That's so gay - does anyone say it anymore? Watch

carlisomes
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#61
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#61
(Original post by FelixTheKat)
How would you feel if the first time you heard your sexuality's name (a large part of your identity) was as an insult
it's not my problem. perhaps be a bit less sensitive since you can't absolutely control what others say or their intent.
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LonelyPlanet
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#62
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#62
I go to a Boys School, so I hear it all the time.
But it's just teasing, no one would say that to someone who they know is openly gay. Only to those who obviously aren't gay, but are perhaps acting a bit gay with certain actions/gestures, etc...
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MostUncivilised
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#63
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#63
(Original post by TurboCretin)
This is why I suggested that disparaging a pink shirt or flowery curtains as 'gay' is qualitatively different from calling a maths problem 'gay'. Maths problems do not seem to me to share characteristics with any gay stereotypes, so I don't see how calling a maths problem gay can logically be taken to be saying anything bad about gay people.
I actually find the latter more irritating than the former. And it seems quite obvious to me why it's offensive, it's because they see maths problems as being rubbish and being gay was something that was deemed rubbish. The use of he word is entirely predicated on the fact that being gay was seen as undesirable.

Getting offended by that would be like black people getting offended by the phrases 'black market' or 'Black Monday', or any other phrase containing the word 'black' which carried negative connotations.
I'm sorry but that is disingenuous. The use of the word black market isn't based on a racial desciption (i.e. they didn't call them black markets because they had to do with black people), it's coincidence whereas calling something that is bad "gay" is entirely based on its sexual orientation meaning and the underlying (formerly common) belief that being gay was something that was undesirable
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MostUncivilised
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#64
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#64
(Original post by carlisomes)
it's not my problem. perhaps be a bit less sensitive since you can't absolutely control what others say or their intent.
It will certainly become your problem, though. If you continue on into adult life talking like that you'll be shunned by any people who are actually worth knowing. But maybe you're entirely okay hanging around with the kind of guys who at age 30 spend their weekends drinking beer, playing Xbox and lighting their farts on fire

If that's the extent of your social ambition then please continue using the word, by all means.
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carlisomes
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#65
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(Original post by MostUncivilised)
It will certainly become your problem, though. If you continue on into adult life talking like that you'll be shunned by any people who are actually worth knowing. But maybe you're entirely okay hanging around with the kind of guys who at age 30 spend their weekends drinking beer, playing Xbox and lighting their farts on fire

If that's the extent of your social ambition then please continue using the word, by all means.
er....OK....I can sense your hurt, but then people aren't always kind and nobody is owed anything...if people say or said gay in your school, so what?

I personally don't care what people say or do.....I accept there are and will be people who don't act to my liking, I simply avoid them. And perhaps you should just avoid people who offend you by saying gay, it's not as if I give a **** if you can't see you can't control others..
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Jibola240
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#66
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#66
Most people aren't using in a way to insult gay people. Stop looking for something to get offended by, move on.
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RabbitCFH
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#67
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#67
I use it a lot when talking to my friends.
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The Socktor
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#68
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#68
I think when people use that phrase they aren't necessarily implying they think there's anything wrong with gay people, any more than people who call people "****ers" means they think masturbating is wrong. However I can understand why someone who actually is gay might get upset by that, and well, with the latter term, chances are the insulter is also a ****er if you take it literally. When I was in school a lot of kids used the word "Jew" as an insult. I didn't know any Jews but I suspect if there were some there they wouldn't have enjoyed the experience.
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marcus2001
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#69
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Yeah I regularly call people gays and ******s etc., but that's because they work well as insults, the word ****** just has some comical connotations unrivalled by other curse words, I don't associate it with gay people though or mean it to offend them
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TurboCretin
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#70
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(Original post by MostUncivilised)
I actually find the latter more irritating than the former. And it seems quite obvious to me why it's offensive, it's because they see maths problems as being rubbish and being gay was something that was deemed rubbish. The use of he word is entirely predicated on the fact that being gay was seen as undesirable.



I'm sorry but that is disingenuous. The use of the word black market isn't based on a racial desciption (i.e. they didn't call them black markets because they had to do with black people), it's coincidence whereas calling something that is bad "gay" is entirely based on its sexual orientation meaning and the underlying (formerly common) belief that being gay was something that was undesirable
Do you have any evidence to support these claims, or is it conjecture on your part?
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anosmianAcrimony
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#71
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(Original post by thesabbath)
So-called "gays" stole the word in the first place to employ as a political euphemism to try and make their activity sound less repugnant, they can't therefore complain if its meaning shifts to cover that which is generally undesirable just as "bent", "queer" et al refer to that which ain't quite right. You might say "well those meanings changed too", but they retained the negative connotation: the reason "gay" is so contentious is because it was a positive word before the homosexual lobby took it, but the next stage (it becoming a negative due to its association) should have been obvious.
Why are they "so-called" gays? They are so-called gays as much as you are a so-called right-winger. Neither really makes much sense in terms of its various definitions, but they're both in common usage.
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Blast Tyrant
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#72
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I have to admit that I still use it from time to time with my friends. I personally don't see it as being a problem as I think most people understand that the meaning of the saying has evolved to the extent where it's not really considered derogatory now (at least with younger people).
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Another
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#73
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Didn't realise so many people were sensitive about this, "gay" gets thrown around left right and center with my friends.

