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    There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
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    Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
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    It raises their spirits!
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    What can you say about a horrible mummy joke?
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    It sphinx
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    What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
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    Bone appetit
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    A chicken walks into a library, goes up to a librarian and says, "Book book book." The librarian decides that the chicken wants a book so he gives the chicken a book and the chicken walks away. About ten minutes later the chicken comes back with the book, looking a bit agitated, saying, "Book book book." The librarian decides the chicken wants another book so he takes the old book back and gives the chicken another book. The chicken walks out the door. Ten minutes later the chicken comes back again, very agitated, saying, "Book book book!" so quickly it almost sounds like one word. The chicken puts the book on the librarians desk and looks up - waiting for another book. This time the librarian gives the chicken another book and decides that something weird is happening. He follows the chicken out the door and into the park, all the way to the pond. In the pond is a frog sitting on a lily pad. The chicken gives the book to the the frog, who then says, "Reddit, reddit."
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    A magician worked on a cruise ship in the Caribbean. The audience would be different each week, so the magician did the same tricks each week. However, there was a problem, the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting out the secrets in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat." "Look, he is hiding the flowers under the table." "Hey, why are all the cards the Ace of Spades?" The magician was furious but couldn't do anything, it was, after all, the captain's parrot. One day, the ship had an accident and sank. The magician found himself with the parrot, adrift on a piece of wood, in the middle of the ocean. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day, then another, and another. Finally, after a week, the parrot said, "Okay, I give up. Where the heck is the boat?"
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    Q: How come oysters never donate to charity?
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    A: Because they are shellfish.
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    Q: What do you call a rabbit that has fleas?
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    A: Bugs bunny.
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    Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
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    A: Chickens didn't exist yet.
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    It was a baby mosquito's first day to fly out from home. When the mosquito came back home later that day, the father mosquito asked, "How was your journey?" The baby mosquito replied, "It went great. Everyone was clapping for me!"
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    Q: What did the spider do on the computer?
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    A: Made a website!
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    Q: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?
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    A: "Dam."
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    Q: Why are fish easy to weigh?
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    A: Because they have their own scales.
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    Q: What happens when you cross a shark with a cow?
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    A: I don't know, but I wouldn't milk it.
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    Q: Why do birds fly South for the winter?
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    A: It's too far to walk.
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    A guy spots a sign outside a house that reads “Talking Dog for Sale.” Intrigued, he walks in. “So what have you done with your life?” he asks the dog. “I've led a very full life,” says the dog. “I lived in the Alps rescuing avalanche victims. Then I served my country in Iraq. And now I spend my days reading to the residents of a retirement home.” The guy is flabbergasted. He asks the dog’s owner, “Why on earth would you want to get rid of an incredible dog like that?” The owner says, “Because he’s a liar! He never did any of that!”
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    Q: What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?
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    A: "It's pasture bedtime."
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    A guy hears a knock on his door. He opens the door, sees a snail, then picks it up and chucks it as far as possible.Three years later, he hears a knock on his door, opens the door, and sees the same snail. The snail says, "Hey man, what did you do that for?!"
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    What did the doctor say when a pony came in complaining about a sore throat?

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    "I know what's wrong here; you're just a little hoarse!"
 
 
 
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