Depression Society MkII Watch

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jonathan122
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#7621
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#7621
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
Ugh. Life was so much easier before girls.
That's a pretty decent precis of thousands of years of religious teaching. You should do a theology degree. :hugs:
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*pink_sapphires*
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#7622
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#7622
(Original post by Divinitywolf)
Its good to have a job. Working can take your mind off things.
146 miles is a lot! Maybe you should get an early night?
or watch a film or something. That could take your mind off it.
Don't worry just keep track of even small achievements you've made in your day. Driving that far is quite an achievement and shows dedication to getting a job, and that you're not lazy.
Well done
Well I had to take my dad to the airport, then get my car fixed, then job interview so overall drove that far. Shattered now. Just running myself a nice relaxing bubble bath as a treat

PC - Cheeky!!!! Am I not worth knowing???? :p: :hugs: for you...I know how it feels to be upset with the opposite sex
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Pocket Calculator
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#7623
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#7623
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
PC - Cheeky!!!! Am I not worth knowing???? :p: :hugs: for you...I know how it feels to be upset with the opposite sex
haha! aww, i didn't mean it :P

it's pushed me back into rollercoaster mode. i get a little kick whenever i hear from her (futile optimism - "she still likes me! yay!"), and then after half an hour i'm low again with melancholy and paranoia. better than being constantly down, i guess.
made me feel even worse knowing that my housemates picked up on her signs and were expecting us to get together. so it wasn't all just in my head. i liked her a *hell* of a lot, too. i've literally been engaged to people i liked less than her.
ugh. it's gonna drive me mad.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#7624
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#7624
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
haha! aww, i didn't mean it :P

it's pushed me back into rollercoaster mode. i get a little kick whenever i hear from her (futile optimism - "she still likes me! yay!"), and then after half an hour i'm low again with melancholy and paranoia. better than being constantly down, i guess.
made me feel even worse knowing that my housemates picked up on her signs and were expecting us to get together. so it wasn't all just in my head. i liked her a *hell* of a lot, too. i've literally been engaged to people i liked less than her.
ugh. it's gonna drive me mad.

Yeah, the rollercoaster thing I completely understand!

Just had a nice hot relaxing bath but now I feel **** again. Time to watch Gossip Girl and sleep me thinks!
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hbandtr4eva
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#7625
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#7625
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
how come you're still talking to him? is he with someone else? he definitely still cares about you. why did he leave?
He didn't want to be in a relationship. Even though he loves me, he doesn't want to be with anyone, not just me. I'm always going to be waiting for him to come back. Neither of us are seeing anyone else.

And we're not talking as such, I just sent him this the other day: "I hope you're proud of me. Because I am. I will never be able to explain how much this has hurt me, but finally things are sorting themselves out and I'm going to be ok. I haven't been this girl in nearly two years and now I am me again. I want to make you proud. I hope I have. I love you".

I got this back: "You will never know how proud I am of you. I have always been proud and I always will be. I hope that you are well and I know you can suceed in anything you put your mind to. Good luck and keep going. I know you can do it. I am very proud."

He's breaking my heart, I want my boy back.
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Divinitywolf
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#7626
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#7626
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
Yeah, the rollercoaster thing I completely understand!

Just had a nice hot relaxing bath but now I feel **** again. Time to watch Gossip Girl and sleep me thinks!
Yeah get some sleep. I won't tell you you'll feel better in the morning because it may not be the case but when you're asleep aren't you at peace?
I always looked forward to sleeping because it was the time I could escape.
Nighty night
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jonathan122
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#7627
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#7627
(Original post by hbandtr4eva)
He didn't want to be in a relationship. Even though he loves me, he doesn't want to be with anyone, not just me. I'm always going to be waiting for him to come back. Neither of us are seeing anyone else.

And we're not talking as such, I just sent him this the other day: "I hope you're proud of me. Because I am. I will never be able to explain how much this has hurt me, but finally things are sorting themselves out and I'm going to be ok. I haven't been this girl in nearly two years and now I am me again. I want to make you proud. I hope I have. I love you".

I got this back: "You will never know how proud I am of you. I have always been proud and I always will be. I hope that you are well and I know you can suceed in anything you put your mind to. Good luck and keep going. I know you can do it. I am very proud."

He's breaking my heart, I want my boy back.
I don't understand how he can do this to you. It's inhuman.
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Divinitywolf
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#7628
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#7628
(Original post by hbandtr4eva)
He didn't want to be in a relationship. Even though he loves me, he doesn't want to be with anyone, not just me. I'm always going to be waiting for him to come back. Neither of us are seeing anyone else.

