(Original post by TotoMimo)
'Ello 'ello 'ello! Looks like you're committing a crime towards food and drink so heinous I'll have to nick ya!
This thread is devoted to those things that we believe are the absolute atrocities against food we've ever experienced/witnessed. Whether someone has a habit that ruins perfectly delicious foods in your eyes, or discards the best part of something, everyone has something they regard as a real Food Crime.
I'll get the ball rolling with a few examples.
CHUCKING AWAY THE ENDERS/HEELS/KNOBBIES OF A LOAF
These may well be the last pieces eaten in a loaf of bread, but to throw them away is a crime that cannot be tolerated. They are the absolute heroes when it comes to toast (topped or otherwise) and the only beast strong enough to actually be picked up
when topped with beans whilst other slices disintegrate, engulfed in the bean-juice of devastation.
PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA/GAMMON
A slightly more controversial addition for me to add, but this to me, is an absolute food crime. Pineapple is one of those fruits which is unarguably very sweet. It's not even like one of those fruits that has a muted flavour... it's sweet.
Sweet as a flavour is synonymous with dessert, and to me, a nice juicy gammon steak or cheesy pizza... well, that's just not a dessert. By being so sugary-sweet, the addition of pineapple overpowers the taste of the other ingredients entirely, even whilst cooked; and the mouthfeel of your tongue tearing apart hot pineapple... not cool, man. Not cool.
Jail time. No parole.
KETCHUP ON STEAK
Now, I'm not talking about having a little pot on the side as pictured above. I'm talking about something all the more atrocious.
I once went with my family for a meal at a nice restaurant; myself, mum, dad, sister, aunt, uncle, nieces and nephew. My uncle ordered a fairly expensive steak, and ordered it medium-rare. Nobody else had; he quite literally held up all of our other orders whilst his special sizzling platter arrived and everyone created a hubbub about how fancy it all was.
"Do you have ketchup, please?"
he asked. They brought him a little silver bowl with a spoon. "No, the bottle, do you have the bottle?"
They returned with the bottle of luminous red elixir and he proceeded to DOUSE
his steak, specifically, in ketchup. He started eating it, I almost couldn't SEE this gorgeous piece of premium-cut, perfectly cooked medium rare steak under a bloody blanket of the sweet condiment. My aunt laughed at him and jokingly asked "How does the steak taste?"
"A bit overcooked... I think".
"He thinks", because he doesn't know - the upmarket, expensive palate-tingling subtle sensations that only a medium-rare steak can provide have been wholeheartedly raped and reduced to the tastes of an eighty-pence McDonalds hamburger!
So name what you regard as your OWN Food Crimes