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    (Original post by CescaD96)
    Hi. I'm 18, currently in the middle of A2 exams. Back in February I went to my GP and I've been diagnosed with moderate depression (and I hear voices but that's a different story.)
    Do go to your GP. It does sound like you are suffering from anxiety (I have social anxiety disorder). However, since you're 17 I think they might have to tell your parents. Telling my dad that I was referred was the hardest thing I ever did but I'm glad I did because he is so supportive of me now.

    And you won't be dismissed. Mental health is very important in teenagers, and if I had only looked after myself when I was younger, I wouldn't be where I am today. So, please, talk to someone. :jumphug:
    I want to go to my GP but they might treat me as a child and be really patronizing especially since I am without an adult. I am not yet ready to tell my dad because he is currently in a tough situation and is expecting me working away as the good child whilst everything else goes wrong. I dont want to be another thing that has gone wrong for him. I am not ready to tell him and he is not ready to hear it just quite yet. But I still want to deal with this problem on my own.

    How did the whole diagnosing process work for you?

    I have no one I can talk to atm but I do know I want to face this problem...

    Thank you for the advice <3
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    (Original post by CescaD96)
    Migraine still present. Pandol was taken. It was so bad that my school seriously considered withdrawing me from my exam, but I did it anyway. :woo:

    We're still putting in special circumstances though. :nods:
    Do you know any good migraine and anxiety medications? I've tried co-codamol and nurofen but they dont help for long term. Is Panadol good? How did your school find out? Who did you tell first? Yeah i think I recall my teacher talking about special circumstances whilst I cried my eyes out :L
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    Okay so this is how my day went i got up and got ready you know as normal for me i showered and dressed and did my hair make up and teeth then watched an hour of tv while putting my shoes on and sorting out of my bag etc and then leaving the house to go to work. I got there late as I got lost [my sat nav took me the wrong way] but i coped as i managed to leave my house early enough to be only a few minutes late and the children weren’t there yet and i didn’t get upset or anything,

    I spoke to a stranger [receptionist] and said what i was there for and she led me through once i’d signed in. After that i met the teacher and TA’s i’d be working with politly and got started with the day, today I first met the children and got my day started by doing drawings then we had a break and I went to the kitchen and had a cup of tea and a drink as i was told i could and then after a break we did maths and had choice time where i was playing a math game with the children and the teacher was doing what felt like nothing. Myself and the other TA’s were doing lots.

    Then it was lunch time so nothing really went on here I just went to the staff room and sat talking to some lovely staff members, then at 1pm the children came back in and we were sat on the carpet playing phonics bingo then the children and myself for the last part of the day were sent off to tables to read a passage and pick out particular phonics and i didn’t know what they were i’d never done them before so i answered her honestly when she asked and i got a dirty look in response and ‘well i’ll need to speak to your tutor then’ which didn’t help my insecurities.

    I managed the activitiy though once i’d listened to the whole instructions. After that the children got their coats, lined up and went to the play ground to go home.

    The issues only arised at the end of the day when the teacher pulled me into the end room once all the kids had gone and said to me ‘look i think you need to reflect on today and whether this is the right thing for you, because, i don’t think it is as when i asked you how things were you said that they were a nightmare [talking about the children] and when i asked you about the phonics we were doing and if you could help those children you said ‘i don’t know if i can do it’ and that was in front of the children and that means that they are not reassured in you’

    I only answered the questions honestly which was ‘yes, everything’s okay bar the children being a bit noisy and i’m having a nightmare because i’m unsure how to keep them calm and quiet’ and then later on ‘no i don’t think i can but i’ll give it a try’ after i’d listened to all the instructions and understood what was happening as i’d never done phonics – it was not done in my school. I was honest and now i feel really really shocking cause i thought i’d had a good day but i think this teacher is just misleading and making me feel so bad about myself. I really did my best and that’s all i can do.
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    (Original post by ilovereading)
    I want to go to my GP but they might treat me as a child and be really patronizing especially since I am without an adult. I am not yet ready to tell my dad because he is currently in a tough situation and is expecting me working away as the good child whilst everything else goes wrong. I dont want to be another thing that has gone wrong for him. I am not ready to tell him and he is not ready to hear it just quite yet. But I still want to deal with this problem on my own.

