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Never Had Sex Before - Please Help Watch

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    (Original post by Boobies.)
    Both of you are absolute pigs.
    Sex doesn't make a relationship, you don't have to have sex to have feelings for each other. She doesn't have to 'put out' to not be using him. God i feel sorry for any girls within a five mile radius of you. Both of you (especially Neil K) need to grow the **** up and mature a little before you post stuff like this.





    If you're not ready for sex, then don't have sex, really.
    Your guy sounds mature and serious about your relationship, If he's waited a year and a half then he's probably fine waiting a little more.
    If you want to have sex, do it, and it'll be fine, if not then don't.
    About him going slow.. He most likely will, because it sounds as if he respects you a lot, I doubt he'd ignore you. If he does get a little over excited though, give him a little nip where his thigh meets his pelvis. He'll get the message.
    xx


    You are a really nice girl i'm guessing that you are of the female species

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    The man's got patience, give him a break
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    I'm having a hard time believing the way you think too.



    Sex isn't essential in a relationship? Riiiiiight! Why bother being 'boyfriend and girlfriend' then? Why not just be platonic friends if you're not having sex?
    Lol even from my perspective as a horny male I can't agree with this... You really can't recognise the difference between platonic friendship and an intimate relationship that doesn't involve sex? When I was around OP's age I had a fairly long (for that age) relationship that didn't involve sex for quite some time, but I was certainly more than platonic friends with my girlfriend...
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    I disagree about the OP's friends being immature because they have casual sex. I wish girls would stop feeling so much sexual guilt, because that guilt is the product of centuries of christian influence and not linked to reality. I'm not saying you should sleep with the whole neighborhood and hook up with random strangers all the time, that would be just as tragic and unhealthy as forced abstinence. But since sex is a natural pleasure, and I'm sure your boyfriend is missing it bitterly, it would benefit the both of you to have it once in a while.
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    (Original post by JohnnytheFox)
    Seriously, just do it. Once you've tried it for the first time you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. You're still the same person after you've lost your virginity, it's not like anything changes (except maybe the state of your Hymen).
    Granted I'm a dude but the only thing that changed after my first time was that I spent the next day with a huge smile only dwarfed by my massive ego and the contentment of knowing I was no longer a virgin and as such regardless of what happened to me I wouldn't die with Virgin engraved into my tombstone.

    OP, if you think you're ready than just do it. Your boyfriend sounds like he cares (he has waited long enough) so at least you'll lose it to someone you care about/trust.

    As for your stage-fright if that is what you want to call it, allot of girls have it, but really there is nothing to be scared of whatsoever.

    At worst your first time is **** (it is hardly going to be the best sex you'll ever have) but at least you'll have a spring board and an experience to base future ones off of.

    The best case scenario is that it is a magical evening of romantic expression and you see God, I dunno.


    Basically you have nothing to lose but your virginity and since virginity is essentially a lack of something, the absence of a sex life or an important milestone in most people's life, it isn't really even something worth keeping.


    Best of luck OP, as usual the decision is ultimately yours. Do what you think is right for you.
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    (Original post by GeographyEllie)
    You are a really nice girl i'm guessing that you are of the female species

    Haha thankyou, yes i'm a girl haha x
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    You got yourself a keeper if he's ready to wait x
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    What I feel sorry for is guys like the OP's boyfriend, who waste a year and a half with a girl who they're not even having sex with. In fact, no, I don't even feel sorry for him because he must be a complete chump if he spent so long with a girl who didn't put out.

    I'd have been out of there after 3 dates maximum if a girl didn't have any interest in having sex with me. I wouldn't waste my time. If a girl isn't ready for sex, then I don't want her..
    You sound like a sex-obsessed arse. Relationships don't have to have sex in them to be relationships! People who kiss and hold hands and do everything except sex aren't platonic friends either! Who says she hasn't done things other than sex?
    I bet you're single, and if not I feel sorry for your girlfriend.
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    To all the idiots here who claim that if you dont have sex it is a platonic friendship.

    I agree with you that sex is an essential part of a relationship, but not of a relationship between teenagers. If both started dating and had had sex previously to that, yes i would find it odd if my gf/bf would tell me he/she isnt ready and wants to wait over a year.

    A 14 year old asking for this is not odd, it is pretty normal and actually more mature than just doing it to please the guy despite not feeling emotionally ready for sex. For teenage girls the idea of having sex is usually more scary than for teenage boys. Unfortunately many teenage boys are selfish and inconsiderate and pressure girls or persuade them to do things they actually do not want to do. Judging by the high teenage pregnancy rate in the uk it is fairly obvious that too many couples have irresponsible sex. So there is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until feeling mature enough.

    Now whoever that was that said the OP is simply having a platonic friendship. Erm, idk about you but i dont think she kisses her other friends and holds hands with them or feels the way about them she feels about her bf. She never meant she was NEVER going to have sex with him, that would be another issue. She is only 16, so she isnt late to the party. All of you who are trying to make her feel guilty are sad losers who i wish will never have a daughter.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay,

    SO me and my boyfriend have been going out for 1 and a half years now and we never had sex because I told him I wasn't ready and he said it's okay with him and that he'd wait for me.

    And I am wanting some good advice from you lot because my friends are seriously immature and they have had sex, heaven knows how many times, so they take it casually but I find it more important and I don't know what to do.

