Depression Society MkII

Ugh. Life was so much easier before girls.

Its good to have a job. Working can take your mind off things.
146 miles is a lot! Maybe you should get an early night?
or watch a film or something. That could take your mind off it.
Don't worry just keep track of even small achievements you've made in your day. Driving that far is quite an achievement and shows dedication to getting a job, and that you're not lazy.
Well done

PC - Cheeky!!!! Am I not worth knowing???? for you...I know how it feels to be upset with the opposite sex

haha! aww, i didn't mean it :P

it's pushed me back into rollercoaster mode. i get a little kick whenever i hear from her (futile optimism - "she still likes me! yay!"), and then after half an hour i'm low again with melancholy and paranoia. better than being constantly down, i guess.
made me feel even worse knowing that my housemates picked up on her signs and were expecting us to get together. so it wasn't all just in my head. i liked her a *hell* of a lot, too. i've literally been engaged to people i liked less than her.
ugh. it's gonna drive me mad.

how come you're still talking to him? is he with someone else? he definitely still cares about you. why did he leave?

Yeah, the rollercoaster thing I completely understand!

Just had a nice hot relaxing bath but now I feel **** again. Time to watch Gossip Girl and sleep me thinks!

He didn't want to be in a relationship. Even though he loves me, he doesn't want to be with anyone, not just me. I'm always going to be waiting for him to come back. Neither of us are seeing anyone else.

And we're not talking as such, I just sent him this the other day: "I hope you're proud of me. Because I am. I will never be able to explain how much this has hurt me, but finally things are sorting themselves out and I'm going to be ok. I haven't been this girl in nearly two years and now I am me again. I want to make you proud. I hope I have. I love you".

I got this back: "You will never know how proud I am of you. I have always been proud and I always will be. I hope that you are well and I know you can suceed in anything you put your mind to. Good luck and keep going. I know you can do it. I am very proud."

He's breaking my heart, I want my boy back.

He didn't want to be in a relationship. Even though he loves me, he doesn't want to be with anyone, not just me. I'm always going to be waiting for him to come back. Neither of us are seeing anyone else.

And we're not talking as such, I just sent him this the other day: "I hope you're proud of me. Because I am. I will never be able to explain how much this has hurt me, but finally things are sorting themselves out and I'm going to be ok. I haven't been this girl in nearly two years and now I am me again. I want to make you proud. I hope I have. I love you".

I got this back: "You will never know how proud I am of you. I have always been proud and I always will be. I hope that you are well and I know you can suceed in anything you put your mind to. Good luck and keep going. I know you can do it. I am very proud."

He's breaking my heart, I want my boy back.

Yeah get some sleep. I won't tell you you'll feel better in the morning because it may not be the case but when you're asleep aren't you at peace?
I always looked forward to sleeping because it was the time I could escape.
Nighty night

No, I probably won't feel better in the morning. I hate waking up. I haven't got anything to do tomorrow now my friend has cancelled on me so it's going to be a day of being paranoid. Might attempt some college work but doubt I'll get far as I don't have the self discipline. When I actually manage to sleep, I am sometimes at peace but it depends if I'm dreaming or not. I just have nightmares you see but they're a lot lot better since I came off my anti-deps.

How are you today? :hugs? xx

Believe me I know how that feels. Its always hard and you feel lonely, just don't let your loneliness turn into anger for people not talking to you. Thats what happened to me and its not the right way to go.
Best way is to get over that first contact hurdle and once you're talking to them its easier from then on.

I hate everything about me.

I'm going to go and watch some tv now. Anything to drown out the sexual noises coming from the upstairs flat. Not fair dammit, I have to get up for work in 6 hours. Assuming I actually get some sleep!

PinkSapphires, well done with your job interview. I will have my fingers crossed for you Don't be too disheartened if you don't get the job. There will be others Hope you had a nice bath.

@Blackfish: You're feeling bitter too huh? Do you also sometimes kinda like feeling bitter and other times it really gets you down? Because thats the case with me but then I'm generally two different people. Good side, bad side.

@Jonathan: I can relate to hating yourself. I can find maybe one thing good about myself? But I'm not even sure whether its really there.

@Pink_Sapphires: People are getting more and more informal and anti-social these days. All that matters to companies are profits. They don't care who you are as long as you produce profits. Thats the way of the world
But you shouldn't care about them either. If you get the job then thats fantastic and I'm sure the money will help. Try to enjoy it as much as possible.

Of course you do.
If I owned a company, I'd employ you.
You seem like a lovely person.