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What the hell - suddenly a social outcast =/ Watch

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    Don't trust no one. It's a pretty simple rule. Also don't try and get too attached to friends that you make because you never know what they're going to do next.
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    (Original post by Cassandra_Z)
    You do know that you are agreeing with me and therefore stating a contradicting statement for your argument?

    You can try and insult me as much as you want, but you still have not given me any facts or statements in return. Using the method of trying to insult me to disguise the fact that you really don't have anything to back up your argument is petty and so I'll leave you be with your comments.

    Quoted by FINAL FANTASY:
    "There's no such thing as best friends and given the right incentive, anyone can turn against you or go behind your back."
    Where did I insult you? :confused:

    What I've said isn't written in stone, yes I said there's no such thing as best friends, but that's not said with 100% certainty, it's just uncommon for a person to entrust their whole life into another person's hands (without the intention of taking the friendship further). What's far more common on the other hand is that given the right incentive, anyone can turn against you or go behind your back.

    Even if I don't have any evidence for my claims does not automatically mean that yours are correct either. Facts in this case are meaningless.
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    [QUOTE=derp;28735978]That's disturbing[/QUO

    disturbing? seriously?
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    (Original post by AidyD)
    (original retard post by Final Fantasy saying something really retarded before trying to cover himself from being pointed out as a retard)

    Stop kissing ass and doing favours all the time, you're pretty much screaming to be used. There's no such thing as best friends and given the right incentive, anyone can turn against you or go behind your back. If you're feeling angry and betrayed, then good, at least you've now learned an important lesson... for your sake, I hope.

    I'm twisting things? Its patently obvious you are in a desperate bid to save your already small e-penis from shrinking ever further, alongside your retard thought process that is rivalled by any typical 12 year old.

    Like I said originally... I hope your under 20 so you can put this to being naive and your not just another internet retard.
    Hit a nerve have I? It's okay if you're a retard, it's a common thing. That post was intended for the OP to pull himself back together, so to speak, so that he isn't dependant on everyone else.

    Moron. :rolleyes:
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    Where did I insult you? :confused:

    What I've said isn't written in stone, yes I said there's no such thing as best friends, but that's not said with 100% certainty, it's just uncommon for a person to entrust their whole life into another person's hands (without the intention of taking the friendship further). What's far more common on the other hand is that given the right incentive, anyone can turn against you or go behind your back.

    Even if I don't have any evidence for my claims does not automatically mean that yours are correct either. Facts in this case are meaningless.
    0_0 Really? When you go off topic and go out of your way to say I'm "naive", "living in a bubble", I need to "try harder", "In your case, it's a temporary thing.".

    I shouldn't have to write it out for you. This should be a discussion where people can learn about others views and point out their arguments. Your calling others a "retard" and telling them to "learn how to read".

    I'm trying to understand where your coming from, I'm not trying to argue with you or call you unnecessary things.
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    (Original post by Cassandra_Z)
    0_0 Really? When you go off topic and go out of your way to say I'm "naive", "living in a bubble", I need to "try harder", "In your case, it's a temporary thing.".

    I shouldn't have to write it out for you. This should be a discussion where people can learn about others views and point out their arguments. Your calling others a "retard" and telling them to "learn how to read".

    I'm trying to understand where your coming from, I'm not trying to argue with you or call you unnecessary things.
    Oh, when I made the post, I saw yours and added it into the post. It was originally intended for the other person. I said in your case it's a temporary thing because you brought up the marriage analogy, that's what I was referring to (it's temporary because after being best friends, you end up as husband/wife).

    Eh, if it helps, you aren't naive nor living in a bubble. I didn't mean to offend you, I should have separated that post.

    What I'm calling others should be none of your concern (did you even see what he's calling me? Why are you only looking at it from one side?).
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    @Final Fantasy:
    Like you said in one of your first posts it's probably just because we have different definitions so let me clear up what my definition of a best friend it.

    My take on what a best friend (which can also be multiple people; which is normal from where I am from) is someone who goes out of their way to help you, take care of you, do whatever they can to help you when you are in need, and is someone you can tell everything to. Basically I think it's the same as a close friend.

