Depression Society MkII Watch

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jonathan122
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#7441
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#7441
I just wish they wouldn't hate me so much.
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vapid slut magician
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#7442
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#7442
Oh for the love of Jesus, I'm getting Deaned for being crazy now. This is ridiculous. I don't know if I want this degree bad enough to go through that kind of humiliation.
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vapid slut magician
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#7443
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#7443
(Original post by jonathan122)
I just wish they wouldn't hate me so much.
who hates you? I find it really hard to help you because I don't understand the situation or where you get all these thoughts from
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vapid slut magician
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#7444
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(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
here comes the anxiety again. shame, it's such a nice day. ugh.
I'm waiting for some serious anxiety to hit. Finally decided to get off my anti dep after the drunken hysterics of a few nights ago. Cut my dose from 30mg to 22.5mg so I have a week of suffering to look forward to. Then the week after I want to go to 15mg. I'll have to see how it pans out, don't want to make definite plans when I don't know how badly (or not, with any luck) my body will react. If it's anything like going from 40mg to 30mg then I'll be lying on the floor with nausea and unable to stand because my blood pressure drops so low.
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Dinendal Leralonde
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My counselling ended today, and it's not helped one bit. And all the 30mg of Citalopram has done is to **** up my body clock. Does that mean I'm unfixable?
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by Dinendal Leralonde)
My counselling ended today, and it's not helped one bit. And all the 30mg of Citalopram has done is to **** up my body clock. Does that mean I'm unfixable?
No it doesn't mean that, it might mean citalopram isn't the right thing for you: have you tried any other anti-depressants?
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becki08
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(Original post by Sabertooth)
No it doesn't mean that, it might mean citalopram isn't the right thing for you: have you tried any other anti-depressants?
You're not unfixable - there's lots of other things that can help : other meds/different types of therapy etc
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becki08
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#7448
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Hi Saber, how are you doing?
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Sabertooth
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#7449
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(Original post by becki08)
Hi Saber, how are you doing?
Hey Becki

Not too great tbh; had emergancy appointment with my psychiatrist this morning but she didn't do anything to help, feeling quite a bit let down. How about you?
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becki08
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(Original post by Sabertooth)
Hey Becki

Not too great tbh; had emergancy appointment with my psychiatrist this morning but she didn't do anything to help, feeling quite a bit let down. How about you?
:hugs: do you want to talk about anything? When do you next see her?

I'm not doing too well at the moment either to be honest. Can't put it down in words though.
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by becki08)
:hugs: do you want to talk about anything? When do you next see her?

I'm not doing too well at the moment either to be honest. Can't put it down in words though.
Thanks. See her in two weeks, not sure how I'm going to manage until then, mostly I'm just so lonely and down, also exams and stuff coming up, everything's too much. :'(

Sorry to hear you're not doing well either. If you do find the words later and want to talk, pm me. :hugs:
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death.drop
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#7452
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my mum used my laptop while I was at work, saw me screen saver and totally freaked out.

it's a sliding thing of post secrets, including such gems as "I try to **** the pain away. it doesn't work", "sex always feels like abuse" and "sometimes I wish that I would die under tragic circumstances so that people will remember me for who I could have been instead of growing older and failing to live up to the expectations set for me".

I know she knows that something happened, I doubt she knows the extent. but I'm not about to come clean about it, I don't see what benefit it would be to either of us.
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becki08
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(Original post by Sabertooth)
Thanks. See her in two weeks, not sure how I'm going to manage until then, mostly I'm just so lonely and down, also exams and stuff coming up, everything's too much. :'(

Sorry to hear you're not doing well either. If you do find the words later and want to talk, pm me. :hugs:
Thanks :hugs: I appreciate it.

It's quite amazing how much worse exams can make stuff isn't it! Is your uni aware of what's going on? If you find you're struggling then could you go to see your GP and touch base with them before you see your psych again? :hugs:
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becki08
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(Original post by death.drop)
my mum used my laptop while I was at work, saw me screen saver and totally freaked out.

it's a sliding thing of post secrets, including such gems as "I try to **** the pain away. it doesn't work", "sex always feels like abuse" and "sometimes I wish that I would die under tragic circumstances so that people will remember me for who I could have been instead of growing older and failing to live up to the expectations set for me".

