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Guys; Do you like it when women approach you first? Watch

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    (Original post by xStaceyy)
    So I read these forums a lot and there always seems to be questions from guys asking how to approach a girl they like or what to say to let her know that he likes her.
    Sometimes you'll find a thread from a girl saying she really likes this guy but he won't ask her out or whatever. Its pretty rare to see a thread where a girl is asking for advice about how to ask a guy out. Kinda interesting to me!

    So really my question is; Guys, do you prefer to make the first move or do you like it when a girl is confident and asks you out first?
    I have no problem with that all.
    Actually, this just shows the level of confidence she has and I like girls who have confidence.
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    If you add "loud", sure. Obnoxious is another thing you can look for. Some guys are obvious *******s, some are more subtle. Women can filter out these men in various ways, out of those who ask her out, who pushes for sex, and so on. But confidence IS an attraction cue, and linking it to being an ******* is ridiculous. It's the equivalent of saying that hot girls are sluts.
    It's pretty obvious that a confident guy is more likely to be one of those confident cocky douchebag than a shy guy. Just by definition.


    Being confident is not just about approaching, it is about signalizing self-esteem, getting respect, showing yourself from the best side. Telling women to "give shy guys a chance" IS the equivalent of telling men to ask out women they don't like. You cannot expect the world around you to ignore their preference for your benefit. If you don't have the guts to approach a woman, you need to change. Most guys do - out of adult men, most of them do approach women. It is normal to be shy as a teenager. Adding to that, there is absolutely no guarantee that a shy guy will make a good partner.
    If you bothered to read the article, you'll see all of this explained. Women face rejection too, less often, but of a different kind. It usually happens further into dating, when she is more invested in the man. If they have had sex, she is also more in the negative, as women are judged for having more sexual partners than men are. It is not as if men have it harder than women. You have just decided on this as I am guessing you prefer to wallow in self pity.
    Yes, I understand that confidence is an attractive quality. I am saying that shy guys may make up for their lack of confidence in other ways, by being loyal or caring for example. He would probably stop being shy around you if you gave him a chance anyway, so the first meeting is pretty irrelevent. It's silly to judge someone's entire character just because they didn't want to come up to you. I would not completely write off a potential girlfriend if there was one thing about her that I didn't like. That's what you're doing, and it seems just ridiculous to me.

    And no, taking care of yourself is not "fairly easy". Exercise, diet, hair removal, hair dresser, skin treatments, clothing etc. takes an immense amount of time and money. Any girl you see who's a 8 or more, puts a LOT of effort into it. This is typical ignorance.
    Attractive girls will still look attractive even if they don't do much of this...
    Plus guys care very little about girls hair or other trivial stuff. You should be exercising and eating healthily anyway regardless of your appearance.
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    Doesn't happen very often.

    But hell, ***** got good taste :cool:
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    Duhhh. If she's confident enough to approach such a smokin' hot piece of ass like me...
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    I'm surprised at the amount of negativity surrounding the idea of girls approaching a guy. I've started doing it recently (really only when I have the confidence boost of alcohol) and it usually ends up well for me.
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    Definitely
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    (Original post by georose)
    I'm surprised at the amount of negativity surrounding the idea of girls approaching a guy. I've started doing it recently (really only when I have the confidence boost of alcohol) and it usually ends up well for me.
    Probably because you're difficult to reject :daydreaming: - in all honesty, you support Arsenal F.C, you get + points for that alone.
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    Personally, no. But I am sure most of my friends would say yes.
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    (Original post by Spontogical)
    Probably because you're difficult to reject :daydreaming: - in all honesty, you support Arsenal F.C, you get + points for that alone.
    Hahaha, thank you. I'm glad I'm not the only one who gives points if they support Arsenal.
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    In my mind yes it's great, but in reality it was weird. Only really happened once. Random girl (fairly attractive) grabbed my hand to dance when I was sat down chilling because the room was spinning. I was so surprised a girl actually went for it I just shook my head and kind of waved her off. Feel really bad now. She had more balls than I did and I rejected her. And I wish I hadn't when my head clicked into gear.
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    I'd say make the first move, because he may not be aware you want a 'move' to be made. I'm pretty oblivious to such things and will (and have) miss your signals. A girl I went to school with informed me that she had a crush on me, I was not aware and would have done something about it had I known, if she had made the first move rather than waiting for me to act we may have had a relationship (although I doubt it, there is a reason I'm rubbish with women.)
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    (Original post by Alimbo95)
    The girls who do always come across as desperate or unattractive. It's just the way the society is that the man makes the move.


