Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joey11223)
    ah right sorry.

    What about cuddling? Hugging friends? That's rather platonic so I'd assume that sort of affection is possible, even if as an individual you're not the hugging type, it doesn't mean the root cause is the asexuality...if that makes sense?
    It's possible and completely unrelated to asexuality. I just don't like getting too close with many people, even very good friends.

    Cuddling with a partner would again be a sign of trust and love. Hugging a friend is like my describing life without a penis analogy at the beginning - hard to define because I don't do it, so I don't know what it would classify as.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JohnC2211)
    You can look up various studies showing the psychological part in 'attractiveness'. The bottom line is men and women will be most strongly attracted to those that they believe will pass on desirable traits to give their offspring the best chance at life. Think of it like selective breeding, but in humans. If choice were eliminated from the equation, most women would select the tall, muscular man who is financially sound. He has good genetics and will provide for their children. Look up any kind of dating FAQ or how-to in any womens or mens magazine and they will talk about confidence, walking upright etc.

    So we've found out what makes us attracted to certain people, so how does that work exactly? Well it's a nervous pathway. Our eyes (receptors) see the desirable trait that we like (wide hips for childbirth, for example) and relay that information to our brain, which secretes hormones/electrical impulses along neurones to the sexual glands. These impulses or hormones then provoke the release of sex hormones which give the feeling of arousal (boner/wetty).

    A slight genetic mutation can cause several things which impede this. Receptors and hormones are very specific, like enzymes. A lock and key, if you will. If there is even a slight change to the initial genetic code of the protein structure for the hormone receptor (as brought about by a genetic mutation) they wont fit, and the response wont occur (the release of the hormones provoking arousal).

    The above is simplified of course, because the real pathway would takes pages to write out.
    You're not by any chance a Wilsonian sociobiologist are you?
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by there's too much love)
    You're not by any chance a Wilsonian sociobiologist are you?

    Not at all. My biology knowledge is limited at best, I'll be the first to admit that. The stuff I've outlined may not me completely technically correct with regards to the biological processes, but it's 0237 hrs so cut me some slack, the general direction of everything is right.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    It's possible and completely unrelated to asexuality. I just don't like getting too close with many people, even very good friends.
    Would you shove them over if they tried? Because if so I'd be on the floor all the time..total clash of interests as I'm very affectionate including platonically. You'd be surprised how many males don't want proper hugs from other males...well you probably wouldn't be surprised tbh.., I blame the "no homo!" attitude maybe seem to have, fearing any friendliness would make them look homosexual.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JohnC2211)
    Not at all. My biology knowledge is limited at best, I'll be the first to admit that. The stuff I've outlined may not me completely technically correct with regards to the biological processes, but it's 0237 hrs so cut me some slack, the general direction of everything is right.
    It doesn't look correct in the slightest.
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joey11223)
    Would you shove them over if they tried? Because if so I'd be on the floor all the time..total clash of interests as I'm very affectionate including platonically. You'd be surprised how many males don't want proper hugs from other males...well you probably wouldn't be surprised tbh.., I blame the "no homo!" attitude maybe seem to have, fearing any friendliness would make them look homosexual.
    I'm in the mood for a massive cuddle right now now that you mention it...
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joey11223)
    Would you shove them over if they tried? Because if so I'd be on the floor all the time..total clash of interests as I'm very affectionate including platonically. You'd be surprised how many males don't want proper hugs from other males...well you probably wouldn't be surprised tbh.., I blame the "no homo!" attitude maybe seem to have, fearing any friendliness would make them look homosexual.
    No, I just tense up and make people feel guilty... If people get too close as well, I step back which usually reminds them, but if someone runs at and hugs me, I don't have time to.

    Not surprised, but sad. We don't all have to be physical people (incidentally, you equate friendliness with platonic physical affection?), but those that are shouldn't be put off of it by pressure.

