Depression Society MkII Watch

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hbandtr4eva
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#7661
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#7661
(Original post by jonathan122)
I don't understand how he can do this to you. It's inhuman.
Neither do I. It's not getting easier, I can't explain it, but it's pulling me apart. Everyone thinks I'm getting over him but I'm not. I don't want to.

(Original post by Divinitywolf)
Sadly if he really doesn't want a relationship then the only way forward is to let go. It gets easier as time moves on, as you'll realise you can live life without him, it just takes some getting used to. Think of the times you've been happy, loving him and feeling grateful to have known him.
Appreciate that you had the chance to know him and that so easily your life could've taken a different path with you two not meeting at all. Not very comforting but just realise that you will always have friends who'll help you through this.
I can't let go. I know that I can live my life without him, I've got through 3 of the hardest months of my life without him, but I don't want to have do it without him by my side. Knowing he's there somewhere and that I'm not allowed to love him breaks my heart. I can't stop wishing things were different. I'm a complete wreck.

(Original post by death.drop)
hbandtr4eva - you can't wait forever for something that might happen, you need to live your life.
You're so lucky that this guy broke up with you in such a kind way and that he's still being a good friend to you. Just be glad that he's not out of your life and you can still be close.
Being sentimental and saying I love you to him is not going to bring you closer, and it's probably making things quite awkward for him at the moment. If he feels one day that he wants you back I'm sure he'll tell you, until then try to treat him like a friend. I know how hard it is to resist the urge to say what you're feeling but the longer you go without saying it the easier it is.
If you're anything like me you feel your heart breaking all over again when the text back doesn't finish with 'I love you too', which makes things so much harder to move on from. so really, try to stop it. even if you just cut out those words.
He didn't break up with me in a kind way. He came home for Christmas two days after I did, and after texting me and ringing me on the way home saying how much he couldn't wait to see me, he rang me three hours later telling me he "couldn't do this any more". We aren't good friends, I don't talk to him and he doesn't talk to me. I can't treat him like a friend because he's not my friend, friends don't do this to each other. I can't just turn off the way I feel about him. I can't do it and I won't. He's the one person that knows me the best; the one that was there through all the **** times and he's the one person who I believed when he said that he would always be there. I will never be able to explain how much he means to me, but knowing that I never get to be with him again breaks my heart.
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vapid slut magician
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(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
haha, guess it was the username. sorry. well i'm pretty much the same these days.
i've always been like this. ive pretty much never had a boyfriend
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Pocket Calculator
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(Original post by vapid slut magician)
i've always been like this. ive pretty much never had a boyfriend
aww :hugs:

makes you wonder whether chronic relationship-wise crаpnеss is a contributor to depression or a product of it. bit of both, probably.
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*pink_sapphires*
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:bawling: I don't know what I'm doing anymore or who I am. Everything gets to me. I feel so alone and it's horrible. I want this job because I have to have money to live. But I don't really want to live because I don't see the point in it and I have nothing to live for.

I'm considering going down to Canterbury on Thursday and Friday to see some people from uni. Only really want to go for one person and I bet he doesn't even reply to my message. Just messaged Gavin aswell asking him what he wants for his birthday. I feel like such an idiot. I don't care what he wants to be honest because he's treating me like ****. I just feel so lonely and horrible and eurgh :bawling:
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Pocket Calculator
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(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
:bawling: I don't know what I'm doing anymore or who I am. Everything gets to me. I feel so alone and it's horrible. I want this job because I have to have money to live. But I don't really want to live because I don't see the point in it and I have nothing to live for.
hang in there
i'm the same right now
another panic attack. locked myself in my room, just want to cry. ive messed up every single aspect of my life.
just need someone to calm me down, just want a ******* hug.
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jonathan122
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(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
hang in there
i'm the same right now
another panic attack. locked myself in my room, just want to cry. ive messed up every single aspect of my life.
just need someone to calm me down, just want a ******* hug.
:hugs:
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death.drop
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(Original post by hbandtr4eva)
He didn't break up with me in a kind way. He came home for Christmas two days after I did, and after texting me and ringing me on the way home saying how much he couldn't wait to see me, he rang me three hours later telling me he "couldn't do this any more".
trust me, although it may feel like **** right now that is a kind way to break up with you. there's no I hate you, no cheating on you, no telling you how worthless you are, you haven't been forced to see him happy with a new partner, etc etc. As far as breakups go that's one you can look back on and be glad he treated you with respect.

We aren't good friends, I don't talk to him and he doesn't talk to me.
from what you've said in this thread it does sound like you have the occasional text/email. he tells you he's proud of you, he obviously knows you're improving these days. that's pretty friendly for an ex, don't you think? tough as it is, try to look on the bright side here.

I can't just turn off the way I feel about him. I can't do it and I won't.
if you're going to carry on with the attitude that you won't even try to get over him it's not going to happen. Nobody's asking you to turn off the way you feel, but trying not to think about it might help you.

