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anyone over 30 still a virgin? Watch

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    (Original post by imsobored.)
    That's a lie, you'd just get laughed at. Lets be real, teenagers aren't nice, even the TSR introverts are cruel :rolleyes:
    Hows about if she pretended to be upset? She could at least get a comfort hug?

    I'm not sure about most teenagers being un-nice(that's a word now..) , though I admit it does seem you get a fair few shallow and fake individuals, afraid to be who they really are because of peer pressure possibly...

    And hey I'm not cruel! I'm...urm.....in-between introvert and exovert, just a vert? Or bi-polar? I don't know...point is I don't see how anyone wouldn't use any excuse to have a hug, they're nice...
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    (Original post by Something_Ironic)
    If you are 30 or over, and on The Student Room, then there is a certain register you should be on...
    well tbh it was a long shot but i thought there are a few users who are mature students. plus some very active usuers like silverbolt are over 30 and not students. there is no age limit and no age limit on undergrad degree entrance either
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    As my age increases without any luck my standards slowly drop
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    (Original post by lukas1051)
    30? Jeeeeez... hope I never end up like that

    I'm 16, so I'm not that bothered, 30 though... wow. Tragic.
    LOL- I think 25 is the oldest before it gets really strange. Sex isn't even a big deal though imo, so I think it's a sad thread OP.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    same man..i'm 17 and havent even hugged anyone of the opposite sex..
    i dont have a da..no brother family or guys friends so i have NEVER huggend a guy..
    i'm actually considering askin someone.it's not like i'm asking for a kiss on the lips or sez..just HUG..
    Wait, srsly? How?
    I'm not particularly outgoing but I've had plenty of hugs, everyone gives hugs.

    Okay, go to a party and get drunk. Honestly 60% of my hugs are drunken and when you're drunk they don't stop at hugs
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    (Original post by Neil_K)
    Men, on the other hand, get better and more attractive to women with age and therefore we don't have this problem.
    A little tip for you, Neil. Men aren't suddenly more attractive to women when they're older because of their looks. Very few men look better with age when they're losing their hair and gaining their beer bellies. They're more attractive because of their MONEY and the security that brings.

    I found your post quite bitter to be honest as well as patronising and using sweeping generalisations as facts. There is a market for older women and plenty of websites cater for it. Behold the generation of cougars.
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    are they muslim?

    apparantly lisa kudrow (phoebe from friends) waited until she was in her 30s and married.

    i was mainly wondering if any older tsrians had done this.
    My aunt is Catholic but my uncle isn't religious. I think he just lacks confidence when it comes to women and has never bothered to get in a relationship. He seems to have a few issues in his life.
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    TSR is definitely a site to make guys like me feel good about themselves.
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    naw dude thats fine. i know some hot :eek: muscly dudes at my gym who are 22-24 and virgins. they are all muslim though.

    im catholic and gonna be in my late twenties next year, dont believe in sex before marriage but at the same time have never had a bf who respected my beliefs long eough to have a proepr relationship. most dudes just wanna sleep about and dont value God or marriage. but now im nearly late twenties, looks like i might never meet anyone better start f*king
    If your moral values come from Church (Catholic or not) then look for a man... at Church. Get involved in bible groups and such. Just makes logical sense to me...
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    (Original post by linguisticsforfun)
    If your moral values come from Church (Catholic or not) then look for a man... at Church. Get involved in bible groups and such. Just makes logical sense to me...
    catholic church is formed of the following groups:

    - over 60's for the OAP socials and those who want to be sure Fr Brian gives them a good send off,
    - married couples OR couples who want to marry in church
    - married folk with small kids who want to get them into catholic school, or who go to catholic school
    -smug catholic families
    -annual or bi-annual catholics who attend midnight mass once a year and/or easter

    i am the only single young person under 30 in my whole church, and i always turn up late and stand at the back by myself. nobody cares. only God cares. where is He??? why has he left His people by themselves? why am I the only person, by myself all the the time? I am grateful that God has shown His face to me but I wish I wasnt by myself all the time in walking in His ways. I went to the Catholic Youth event and it was a bunch of half naked giggling drunken not at all devout 18-30 year olds who were just there with their youth groups as some type of social. there were a couple of geeky looking Bible nerd types where you could see the radical serial killer introvertedness bursting to come out.

    (Original post by Yawn11)
    TSR is definitely a site to make guys like me feel good about themselves.
    great for you son. they make folks like me feel like ****.
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    great for you son. they make folks like me feel like ****.
    Well it was established a long time ago it's sucks to be you.
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    I understand people at 30 and worrying about still being a virgin but people who says that at 17-19 have got to stop worrying! You're still young ffs lol
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    Well it was established a long time ago it's sucks to be you.
    why???
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    (Original post by shinytoy)
    why???
    Honestly?! I really don't know where to begin.

