Hello,(Original post by tobiii)
You've described me exactly OP.
I'm starting university this september.
I am quite reserved and don't find the clubbing or drinking scene appealing which will be a slight issue since the uni i'm transferring to is VERY big on social life and that sort of environment.
Personally, I'd just prefer to go out with a small group of mates to a restaurant, cinema, the park, anything but the party scene-I felt so fake and awkward even when I went to a few clubs/parties a while ago with a few friends that I vowed never to put myself in that position again.
Highlight your interests and use them to meet others. I really do enjoy sports - netball, badminton (I even want to try squash!) and music-I'm a flutist, but I know that their socials are really heavy on drinking, which has made me a little hesitant to join. I love music, all types, which has really helped me to relate to very different types of people; some are a little taken back as to people I get along with.
To be totally honest, I've found it very difficult to have a good time as a non-drinker when everyone else is drinking merrily away. However, although I am quiet, I do have a sense of humor and often make witty remarks, which has really helped me to make friends outside of the drinking culture.
I've been doing a lot of reflecting and have learnt that internally, I am a strong person- I can stand my ground because I know the things I like and don't like, I know that my yes is 'yes' and my no is a firm 'no'. I know quite a number of medics on my course will the sporty, social types- fine, that's who they are. Doesn't stop me from saying hi, getting along with them etc.
At the end of the day, I am university because I love medicine, I want to be a doctor, I am greatly looking forward to the junior and specialty years and have decided to let nothing lower my self esteem or make me feel inferior during these 5/6 years.
OP, just be yourself. Do push yourself to talk to others- whether in the corridor, in anatomy classes, whatever- smile, remind yourself why you are here and be happy. I know cliques will exsist when I start this september, but there are so many non-medics to make friends with! Study, work hard of course, but once in a while, take a walk round the campus or into town. Go to the museum, look around- I like reading, taking in scenery and so the more I go out, the more I experience, the more people I see, the more I learn, and the more oppotunities available to make friends.
Hope this helps! x
Your post really helped me. I definitely need to stop being depressed all the time if I want to get through medical school so I'm not going to let anything make me feel down in second year. Like you, I also tried alcohol and clubbing but i found it very boring and i think people saw that because they kept asking me if i was okay. It just wasn't my thing. I'm going to try find friends through societies next year but I worry about whether I will be in touch with non medic friends after third year etc because of the increased work load etc. If you don't mind me asking, which year are you in and have you managed to stay in touch with non medic friends?
Hate uni....advice please? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 05-09-2011 13:35
(Original post by mv2010)
- 05-09-2011 13:41
Yeh I've realised now that finding the right group of friends is what i am having trouble with so i'm going to try a lot of societies and hopefully next year will be much better and if not, atleast i would have tried.
Well done for sticking out your first year. Friends are really important and it's understandable to feel down if you don't have that support network. If you make the effort to try out new societies you're bound to meet loads of new people next year. Think of it as a fresh start
- 05-09-2011 14:31
Wow, I'm glad I am not the only one.
I don't drink at all, I am the same, I find it dull and boring. It's not that I am boring, I just don't need drink for confidence, I am happy chatting to others in groups without the need to be silly with drink.
I am now heading into my third year and I am quite nervous. I really want to make friends but all people want to do is drink, and freshers week just involves drinking so I can't go and meet people in freshers.
I joined my current Uni in the second year. I get on with those in my class but they have all ready formed their groups and are really good friends.
I just want to meet people who will go cinema and that with me, and have a laugh.
But if you do not like the drinking, you're not the only one. There's going to be others like you and me I'm sure
- 09-09-2011 13:13
I'm glad my post helped a bit Sorry, I don't really know how to do the whole quoting thing here on tsr, but yes, i am friends with a lot of non-medics, i.e. friends from sixth form that have gone to do other courses at other unis, but they're not real friends, if you get my drift. I'm entering year 1 of medicine at leeds, you?