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Boyfriend has to see ex wife, should I be worried? Watch

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    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    Oh stop being so judgmental....I'm 17 not 12....we've both thought this through and the gap doesn't matter. I've always liked older men, age 30+, I don't like guys my age at all, n I think most girls are the same in that they prefer older men. So what if he's in his 40s...you can't help who you fall for. And no he didn't 'abuse his position of trust'....it was a mutual attraction and we got to know each other over a period of a few months. So you can just keep your opinions to yourself. Are you saying you've never fallen for an older man? Plus a lot of older men are gonna be divorced/have kids, its the way life goes dear.

    He does have kids, he's got a 19 yr old daughter and a son who's a few years older than her....not met them yet but they know about me and my bf says they were shocked at first but are now ok with it so guess I'll meet them in time....scary tho!

    At the end of the day, once you're 16 or over you can date who you want and I go for older men.
    This is just disgusting.

    You are obviously just some young naive girl that is on the rebound from this guys failed marriage. His kids are older than you for goodness sake, he has blatantly not told them about you for the sake of their minds.

    If you break up within the next month or so do not be surprised. He is just using you for sex, and if you can't see this you're even more naive than I first thought.

    Get out of that relationship.
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    How did your relationship even start??? :/
    Did you have a fling with him when he was still with his EX
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    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    Oh stop being so judgmental....I'm 17 not 12....we've both thought this through and the gap doesn't matter. I've always liked older men, age 30+, I don't like guys my age at all, n I think most girls are the same in that they prefer older men. So what if he's in his 40s...you can't help who you fall for. And no he didn't 'abuse his position of trust'....it was a mutual attraction and we got to know each other over a period of a few months. So you can just keep your opinions to yourself. Are you saying you've never fallen for an older man? Plus a lot of older men are gonna be divorced/have kids, its the way life goes dear.

    He does have kids, he's got a 19 yr old daughter and a son who's a few years older than her....not met them yet but they know about me and my bf says they were shocked at first but are now ok with it so guess I'll meet them in time....scary tho!

    At the end of the day, once you're 16 or over you can date who you want and I go for older men.
    Erm, no they don't. At least not guys older than their father....

    Also, I'm not normally one to judge but you're seeing a guy who's older than your dad who has a daughter who is older than you. Seems a LITTLE twisted to me...

    I think you may have Daddy issues dear... xx
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    OP,
    If you are a troll, well done.
    If you are genuinely serious, you need better people to guide you in life than people you will find on TSR, like a qualified psychiatrist.

    Then again, a man the best part of 50 who breaks the taboo of going out with a 17 year old probably won't mind breaking that taboo of shag**ng his ex wife.
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    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    I'm 17, bf is in his 40s. I fink his ex wife is about 39 or something, why?

    N I DO trust him, just feels weird that he's gonna be with another woman while I'm not there I guess. Been together about 6 weeks now, but known him for over 6 months as he was/is my driving instructor.
    Tbh, I was just browsing threads when I came across this post. I must admit that it made me ROFLMFAO.

    Allow me one SWAG.. Is this your first relationship?

    I now understand why your bf and his ex are no longer together, but I fail to understand why you two are together. If he has children they are probably your age.

    As far as worrying about him being with another woman….he has been…in fact he was doing her before you were born.

    This reminds me very much of 10 or 12 year old girls that have a tremendous emotional desire to have a baby even though they cannot possibly understand the implications.

    I don’t mean to sound harsh but you really do need someone to talk with that can give you some real life advice.

    I’m really don't see a happy ending here.


    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    Don't be so judgmental over the age gap. We got to fancy each other because we bonded during the driving lessons and our personalities just clicked.
    I swear that should I ever end up single again, I’m moving to the UK so I can become a driving instructor.
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    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    ... And no he didn't 'abuse his position of trust'....it was a mutual attraction and we got to know each other over a period of a few months. ...
    That doesn't mean he didn't abuse his position. A teacher could be attracted to a student for a couple of years before they took it any further and they'd still spend the next decade or so getting butt-raped in prison for being a nonce.

    I dunno if driving instructors are held to the same standard as teachers, but if they are and the police find out he is in a world of trouble.

    He does have kids, he's got a 19 yr old daughter and a son who's a few years older than her....not met them yet but they know about me and my bf says they were shocked at first but are now ok with it so guess I'll meet them in time....scary tho!

    At the end of the day, once you're 16 or over you can date who you want and I go for older men.
    So his kids are ok with their dad dating someone younger than them? I'm 22 and would hit either of my parents with a brick for screwing a 6th former.

    This guy is just getting out of an 18 year marriage. That's a hell of a long time to be with one person, despite not loving one another anymore he is still going to be absolutely crushed by this. I may be wrong (and if I am good luck to you I guess) but this seems like such an obvious attempt at rebounding with someone to prove to yourself that your not over the hill it's practically a cliché.