    But so long as you're happy with life, it doesn't matter what others think. Good for you.
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      (Original post by shinytoy)
      but now im nearly late twenties, looks like i might never meet anyone better start f*king
      How you feel if you ****ed about and the next day you met a guy who didn't believe in sex before marriage and would not get into a relationship who wasn't a virgin?

      Imagine that guy was absolutely perfect for you, your "Mr Right", your dream man?

      And yet you have blown that chance because you thought "****ing about" is the solution?

      Think about that.
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      (Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom)
      I stopped attracting guys when I was 16 :emo:

      Jeez, my life must be flashing before my eyes
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      (Original post by FormerlyFrisbeeFan)
      This is a forum for students, who can be any age. If you want to only chat/argue with teenagers, find a forum that is specifically targeted at teenagers.
      I'm already in one. More than 75% of the users are young. You are old. But you can stay. With us. With me.
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      My 30 year old prokaryote friend is
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      (Original post by shinytoy)
      hey there, thanks for your reply! how old are you (if you dont ana say, what age range?)
      I've recently turned 30 (though, I'm not a virgin).

      (Original post by shinytoy)
      so the bit in bold, you think i should just be grateful to have sex with any dudes ?
      why should i allow myself to be treated like a sperm recepticle for a bunch of dudes who dont wanan marry me? i only need one husband! im not overly picky, but i havent come across any catholic dudes who wanan date me and respect my beliefs. its not to say im turning down nice honest guys left right and centre, all my bfs have cheated on me.
      If you're looking for a long-term relationship that will lead to marriage, then no you shouldn't just have sex with just anyone. You should find someone who wants the same thing as you. If casual sex is not your cup of tea, then don't do it.

      I never tell anyone to compromise their principles in the pursuit of sex. If marriage is your goal, then fine. If you prefer to have sex in the context of a marriage or a long-term relationship, then fine, but be honest with guys you meet about what you're looking for so you can find a guy who is on the same page as you.

      You simply need to meet a guy who shares your beliefs and has the same long-term goals as you (i.e. to get married). Don't settle for anyone who wants something different than what you're looking for.

      As for your previous bfs cheating on you, let me ask you something. Were you honest with them about your beliefs and attitudes towards sex? Did you tell them upfront BEFORE you started dating that you were looking for something that would lead to marriage? Did you tell them upfront that there would be no sex? Or did you just start dating them and then withheld sex, without being honest with them from the beginning that there would be no sex?

      Because if you didn't tell them upfront what you wanted, you can't blame them for being confused and then for straying off and cheating with someone else. I know cheating is wrong....but then if their needs weren't being met and they were expecting sex and then didn't get it from you, then you can't blame them for seeking it elsewhere. Though they should have had the decency to end the relationship with you instead of going off behind your back and cheating on you.

      Guys date women because they want to have sex with her. Sure, they might like her as a person too, but people date because of SEXUAL attraction and have a degree of interest in having sex with each other.

      (Original post by shinytoy)
      but for gals like me who have certain beliefs, are you really saying we shuld and sleep with guys in order that hopefully a few will have relationships and one might want to marry us or at least live together unmarried?
      No, if you sleep with a guy in the hope he will want a long-term relationship or marriage, and you are not honest about your intentions, then that is MANIPULATION.

      Anytime you have one set of desires, interests and intentions... but you give others the impression that you have a totally different set of desires, interests and intentions... you are being manipulative. The lesson I've learned? The more you try to manipulate others, the more you open yourself up to be manipulated.

      So by pretending you are happy dating and having sex with a guy, when in reality you don't believe in sex before marriage and are looking for marriage, then you are being dishonest and manipulative.

      Instead of doing that, you should simply be upfront and honest with every guy you meet and tell them right from the start what you're looking for and what your principles are. Tell them straight that you're catholic and you want to find a guy to marry. If they don't want the same thing as you, then cut them loose and move on to someone else until you find someone who wants the same as you. Don't waste your time on someone who has a different set of intentions than your own. You'll only end up bitter and angry and waste a lot of time when things don't pan out the way you hoped.

      (Original post by shinytoy)
      do you think girls who use their teens and twenties having differnet bfs, living together with one dude after another having one relationship after another or spending 5 years living with a guy they dont intend to marry are wasitng their time?
      Not necessarily. Sometimes people like to date because they enjoy being in a relationship and having a significant other, even if they don't intend to marry that person. You never know right away if you will end up marrying someone anyway....you have to get to know someone to see if you are compatible before you decide if they are the right person for you to marry, so I don't see it as a 'waste of time'. They might end up falling deeply in love with one of the guys who they initially thought they wouldn't marry; you just never know.

      Plus, it's good to date different people and get experience of dating before you settle down.