    What would you do with a friend who didn't want you to touch or hug them? Because I'm guessing you do have some..?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by karateworm)
    I imagine it's like how you feel just after you've orgasmed, all the time.
    (That only works for guys...)
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by there's too much love)
    I'm in the mood for a massive cuddle right now now that you mention it...
    Oh my gosh let me just dial up the star...ooooh..yeah damn that USB stargate idea is only in my mind. C'mon smart people, it can't be that hard to make I saw it on TV!

    *cuddles...in spirit*
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joey11223)
    Oh my gosh let me just dial up the star...ooooh..yeah damn that USB stargate idea is only in my mind. C'mon smart people, it can't be that hard to make I saw it on TV!

    *cuddles...in spirit*
    We don't even know each other, gosh, you're so easy!
    I bet you cuddle loads of guys, whore!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by there's too much love)
    It doesn't look correct in the slightest.

    Eyes see -> Info goes to brain -> Brain sends out signal -> Hormones released -> Arousal.


    In order for arousal to occur the signal has to be received. Genetic mutations cause irregularities in the shape of receptors, causing them not to work. Ergo, no arousal. Therefore, asexuality can be due to a genetic mutation.


    Can also be due to psychological trauma and other reasons. It's obviously not fully understood yet.
    • #3
    #3

    It's a load bull ****.

    And honestly Rose, I've noticed you using the term more often recently. Just appears to me as attention seeking or rather trying fuffill this desire to be different from the a majority of people - actually almost every mammal.

    You think you're asexual (obviously lacking knowledge of it's definition and meaning).

    Good for you, we get it now.

    Ok, thanks, bye.

    /thread.
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    Why are people so curious about this? :lol:

    I don't personally see the point and get nothing from it, but lots of asexuals do. It's not lack of a sex drive necessarily, just lack of sexual attraction.
    But I geuess it's arguable that if they're attracted sexually to themselves but not others that they're autosexual :confused:
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheSownRose)
    No, I just tense up and make people feel guilty... If people get too close as well, I step back which usually reminds them, but if someone runs at and hugs me, I don't have time to.

    Not surprised, but sad. We don't all have to be physical people (incidentally, you equate friendliness with platonic physical affection?), but those that are shouldn't be put off of it by pressure.

    What would you do with a friend who didn't want you to touch or hug them? Because I'm guessing you do have some..?
    you edited your post didn't you...

    Sorry a bit confused with what you're asking when you question my linking with friendliness and platonic affection? Are you assuming I'm suggesting to be a friendly person you HAVE to hug people a lot? I don't mean that if that's what you think, but in some peoples minds I think friendly and affectionate can be interlinked as it seems my affectionate nature towards friends labels me as friendly when described by them.

    A friend who didn't want to hug me. In actual fact I don't have any male friends at the moment, which has been the case for the majority of my life anyway. Females are generally more affectionate and so there is no one in my current friendship group who wouldn't accept a hug from me. In six-form one girl was a bit weary of such things, I basically just didn't hug her...although sometimes my nature got the better of me and I did hug her as a greeting, just she wouldn't hug back, as you say you'd do she'd sort of stiffen up and cope with it, occasionally put her arms sort of around me but not really, very awkward for her. I tried not to, but I'm forgetful and my instinct is to hug people when meeting up with them. I obviously didn't hassle her about it though, not interrogating her as to why she doesn't like hugs.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by wtfCharlie)
    But I geuess it's arguable that if they're attracted sexually to themselves but not others that they're autosexual :confused:
    Could be wrong, but I don't think the majority of people that enjoy masturbating are doing it because they find themselves arousing...
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by there's too much love)
    We don't even know each other, gosh, you're so easy!
    I bet you cuddle loads of guys, whore!
    guys do not appreciate it and as said to sownrose I don't have close male friends at the moment..I wonder why. If liking to hug people makes me a whore then FINE!
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by naomidawn)
    (That only works for guys...)
    What, post-orgasm high?

    No, no, no, it's not
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by there's too much love)
    That still presupposes a binary sex distinction.
    Moreover it doesn't take into account attraction directed towards sensations or inanimate objects, or non-human beings, or attraction based on other things than sex yet still directed towards humans.

