Sometimes I really find myself being a huge hypocrite. A big part of me really wishes to live back in a time before the internet, and a lot of modern culture..
I would love to have grown up in my parents, or even grandparents generations..
my grandparents, post war, experianced some great times, and are now a hugely wealthy generation.. I love looking back at their old photos, and seeing how simple society looked back then - atleast out in the country way.. and I hugely envy them and their lack of depandancy on technology and the internet.. my grandad is not on a computer all day, all his social interaction is in person.. he goes out, does things, is very active etc.. very practical.
My parents on the other hand, got to grow up in the 70s-80s.. huge pop culture time.. explosions of music, films, so so many of our cultrual icons and ideas still come from that time, and you only need to look at how hyped we still get when things started in the 80s are brought back, to see how huge a time it was for popular culture.. best 2 decades for film and music for me.. and thats not saying its my personal taste (I prefer the music/films of today) but trying to look objectivly, for me it is the best..
They grew up with emerging technologies.. endless possibilities of these new ideas.. their childhood/teenage years were still spent without much technology and without many modern influences, but as they aproached adulthood they could grasp at a whole new industry..
So I get very envious of them.. and it makes me sad to see things that were staples of their culture disapear..
But I am a huge hypocrite..
I hate that paper readership is going down - but I dont buy papers
I hate how dependant some of us are on the internet - what am I doing right now
I hate local shops closing - but I shop in large supermarkets
It really does frustrait me..
I always thought that one day, when I was older and more settled in life, I would find a way to lead a more simple life.. because I really feel like the way I am living now is not making me happy, and so much of what I do, is out of conditioning and adiction rather then enjoyment.
The times I am most happy are when I am with friends and family in person, haivng fun.. I love board games more then computer games, I am happiest when working on a practical project..
A few summesr back I spent 3 months building a wooden kayak.. just because.. It took ages, made of over 300 peices of wood, like these:
when I was a kid I loved gardening, but these days I never do it.. I loved music, but how much do I play, and very rarely with others.. Just before christmas I spent a month building a fibreglass surfboard for my dad.. etc.
I know what makes me happy, the simple practical, and very real life-social things.. but yet most of my life is spent doing the exact oposite..
Really frustraits me, and I need to sort things out - and quickly. Since I met my wife things have improved a lot, but there is still a long way to go (and I know a lot of this frustration is because she is away, and I think about things far to much when she i am on my own) but jeeze.. I need to sort my life out, and fast. Every bit of it, my job, but also the way I lead my life outside of work.