Depression Society MkII Watch

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jonathan122
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#7761
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#7761
:cry:

I want my friends back.
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Pocket Calculator
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#7762
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#7762
(Original post by Dadeling)
Does anyone thing you can be so used to not feeling anything or being unhappy that you try and covering it up by appearing happy on the outside?
definitely. none of my friends know that i have this, although a few of my closest friends suspect it occasionally. i'd feel like such an attention seeker if i actually admitted i had depression though. consequently, i hide it.
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kiss_me_now9
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#7763
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#7763
Sorry I haven't been around much. After leaving uni, I felt great - like a weight had been lifted. Seems it was just a honeymoon period though.

Everything my Mum warned me about is coming true, the not having anything to do, the lack of friends back home, the fact that my life is now WORK til I die. It scares me that all I have to look forward to now is when I can retire. I don't know how to meet new people my age, when I go out with my mates when they're home we stick to our little group and don't talk to new people, when I was down at Kent you'd meet two or three new people each night and chat to them etc. I can't find a job because everyone who's applying to the jobs I'm applying for are older, more experienced and far more deserving of a job than me. I sleep from 3am to 1pm everyday. When I get up I come on the computer, make some lunch and watch TV. Then I watch some more TV, have tea, watch more TV and surf the net again, then I eventually go to bed. My life has no meaning, no worth, it's pointless and it's pissing me off right now.

I don't know what to do. My Mum is badgering me to get volunteer work and to join my local SJA group but tbh I'm scared ******** of meeting new people at the minute, the thought of going into a shop, asking if they need help and being told yes makes me feel sick. I don't want to join SJA because again, new people. And I'll be all on my todd. What if they're all horrible?

Just don't see the point anymore.
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Dadeling
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#7764
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#7764
(Original post by Bangers+Mash)
haha she sounds great.

Also...Keele eh?
I have Keele down as my insurance for next year :woo:
Keele's lovely, I just ended up in an all girl block and one of the girls seems hell bent on making my life even more of a misery! What are you planning to study? Whats your firm choice?

(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
Sorry I haven't been around much. After leaving uni, I felt great - like a weight had been lifted. Seems it was just a honeymoon period though.

Everything my Mum warned me about is coming true, the not having anything to do, the lack of friends back home, the fact that my life is now WORK til I die. It scares me that all I have to look forward to now is when I can retire. I don't know how to meet new people my age, when I go out with my mates when they're home we stick to our little group and don't talk to new people, when I was down at Kent you'd meet two or three new people each night and chat to them etc. I can't find a job because everyone who's applying to the jobs I'm applying for are older, more experienced and far more deserving of a job than me. I sleep from 3am to 1pm everyday. When I get up I come on the computer, make some lunch and watch TV. Then I watch some more TV, have tea, watch more TV and surf the net again, then I eventually go to bed. My life has no meaning, no worth, it's pointless and it's pissing me off right now.

I don't know what to do. My Mum is badgering me to get volunteer work and to join my local SJA group but tbh I'm scared ******** of meeting new people at the minute, the thought of going into a shop, asking if they need help and being told yes makes me feel sick. I don't want to join SJA because again, new people. And I'll be all on my todd. What if they're all horrible?

Just don't see the point anymore.
Sounds like you're having a tough time :console:
Have you thought about join a group/society type thing where you can meet people with a similar interest or perhaps taking up an evening class? That way you know you'll have something to talk about with the new people you meet and i'm sure not all of them will be horrible. :redface:
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Pocket Calculator
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#7765
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#7765
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)
I don't know what to do. My Mum is badgering me to get volunteer work and to join my local SJA group but tbh I'm scared ******** of meeting new people at the minute, the thought of going into a shop, asking if they need help and being told yes makes me feel sick. I don't want to join SJA because again, new people. And I'll be all on my todd. What if they're all horrible?
you should strive to go out and meet new people. what if they're all nice? it's just as likely at least! making a new friendship group will give you a massive confidence boost.
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vapid slut magician
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#7766
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#7766
(Original post by kiss_me_now9)

I don't know what to do. My Mum is badgering me to get volunteer work and to join my local SJA group but tbh I'm scared ******** of meeting new people at the minute, the thought of going into a shop, asking if they need help and being told yes makes me feel sick. I don't want to join SJA because again, new people. And I'll be all on my todd. What if they're all horrible?

