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How long do you wait before sleeping with a new bf/gf? Watch

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    however long it takes to get my trousers off :sexface:
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    I dont wait. I demand.
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    Try before you buy.
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    Until we both feel ready and it feels right for both of us. If someone loses respect for you/judges you for wanting to wait, or wanting to do it very early into the relationship, then they aren't right for you.
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    I think it depends on the situation. I had a mate who had sex with her boyfriend after a couple of months but I felt it was too soon for her as it was her first boyfriend, first guy she ever properly liked, first guy she'd done anything with and everything like that. That was the only reason I felt it was too soon for her, but I know one of the reasons she did was because she was just astounded by the amount of people she knew who had had sex. But she was 17, and felt happy with him and obviously her choice, I'm mates with her boyfriend, I was before she really knew him and he's a great guy, but he just seemed to really show off about the fact he 'nearly had a girlfriend' when my mate only just decided she liked him. But it's his first proper relationship, but he had done stuff before (not as far as sex though) but told people about how they had plans to have sex, basically anyone who would listen which made him seem a bit knobish to me :/ but hey, they're happy and in love so leaving them to it (plus the fact that since they got together, she doesn't really have the time for me anymore)

    But then complete contrast at work, where everyone sleeps with each other aha, when they're not together and half the time not even interested in getting together.

    I'm probably really late replying to this but I think for you now there isn't really a time when it would be too soon. I think the only time it could be too soon would be your first time, in your first proper serious relationship.


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    (Original post by when she was 22)
    I know, it sucks! (obviously the experience takes nothing away from the message of this thread though: if it's the right person then it doesn't matter how long to wait) it just sucks that it coincided with someone like this! I just find it so gross and awful that people will tell so many lies just to get sex. It's also horrible realising someone you thought was so nice and perfect is actually far from that! I try and think I'm better off without him but then I'm like 'but he was sooooo nice!'. Obviously not really! It's just messed with my head a bit, ugh. Definitely think I need some time off from guys.
    hahaha, I've no idea really, I'm not sure what to do now it's become obvious he lied to me: ignore him completely and just get on with my life, or have a go at him at some point for being such a **** obviously the first option is more sensible and will make me look like a better person but it's tempting to just let him know I know exactly what he's done, and let him know what I think of it! Hah
    Trust me I know how you feel, I was in a relationship which ended a while back before he started uni cos he wanted to have fun and wasn't done having fun yet :rolleyes: When I think back, I think wow he was so gentle, caring, sweet and really fun to be around and I forget that he broke up with me cos he'd rather have sex with random girls than be with me ... I know it's easy to think of the good stuff. I think that's our mind's way of protecting us from the pain and hurt of the bad stuff.

    I got all the anger out of me and yelled at him. I called my ex screaming, swearing down the phone in tears at him and it helped. He got angry back and was shocked at how angry I was. I wanted him to see/hear how he made me feel. **** being the better person sometimes it's good to just let it all out and sometimes that gives you strength. I got my revenge cos he ended up crawling back and I said no He is now seeing a girl who has cheated on him 3 times Karma is sweet

    You will move on in time... it's still raw right now ... but give it time. Enjoy being single, give yourself time to move on and accept things and learn from what's happened and put it down to experience
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    Doesn't bother me. If she's ready on the first date, or a few months down the line, not too bothered.

    Sex is fun, but I won't cry if it takes time. There's more to a relationship than sex.
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    (Original post by hali0112)
    Trust me I know how you feel, I was in a relationship which ended a while back before he started uni cos he wanted to have fun and wasn't done having fun yet :rolleyes: When I think back, I think wow he was so gentle, caring, sweet and really fun to be around and I forget that he broke up with me cos he'd rather have sex with random girls than be with me ... I know it's easy to think of the good stuff. I think that's our mind's way of protecting us from the pain and hurt of the bad stuff.

    I got all the anger out of me and yelled at him. I called my ex screaming, swearing down the phone in tears at him and it helped. He got angry back and was shocked at how angry I was. I wanted him to see/hear how he made me feel. **** being the better person sometimes it's good to just let it all out and sometimes that gives you strength. I got my revenge cos he ended up crawling back and I said no He is now seeing a girl who has cheated on him 3 times Karma is sweet

    You will move on in time... it's still raw right now ... but give it time. Enjoy being single, give yourself time to move on and accept things and learn from what's happened and put it down to experience
    Awww yeah definitely, plus there's obviously the element of not wanting to believe what they've done is true! I know it's natural for people not to want anything serious at this age, and it wouldn't bother me at all if a guy was initially honest about that, it's the fact he had the cheek to tell so many lies just for sex. Ugh! Definitely not worth the time. I always find people who end relationships cos they want to sleep around end up regretting it, anyway, when they realise that being single doesn't automatically mean you get to sleep with loads of girls but still, someone like that is not worth your time.