I know she knows that something happened, I doubt she knows the extent. but I'm not about to come clean about it, I don't see what benefit it would be to either of us.
:hugs: maybe she would be able to support you if she knew what had happened? It's totally up to you whether or not you tell though :hugs:
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by becki08)
Thanks :hugs: I appreciate it.

It's quite amazing how much worse exams can make stuff isn't it! Is your uni aware of what's going on? If you find you're struggling then could you go to see your GP and touch base with them before you see your psych again? :hugs:
Yeah my uni contacted my psych for like exam arrangements etc not sure what's going to happen, maybe smaller room and stuff so I'm not so worried about other people. Good idea about the GP thanks! I hadn't thought of that.


Death drop: that last quote made me want to cry. I hope you're ok. :hugs:
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death.drop
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(Original post by Sabertooth)
Death drop: that last quote made me want to cry. I hope you're ok. :hugs:
yeah it's accompanied by a picture of a girl in her underwear face down on concrete with blood pouring out of her head. It's a really grotty thing and it feels rubbish to identify with it.

hope your next appointment goes better, do you know why this one didn't really help?

(Original post by becki08)
:hugs: maybe she would be able to support you if she knew what had happened? It's totally up to you whether or not you tell though :hugs:
To be honest whenever my mum tries to support me she just ends up making me feel worse. I love her and everything, we get on well but she makes everything about her. I know this would turn in to "I'm a terrible mother, I should have noticed, I went through something similar <goes onto tell story of totally unrelated event", I can't believe this happened to my daughter, I feel terrible about this, blah blah blah <no mention of how I am at all>"

My brothers help me but I wouldn't want to tell them this either, it changes how people see you. It changes how people treat you. I just want to be their little sister, not some abuse victim.

are you feeling any better?
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blackfish
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I've had a shocking day today.

Got laughed at on the bus by some female college students just because I had a "nerdy" phone.
Then recieved a load of abuse in the pub simply because I looked up from my computer screen. ARGH!!! I wasn't even looking at the person in the bl**dy first place!
Then to top the day off nicely I cut my hand on a knife doing the washing up after dinner.

I'm feeling like an outcast, I can't go anywhere like to a cafe or on a bus without someone giving me a nasty look. I wish I could be accepted. But I doubt that will ever happen.

Sorry for the rant.

:hugs: to all

P.S. I am reasonably happy at the moment because I just found a chillout tune i've been searching for, for a very long time :tounge:
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Dinendal Leralonde
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(Original post by Sabertooth)
No it doesn't mean that, it might mean citalopram isn't the right thing for you: have you tried any other anti-depressants?
Yeah. I was on fluoxetine before.
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by Dinendal Leralonde)
Yeah. I was on fluoxetine before.
I've been on both fluoxetine and citalopram and neither did anything for me, it took quite a bit of experimenting to find one that worked (then it stopped :dry:). Anyway, don't give up hope yet there's plenty of anti-depressants to try if you want to take that approach, if not there's CBT, other counsellors, other therapies, loads of stuff.
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Sabertooth
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(Original post by death.drop)
yeah it's accompanied by a picture of a girl in her underwear face down on concrete with blood pouring out of her head. It's a really grotty thing and it feels rubbish to identify with it.

hope your next appointment goes better, do you know why this one didn't really help?
I'm not meaning to sound out of my place, so sorry if it seems like that, but doesn't that make you feel worse? Like just the quote and my identifying with it made me feel quite a bit sad, I have pictures of cute cats on my walls and people I love and stuff to try and distract myself. I hope I don't offend you. :redface:

Thanks for the best wishes for the next appointment. I'm not sure what I expected my psych to do tbh, I guess I want her to wave a wand and make me feel less **** but it's not going to happen so most things are disappointing. :tongue:
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