Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Asians, are you allowed to marry a girl/guy of your choice? Watch

    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by HumanNature1992)
    Are you hindu? :ninja:
    Sikh.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    For me it'll be important that she be muslim, but that's it really
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by effofex)
    In practise if you are South Asian and live outside South Asia you will most likely have colleagues and friends who are not of South Asian origin and will thus be exposed to their 'cultures' anyway, right?
    sorry I phrased that badly, I did rather mean ethnicities then cultures. So although these people have emigrated to here they would still rather stay in their own ethnic groups when it comes to the family line it seems..rather odd in a way you'd think if you'd prefer only those if your own ethnicity you'd stay in your nation of origin, if you go to a nation where you're a significant minority your children are likely to find partners of the major ethnic group, "white British". Though I guess Indians have another cultural issue, that whole "caste" system and staying inside that, I don't understand what it is myself, is it like social standing, as in middle class can't marry working class?
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sakujo)
    Not getting any of that Somali loving bro? :jiggy:
    :rofl:

    I don't personally know any Somali girls anyway

    My mum says that black and white people are completely out of the question... It's quite confusing that my parents state that they are strongly religious (which they are)... yet my mum openly says racist things and openly criticises/insults other Muslims and people and other un-Islamic stuff.

    She comes out with some craaazzzy rubbish sometimes... still love her with all my heart though
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    I thank my lucky stars for my Mums influence on my Dad! I was told that if I didn't find a partner myself I would be found one.

    edit: I am Bristish born Indian
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by effofex)
    So any one of these countries then?:

    * Afghanistan
    * Bahrain
    * Bangladesh
    * Bhutan
    * Brunei
    * Cambodia
    * China
    * East Timor
    * India
    * Indonesia
    * Iran
    * Iraq
    * Israel
    * Japan
    * Jordan
    * Kazakhstan
    * Korea North
    * Korea South
    * Kuwait
    * Kyrgyzstan
    * Laos
    * Lebanon
    * Malaysia
    * Maldives
    * Mongolia
    * Myanmar (Burma)
    * Nepal
    * Oman
    * Pakistan
    * The Philippines
    * Qatar
    * Russia
    * Saudi Arabia
    * Singapore
    * Sri Lanka
    * Syria
    * Taiwan
    * Tajikistan
    * Thailand
    * Turkey
    * Turkmenistan
    * United Arab Emirates
    * Uzbekistan
    * Vietnam
    * Yemen

    Or are there other (ahem) conditions?
    Thats right, PERSONALLY I don't mind what ethnicity or nationality she is but her being a Muslim is a MUST!
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by effofex)
    What if he doesn't have a caste, doesn't know what his caste is, is of multiple caste origin or simply lies to you about his caste? Caste is not quoted in any UK census and such details are not taken by any public body either so how could you verify it?
    I know, right?! She's so deluded!
    It's all about how it is back in PK and that's why some old people like her are still attached to this kind of thinking. It's like Prince William marrying a chav basically in her opinion. People should only marry into those with similar status etc. I told her to **** herself and that I'd marry a good muslim boy, whatever his caste shiz is
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    THIS, too right

    one mistake

    you said "some"

    It is "most"

    i am proof of it
    i dislike people with narrow minds strongly.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by sixthformer)
    why'd you do it
    i appreciate freedom to marry who you want
    but come on, why get immoral
    you were lucky to be brought up with good morals
    why throw it back at your parents face
    do they do it to harm you
    do you think you are the only intelligent girl
    that you and you alone know whats right and wrong
    that maybe, your parents may have experience and logical reasons to tell YOU why you should not

    listen, not ranting, just if you continue, go ahead, it is your choice, i won't judge you
    i just want you to, if it even lasts for 20 seconds, just think about why your parents may want you to wait for a stable marrige before engaging in such acts
    ty
    :lolwut: in most indian/pakistani marriages, the wedding night is where the woman is 'supposed' to lose their virginity, the the man.

    So stable marriage huh? What if the guy turns into a ******** and divorces the woman? Where'd the stable marriage go? the acts have already taken place?

    I don't understand what is so wrong with sex before marriage, provided that it's stated explicitly in your religion that you should not....
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    The next generation should hopefully not have this to deal with, as most of us here don't really care about race whatsoever. A friend of mine is getting married, but it was a love marriage to a Pakistani girl(from Pakistan). His dad is accustomed to British culture and his Mum unfortunately passed away, but she probably would have approved of the marriage.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    This thread is so sad
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by RoshniDiya)
    :confused:

    I know! You're saying this like i agree with or believe the stuff i've explained. I go to school with boys, i have a few friends who are boys, and no, there's nothing wrong with it. But i have to keep friendships like that a secret nonetheless, because of what i've said. Yes old women gossip! Tell me about it, and often their gossip is false, i wish you could tell the indian community around here that. I'm talking about bringing shame upon my IMMEDIATE family. For instance i'm always being told "What if [insert cousins family name] found out about this? Do you really want to dishonour this family like that?"