    How did the whole diagnosing process work for you?

    I have no one I can talk to atm but I do know I want to face this problem...

    Thank you for the advice <3
    You're 17, near enough an adult, and the fact that you want to face this head on is very brave of you, and your GP will respect that. You won't be seen as a child, you'll be seen as someone who is ready to take control of their problems and not let them rule your life.

    I understand what you mean about the whole good child thing. I'm the eldest of 3 and my brother is dyslexic and borderline ADHD, and a lot of attention is on him. I'm the "smart" one of the family. That's what made it so hard for me to tell my Daddy that I was ill. In fact - I've still not told him about my voices.

    I went to my GP on the 13th February, and since I was deemed an urgent case, I was referred to my local cmht and was in with them on the 20th March. In 90 minutes they had my initial diagnosis and I've been on antidepressants since the 1st of April. I'm in weekly now for therapy and check ups since they are not sure of some things.

    If you ever need to chat, PM me, really. I get the exam pressure. A Levels are horrendous.
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    (Original post by ilovereading)
    Do you know any good migraine and anxiety medications? I've tried co-codamol and nurofen but they dont help for long term. Is Panadol good? How did your school find out? Who did you tell first? Yeah i think I recall my teacher talking about special circumstances whilst I cried my eyes out :L
    The Pandol sucks, didn't work at all. I told my Religion teacher first as he has known me since first year, and my form teacher too. My school have been very supportive of my illnesses. As for special circumstances though, I have to get a crap load of medical notes.
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    cnt do this. :cry:
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    uuurg :cry2:
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    (Original post by sherbet_lemons7)
    uuurg :cry2:
    :hugs: If you need to talk, PM away.
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    im a complete fool
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    im a complete fool
    You're not, what's wrong? :hugs:
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    :hugs: If you need to talk, PM away.
    Thanks chook. :lovehug: Feel horrendous. :cry2:

    How are you? :loveduck:
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    (Original post by sherbet_lemons7)
    Thanks chook. :lovehug: Feel horrendous. :cry2:

    How are you? :loveduck:
    :console: Can I help?

    I'm ok.
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    cnt do this. :cry:
    (Original post by sherbet_lemons7)
    uuurg :cry2:
    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    im a complete fool
    :hugs: all three of you. not a fool scary


    --------
    struggling
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    You're not, what's wrong? :hugs:
    I seriously am but thanks. not doing anything, making things harder for myself in terms of eating and sleeping, got an exam on Friday and haven't started revision, just keep lying in bed hoping somehow bad things will happen, engaging in damaging behaviour, triggering myself, I moan im depressed but essentially im making things 100% worse and just deserve all this ****
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    :hugs: all three of you. not a fool scary


    --------
    struggling
    :penguinhug:
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    (Original post by furryface12)
    :hugs: all three of you. not a fool scary


    --------
    struggling
    Here if you need me.

    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    I seriously am but thanks. not doing anything, making things harder for myself in terms of eating and sleeping, got an exam on Friday and haven't started revision, just keep lying in bed hoping somehow bad things will happen, engaging in damaging behaviour, triggering myself, I moan im depressed but essentially im making things 100% worse and just deserve all this ****
    You don't deserve this, you're ill and you need help, it just sucks that everyone who is supposed to help you isn't. They're the fools, not you. You deserve help. Here if you need anything.
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    I feel like crap.
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    Here if you need me.