    You are a rebound to get his confidence back up before trying to meet someone more appropriate. If you're ok with that then enjoy your messed up romance, but if you think this guy is going to stay with you you are dreaming.
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    (Original post by aws)
    well, my point was, it is 100% legal for them to date/have sex

    so to answer your original q , "yes it is legal"

    but I am also interested in if her parents know (I doubt, I would laugh iif her parents were same age as him lol)
    Okay I'm not the OP and this thread is majorly p*issing me off. I'm 18. My boyfriend is 43. We are genuinely in love, things are good. Some people are too immature aat 17/18; some people aren't.

    And he's more insecure about me and other guys than I am about him and other women, despite the fact that he's basically just out of a relationship that lasted longer than I've been alive.

    Sometimes people fall in love because of personalities and having a good time together, rather than because it fits with social convention.

    And yes, my parents know, and have done from the beginning. It's fine.
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    Hah, oh dear. My parents would be PISSED if I came home with a 46 year old.

    And I'm 21. :lolwut:
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    (Original post by History-Student)
    So his kids are ok with their dad dating someone younger than them? I'm 22 and would hit either of my parents with a brick for screwing a 6th former.
    :rofl:

    Hey, this is my girlfriend, she's doing her AS levels.
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    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    He does have kids, he's got a 19 yr old daughter and a son who's a few years older than her....not met them yet but they know about me and my bf says they were shocked at first but are now ok with it so guess I'll meet them in time....scary tho!
    If my parents split up and then my dad started doing someone your age I think I would be sick! :puke:
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    (Original post by pippa90)
    If my parents split up and then my dad started doing someone your age I think I would be sick! :puke:
    exactly.

    OP we don't believe he has told them. Have you even spoken to them on the phone? ask him next time you want to at least talk to them
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    (Original post by DeputyDog)
    My mum knows, she was angry with me at first but has finally sort of accepted it cos I'm over 17n nearly 18 and she can see I'm happy, my dad doesn't know cos he doesn't meddle in my business so he only knows I've got a bf but knows nothing of the age and to be honest it's gonna be a while before they meet him anyway so it really doesn't matter. Yeh erm my bf is actually a couple of years older than my dad but as I said the age doesn't mean a thing.
    Wow I've just realised something. If you two have a child then it's dad will be older than it's grandad and it's half brother and sister will be older than it's mum. Sorry but that is messed up!
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    Guys, everybody stop criticising or trying to rescue her. There is nothing wrong with their relationship except a little insecurity, which is perfectly normal when you're not used to dating people with a history. Get over yourselves, people, she's going to be okay, and even if not she's old enough to make her own mistakes.

    OP, they need to meet up to sort out house stuff. I know it's hard but think of it as a good thing - after this is all sorted they'll never have to see each other again. It's okay to be a bit insecure sometimes but don't let it ruin a good relationship. Maybe tell him how you're feeling and talk about it. He'll understand.
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    (Original post by pippa90)
    Wow I've just realised something. If you two have a child then it's dad will be older than it's grandad and it's half brother and sister will be older than it's mum. Sorry but that is messed up!
    I know it's not the same but that comment made me think of this:

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    (Original post by History-Student)
    I know it's not the same but that comment made me think of this:

    Lmao that video confused me after a while!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Okay I'm not the OP and this thread is majorly p*issing me off. I'm 18. My boyfriend is 43. We are genuinely in love, things are good. Some people are too immature aat 17/18; some people aren't.

    And he's more insecure about me and other guys than I am about him and other women, despite the fact that he's basically just out of a relationship that lasted longer than I've been alive.

    Sometimes people fall in love because of personalities and having a good time together, rather than because it fits with social convention.

    And yes, my parents know, and have done from the beginning. It's fine.
    im 20 and i had a partner of 34 but things didnt work out not so much because of the 14year age gap but because of the fact that we both have children and his ex was being akward about the situation. yes people of 17/ 18 may be more mature but she has posted her problems on a forum!!! doesnt exactly seem like a mature response to the sitituation. if she was mature she would have talked to her partner baout how she was feeling not post them online for strangers to give them their opinions.
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    Grow up.
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    An ex wife or husband is not the same as an ex, there's a lot more history there in a lot of cases (not all) and definitely a lot more crap to sort out afterwards. You have to understand that he will have to see her after the divorce at times.
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    You should only be worried if you're miss anonymous in the "my boyfriend won't say he loves me" and "my boyfriend's gone of sex" threads.
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    (Original post by BoxesAndBangles)
    An ex wife or husband is not the same as an ex, there's a lot more history there in a lot of cases (not all) and definitely a lot more crap to sort out afterwards. You have to understand that he will have to see her after the divorce at times.
    you know, that completely slipped my mind.

    OP he has kids with her, so surely he is going to see her after this as well, so she is always going to be in his life

    What you get for having a grown-up relationship.
 
 
 
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