And we're not talking as such, I just sent him this the other day: "I hope you're proud of me. Because I am. I will never be able to explain how much this has hurt me, but finally things are sorting themselves out and I'm going to be ok. I haven't been this girl in nearly two years and now I am me again. I want to make you proud. I hope I have. I love you".

I got this back: "You will never know how proud I am of you. I have always been proud and I always will be. I hope that you are well and I know you can suceed in anything you put your mind to. Good luck and keep going. I know you can do it. I am very proud."

He's breaking my heart, I want my boy back.
Sadly if he really doesn't want a relationship then the only way forward is to let go. It gets easier as time moves on, as you'll realise you can live life without him, it just takes some getting used to. Think of the times you've been happy, loving him and feeling grateful to have known him.
Appreciate that you had the chance to know him and that so easily your life could've taken a different path with you two not meeting at all. Not very comforting but just realise that you will always have friends who'll help you through this.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#7629
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#7629
(Original post by Divinitywolf)
Yeah get some sleep. I won't tell you you'll feel better in the morning because it may not be the case but when you're asleep aren't you at peace?
I always looked forward to sleeping because it was the time I could escape.
Nighty night
No, I probably won't feel better in the morning. I hate waking up. I haven't got anything to do tomorrow now my friend has cancelled on me so it's going to be a day of being paranoid. Might attempt some college work but doubt I'll get far as I don't have the self discipline. When I actually manage to sleep, I am sometimes at peace but it depends if I'm dreaming or not. I just have nightmares you see but they're a lot lot better since I came off my anti-deps.

How are you today? :hugs? xx
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Divinitywolf
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#7630
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#7630
(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
No, I probably won't feel better in the morning. I hate waking up. I haven't got anything to do tomorrow now my friend has cancelled on me so it's going to be a day of being paranoid. Might attempt some college work but doubt I'll get far as I don't have the self discipline. When I actually manage to sleep, I am sometimes at peace but it depends if I'm dreaming or not. I just have nightmares you see but they're a lot lot better since I came off my anti-deps.

How are you today? :hugs? xx
Yeah I know what you mean. I lack so much self discipline and it gets really annoying sometimes.
Try to think peaceful thoughts before you go to sleep. Despite what some people say, I believe we can influence our dreams by what we think about during the day.
You and your friend will get to go out some other time, I'm sure, and because you'll have waited longer, it'll be that much more special

I'm alright thanks. Not good nor bad really. Tired is the word for it though, so I think I'll go to bed soon.
We can talk another time, or PM me if you want. I'm always happy to help people that need it and I love to talk

*Hugs* bye for now.
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blackfish
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#7631
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#7631
(Original post by Divinitywolf)
Believe me I know how that feels. Its always hard and you feel lonely, just don't let your loneliness turn into anger for people not talking to you. Thats what happened to me and its not the right way to go.
Best way is to get over that first contact hurdle and once you're talking to them its easier from then on.
Yes I know what you mean, problem is i've already turned bitter. It's been like this for 5 years now, it gets to you after a while. I used to have some good friends but I moved and haven't really seen them since.

I'd advise you not to sit in the corner of the pub. If you're sitting in the shadows, downing shots you might scare people

Divinitywolf
Haha, I wasn't drinking shots, Merely Tetley Tea My drink of choice, boring I know, but sometimes I just can't bear the thought of going back to my flat on my own.

PinkSapphires, well done with your job interview. I will have my fingers crossed for you Don't be too disheartened if you don't get the job. There will be others :hugs: Hope you had a nice bath.

I'm going to go and watch some tv now. Anything to drown out the sexual noises coming from the upstairs flat. Not fair dammit, I have to get up for work in 6 hours. Assuming I actually get some sleep!
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Blue Rose
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#7632
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#7632
Sexual noises are the worst. Gosh I know how you feel.Hence why I hate going home to London. But I got some earplugs they seemed to work but I was only back for 2 nights.