    This was posted from The Student Room's iPhone/iPad App
    Truth. The ones who neg you for this are women who aren't approached and men who don't have the balls to approach, which I guess is most of TSR.
    It's unbelievable how many are miserable and start threads about their unhappy love lives but aren't willing to hear the truth from anyone. If what you've been doing until now doesn't work, then obviously you need to change.
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    The answer from young and shy guys will be yes.
    They have not yet developed the confidence they need, it's as simple as that. But they will, hopefully, which would make dating possible and also life better.

    As a girl, no, don't approach men.

    WTF are you talking about!
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    The answer from young and shy guys will be yes.
    They have not yet developed the confidence they need, it's as simple as that. But they will, hopefully, which would make dating possible and also life better.

    As a girl, no, don't approach men.
    This is true.

    Also, no hot girls will ever approach a guy.
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    Course we like it,but it doesn't happen
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    (Original post by Millie228)
    Truth. The ones who neg you for this are women who aren't approached and men who don't have the balls to approach, which I guess is most of TSR.
    It's unbelievable how many are miserable and start threads about their unhappy love lives but aren't willing to hear the truth from anyone. If what you've been doing until now doesn't work, then obviously you need to change.
    Hmmm.

    I both agree and disagree with you.

    Yes, there have been times where the girls just come across as desperate and it was extremely unattractive.

    However, there have also been times where the approach was well done. Opening with just a friendly topical conversation. Or where they've made it extremely obvious that they want you to approach them that it's almost like them approaching themselves.

    Though recently, a genuine 10 and myself were checking each other out for most the night. I wasn't really up for approaching because 1) She was a 10 and she damn well knew it, 2) About 20 guys tried it on her throughout the night, all getting rejected. Anyway, I see her a few days later, we both notice each other, but she was the one to initiate conversation.
    The fact that she was so confident actually made her more attractive. She was sexy and she knew it.

    ... All of this saying that your rule, is in fact not a rule at all. You shouldn't read someone's blog and take it as fact because it's written down.

    Also, you say a girl should just improve her looks rather than approach. What if she is pretty hideous for societies standards. Improving her looks aren't really going to help her, she's better of approaching other men around her 'league' who are probably complete failures with women.
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    This is true.

    Also, no hot girls will ever approach a guy.
    I normally agree with most of the things you post, however this isn't true.
    I have been approached by very attractive girls. Though it isn't very often and I'm usually approached by average - good looking girls, rather than the hot ones.

    Also, would count extremely obvious signs, such as seeing each other across the room, then her slowly making her way over to you and bumping into you to get your attention as approaching?
    Or do you mean complete cold approaching?
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    (Original post by theguv92)
    Guys only don't like being approached by ugly girls if they're dicks.

    I like being approached by hot girls and not so attractive ones alike - its extremely flattering and you should only be gracious that they've taken the effort to speak to you. Whether I'm interested in them or not shouldn't come into it. Just be a gentleman.

    And no, I'm neither cripplingly shy or insecure.
    Err, I tend to see ugly and/or fat guys more often calling em freaky
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    I'd hope the girls I'm interested in would know I'm not the kind of guy that would be a complete **** to them.
    I don't come across as that kind of guy, but I also know I'm not at all confident, however much I try to hide that fact
    I'd love it if a girl came up to me, like many guys do to girls. I'm honestly feeling low at the minute, like no one likes me etc, and I need some kind of pick up.
    I've never had any luck with anyone.

    A certain girl asking to hang out (I know she wouldn't) would send me skyward for a while. I can't honestly do it, because its obvious to her I'm interested, but I have no idea if she is, and at work I'd rather not have a set back like that, as it would send me even lower.
    Maybe its best its kept the way it is, as I almost think I've become almost a joke to her and her friend now.

    I just don't have the confidence, after so many set backs, with my life a complete shambles at the minute. A flip of the usual arrangement would be good.
    I've deleted my POF account because it was getting me so damn low that I'd message girls (7 last week, and not complete random ones, but ones I thought were interesting/attractive), and I got views but not one reply from any of them.
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    (Original post by MasterJomi)
    Or do you mean complete cold approaching?
    I mean straight forward approaching, as I would girls say at a club or party or what ever. I've had lots of girls approach me straight forward, average at best attraction wise.

    I agree though, girls will usually take more subtle approaches, and let it play out like it was by chance.
 
 
 
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