      (Original post by shinytoy)
      also do you thnk there is a difference between self respect and settling?
      I'm not sure I understand the question, can you elaborate more on what you mean? (Though I've probably explained how I feel in the next couple of answers....).

      (Original post by shinytoy)
      how would you feel knowing that your gf 'settled' for you since you were 'ok-ish' and she was runing out of years?
      I'd think she was with me for the wrong reasons if she chose me because of that.

      You know what, this scenario happens ALL THE TIME. See, when women get to a certain age, perhaps late 20s to early 30s, they will settle for a guy who can offer then security and a long-term future. And I think it's SAD when people settle for someone just because they are desperate and time is running out. Better to simply remain single instead of settling for the wrong person.

      When I was 25, I dated a 27 year old for a few months. She was a really sweet girl and we get on really well and had a great time for those few months, but one day we sat down and talked about the future of the relationship and she told me that she was looking for a long-term future because of her age etc. I totally respected her for telling me that, but I was not looking for marriage or a long-term monogamous relationship at the time, so I freed her up to look for a guy who could provide her with what she was looking for. She was a prime example of a woman in her late 20s who realises her biological clock is ticking and therefore she was more desperate to settle down with a guy who she could have a long-term future with.

      Ultimately, though, if you 'settle' for a guy who you're not deeply in love with but you're only with him because you're running out of years', you're going to feel unhappy and unfulfilled in some way with your relationship. Either that or you will eventually divorce, which will end up a mess.

      (Original post by shinytoy)
      wouldnt you prefer that she CHOSE you over her fun single life whch she could have happily continued, becasue she was crazy about you?
      Yes, I'd definitely prefer that she wanted to be with me because she liked me for me and was crazy about me, and not just because she 'settled for me'.

      (Original post by shinytoy)
      if i made a thread saying '25 and unmarried' people would say omg you have plenty of time, dont worry. but if i made a thread saying '25 and virgin' i would get loads of nasty comments. i dont get why it is bad, but i was hopign i wasnt the only one.
      You know what.....I'm going to go against the grain here. The whole concept of 'being a virgin' vs 'not being a virgin' is actually complete bull****. Who cares if somebody is a 'virgin' or 'not a virgin' etc? Seriously, people are only desperate to 'lose their virginity' by a certain age just because SOCIETY SAYS that they 'should'. But why should people do something just because 'society says'???

      The fact is.....'losing your virginity' doesn't make you a better person. Just because you've had sex with someone, or even a lot of people, doesn't mean you're 'better' than someone who hasn't.

      Seriously.....NOTHING CHANGES when you lose your virginity. You don't suddenly become happier. You don't suddenly have all the answers to life's problems. It just means you've had sex with someone. Big deal. Once you lose your virginity, you'll realise it's bull****.

      Seriously, don't base your happiness on whether you're a 'virgin' or not. That is nobody's business expect yours, and you should lose it when you want to.

      I think people define themselves too much by whether they've had sex or not. It's just sex, get over it. 'Virginity' is just a label, so **** anyone who tells you you're a lesser person just because you haven't had sex with someone. Do what YOU WANT, not what society expects.

      (Original post by shinytoy)
      do you tink i will find a husband when it is Gods will and i shoudl wait for that time?
      That's a very deep question. I'm not a religious person, I'm actually a deist....which means I believe in God (i.e. a higher power), but I do not believe in religion. I believe God and religion are 2 completely separate things. I believe God/the Higher Power is the source of everything in the universe. However I also believe religion is a MAN MADE concept, designed to control people by fear. I believe the concept of heaven and hell is MAN MADE and is used to control people by scaring them into believing that if they 'sin' then they are 'going to hell'.

      In actual fact, I believe the Higher Power does not get involved morally in our lives. I also believe the Higher Power does not intervene in human affairs in ways that contradict the laws of nature. We are human beings that have FREE WILL and our own REASONING in order to think for ourselves.

      I believe that the universe helps those who help themselves....so you have to actively put yourself out there and TAKE ACTION in order to achieve what you want in life. And when you do, all sorts of opportunities will crop up. This applies to dating and relationships as much as anything else in life. You can't expect to sit back and expect God to hand everything to you. Life doesn't work like that.

      There is an old joke about a guy who prays to God every day: 'Please God, I pray for a girlfriend'. After months and months of hearing the same prayer over and over, God eventually gets fed up and says to the man: 'Fine, you can have a girlfriend, but at least meet me halfway and ask somebody out!'.

      I hope you get the moral to this joke.

      I do think your view of the world, and of sex and relationships, has been coloured by your religious beliefs. One thing I hate about religion is that it tries to get us to associate guilt and shame with sex and especially with sex outside of marriage. Religion also tells us that sex outside of marriage is a 'sin'. I call BULLSH*T on this....sex is a NORMAL, HEALTHY HUMAN NEED. It's as natural as breathing, eating etc. I do not believe God wants people to associate guilt with sex, and I do not believe he judges us for it and I do not believe he thinks it is a 'sin'. As I've said, I do not believe God gets involved in the morla side of life at all.