Next issue, I hate the feeling where I've been so happy for so long and then I always get back to square one. It's like 1 step forward 2 steps back, 2 steps forward 4 steps back, 10 steps forward 10 steps back.
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jonathan122
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#7633
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#7633
I hate everything about me. :cry:
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Blue Rose
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#7634
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#7634
(Original post by jonathan122)
I hate everything about me.
Aww, I'm sure there must be one good thing about you! *Hugs* Don't like feeling that. Wanna talk about it? You can say here Or PM me if you like
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death.drop
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#7635
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#7635
(Original post by blackfish)
I'm going to go and watch some tv now. Anything to drown out the sexual noises coming from the upstairs flat. Not fair dammit, I have to get up for work in 6 hours. Assuming I actually get some sleep!
not really related to the quote but your housing situation made me think: have you thought about moving in to shared housing? it might be good for helping you to meet new people. a lot of shared housing comes without a contract so if it's too stressful for you, you could move out very quickly.
just a thought.


hbandtr4eva - you can't wait forever for something that might happen, you need to live your life.
You're so lucky that this guy broke up with you in such a kind way and that he's still being a good friend to you. Just be glad that he's not out of your life and you can still be close.
Being sentimental and saying I love you to him is not going to bring you closer, and it's probably making things quite awkward for him at the moment. If he feels one day that he wants you back I'm sure he'll tell you, until then try to treat him like a friend. I know how hard it is to resist the urge to say what you're feeling but the longer you go without saying it the easier it is.
If you're anything like me you feel your heart breaking all over again when the text back doesn't finish with 'I love you too', which makes things so much harder to move on from. so really, try to stop it. even if you just cut out those words.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#7636
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#7636
(Original post by blackfish)
PinkSapphires, well done with your job interview. I will have my fingers crossed for you Don't be too disheartened if you don't get the job. There will be others :hugs: Hope you had a nice bath.
Thanks darling :hugs: It was a weird interview as they didn't really get to know me at all. No note of my education, job history, nothing about me at all. He asked me what I knew about the place, to sell myself in 30 seconds and how I'd deal with an angry customer. That was it. Will find out at the beginning of next week.

How are you today?

---------------------

I just spent £64 in Halfords for things for my car. EEEEK!!!!!!!!!!! I don't have that kind of money but yeah...it will last forever and I'm going to really look after him. Going to get changed into old clothes and go and wash him now. Then will polish him and hoover him and try to get rid of some scratches using 't-cut' and clean the interior. I'm actually really excited! I love my little Lorenzo...he's the best car ever (besides Gordo but Gordo is no more as he got squashed I keep calling Lorenzo Gordo though which isn't good! I do miss him sometimes but only for the sentimental value, not for the actual driving).


Oh, and yes, I know I'm weird naming my car and talking about it and everything, but hey, that's me
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Divinitywolf
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#7637
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#7637
@Blackfish: You're feeling bitter too huh? Do you also sometimes kinda like feeling bitter and other times it really gets you down? Because thats the case with me but then I'm generally two different people. Good side, bad side.

@Jonathan: I can relate to hating yourself. I can find maybe one thing good about myself? But I'm not even sure whether its really there.

@Pink_Sapphires: People are getting more and more informal and anti-social these days. All that matters to companies are profits. They don't care who you are as long as you produce profits. Thats the way of the world
But you shouldn't care about them either. If you get the job then thats fantastic and I'm sure the money will help. Try to enjoy it as much as possible.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#7638
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#7638
(Original post by Divinitywolf)
@Blackfish: You're feeling bitter too huh? Do you also sometimes kinda like feeling bitter and other times it really gets you down? Because thats the case with me but then I'm generally two different people. Good side, bad side.

@Jonathan: I can relate to hating yourself. I can find maybe one thing good about myself? But I'm not even sure whether its really there.

@Pink_Sapphires: People are getting more and more informal and anti-social these days. All that matters to companies are profits. They don't care who you are as long as you produce profits. Thats the way of the world
But you shouldn't care about them either. If you get the job then thats fantastic and I'm sure the money will help. Try to enjoy it as much as possible.

Yeah, true. Fingers crossed I get it. If I don't, I have no chance of getting anything

----------------------

Just washed, polished and hoovered my car and removed the stains from the seats. Very pleased with myself. Taken hours but he now looks nearly as good as he did when I drove him off the forecourt
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Divinitywolf
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#7639
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#7639
Of course you do.
If I owned a company, I'd employ you.
You seem like a lovely person.
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*pink_sapphires*
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#7640
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#7640
(Original post by Divinitywolf)
Of course you do.
If I owned a company, I'd employ you.
You seem like a lovely person.
:hugs: aww that's such a lovely thing to say. Thank you It's just hard as I have very low self-esteem and no self-confidence so I can't sell myself very well. I expect the interviewers have heard all the answers before so it seems really cliched to me. Had better look online for some jobs now actually. Have 3 hours to myself and don't know what to do. I could make Gavin's birthday card but I don't know if I'm emotionally stable enough to do that, or I could watch TV, or read a book or I dunno....any ideas??
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