    I wasn't always the nicest person in the past, if anything I was known to be a real big b*tch to everyone including my friends. But why I think there are "best friends" at any age is because I have quite a few people that would always give me rides when I needed one because they knew my car wasn't working at the time; or would pick me up from my apartment, bring to their house, and feed me because I couldn't do it since I felt like dying; even when I was acting stupid & crazy they would still be there after my little raging moments; etc, the list goes on. These are people that weren't trying to get with me or use me or even ask me for anything. There are alot of example of what my best friends have done for me to make me greatful for them.

    You probably have one, but just don't see it yet.
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    (Original post by Ammo)
    The more concise version!

    Problem: I'v been shelved for no reason
    Reaction: Wtf
    Feeling: Angry and hurt
    Needing: Help please
    Solution: Make new friends
    Reaction: Pretty immediate
    Feeling: improved
    Needing: better mates

    Best of luck.
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    Oh, when I made the post, I saw yours and added it into the post. It was originally intended for the other person. I said in your case it's a temporary thing because you brought up the marriage analogy, that's what I was referring to (it's temporary because after being best friends, you end up as husband/wife).

    Eh, if it helps, you aren't naive nor living in a bubble. I didn't mean to offend you, I should have separated that post.

    What I'm calling others should be none of your concern (did you even see what he's calling me? Why are you only looking at it from one side?).
    Yeah, I do give you that one. He definitely wasn't any better. Either way it's cool, I'm not butt hurt or anything. I just want to understand it better. I'm from the U.S. we don't exactly get exposed to how others see a "best friend", because here we use that word frequently and maybe even a little too much.
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    My advice is to let them do the chasing and make new friends, you soon find out who is a true friend and who was just an associate.

    Another peice of advice, never trust anybody 100%, most people will betray you.
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    (Original post by Ammo)
    Hi guys,

    I have to put this honestly the last 2 months have literally been the worst of my life. Im a final year uni student and I dont know why but suddenly ive become a social outcast.

    One of my closest mates who is on a forced gap year visited the uni 3 times so far without telling me. My so called best mate has suddenly spread a whole load of lies about me to my cousin and our joint mates back home which is causing them to lay into me. And out of 6 birthday parties for people who iv always considered really close friends I wasnt invited to 4 of them. To make it worse I didnt even find out they happened until the photo's went up on facebook. These are people who I have spent so much time with, bailed out of sticky situations by sending money or physically backing up in fight, over ran my phonebill by £100 when theyre on a downer just trying to keep them happy etc. To put it straight Iv been the best friend I can honestly be so I dont know why this is all suddenly happening. Once fair enough. But 4 out of 6 bloody hurts!!!

    I mean the latest one made me look like a complete idiot. One of my friends (who didnt brush me off on his bday smash up) was shocked when he found me in the library. He was like "how comes you aint in manchester for X's bday?"
    Me being told the party is on thursday just said "nah you've got the day wrong, its on thursday." Then as the day wore on I tried getting hold of different mates to chill but none of them were replying to my texts. Finally someone said "oh we're at X's bday thing." I asked what bday thing, and turns out theyd all gone out iceskating and for a meal etc. I was told not to worry because it was a small thing and that only a few people went and that thursday party is for everyone. Then of course the facebook pictures went up. A few people my ass!!! It was literally all of her friends except me. And for me to be texting half the people at the birthday and leaving facebook messages and statuses asking where everyone is hiding has made me look like a complete idiot.

    4 out of 6 bday's man. I mean on this most recent one Iv always been there for the girl. Iv sat for hours talking to her when she's down, kept em company, everything!!!!
    This seriously takes the piss and it hurts. I feel like billy no mates and honestly don't know why this is happening

