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    been sobbing into my blanket. peace seems to be impossible. very fragile.
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    Can I PM someone about GP related stuff? Kind of a rant I guess???
    Sure :hugs: Though not sure how much longer I'll be up but I'll try and stay awake for at least the first PM


    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    been sobbing into my blanket. peace seems to be impossible. very fragile.
    :jumphug:


    (Original post by Anonymous)
    does anyone else just start talking to themselves when they remember something embarrassing from the past. If I remember a embarrassing memory I'll suddenly imagine it so vividly that Ill start saying words either related to it.. or just blurt random words to block it out. I guess its a mechanism to stop you thinking about the memory and instead the random words.. but I'm just slightly worried about it.

    Sometimes I also end up remembering memories and again vividly imagining I'm back there and then saying words that I should have said or wanted to say only to find to wake up back to reality and the present.. and then its just gets a bit embarrassing.

    Do you think this is something to worry about it? Does anyone else do this?
    I don't have exactly the same issue but something a bit like it. Sometimes when I'm thinking about certain things, words just come out of my mouth. It's like another person is saying them, but through me somehow?! All a bit confusing. It does bother me a bit but I've never mentioned it to anyone, really :o:

    (Original post by Phil2008)
    Any other agoraphobics around here?
    Hello! I'm not sure we've met. I'm Shan, the yodelling goatherd :musicus:

    I suffer from agoraphobia in a mild form on an on-and-off basis. Fortunately for me it's more off than on but when I get really psychotic, then the agoraphobia comes along :sadnod:
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    Can I PM someone about GP related stuff? Kind of a rant I guess???
    My inbox is open


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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    Sure :hugs: Though not sure how much longer I'll be up but I'll try and stay awake for at least the first PM
    (Original post by PandaWho)
    My inbox is open


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    Thanks guys! Will inbox you both, if that's ok?
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    (Original post by Pathway)
    Thanks guys! Will inbox you both, if that's ok?
    Yep thats fine!


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    (Original post by Pathway)
    Thanks guys! Will inbox you both, if that's ok?
    Of course - go ahead
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    It's not exactly much but at least I've deleted half my inbox (1500 emails) today, and got a better idea about how to handle my laptop's battery which had been dead for around a year just little things which are overwhelming me atm dunno why
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    this feels really pathetic but my mum sent me really nice new pyjamas and ive already got blood on them from my eczema and its upset me, I can't have anything nice because of my stupid ****ed up skin I don't think I own a single pair of pyjamas or set of bedsheets that aren't stained in multiple places because my eczema keeps weeping or bleeding on them and im sick of it. I can't have nice things because my stupid skin is useless I hate it, nothing ever fixes it except short term solutions that aren't safe for long term use :cry:



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    Why cant i bloody sleep arghhhhhh


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    (Original post by Todot)
    :hugs: I'm glad you're feeling more settled with it in a leadership role its not necessarily about telling people what to do more listening to everyone and taking their opinions into account which it sounds like you would be good at. Yeah it'll be a good opportunity to build on things AAAANNNDDD (fingers crossed anyway) I'll be back next year so if you ever need a chat with someone separate from things I can help with all my vast experience

    I'm up and down... a lot doctors decided to change my medication again so that might help I dunno :dontknow:
    Hadn't thought about that, it's just different to how it's generally lead, I think? At least I feel a lot different to the last 2-4 people in the role - I'm thinking I should be okay for it? But just need to try and be myself/try and be happy with that. Realised over group therapy/just last couple weeks in general that my selfworth is a lot lower than I thought it was. Maybe.

    oo yes :woo: Thanks Hope you are!

    Oh that sounds rubbish :hugs: Hope the new meds help out - I thought you'd said the last lot had been good? or like an improvement, but just not enough of an improvement? But yeah, hope they help out

    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    been sobbing into my blanket. peace seems to be impossible. very fragile.
    :jumphug:

    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    It's not exactly much but at least I've deleted half my inbox (1500 emails) today, and got a better idea about how to handle my laptop's battery which had been dead for around a year just little things which are overwhelming me atm dunno why
    Need to do that some point Got about 700 unread ones currently - most aren't important at all/are very old, but just kinda left them/often I don't click on emails if I know what they are.