    Yes, but as i'm told, that's the problem of the girls family. My brother's still allowed to have sex and whatnot. I don't get what you're trying to say... do you believe i agree with these values and what goes on in this isolated community, or that i'm making it up? :confused:
    Lol - I'm aware that you probably don't agree with it at all. And as soon as you are in a financially independent position there is very little they can do. I don't understand why on earth you can't be friends with boys though - what if you have a common interest with them - e.g. a sport, computer game, music choice, holidays etc.? Or what if you need to work with them as part of a group project?

    How does it bring shame upon other family members though? I can't understand why they are responsible for your actions anyway. Surely the chances are that if [insert cousins family name] found out about your friendship (Oh MY GODZ!!!!!!) it would be glossed over since it is not exactly as shocking or newsworthy as say, the earthquake in Cumbria recently.

    Also, have your auntiyas not heard of gender equality?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Qaz25)
    :rofl:

    I don't personally know any Somali girls anyway

    My mum says that black and white people are completely out of the question... It's quite confusing that my parents state that they are strongly religious (which they are)... yet my mum openly says racist things and openly criticises/insults other Muslims and people and other un-Islamic stuff.

    She comes out with some craaazzzy rubbish sometimes... still love her with all my heart though
    Neither do I but we can still try :yeah:

    Yeah same situation as you, every black person is a jamica loool.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ?!master?!mini?!)
    :lolwut: in most indian/pakistani marriages, the wedding night is where the woman is 'supposed' to lose their virginity, the the man.

    So stable marriage huh? What if the guy turns into a ******** and divorces the woman? Where'd the stable marriage go? the acts have already taken place?

    I don't understand what is so wrong with sex before marriage, provided that it's stated explicitly in your religion that you should not....
    I wasn't sure if he was actually calling me immoral for giving head to my ex. This is exactly why people of my culture never move forward, because of dumbass dicks who think women should stay virgins until they're married. I agree with you. Firstly, just because you're not married doesn't mean you're not in a stable relationship, and secondly most Indian marriages consist of a faithful woman and a cheating, pathetic drunkard. Real stable, really something i want to wait for and look forward to. So those who continue to oppress women need to **** off back their holes.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Qaz25)
    :rofl:

    I don't personally know any Somali girls anyway

    My mum says that black and white people are completely out of the question... It's quite confusing that my parents state that they are strongly religious (which they are)... yet my mum openly says racist things and openly criticises/insults other Muslims and people and other un-Islamic stuff.

    She comes out with some craaazzzy rubbish sometimes... still love her with all my heart though
    I wasn't aware that the Prophet Muhammed advocated or condoned discrimination on the basis of race. Maybe you need to give your mummy a lecture?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sakujo)
    Neither do I but we can still try :yeah:

    Yeah same situation as you, every black person is a jamica loool.
    You should consider educating your parents on the diversity of African peoples.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Sakujo)
    Neither do I but we can still try :yeah:

    Yeah same situation as you, every black person is a jamica loool.
    :teehee: I don't wanna die :cry2:

    It's just the culture in India/Pakistan.... they're so racist against dark-skinned people... it's unbelievable. You see it in the fashion mags... all the girls will have make-up that makes them look whiter. Meh.

    Btw... you seen the Mr Khan Christmas one... that is super funny :rofl:

    @effofex - believe me... I have triiiiiedd so hard... it's difficult to change the 20 years of cultural conditioning that my mum had when she lived in Pakistan.
    Offline

    9
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by effofex)
    I wasn't aware that the Prophet Muhammed advocated or condoned discrimination on the basis of race. Maybe you need to give your mummy a lecture?
    Have you read the Quran?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    it depends on the family.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by effofex)
    I wasn't aware that the Prophet Muhammed advocated or condoned discrimination on the basis of race. Maybe you need to give your mummy a lecture?
    This is a very good point that's not brought up enough when discussing topics like this. Nowhere in the Qur'an I dont think does it say that you must be in a relationship with a person of your same caste or nationality. The only restriciton in the Qur'an is that you must marry somebody by the book - A Christian, Muslim or Jew.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: March 1, 2011
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What newspaper do you read/prefer?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.