    Because I feel like I made him wait long enough, and what if he gets bored of me?

    Please help
    xx
    he seems like a really decent guy, being with you for 1.5 years without sex. I you don't feel like you're ready, then don't do it for the sake of it.
    If you feel that you're ready, talk to your boyfriend about it first.
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    (Original post by Boobies.)
    Haha thankyou, yes i'm a girl haha x
    yeah, i thought so!!! just didnt want to offend if you weren't
    I'm a ****!!
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    An interesting dilemma. I presume the boyfriend hasn't had sex either? He can't want it that much then, I find (And I know many others do too) that people want sex more after they have had it the first time. Before its just like they would like to try it, but after they actually want it properly.
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    (Original post by Boobies.)
    We are definitely not going to make any progress on this, our views are near enough polar opposites.
    In your defence, that's actually the most mature thing you've said in this whole thread.

    Or your way of admitting defeat to me. I don't know.

    Either way, our views are the antitheses of each other. So can I conclude that sex isn't important to you much?

    If that's the case, if you were my girlfriend, I doubt you would be for very long.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay,

    SO me and my boyfriend have been going out for 1 and a half years now and we never had sex because I told him I wasn't ready and he said it's okay with him and that he'd wait for me.

    And I am wanting some good advice from you lot because my friends are seriously immature and they have had sex, heaven knows how many times, so they take it casually but I find it more important and I don't know what to do.

    Because I feel like I made him wait long enough, and what if he gets bored of me?

    Please help
    xx
    **** your friends TBH

    Who cares what others have done, just do what you wanna do and what makes you happy... If you trust this guy though, what's the problem?
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    (Original post by Ebbson)
    Lol even from my perspective as a horny male I can't agree with this... You really can't recognise the difference between platonic friendship and an intimate relationship that doesn't involve sex? When I was around OP's age I had a fairly long (for that age) relationship that didn't involve sex, but I was certainly more than platonic friends with my girlfriend...
    I don't get how you can be 'boyfriend and girlfriend' if there isn't a sexual element to the relationship. Unless you are high-schoolers who hold hands and call yourselves 'boyfriend and girlfriend', though. I'm guessing the people who write this crap are very young/are virgins etc.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    'Going out' for 1 and a half years and no sex? Why???????? How old are you? Are you religious? Celibate? Got hang ups about sex?

    If there's no sex, it's just a platonic friendship. Seriously, 'going out' for one and a half years with no sex is just ****ing weird. You're either stringing the guy along and using him for favours etc, but not putting out....or you're just really really naive and young.

    Your 'boyfriend' (if you can call him that) is a chump for sticking around for 1.5 years with a girl who wouldn't give him sex. And you're just as bad.

    Might as well just be 'platonic friends' if you're not going to do anything sexually. Don't you get ANY sexual urges AT ALL??? Wtf????

    Sorry, but I've got to tell it like it is. Your situation is just plain ridiculous.

    My advice is to get over your hang-ups about sex and just ****ing do the deed!!!!! Or just break up with your 'boyfriend' and don't bother wasting each others' time.
    step 1 - dont listen to this guy. sex can be important, but friendship is also a colossal part of a relationship - how can two people possibly be together if they do not get along?
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    (Original post by Mutsu)
    You sound like a sex-obsessed arse.
    I like and enjoy sex like any normal, healthy human being should....and I like girls who think the same.

    (Original post by Mutsu)
    Relationships don't have to have sex in them to be relationships!
    Riiiiiiight. You go back to your 'asexual relationships' then, and I'll enjoy my sexual relationships. You're not a monk, a nun, or a Catholic priest by any chance, are you?

    (Original post by Mutsu)
    People who kiss and hold hands and do everything except sex aren't platonic friends either!
    Yeah, in high school...

    (Original post by Mutsu)
    I bet you're single, and if not I feel sorry for your girlfriend.
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/imag...ies/tongue.gif
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    (Original post by joebro)
    step 1 - dont listen to this guy. sex can be important, but friendship is also a colossal part of a relationship - how can two people possibly be together if they do not get along?
    I never said not to be friends in a relationship. I think it's good if you are friends with the person you're going out with. But never JUST FRIENDS. You need to be friends and lovers all in one, and without the sexual element you're not lovers but merely platonic friends.
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    I like and enjoy sex like any normal, healthy human being should....and I like girls who think the same.
    Riiiiiiight. You go back to your 'asexual relationships' then, and I'll enjoy my sexual relationships. You're not a monk, a nun, or a Catholic priest by any chance, are you?
    Yeah, in high school...
    http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/imag...ies/tongue.gif
    I'm not saying I don't enjoy sex, I'm not asexual, and I'm an atheist. My point is that this is a student forum, most of the people here are teenagers, and therefore don't always have sex during relationships - because they're not ready for it yet.
    Are you still saying that all of these teenagers are just in platonic relationships? Even if they do everything sexual except sex?
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    Yeah, in high school...
    Which the OP and her boyfriend are! So instead of missing the point completely and arguing, you could have offered your advice for this situation rather than an hypothetical one you seem to have invented....

    God knows what the poor girl's thinking, i'd just say if you already done whatever sexual stuff with him, actual intercourse isn't too much of further step, and i'm sure you'll enjoy it whenever you do decide to, given you're obviously in a wonderful caring relationship.
 
 
 
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