Just don't see the point anymore.
Well I'm sure you can get a job of some description, somewhere. Just go round all the local shops and see if they're hiring- would just take a boring afternoon.

Also, do you play any sport? You should look for local clubs (there are always netball/hockey/yoga groups about); people who play sport are generally pretty fun and friendly and are always pleased when new people turn up. Would give you somewhere to go in the evenings.

If you like any animals then volunteering at an animal shelter (they might even have paid jobs available) is a great thing to do with your time because it's so therapeutic. I used to work with cats during my finals at uni just to keep me sane- I just spent 5 hours on a Sunday cuddling the cats, grooming and feeding them, and cleaning out some litter trays.
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FizzBitch
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#7767
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#7767
(Original post by Dadeling)
I started my citalopram today and it made me feel so sick :cry:
I talked to one of my friends about it today and i think she found it kind of confusing cause she said she thought i was happy. Does anyone thing you can be so used to not feeling anything or being unhappy that you try and covering it up by appearing happy on the outside?
I rather like this place, i may stay for a while :grouphugs:
:hugs:The side effects should go away in a week or so. I hope citalopram works for you

The few who I have told have been really surprised about my depression, especially a couple of my teachers, who both said "if it's any consolation I would never have guessed there is anything wrong" and that I'm coping with it really well. Tbh I think I am just an expert in pretending I'm okay - I've had a lot of practise at it. Pretending that I'm okay is the only thing that keeps me going really, if I didn't do that I think I'd constantly be going through emotional breakdowns. Appearing okay is the only way I can get on with everyday things like college etc.
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Not Invented Yet
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#7768
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#7768
I'm stupidly worked up at the moment. My hair is really greasy but I'm too scared to go and have a shower because I always think someone's going to sneak in to my house and kill me or something while I'm in there... it's so stupid. Even if I go around locking all the doors before I get into the shower, I still think that someone was hiding inside the house and I've just locked myself in with them. Ugh.
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Pocket Calculator
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#7769
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#7769
(Original post by vapid slut magician)
If you like any animals then volunteering at an animal shelter (they might even have paid jobs available) is a great thing to do with your time because it's so therapeutic. I used to work with cats during my finals at uni just to keep me sane- I just spent 5 hours on a Sunday cuddling the cats, grooming and feeding them, and cleaning out some litter trays.
i would actually love that job. man, i love cats.
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becki08
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#7770
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#7770
(Original post by Pocket Calculator)
Don't say that. What are you doing over the Easter holiday? Going home? or was it you that's living at home already? (sorry, I don't remember if it was you or not ) Will a break from uni work be a good thing?
Sorry about yesterday. Was in a right state but my psychologist helped a lot. I'm going home over Easter. Don't have anything planned really - just going to try and relax, I need a break!
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death.drop
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#7771
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yesterday I got changed in front of a mate of mine, he asked me what all the marks on my torso were. I just said 'hang on, i have to pee' and went up to the bathroom to calm down for quite some time.
I hate it when people ask me questions like that, I know to them they're perfectly innocent but how do you reply when the answer is that people dripped hot oil on you?

I feel out of order even writing this in this thread as it's not really a depression issue. actually most of my things aren't depression issues and I feel out of place to put them here.
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becki08
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#7772
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(Original post by death.drop)
yesterday I got changed in front of a mate of mine, he asked me what all the marks on my torso were. I just said 'hang on, i have to pee' and went up to the bathroom to calm down for quite some time.
I hate it when people ask me questions like that, I know to them they're perfectly innocent but how do you reply when the answer is that people dripped hot oil on you?

