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marriage when young

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Shinytoy: I was wondering, what happens if you get married early, it doesn't work so well, so despite you trying to keep it together, your husband files for divorce? While you may believe marriage is for life, and he may too, what happens if when things turn and the marriage isn't working, he renegs on that and decides he wants a divorce?

Marriage when you've been dating a while is more stable, as you already know more about the other, you're more stable. Many relationships of a year or two still end, so getting married that quickly strikes me as a recipe for unhappiness. Getting married after a long, stable relationship show that the relationship is stable and can last.

shinytoy

Um... what? Care to state how you arrived at that figure?

Reply 61

Caribou

shinytoy

i think in the UK the average age of marriage is about 27 and the average divorce is about 40-50%. if 10% population goes in church and half of them are very religious, this means the chrisitan marriage is 2.5% at most likely to divorce. they do not have poblems with premaritial relations causing jealousy, nor adultery, nor pornography, nor ignoring the partner after an argument as they really value marriage and want it to work

Hmm.. you seem to be misinformed. average divorce rate is defo not that high.. and yes.. where did the 2.5% come from?? are we just guessing numbers now??

Reply 62

Drogue

shinytoy

i think its ok to marry out of randiness as long as you fully understand what you are consenting to.

Whatever happened marriage being a joining of souls, a bond between two people who love each other so much they wish to never be apart? Marriage out of a desire not to sin, or rather to have sex without sin, cheapens the act incredibly IMHO. It's like you're applying for a license from God to have sex, rather than celebrating the wonderful emotion between two people.

Talk about keeping to the letter, but not the spirit of the law.

Reply 63

Anonymous #4

Helenia

You've lived together for a short period, and have split within a 3 month relationship already? And you think you know you're ready for marriage?

Okay it doesnt sound so good when you've put it like that. But the circumstances were different. And we've been the bestest of friends since we were 5 or something

Reply 64

q1w2e3r4t5y

It's like you're applying for a license from God to have sex, rather than celebrating the wonderful emotion between two people.

Highly well put. :smile:

Reply 65

ChocolatePie

I don't believe in marriages at young ages! I think your not ready for it..
you have not much life expercience...al lot has to come on your path first (school/college/uni/work etc)..your just not in the phase of your life to go marry someone at that age!

Marriage is something to look forward too..so if it is indeed the right person it is worth the wait!

Reply 66

mistress mayhem

ChocolatePie

Marriage is something to look forward too..so if it is indeed the right person it is worth the wait!

fabulously put my dear

Reply 67

In Love

shinytoy

what do you think about marriage young?

for example a christian girl and guy are 16 and randy. they want to marry because they do not want to sin, 'it is better to marry than to burn with passion'

or a 15 year old girl in arranged marriage which she agrees to

or a 21 year old wanting to marry at the final year of uni

why is everyone waiting to marry so late in life?

getting married as a away to have sex without it being a sin is probably not a smart idea, becuase im sure the religion doesnt say that marriage is for having sex, its more of responsibility etc... and I doubt it will work because at 15 peopple are still learning ALOT about life. you may think that u r a grown up, but when u hit 18 you'll notice that you learnt alot more during those couple yrs, you'll grow up and you'll think differently.
The person you wanted when u r 15 may very well be different from the one you like when you're, say, 19. Those teenage years are surely confusing in terms of love, sex etc and i personally wouldnt take any of those first experience of love relationships (say 17 or younger) that seriously.
Maybe i am wrong and some people by 16 are extremely mature and responsible and could lead a family, but i havent seen any.

For a 21 who wants to marry after graduating, well, good for her :rolleyes:

Reply 68

minimo

Shinytoy, as someone so rightly stated MARRIAGE IS NOT A LICENCE FOR SEX. I'm putting this in bold because I want you to know that in the eyes of the Church, marrying solely because you are horny and can't control your primal urges is as wrong as having pre-marital sex. This is because you are, in effect abusing an institution which is very sacred in the eyes of God simply because you want a ****.

I have a question for you. If (God forbid) on the way home from your wedding party, your husband had a car accident that left him paralysed would you be mad because you were no going to get sex out of him that night (or maybe not ever) despite having waited all these years? Or would you continue to love him as much as ever without minding at all. Call me weird (I suppose I am in the minority seeing as I have no qualms about getting into a relationship with a wheelchair-bound guy) , but I can honestly say from the bottom of my heart that, if I marry someone, I'd fall into the second category. That's when you know you love someone ST and arn't marrying them for sex.

And FYI, I think that it's perfectly possible (if you want to) to keep sex out of relationship for 4-5 years. Love is about a heck of a lot more than two naked people on top of each other, you know.

Seriously, you need to have a long, hard think about your priorities, because, despite your best intentions I'm sure, not everything you say in keeping with Catholic doctrine. Being a good Catholic is about a lot more than fanatically adhering to a few moral teachings at the expense of the rest of Church teaching.

Non-Catholics on here like Drogue and Helenia have got a far better grasp of what it means to have a Christian marriage, shinytoy, than you do. I'm sorry. :frown:

Reply 69

bluedreamer

Tis none of my business if others chose to marry young.

However I doubt I’d want to, unless for financial reasons :biggrin:

Reply 70

completely random

Of course, its none of my business when people choose to marry, as long as they are doing it for the right reasons. I completely agree with the rebuttals of the argument that marriage is a licence for sex. My sister says she will not have sex before marriage but that is because she wants to have sex with her husband and no other man. I respect her view because her reasons are well-founded, despite it being something I don't subscribe to. However, I cannot respect the reasoning behind shinytoys belief, and would seriously question their judgment regarding this issue, as many others have already pointed out.

Personally, while I'm in a wonderful and stable relationship, marriage is not for me at the age of 21. I'm not financially stable, my career hasn't even started and there are so many things I want to do first. But other 21 year olds, whose circumstances and feelings are different, may feel the opposite and there is nothing wrong with that - just as long as they are marrying for sound reasons.

Reply 71

Talya

bluedreamer

However I doubt I’d want to, unless for financial reasons :biggrin:

Anyone know a person who got married just to make full use of the government grants for Uni? :biggrin:

Reply 72

bluedreamer

Talya

Anyone know a person who got married just to make full use of the government grants for Uni? :biggrin:

haha

not what I meant, but I think you know that :p:

Reply 73

randomuser#6

I'm 18 and going to get married! god willing. Known each other for 3 years :biggrin:

. As a muslim we don't believe in sex before marriage, and also I really love her, 3 years is quite long lol, plus I wouldn't get married if I wasn't in a financially stable position, but by the will of god, I am. So all the lights are showing green :biggrin:

. It's personal choice really.

Reply 74

Ili

getting married for me is purely horrifying. let alone marrying someone at such a young age like 16...ahhhhh!!!!
why do people want to marry so young?! why don't they see life to its fullest and enjoy it first?
being married to someone bares great responsibility and i, for one, don't think i'm ready for it just yet so i wouldn't want to marry young. as for those people who marry for financial reasons, i haven't known any therefore i have no comment on that hihih. :wink:

Reply 75

MissSmith

i don't think marriage is necessary at all, people are still able to cheat and leave you at any time; marriage is not a guarantee of security. So, basically, it doesn't matter how old you are, you the potential for the marriage to fall apart is always there.

getting married when young could mean that as the people grow up together they appreciate one another more and so have more respect thus meaning they are more likely to stay together. on the other hand they could become scunnered with one another and divorce. getting married older means you have less time together so you may make the most of it. Or, they are too wise to fall for the whole marriage scene and see it is a sham and divorce.

don't think age means that much.