    The sliding scale you've provided so far has a few holes in it...:/
    Sorry missed this one. A good point..my scale has no room for fetishs/sexual paraphilia..my own scale doesn't work on myself...how foolish in hindsight.

    Fine...there is a scale and there is a wheel. The sliding scale decides your attraction to the sexes, so gay to bi to straight, and strongly you sit in which area.

    The wheel is then spun, it has thousands of possible results although "null" and quite common things are generally landed upon. However there is scope on the wheel for anything, you could land on attraction to people dressed as butterflies, or to rubbing animal excrement on yourself.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by joey11223)
    you edited your post didn't you...

    Sorry a bit confused with what you're asking when you question my linking with friendliness and platonic affection? Are you assuming I'm suggesting to be a friendly person you HAVE to hug people a lot? I don't mean that if that's what you think, but in some peoples minds I think friendly and affectionate can be interlinked as it seems my affectionate nature towards friends labels me as friendly when described by them.

    A friend who didn't want to hug me. In actual fact I don't have any male friends at the moment, which has been the case for the majority of my life anyway. Females are generally more affectionate and so there is no one in my current friendship group who wouldn't accept a hug from me. In six-form one girl was a bit weary of such things, I basically just didn't hug her...although sometimes my nature got the better of me and I did hug her as a greeting, just she wouldn't hug back, as you say you'd do she'd sort of stiffen up and cope with it, occasionally put her arms sort of around me but not really, very awkward for her. I tried not to, but I'm forgetful and my instinct is to hug people when meeting up with them. I obviously didn't hassle her about it though, not interrogating her as to why she doesn't like hugs.
    Not from that, I just added in the last question.

    Yeah, I did wonder if you meant they had to be together, but I see what you mean now.

    Glad you didn't interrogate. You tend to get people thinking you had an abusive childhood and so can't stand to be touched because of that. In some cases of abuse it does end with someone disliking touch, although I've seen just as many that end with people craving kind physical contact because they never got that. In my case, it probably comes down to my parents being the same - they tried to be huggy people, but just aren't ... so I picked that up. Again though, I know other people from a non-physical family that now want to be touched. We all react differently. :dontknow:

    You don't have to justify why you don't like people touching you, although there is more pressure for non-physical to become physical rather than the other way around - ever notice that?
    Offline

    5
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JohnC2211)
    You can look up various studies showing the psychological part in 'attractiveness'.1) The bottom line is men and women will be most strongly attracted to those that they believe will pass on desirable traits to give their offspring the best chance at life. Think of it like selective breeding, but in humans.2) If choice were eliminated from the equation, most women would select the tall, muscular man who is financially sound. 3)He has good genetics and will provide for their children. Look up any kind of dating FAQ or how-to in any womens or mens magazine and they will talk about confidence, walking upright etc.

    4)So we've found out what makes us attracted to certain people, so how does that work exactly? Well it's a nervous pathway. Our eyes (receptors) see the desirable trait that we like (wide hips for childbirth, for example) and relay that information to our brain, which secretes hormones/electrical impulses along neurones to the sexual glands. These impulses or hormones then provoke the release of sex hormones which give the feeling of arousal (boner/wetty).

    A slight genetic mutation can cause several things which impede this. Receptors and hormones are very specific, like enzymes. A lock and key, if you will. If there is even a slight change to the initial genetic code of the protein structure for the hormone receptor (as brought about by a genetic mutation) they wont fit, and the response wont occur (the release of the hormones provoking arousal).

    The above is simplified of course, because the real pathway would takes pages to write out.
    I've highlighted in bold, underlinning or both the main issues that you need to research more.

    The first highlighted bit is the assumption that attraction is based entirely, if at all, on it being about offspring.

    The second assumption is that we would know what would happen without 'choice'.

    The third assumption is that the genetic code that will be passed down is part of attraction.

    The fourth is that the basis of attraction can be universally applied to all humans/beings that feel attraction.

    There are other issues, but those assumptions are what you should start analysing.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 31, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.