    Hahaha! To be honest that sounds like something I'd do if I had a few drinks I've got it out of my system mostly though - ended up sending him another message last night asking why he'd ignored my previous one. We talked and eventually he came out with all the typical stuff you'd expect to hear... that he realised he didn't want a relationship right now, didn't know what he wanted, liked me but didn't want to lead me on any further when his head was a mess, etc. It could be true, could just as easily be made up, too! Meh. I don't care anymore. Just glad I handled it well and got some closure (I have a tendency to embarrass myself when I'm upset over stuff like this hahaha but I haven't this time!)

    I feel better already, tbh I don't need a guy to be happy, and yeah, at least this experience has taught me not to be quite so naive. I'll take things guys say with a pinch of salt from now on, haha.
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    I've only ever been with the one guy and I'm still with him after four years and I was his first too. We waited about a month before doing things like foreplay. I think it was maybe the second month that we tried full on sex.
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    I slept with my boyfriend the night I met him and we're still together a year later. If you like someone do it when it feels right don't worry about rules.
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    Only been with one guy, still with him after 2 years 1 month, slept with him before we started dating.

    Stop putting a taboo on sex.
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    (Original post by when she was 22)
    Awww yeah definitely, plus there's obviously the element of not wanting to believe what they've done is true! I know it's natural for people not to want anything serious at this age, and it wouldn't bother me at all if a guy was initially honest about that, it's the fact he had the cheek to tell so many lies just for sex. Ugh! Definitely not worth the time. I always find people who end relationships cos they want to sleep around end up regretting it, anyway, when they realise that being single doesn't automatically mean you get to sleep with loads of girls but still, someone like that is not worth your time.

    Hahaha! To be honest that sounds like something I'd do if I had a few drinks I've got it out of my system mostly though - ended up sending him another message last night asking why he'd ignored my previous one. We talked and eventually he came out with all the typical stuff you'd expect to hear... that he realised he didn't want a relationship right now, didn't know what he wanted, liked me but didn't want to lead me on any further when his head was a mess, etc. It could be true, could just as easily be made up, too! Meh. I don't care anymore. Just glad I handled it well and got some closure (I have a tendency to embarrass myself when I'm upset over stuff like this hahaha but I haven't this time!)

    I feel better already, tbh I don't need a guy to be happy, and yeah, at least this experience has taught me not to be quite so naive. I'll take things guys say with a pinch of salt from now on, haha.
    It's good that you feel better for having got an explanation from him. Whether it's true or not, that's a whole different matter but at least you got some closure.

    I was messaging a guy on interpals. He was really hot and after a few nice messages, he said he wanted to skype. I wouldn't normally jump that quickly to skype. On his profile he comes across all respectful of women and how he thinks it's important to chat first before getting sexual or whatever. And I said I'd be happy to skype IM but not video or call and no dirty talk. I personally thought it was farr too soon and I'm not that kinda girl. Anyway, he never messaged back. Sleaze. Why the lies? why try and be something you're not if you're only after one thing :rolleyes:

    As for my ex, he got all the random drunken sex a young 19 year old coulda hoped for during fresher's and afterwards. It broke my heart. And cos I am a year older I had gone to uni before so knew the grass tends to be greener on the other side for guys. Most end up looking for a relationship at least by their second year cos they just want someone to hang out with cos uni can get lonely.

    I think there are some guys who want relationships but most at uni just want explore new opportunities.
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    It was 3 months, and im almost at 3 years with him! Dont regret it (was my virginity) at all, I was totally ready and it was amazing.

    This was posted from The Student Room's Android App on my MB526
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    It all depends on context/who you are/who he is etc etc etc.

    One thing I WILL say though: the shorter the amount of time, the shorter the dating/relationship in my unanimous experience. As such, I'm still with the guy with whom there was the longest build up.

    Sex is a powerful thing to most people, which does powerful things to how you see someone, and how they see you.

    If in doubt, wait it out. There's basically nothing to lose from letting all the tension build up (in fact it's one of the best part of my relationships), but there IS something to lose from giving it up too soon - i.e., his interest. Hate to say it, but a lotta guys will be thinking 'well hey, who else has gotton in on the action?' if you give it away too soon, and to be honest, I totally understand that way of thinking.
 
 
 
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Updated: April 12, 2013
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