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Can we get 3115 posts by Halloween 2015? watch

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    Q: Why did the man name his dogs Rolex and Timex?
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    A: Because they were watch dogs.
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    Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon? The food is great, but there's just no atmosphere.
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    Q: What animal should you never play cards with?
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    A: A cheetah.
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    I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was, she said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.
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    Q: What do you call a famous fish?
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    A: A star fish.
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    My New Years resolution is to stop leaving things so late.
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    For a bit of a break:

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    If you're struggling to think of what to get someone for Christmas. Get them a fridge and watch their face light up when they open it.
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    A Mexican magician tells the audience he is going to disappear on the count of 3. He says, “uno, dos..” and then POOF he disappeared without a tres...
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    People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
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    What's worse than being bitten by a shark?
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    Being bitten by a vampire shark
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    Today a girl said she recognized me from vegetarian club, but I'm sure I've never met herbivore.
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    I went to the doctor today and he told me I had type A blood but it was a type O.
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    What do you call two handbags running after each other?

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    A purse-uit
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    I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night. It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.
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    What's the advantage of living in Switzerland?

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    Well, the flag is a big plus.
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    A red and a blue ship have just collided in the Caribbean. Apparently the survivors are marooned.
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    Why did the gum cross the road?
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    Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot!
 
 
 
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Updated: November 19, 2015
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