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    Oh and for those repeating the overpopulation thing like a parrot please wake up. Europe's population is ageing, the age of retirement is going up and soon enough you will retire when you are 80 and the money given will not be able to support you. So instead of being "tied down with children" you will be tied down with utility bills and the freedom to choose between heating and eating.
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    My boy friend REALLY wants kids!! I'm rather surprised as he doesn't seem like the father type! I, on the other hand, would much rather focus on my education.
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    I 100% want kids but thats because ive always wanted to be a mum even when i was little i dreamed of having my own kids, I think though the fact you dont want kids your honest enough to admit it and not have them is great.

    There are far to many people who feel they should have kids or its social norm to have kids but actually you can tell that they resent them, i have a number of friends whose parents throw money at them but thats the extent of their relationship the parents and chid have no bond or relationship they just provide for them and thats that.

    Some people dont want kids and I think at 20 you know, unless you suddanly become broody, but most people know whether they want kids or not. I dont want kids now but by the time im 26 id happily be a mum
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    It's your body, just don't get pregnant
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    I didn't get the appeal either at your age, but it's something that comes with time.

    I'm still not sure if I will ever have children, but I can see how it can be a very enriching and fulfilling part of life.

    The true wealth is children (as someone once said).


    The only thing that worries me is that I have a daughter and she turns into a right little slut
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    Any of you people that want a kid and are in your mid teens, and expect to get benefits and not try to make a living for yourself and sponge of my parents tax money who are already struggling, and my friends parents. CAN SUCK YOUR DEAD GREAT GRAN THROUGH YOUR DADS BATTY HOLE
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    (Original post by Tvremote)
    Any of you people that want a kid and are in your mid teens, and expect to get benefits and not try to make a living for yourself and sponge of my parents tax money who are already struggling, and my friends parents. CAN SUCK YOUR DEAD GREAT GRAN THROUGH YOUR DADS BATTY HOLE
    This would carry so much more weight if you were actually paying tax yourself.
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    (Original post by Dragonfly07)
    That's the thing I've always had a problem is. It is your RESPONSIBILITY as a person who CHOSE to bring a child into the world to look after them and raise them to the best of your ability.

    The child never asked you to do anything for him, he just came bewildered into the world not knowing what was going on, then met some dude and a woman who he happened to live with.

    It would be absolutely abhorrent to bring a child into the world by expecting him to do something for you in return before he was even born. It's like building a living and thinking insurance machine as a back-up, doesn't sound very caring OR loving to me. The amount of people who have the same opinion as you is concerning.

    No amount of "but I love my child" or "it's something everyone else does" makes it a good excuse imo.
    This.

    It is a little bit selfish and there is not much guarantee that the kid will be there for you when you are frail.

    But this is the reality. That is why a lot of people have kids. And yes, it does sound like a little bit like an investment/business arrangement/insurance.
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    (Original post by MissCellaneous94)
    No kids for me either. Fair enough some people want them - we'd be screwed if they didn't - but when it comes up in conversation and you say you don't it's literally like you've just revealed you're a mass murderer. It really is ridiculous. Even in this day and age when we're all told to do what we want with the 'yolo' culture etc, if you dare admit you don't want kids you're viewed as 'weird', 'abnormal' - an outcast in society. There's loads of reasons why I don't want them, and there's an article here about one woman who never had, yet went ahead and had them for her husband and ended up deeply regretting it. It is from the DM so I expect some comments about that but it's an interesting read and goes against what people say about only regretting not having kids:

    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/ar...gret-life.html
    That's so sad...

    I bet loads of people feel like that but they are too scared to say. The lady is brave to say what she said, but how dare she say that having one child is selfish?!
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    (Original post by sevchenko)
    Who else is going to fulfil my failed ambitions of becoming a premier league footballer for arsenal? Who else is going to look after me when I'm old and grey, the Government ? I'd much rather pressure my kids into a moral obligation to take care of me. After all I did raise them it only fair they help me
    Lol that's selfish.

    But you've made a point - people have kids so that they can live their ambitions through them.
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    (Original post by canadamoose)
    I have plenty of friends who don't want kids, and I don't blame them in the least. It's a huge undertaking, and the responsibility puts you in a financially and psychologically strained position for a minimum of 18 years, and that's if you only have one child.

    I know that I want kids - I love their energy, enthusiasm, and willingness to imagine goodness in the world. Those qualities make me happy, which is why I choose to work with children as a profession. I also want to be the parent of kids with the man I love. Creating a person that is a mixture of yourself and your spouse is an amazing thing, and while it's not for everyone, I know that my relationship wouldn't work if there wasn't that possibility. I would love to help raise a child from an infant to an adult, and see the transformation that the person goes through, and see all of my hard work and devotion go into one human being with their own quirks and imperfections.

    Not everybody has to be the same way, and obviously not everybody wants to have children. I wouldn't have a long-term relationship with someone who didn't want kids, because I know that our relationship would never work out.