I feel out of order even writing this in this thread as it's not really a depression issue. actually most of my things aren't depression issues and I feel out of place to put them here.
:hugs: It's ok to write that here hun but I know what you mean. I also feel like most things I can't say here because they're related to my past and not necessarily depression issues. But the thing is, they still affect you so it's ok to ask for support. If you do ever want to talk about anything, whatever it is, feel free to PM me if you don't want to write here :hugs:
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Dadeling
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#7773
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#7773
Things are weird at home, its like they know but they really don't. I'm just so used to hiding how I feel or rather lack of feeling. Maybe telling them was a bad idea, it feels like they don't think anything is wrong with me. I don't know what to do
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kiss_me_now9
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#7774
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#7774
Thanks guys :hugs: I felt like **** last night. Spent most of the day walking round in a bit of a daze - Had an even worse nightmare than before last night which doesn't help matters. Sigh.

One thing I forgot to mention is probably the biggest thing and what's playing on my mind the most. In October, my Dad will be moving out again, he's coming to the end of his post at this camp (he's in the RAF) and there is no chance at all that he'll be moved anywhere near here, near our family home that we've had for 11 years and near the town that I've grown up in. It's more than likely that he'll be sent up north, somewhere like Liverpool or Coventry but I heard him talking on the phone to his mate who's also in the same trade as him and who knows lots of people who've been sent out to Afghanistan. I can't take him going out there again; it was horrible the first time but I was still too young to really understand the gravity of it (I was 12, 13 and mortality hadn't hit yet). If he does stay in the UK then he's already told me that me and my Mum can't move with him because my mum would be out of a job and she won't look for a new one. On the one hand, I don't want to have to move to a new city again, try to make new friends and get a job in a city I don't know, but equally I can't cope with my Dad being away for months at a time again.
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Morzor
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#7775
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#7775
I am suffering from depression. Iv not been diagnosed, but its how i feel. I cant get by, i hate myself in so many ways because, its something i cant help, i just upset people with it, which is just adding to it.

Today, me and my girlfriend broke up. And its killing me. She wasnt happy with me, she was too afraid to admit it, but it was clear to see, she didnt enjoy it anymore. She didnt tell me, she always tells me what i want to hear. I love her to pieces and so for her sake had to call it off. We where both quite calm with eachother, although really upset. At first she didnt want to, i was tempted to give in and say ok, but shed be forever stuck with me being miserable. I convinced her she needed this to be happy, then left it up to her. After asking she said "i dont know" and burst out into tears. We both knew that was the end.

I want her back. Ill just want the one last person who was there for me back. All i have left worth keeping are things that remind me of her. I cant cope without her. Its not even been 12 hours and im having the dark thoughts she made go away. I dont think its worth carrying on without her.

I have no one left
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kiss_me_now9
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#7776
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#7776
Hey Morzor. :hugs: I'm sorry, I fail at all things love related. But just to let you know, we'll be here for you, whenever. Just to listen and provide a little support/advice.

It's always worth carrying on. :console:
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Morzor
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#7777
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#7777
Just seems im that bad the last person willing to help doesnt want to anymore. Of course there'll always be people willing to help, and i appreciate it, although at the same time i see it as collecting good karma (no offence, i do appreciate any help)

Its just, she was someone i knew cared about me, it genuinely made her happy seeing me happy. And it just went over night. She knows about my past, admittedly i was a bit depressive and paranoid (NOT about her cheating i do trust her with my life) over things in the relationship, but i thought she loved me enough to understand.

I dont know, i just regret making that call today... i would of been dying inside, but i would of had the one thing i wanted.
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Bangers+Mash
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#7778
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#7778
(Original post by Dadeling)
Keele's lovely, I just ended up in an all girl block and one of the girls seems hell bent on making my life even more of a misery! What are you planning to study? Whats your firm choice?
Bangor Psych. I want to move away from the Big city, so that is why I applied to Keele too!. I would have done Neuroscience at Keele aswell as psycholgoy.

she doesn't sound great :hugs:
how are you?

and everyone else :hugs:
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Tufts
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#7779
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#7779
(Original post by Dadeling)
I started my citalopram today and it made me feel so sick :cry:
When I was on it, it caused weight gain. Beware.

:hugs:
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death.drop
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#7780
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#7780
(Original post by Tufts)
When I was on it, it caused weight gain. Beware.

:hugs:
:ditto:

I've not been on it long but I'm asking to come off it in a couple of weeks as I'm eating like a pig and when I'm not eating I'm sleeping because I feel shattered.
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