    Help
    OP, this is highly suspicious. Find the few friends from that group that remain loyal to you and ask them to investigate discreetly on your behalf. This sudden outcast status is probably the result of malicious rumours. Did you make any enemies before you were suddenly shunned?
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    (Original post by Cassandra_Z)
    Yeah, I do give you that one. He definitely wasn't any better. Either way it's cool, I'm not butt hurt or anything. I just want to understand it better. I'm from the U.S. we don't exactly get exposed to how others see a "best friend", because here we use that word frequently and maybe even a little too much.
    There's all sorts of terms exchanged here, 'mate' 'best mate' 'colleague' 'friend' etc. some of them will probably sound weird to you unless you're used to it.
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    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    There's all sorts of terms exchanged here, 'mate' 'best mate' 'colleague' 'friend' etc. some of them will probably sound weird to you unless you're used to it.
    Yeah :/.. I read a post the other day that had "mate" all over it and had to read it multiple times since it was so confusing. Can the term mate also be used towards females? or is it just directed to males only?
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    (Original post by Steezy)
    I personally think there's someone that's spreading **** about me. There's this one guy I know doesn't like me, but he's the type of fake person that manipulates people rather than saying what he feels. Life is like a game of chess to this guy and he's pretty good at it. I'm just leaving him to it. If people I've known for 10 years are swayed by someone's opinion, they deserve to be ignored. **** em.
    Absolutely spot on there. Everything is about how you initially come across. Indeed life is game, and you seem smart enough to know what move's to make next. You need to learn to be slightly more manipulative and calculating by the sounds of things because you're probably too honest for your own good mate, and not everyone else is like this I'm afraid.
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    I know what it's like to be in your place, OP. As awful a feeling as betrayal is, PLEASE do not let the shallow actions of other people let you lose focus. Your final year studies are far more important that some fair-weathered friends you met at uni! Trust me, some friends are just completely overrated. People come and go, I mean a best friend who you just couldn't imagine living without, only a year on from that, might not even be someone you say "hi" to in passing (true story actually). Just focus on getting a good uni grade, I beg you.

    If you really need an explanation, well the typical one is that they've been talking about you behind your back, and decided to cut you out... I mean why would you want to waste another thought on those people? Please do your best to move on!

    (Original post by Final Fantasy)
    There's all sorts of terms exchanged here, 'mate' 'best mate' 'colleague' 'friend' etc. some of them will
    probably sound weird to you unless you're used to it.
    Definitions are there to enhance communication. Your definition of a "best friend" (someone you trust your life with) is acting as a real barrier to communication because that's not how most other people view it. Really, based on just the words that make it up, a "best friend" should simply refer to the friend you are closest with. I suggest you revise your definition.

    Of course this is about a lot more than definitions- of course a bit of wariness and security needs to be exercised when dealing with other people, but you're taking it a bit far here.
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    (Original post by Lamps08)
    Absolutely spot on there. Everything is about how you initially come across. Indeed life is game, and you seem smart enough to know what move's to make next. You need to learn to be slightly more manipulative and calculating by the sounds of things because you're probably too honest for your own good mate, and not everyone else is like this I'm afraid.
    I'd rather be dead than manipulative. I'll continue being myself - honest, up front, real. People can recognise me for that or carry on in a fickle nature and I'll leave them to it. Life shouldn't be a game, but unfortunately some people see it that way. Not me
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    (Original post by Ammo)
    Hi guys,

    I have to put this honestly the last 2 months have literally been the worst of my life. Im a final year uni student and I dont know why but suddenly ive become a social outcast.

    One of my closest mates...
    I know the feelings OP. :closedeyes:

    They are not your friends. They seem to manipulate you.

    Dont even keep up the contact.

    My advice: stay away from them and if they dont contact you by themselves, they are not interested in you apart from getting favours they wont pay back.

    take that for all its worth. But I found much better people by staying away from old ¨best¨friends that exploited my hospitality every time for their own gain.

    :reaper:
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    (Original post by Steezy)
    I'd rather be dead than manipulative. I'll continue being myself - honest, up front, real. People can recognise me for that or carry on in a fickle nature and I'll leave them to it. Life shouldn't be a game, but unfortunately some people see it that way. Not me

    There's nothing wrong with being a bit manipulative, everyone does it, sometimes unconsciously. It's part of the spice of life and you'll feel good about it eventually.
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    (Original post by Glowy Amoeba)
    There's nothing wrong with being a bit manipulative, everyone does it, sometimes unconsciously. It's part of the spice of life and you'll feel good about it eventually.
    Well if I ever catch myself bullying others by turning their friends against them and making them miserable, for no reason at all... I'll remember bullying is just the spice of life
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    (Original post by Steezy)
    I'd rather be dead than manipulative. I'll continue being myself - honest, up front, real. People can recognise me for that or carry on in a fickle nature and I'll leave them to it. Life shouldn't be a game, but unfortunately some people see it that way. Not me

    Good luck then mate. There is a thing about being too honest though. Always look after No.1. Always be true to yourself innit, and **** anyone else who gets in the way.
 
 
 
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