    Honestly, some people are on a high horse when they say that you'll change your mind. Nobody's forcing you to have kids. If you don't want them, don't have them! Hell, there are enough people in the world already. Have fun with whatever you choose.
    The ironic thing is, the people who complain when someone decides that they don't want kids are the same people who will complain about people like Mike Philpott or others on benefits having kids.
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    (Original post by Fullofsurprises)
    Interesting that most girls on here are saying they would be cool with having kids one day, but some guys are saying they wouldn't. There's a definite biological imperative at work at our age - guys want to have sex, girls are interested in a long term partner and maybe kids one day. That's the way we are set up by our genes. I think this changes for men as they get older, they get more fatherly when their partner gets pregnant and then they see their baby in front of them.

    Also, our relationships with our parents affect how we think about this and the way our parents feel about having kids also factors in. We get so much from the models of behaviour set by parents and sometimes by uncles/aunts, older siblings and grandparents. Basically, if you are loved well by your parents and they visibly are delighted to have you most of the time, that presets you to feel you will be the same with your own family.
    This.

    I didn't have a great childhood growing up, and that has affected my views. I don't know if I want kids, but if I didn't have them it wouldn't bother me.

    If I did I'd only have (or adopt) one child.
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    I know this sounds really cynical

    But its for the benefits/ social housing in a lot of cases
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    (Original post by PhysicsGal)
    I kinda agree with the OP, even though I do want kids. I definitely want to adopt a kid, so it's not about me leaving my legacy, but about me actually helping (pretty much for the rest of my life) another human being that might otherwise have suffered. But I do get you re the commitment and also when people say they feel as though their life will be over - that is true to a huge extent...it might also be hard seeing your kids live the dreams you didn't get a chance to, or take for granted things you can't. But I think by I'm in my late 20's/early 30's, I'll have done most of what I want to do solo with my life so that'll be the right time to have them.

    But if you don't want kids, definitely don't let other people (eg: family) pressure you into having them. This goes for pretty much anything your family pressures you to do (such as getting married, settling down, doing a certain degree...) - they won't be the ones raising the kids 24/7 for a couple decades fo' sure! It should be your decision to have kids. Not your family's, not just your partner's.
    This.
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    (Original post by cartman)
    This. The amount of girls who come and post pictures of their newborn on facebook - it's like, where's the shame? You had a one night stand and are no longer with the father yet you think you've done something good? :rolleyes:
    (Original post by vanessadixit)
    Or all the "well done" comments - all you had to do was lie down. Better yet, the constant Facebook statuses to convince themselves that their kid is the best thing that's ever happened to them.
    :lol:

    I see this a lot!
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    Don't want a child? Don't have one. Simple.

    That's my plan.
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    (Original post by HopefulMidwife)
    In my opinion, a lot of people have kids because:

    A) It's the done thing.

    B) It just 'happens' or is an accident.

    C) They are pressured into it or do it for personal gain (to keep a man, get child benefits etc.).

    D) Impulse or they think they would like to raise a child.

    E) Would love to raise a child of their own and feel it is part of their calling in life.

    F) Other reasons not otherwise specified in my rudimentary list.

    I fall into E). I adore children and can't wait to raise a child of my own. I have a lot of patience for children, and am naturally nurturing. I used to think I wanted 12 children, but I have rethunk that. Children can be annoying and you can't send them back. So I'll start with one and see how I feel about another one.

    However, if you feel like you don't want children, don't have any! If more people thought like you and were honest with themselves, perhaps we'd have less neglected and abused children in the world. Too many people have breeding apparatus' more functional than their brain. The amount of children I see, daily, who have parents who seem to despise them is shocking and heartbreaking.
    (Original post by HopefulMidwife)
    You're not selfish. Selfish would be having a child/getting married and treating them like **** because it's not what you really want. Which a high percentage of people do. You're most definitely not selfish hun. People are idiots.
    This.

    I see this too often and it saddens me. Those people are the selfish ones.
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    (Original post by cartman)
    This. The amount of girls who come and post pictures of their newborn on facebook - it's like, where's the shame? You had a one night stand and are no longer with the father yet you think you've done something good? :rolleyes:
    Very good point. I'd rep you if I could

    Also no shame about flashing money about, moaning about wanting a bigger house, etc, etc
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    (Original post by OL1V3R)
    It's very reassuring to hear that many people have similar views to me on this.

    However, by not wanting children, would I be disadvantaged if I met someone in life who really badly wanted them? I couldn't exactly say on a first date that I don't want kids!
    Maybe.

    The best thing to do is to date someone who like you doesn't want kids. Perhaps after a while maybe in a conversation about kids and marriage, perhaps mention it...
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    My biological clock is ticking. I don't know, it's been expected of me because I come from a traditional family. Kids are part of that. As well as having a generally boring suburban life. I don't think I want that. But kids are cool. I'm not going to be winning any Nobel prizes so why not have children! There's something appealing about pushing babies through orifices and spending sleepless nights and hundreds of thousands of pounds raising them. My mum had my younger brother at 36 which is unusual for our family at least. I don't want them any time soon and I think if I was told I couldn't have kids, I'd be really upset.

    What was the point of this post? I don't know
 
 
 
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