    (Original post by Odd socks)
    spoilered for blood mention
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    this feels really pathetic but my mum sent me really nice new pyjamas and ive already got blood on them from my eczema and its upset me, I can't have anything nice because of my stupid ****ed up skin I don't think I own a single pair of pyjamas or set of bedsheets that aren't stained in multiple places because my eczema keeps weeping or bleeding on them and im sick of it. I can't have nice things because my stupid skin is useless I hate it, nothing ever fixes it except short term solutions that aren't safe for long term use :cry:
    :hugs:


    -----------------------------------------


    Just had over 15 hours at Uni in one go :eek: all in/around the same lecture theatre! :O Just had cinema stuff all day, really. Watched 2001: A Space Odyssey - was really good :yep: Almost didn't stay around to project the late/mind was brooding a bit because I'd had such a late night last night, and an early start, and had just spent so long there, but ended up having a nice time doing it, and a good experience! - We were projecting in (now very rare!) 70mm film was good :yep:

    But yeah, anyway....! Time for sleep now I think

    Group therapy yesterday was good, I think, was apparently "a lot more present", which is good, and kinda made some ground I think/in understanding bits and bobs from the last couple of weeks. Nothing on the decisions/obsession front, but I think just come to realise that I have a lot lower opinion of myself than I thought? Is weird - I've always *thought* "oh yes I like x, y, z, about myself/I like myself", but then I'm not sure now how much I *feel* that way about myself? I don't know But anyway, yes.

    Finished 2nd big diary now, need to start another :eek: But yes - Good night all! OH and LOTR books came yesterday and they are so so so adorable and awesome
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    No sleep yet, neighbours are plaiting loud music : I
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    No sleep yet, neighbours are plaiting loud music : I
    You know you can report them to the police if they play music loud at this hour? They will maintain your anonymity.

    I feel for you, i often hear banging and crashing from one of my neighbours, though not often at night time :hugs:

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    (Original post by Meaty_man)
    You know you can report them to the police if they play music loud at this hour? They will maintain your anonymity.

    I feel for you, i often hear banging and crashing from one of my neighbours, though not often at night time :hugs:

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    I could, but seems as though it was a one-off I let them off. I knocked on the wall and they turned it down around 3.30 lol

    It did initiate 2 hours of browsing through the complete FB conversations between myself and my ex, something I've been scared to look at for the last year…

    Did you get to sleep alright tonight mate? Everything been going OK generally?
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    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    I could, but seems as though it was a one-off I let them off. I knocked on the wall and they turned it down around 3.30 lol

    It did initiate 2 hours of browsing through the complete FB conversations between myself and my ex, something I've been scared to look at for the last year…

    Did you get to sleep alright tonight mate? Everything been going OK generally?
    Sorry for late reply, i was actually doing a night shift at a care home, 12 hours O_o very taxing in some respects, but rewarding in others. The other staff are lovely which helps a lot

    Things are going onwards and upwards, but ain't gonna lie my anxiety is pretty bad at the moment, was only my second shift so im hoping before too long i will cope better. Happy to be coming off jobseekers and earning money now though.

    Good job for getting the courage to read that stuff, it can be tough :hugs:

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    Actually get some sleep for once and just end up with a series of stupid triggery dreams/nightmares and the last one won't go out of my head


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    I think I need a day off uni tomorrow for mental health reasons. I'm so close to a total relapse that doing anything except lying flat and alone is painful.

    I have a tutorial in the morning that I'm supposed to have a folder scrutiny in because I missed the last folder scrutiny because I wasn't very well then either. There isn't even time to reschedule because after tomorrow we move to being in school full time. I'm so worried that what is going on could affect my chances of getting a job. My in-school stuff is brilliant but uni stuff is too much
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    really unsettled horrible night :sigh:
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    One of those days where you feel totally and utterly, painfully alone. :cry2:
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    (Original post by ScaryScience)
    really unsettled horrible night :sigh:
    (Original post by sherbet_lemons7)
    One of those days where you feel totally and utterly, painfully alone. :cry2:
    :jumphug: to both
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    (Original post by The_Lonely_Goatherd)
    :jumphug: to both
    thanks. how are you?
 
 
 
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