I think you're wrong about sex not being rational, however this isn't really about sex, it's about trying things.(Original post by Anonymous)
Should I really need to defend myself with a list of "logical" reasons for not wanting to do it? I'm actually more of a romantic/emotional person, and surely it's reason enough not to do it that I have a strong instinct against it and I personally don't find the idea of it a turn-on at all? In fact, for me, I'd find it pretty degrading and know I would just be doing it to give my boyfriend what he wants, only to regret it later. Surely sex isn't a "logical" thing at all but actually mostly instinctive?Liking or disliking the taste of lemon ice cream is different from flat-out refusing to even try it. If you had a legitimate fear of something, then I could understand, but if there are no rational reasons for not even trying it, I don't think that's really putting yourself in the best position. As I said, if there was an actual reason for not wanting to do anal, then I'd be more understanding, but if it's just "I don't want to because I don't want to", then I really don't.(Original post by Dragonfly07)
Can you grasp the notion that emotions and preferences are not intrinsically logical? They're the complete base of things; you can't justify why you like the taste of lemon ice-cream and hate the look of poop-stained underwear.1) Attraction isn't really the same... attraction is logical within itself. If you find someone unattractive for X reason, then you might not want to have sex with them; whereas in this instance, the being put off may not be for any reason.(Original post by vaguity)
Let's apply that logic to more scenarios involving sex..."hey girl, want to have sex?" "No, I don't want to. I'm not interested." "Well, simply not wanting to is not a good reason for not doing it, you need a logical reason not to have sex with me. You're just being silly." Yeah...no. Saying that gives people a way to justify pressuring people to do sexual acts they are uncomfortable with. It's very ****ed up. You shouldn't have to need a logical reason not to do something you're not comfortable with sexually; if you perceive there to be no gain for you (sure, some girls like anal, but for many it's painful and there's not much physical pleasure, and if she doesn't get off on the dominance then why put yourself through it?) She's not being silly by saying no. I don't want a tattoo. I have no 'logical' reason for not wanting one, I just don't want it. Am I being silly for not getting a tattoo?
I can think of plenty; lack of trust in partner to take it slow/be careful etc, previous bad experiences (e.g sexual assault), pain/lack of pleasure, the feeling of it being unhygienic (which it will be unless she gets an enema, but from what I've heard, that's hardly a comfortable experience either), if her boyfriend perceives it as a 'dominance' issue, she might not want him to 'dominate' her in that way.
2) I'm sure there are reasons for you not wanting a tattoo, you just can't think of them, or aren't writing them down. It's ugly? It might hurt? You might regret it? Those are reasonable reasons.
3) I didn't say there were no reasons to be against trying anal; I simply said what I said if this is a case of "I don't want to because I don't want to". I made that quite clear. As I said before, if there are legitimate reasons, then it's perfectly sensible to avoid it. I'm just perplexed as to how you can say "I don't want to try it" if you can't think of any reason not to.
4) This point is more just for your own information; "unhygenic (which it will be unless she gets an enema)" - you're wrong. I assure you, anal sex is perfectly hygienic without using an enema. Do you think all gay sex involves enemas?
Has yours come through yet?