    You don't deserve this, you're ill and you need help, it just sucks that everyone who is supposed to help you isn't. They're the fools, not you. You deserve help. Here if you need anything.
    im just self sabotaging though, making things worse. tbh just utterly hopeless and have given up a bit
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    im just self sabotaging though, making things worse. tbh just utterly hopeless and have given up a bit
    Even if you are self-sabotaging, that's most likely due to the MH issues you have. :sadnod: That's not your fault. Are you safe? :hugs:
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    Sorry, it's a long one :sad:[spoiler]I close my eyes and wish it would all go away. To have a peaceful mind and heart seem like a distant, unattainable pleasure that I will never be granted. I feel like I live a double life sometimes - inside, I'm all emotions and struggling, yet outside, I cannot show it. Every day that I go to work, mix with other people, they haven't got a clue about the troubles that plague, intrude my thoughts. The acting is draining. I wish I could reach out to all the people I know, but that would be no good, there is nothing they can do and I cannot let them know how disturbed and unhappy I am.:sad: How often I am on the verge of tears. How when they think I'm listening I'm really in a dizzy daydream, pondering and analysing and feeling inadequate and dreadful.

    Today made me pathetic, incredibly patronised and unappreciated. The class teacher had called in sick so the music teacher (my old year 6 teacher, incidentally, Mrs A) was drafted in to cover. She was told to "rely on" me for help, which made me feel great. But as the day went on, I quickly felt frustrated and unhappy. Why? Because she wasn't anywhere near as good as the usual teacher, Mrs C, is and I felt like I could have done a FAR better job. She was too quiet, too soft, too slow at keeping them going. I just wanted to clap my hands and take over the class and instruct them myself, because I knew a FAR better way of doing it all. I know that class, I know what works, I know how we do things. But I didn't ... she was the teacher, I felt it would be rude if I stuck my neck in and tried to help. Yet if I had simply been given the job of instructing everyone, it would have all been so much smoother and easier. Very frustrating to feel like the teacher didn't have control of the class and I wanted to take over but felt I couldn't because of my position. :sigh: A few times, when Mrs A was distracted and the class was in disorder, I DID take control. And guess what? *I* got the class back in order all on my own. I didn't need her. I was making things easier for HER, there was nothing she did that I couldn't have done. But I thought, well you know, I suppose the school are legally required to have a trained teacher in the classroom. :dontknow:

    Then in the afternoon, what a blow to my confidence. Mrs A couldn't come back and so Miss G came in, to my surprise. Now, she's not a teacher. She's a learning assistant like me and only came to the school last April. She did Geography with them and I was like ... I could have done this with them. :indiff: I had to tell her the normal routine that we do and I was trying to take control again discretely... I ordered the class and they followed me like soldiers, I did it all because I KNOW how we do things.

    Then this was when I felt really insulted. The TA from next door, Mrs Cl, came in near the end and started telling Miss G what we normally do, like "Oh get them to get their bags, sit on the carpet, show and tell, prayers, line up here, and then take them outside" and I was really annoyed. Like, excuse me, am I NOT HERE? I had to remind Miss G about prayers and I got all the children to line up etc. All sorted. And then .. the final smack in the face. Usually the teacher and TA both go out and send the kids off to their parents one by one. Well, Mrs Cl came to take out MY class. Like, I don't do this EVERY DAY, like I don't know the parents? LIKE I COULDN'T DO IT? I felt so, so, so patronised.

    And then after all that, I did over an hour's unpaid overtime, sorting out all the books and sticking and marking everything, long after all the other TAs and most teachers had gone home.

    I had to blink back the tears this afternoon, even now. It felt like I wasn't there. I wasn't trusted. I wasn't considered capable. The number of times when a teacher has been late or whatever and I've taken control of the class and looked after them all on my own (this used to happen often even when I was unpaid). I've proved myself SO MANY times. I just felt so pissed off, so patronised.

    It'll probably sound like I'm complaining over nothing but it really knocked my confidence. Miss G was no more qualified than me, yet she was drafted in AND Mrs Cl had to help too when it was totally unneeded.

    I want my own class. All that on top of everything else that makes me feel rotten. :bawling:
 
 
 
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