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    (Original post by nic-nac)
    I love my boyfriend. If I had the option to sleep with my boyfriend I would, and I wouldn't even think about other guys. But because my boyfriend said I could and a couple of guys have been flirty, it has become tempting. If he told me that he would dump me and hate me for doing it, then the idea of doing anything more than hug another guy wouldn't even cross my mind.
    It sounds to me like letting you sleep around is his way of doing the old 'if you love her let her go'. If you sleep with someone else he will know it's time to let you go, because he (with his low confidence) thinks you'll be happier with someone who you can sleep with.

    If you truly love him back, then it wouldn't cross your mind and you'd wait. Even if he said it's not cheating to go with someone else, it kind of is.
    Having said that I understand from experience that abstinence until marriage is a lot to ask from someone, especially when we're young and inclined to experiment
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    (Original post by Riku)
    Letting you sleep around is his way of doing 'if you love her let her go'. If you sleep with someone else he will know it's time to let you go, because he (with his low confidence) thinks you'll be happier with someone who you can sleep with.

    If you truly love him then it wouldn't cross your mind and you'd wait. Having said that I understand that that's a lot to ask from someone, especially when we're young and inclined to experiment
    He said that he didn't mind if I had 'meaningless sex with a guy or two as long as they're not a **** and treat you with respect'. The thought is almost definitely only crossing my mind because he said I could.
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    (Original post by nic-nac)
    He said that he didn't mind if I had 'meaningless sex with a guy or two as long as they're not a **** and treat you with respect'. The thought is almost definitely only crossing my mind because he said I could.
    Hmm I personally think he really means he wants you to find a guy who can give you what he wants, i.e. he feels he's getting in the way of your happiness. I.e. insecure about the relationship.
    But I could be wrong. I've misinterpreted things many times before. :P
    He may have decided to make the relationship more open, genuinely. If that's the case then perhaps you'd be OK, as long as they're truly meaningless. (I'm a virgin but nevertheless I can't understand ONSes, I\'m waiting for not necessarily 'the one' but someone I have a connection with, and as it happens it's the girl I'm with right now, who ironically is also no sex before marriage like your bf!
    But you should appreciate how selfless he's being, remember he can't go sleep around with anyone else. The only person who might get hurt from this is him. My gf offered me a similar position actually, and what it boiled down to was her thinking I wasn't going to be happy with her in the long-run. That's absolutely not the case.
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    (Original post by Riku)
    Hmm I personally think he really means he wants you to find a guy who can give you what he wants, i.e. he feels he's getting in the way of your happiness. I.e. insecure about the relationship.
    But I could be wrong. I've misinterpreted things many times before. :P
    He may have decided to make the relationship more open, genuinely. If that's the case then perhaps you'd be OK, as long as they're truly meaningless. (I'm a virgin but nevertheless I can't understand ONSes, I\'m waiting for not necessarily 'the one' but someone I have a connection with, and as it happens it's the girl I'm with right now, who ironically is also no sex before marriage like your bf!
    But you should appreciate how selfless he's being, remember he can't go sleep around with anyone else. The only person who might get hurt from this is him. My gf offered me a similar position actually, and what it boiled down to was her thinking I wasn't going to be happy with her in the long-run. That's absolutely not the case.
    My boyfriend doesn't believe in no sex before marriage. Where did I say this ? I said his mums catholic, but he isn't. When I see him, he definitely satisfies me! He could sleep around if he wanted to and had the confidence, but he doesn't.
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    (Original post by nic-nac)
    My boyfriend doesn't believe in no sex before marriage. Where did I say this ? I said his mums catholic, but he isn't. When I see him, he definitely satisfies me! He could sleep around if he wanted to and had the confidence, but he doesn't.
    Oh, sorry. My understanding of the post was he was religious.
    The points still apply. I can't see why you don't both have confidence in the relationship as it is and not needing anyone else as a booty call, but that's just me.
 
 
 
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