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Can we get 3115 posts by Halloween 2015? watch

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    Which ship is unsinkable?

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    Friendship.
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    Why did the turtle cross the road?
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    To get to the shell station!
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    What did the letter say to the envelope?

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    I'll keep you posted.
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    Why is six afraid of seven?

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    Because seven eight nine
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    Q: Why are frogs so happy?
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    A: Because they eat everything that bugs them.
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    How do you know when you are going to drown in milk?

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    When its past your eyes!
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    A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
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    Did you hear that the police have a warrant out on a midget psychic ripping people off? It reads "Small medium at large."
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    A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "If I show you a really good trick, will you give me a free drink?" The bartender considers it, then agrees. The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out a tiny rat. He reaches into his other pocket and pulls out a tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The bartender pours the man a drink on the house and he puts the rat and piano away. After the man finished his drink, he asked the bartender, "If I show you an even better trick, will you give me free drinks for the rest of the evening?" The bartender agrees, thinking that no trick could possibly be better than the first. The man reaches into his pockets again and pulls out the tiny rat and tiny piano. The rat stretches, cracks his knuckles, and proceeds to play the blues. The man reaches into a third pocket and pulls out a small bullfrog, who begins to sing along with the rat's music.While the man is enjoying his beverages, a stranger confronts him and offers him $100,000.00 for the bullfrog. "Sorry," the man replies, "he's not for sale." The stranger increases the offer to $250,000.00 cash up front. "No," he insists, "he's not for sale." The stranger again increases the offer, this time to $500,000.00 cash. The man finally agrees, and turns the frog over to the stranger in exchange for the money."Are you insane?" the bartender demanded. "That frog could have been worth millions to you, and you let him go for a mere $500,000!" "Don't worry about it," the man answered. "The frog was nothing special. You see, the rat's a ventriloquist."
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    Ding-dong.
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    What time is it when ten elephants are chasing you?

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    Ten after one!!
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    A snail entered a police station and told an officer, "I just got mugged by two turtles. They beat me up and took all my money!" The officer replied, "Why that's terrible. Did you get a good look at them?" "No sir, it all happened so fast!"
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    Want to hear a dirty joke? The white horse fell in the mud.
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    Q: What show do cows love to watch while they're eating?
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    A: Graze Anatomy.
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    I heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there.
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    Q: What do you call a T-Rex's bruise?
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    A: A dino-sore.
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    A man dining at a restaurant flagged down his waiter and said, "Excuse me. I have a bee in my soup." The waiter replied, "Yes sir. Didn't you order the alphabet soup?"
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    A man was caught stealing in a supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires. He was charged with shoplifting on two counts.
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    What do you call a solitary shark?

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    A lone shark
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    Our wedding was so beautiful, even the cake was in tiers.
 
 
 

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