      The idea of sex outside of marriage being a sin was created by RELIGION, in other words by PEOPLE. People wanted to control society, therefore created the idea of marriage in order to but a stop to promiscuity. And they told people they would 'go to hell' if they had sex outside of marriage. Unfortunately, people fell for this brainwashing, and that is why there is still a lot of guilt associated with sex today.

      God created us as SEXUAL BEINGS, so that we can ENJOY sex...without guilt etc. If you do your research, you'll find out that before religion was created by man, people were naturally NON-MONOGAMOUS and we enjoyed sex without shame or guilt because it is simply a normal human thing to do. Only since religion was invented by man did we start to associate guilt and shame with sex.

      If you don't believe in sex before marriage, though, then it's kind of pointless you dating someone who doesn't want marriage, because they will want sex from you and you won't be willing to give it to them, so I think you should only date guys who are looking for marriage.

      (Original post by shinytoy)
      also i only date guys aged 30+ since young guys wont respect my beliefs at all and dont care about marriage and babies. its not so much picky girls as non commited BOYS.
      Well, it does have to be said that in western culture, most men between the ages of 18 and 30 primarily have one objective when it comes to women, and that is CASUAL SEX. You can't really blame men for that, it's simply how we are wired....it's in our genes to want to have casual sex with a lot of women (pun very much intended!).

      But I'm over-generalising. There are men in this age group that want monogamous relationships and even marriage. You just have to find them. Many men do tend to 'settle down' a bit after 30 or so and look for a steady partner to be with, possibly leading to marriage. Though some men prefer not to get married and not to have monogamous relationships and that is fine too. There is no law that says a guy MUST be in a monogamous relationship or married.

      Really, you simply need to find a guy who has the same long-term interests and intentions as yourself (i.e. marriage), regardless of his age.

      Start putting yourself out there and meeting a lot of guys, and being dead honest with them RIGHT FROM THE START about what you're looking for, and then weed out the ones who don't want the same. You'll find someone who wants what you want eventually.
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      (Original post by lovely_me)
      I completely disagree with that. I'm sure you've heard the term '****' my friend.
      Only a very small percentage of older women can be considered '****s'....but the vast majority of older women, realistically, can not.

      Most men do not prefer older women. Most men prefer younger women.

      (Original post by lovely_me)
      Furthermore, as for the bolded part I think you're getting confused.
      No dear, I'm not getting confused, but you are. Allow me to explain....

      (Original post by lovely_me)
      By that logic, women would find sixty and seventy year old men attractive. However they don't.
      Some women do find 60 or 70 year old men attractive. There are many examples of 60+ year old men who still look great for their age....however there are very few 60+ year old women who still look good at that age.

      But you've missed the point. Women don't go for men who are good-looking, they go for men who are ATTRACTIVE. Big difference. I've gone into this point in many of my other replies on this forum, so look up my archives if you want a deeper explanation of this point.

      (Original post by lovely_me)
      The reason why women often go for old men is to put it bluntly, money not the man himself. A poor middle aged man has no chance with a young woman over his younger counterpart, mark my words m8. :rolleyes:
      Let me correct you on what you just said there. The reason MANIPULATIVE WOMEN go for 'old men' is for money, and other incentives.

      But NON-MANIPULATIVE WOMEN are a different story. Non-manipulative women like men for who they are.

      And I totally disagree that a 'poor, middle-aged man' has 'no chance with women over his younger counterpart'.

      A 'poor, middle-aged man' who is good with women will do far better with women than a younger counterpart who is bad with women, even a younger counterpart who has money.

      A 'poor, middle-aged man' who has confidence, charm, who knows the things that women universally respond to and who knows how to sexually satisfy women will do just fine with them.

      Most women prefer older men, because men tend to become more confident and more masculine with age, which is what women instinctively find attractive. No women wants a boy, they want a MAN.

      Any guy who has a lot of money and/or fame can get a lot of women....but it takes real talent for a guy who has neither wealth nor fame to be successful with women. A guy who uses his wealth and/or fame to attract women will attract women for the wrong reasons. He will attract a lot of manipulative women who are after his money or who are wanting to use him to help get career success etc. But the man who can attract women with his personality, confidence and charm, regardless of his age, will attract women for the right reasons. He will attract non-manipulative women.

      So money alone does not make a man ATTRACTIVE. A woman who goes after a rich guy is not attracted to HIM, she is only after his women.

      But a 'poor middle-aged' man who has an attractive personality etc can attract women who like him for HIM, regardless of how much money he has.
     
     
     
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