He's the one person that knows me the best; the one that was there through all the **** times and he's the one person who I believed when he said that he would always be there.
tbh it seems like he is still trying to be there for you, just in a different way. just like he's still the person who knows you best and the one who was there through all the ****, your relationship is just different now.

I will never be able to explain how much he means to me, but knowing that I never get to be with him again breaks my heart.
You're not the first person to be in this situation. I'm sure a lot of people on here (myself included) understand how you feel, but the truth of it is that the vast majority of the time people find their way back from this stuff and are happy again. If you don't let yourself it wont happen, and then you end up in the minority that find themselves consumed by it, is that really where you want to be?

try to believe that things will improve, look forwards instead of back. you'll feel better for it.

Oh, and if someone had said any of that to me after joe broke up with me I'd have thought they were a moron who couldn't possibly understand how I felt, so I don't blame you if you think that about me right now.
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blackfish
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I've had a reasonable train journey back to my flat so far, up until I got ID'd to buy a cup of tea! Grrr, Not the words BlackFish wanted to hear, give me the tea now dammit!

(Original post by *Pink_Sapphires*)
I don't know what I'm doing anymore or who I am. Everything gets to me. I feel so alone and it's horrible. I want this job because I have to have money to live. But I don't really want to live because I don't see the point in it and I have nothing to live for.
I can relate to that. I applied for a Job as a Senior Network Engineer for the NHS, I so wanted the job because it was doing everything that I love and was trained for. I didn't take the offer, looking back, i'm glad I didn't because I was in no way ready for a full time job and would have ended up having another nervous breakdown. Sometimes you have to wait for the right job to come along. If you like the idea of driving, have you ever thought of being a cabbie or chauffeur?

I'm feeling pretty rubbish again, My medical problem has got considerably worse and I can't stop going to the flaming toilet :mad: Really annoying.

I've got an interview at the Job Centre for my sickness and disability benefits, they like to discuss my mental health in detail, BlackFish frowns on such conversations and refuses to discuss. Which incidentally annoys them! They don't like BlackFish's need to go to the toilet mid meeting either. Backstabbing gits!
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*pink_sapphires*
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ARGH!!!!!!!!!! what a **** day! My brother beat me up and then I dropped my phone and all the crystals broke so I now need to buy a new one but I can't afford it :bawling:

On the plus side, Gav rang me which was nice. But that was before i dropped my flaming phone. :bawling:
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blackfish
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(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
ARGH!!!!!!!!!! what a **** day! My brother beat me up and then I dropped my phone and all the crystals broke so I now need to buy a new one but I can't afford it :bawling:

On the plus side, Gav rang me which was nice. But that was before i dropped my flaming phone. :bawling:
:hugs:

Maybe invest in a dirt cheap mobile phone just to see you through until you can get a new one. If you have insurance you might be covered for accidental damage!

As for your brother, I have a sister that does the same, she did it to me earlier today because I shut the computer down. I didn't know she wanted to use it...! Looked like she had finished playing s**ty internet games...!
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Pocket Calculator
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been close to tears all day. pretty sure that girl's lost all interest in me. was almost the only thing keeping my spirits up the last month.
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*pink_sapphires*
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I Got The Job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :d :d :d :d :d
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death.drop
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(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
I Got The Job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :d :d :d :d :d
aw, congratulations!
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jonathan122
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(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
I Got The Job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :d :d :d :d :d
:hugs:
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*pink_sapphires*
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#7675
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Thanks guys I'm really pleased. I didn't think I'd get it at all :o:
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Divinitywolf
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(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
I Got The Job!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :d :d :d :d :d
Congratulations. I'm really happy for you =)
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*pink_sapphires*
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Funny how things can change in such a short space of time...feel **** now
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Divinitywolf
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(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
Funny how things can change in such a short space of time...feel **** now
aww whats wrong?
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*pink_sapphires*
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(Original post by Divinitywolf)
aww whats wrong?
I dunno. I'm a bit scared about starting work and I'm worried about my family. My shoulder hurts after my brother beat me up and I'm trying to make gavin's birthday card but it's so hard to do because i've got this design in my head and if it's not perfect, i won't want to send it
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Divinitywolf
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(Original post by *pink_sapphires*)
I dunno. I'm a bit scared about starting work and I'm worried about my family. My shoulder hurts after my brother beat me up and I'm trying to make gavin's birthday card but it's so hard to do because i've got this design in my head and if it's not perfect, i won't want to send it
Its natural to feel nervous about starting work, I would.
Why are you worried about your family? Through worrying, you're proving to yourself that you care about them which can never be a bad thing.
As for the birthday card, he'll know its the thought that counts. It doesn't have to be perfect.
But hey... on the bright side, you're not keeping it all inside. Thats great because it means people can help you feel better =)
I really should practice what I preach but I prefer to keep things inside.
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