Then again so does paki, terrorist, the n word... we're not very PC.
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MostUncivilised
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#74
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#74
(Original post by TurboCretin)
Do you have any evidence to support these claims, or is it conjecture on your part?
The etymology is quite clear, unless you have evidence to support anything other than a straightforward application of Ockham's Razor. I remember when people started saying it about 15 years ago, the meaning was (as it is now) self-evident.

Even leaving that aside, it's offensive because it's hurtful. I've seen a study that suggested about 80% of gay teens find it hurtful, and given their vulnerability as a group, you'd have to be a bit of a **** to deliberately continue using despite knowing what effect it has on that group
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scrotgrot
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#75
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We're so old we don't hear it but I bet tween boys still use it all the time.

And as everyone knows trying to make tweens of all sexes and backgrounds stop behaving like absolute brain-dead idiots will drive you to drink.
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Ruffiio
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#76
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#76
Ha, gay! on first page
Not disappointed. :cool:
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BoBosus
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#77
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#77
(Original post by Another)
Didn't realise so many people were sensitive about this, "gay" gets thrown around left right and center with my friends.

Then again so does paki, terrorist, the n word... we're not very PC.
Why what does it mean to you?

Those words are accepted
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Zürich
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#78
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Cant recall hearing it since I was about 15 tbh and even then people used the word almost in parody of ignorant comments.

(Original post by MostUncivilised)
It will certainly become your problem, though. If you continue on into adult life talking like that you'll be shunned by any people who are actually worth knowing. But maybe you're entirely okay hanging around with the kind of guys who at age 30 spend their weekends drinking beer, playing Xbox and lighting their farts on fire

If that's the extent of your social ambition then please continue using the word, by all means.
Well it depends if you want to associate with people who have replaced a sense of perspective with a PC mentality. But there are loads of people in the world outside of the ''twenty-something, metropolitan humanities graduate'' who couldn't care less about throwaway comments like that, even if they might cringe at the childishness of it. Once had a boss in the City who would sometimes say things like ''stop messing about like a ******'' and nobody bat an eyelid for instance and that kind of language was common amongst what were multi millionaires. Just because you would crucify anyone who would say something in jest, doesn't mean that everyone else will, but agree in general it's not worth the aggro and it's best to assume everyone else is part of the happy-clappy brigade :rolleyes:
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felamaslen
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#79
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#79
(Original post by thesabbath)
So-called "gays" stole the word in the first place to employ as a political euphemism to try and make their activity sound less repugnant, they can't therefore complain if its meaning shifts to cover that which is generally undesirable just as "bent", "queer" et al refer to that which ain't quite right. You might say "well those meanings changed too", but they retained the negative connotation: the reason "gay" is so contentious is because it was a positive word before the homosexual lobby took it, but the next stage (it becoming a negative due to its association) should have been obvious.
Do you not see any virtue at all in allowing people to freely live their lives as they see fit, and engage in homosexual relationships if they so wish?
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MostUncivilised
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#80
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(Original post by Zürich)
Well it depends if you want to associate with people who have replaced a sense of perspective with a PC mentality. But there are loads of people in the world outside of the ''twenty-something, metropolitan humanities graduate'' who couldn't care less about throwaway comments like that, even if they might cringe at the childishness of it. Once had a boss in the City who would sometimes say things like ''stop messing about like a ******'' and nobody bat an eyelid for instance and that kind of language was common amongst what were multi millionaires. Just because you would crucify anyone who would say something in jest, doesn't mean that everyone else will, but agree in general it's not worth the aggro and it's best to assume everyone else is part of the happy-clappy brigade :rolleyes:
It has nothing to do with a PC mentality and everything to do with basic common decency and a regard for one's fellow humans. It is not in dispute that using the word gay to mean bad is hurtful to gay teens, a group that has not exactly had a particularly easy existence for most of our history. Even today, they have a suicide rate that is considerably higher than boys of the same age who are not gay. I would have thought that refraining from using a word, something that costs you nothing but has a positive impact on the lives of these young guys, is something that any basically decent individual would be happy to do.

On the issue of having a boss who used to call people ******s, that world is fast disappearing, and I for one welcome that. There was a high court case a couple of years ago where a Chief Exec of a city firm (I think it was Cantor Fitzgerald) regularly used this language, it was a major contributing factor to a multimillion pound judgment against the firm. At the University at which I work, a guy used the N-word in what he thought was a joking fashion, and he was dismissed for gross misconduct. 30 years ago, a boss could get away with saying something like "Stop being such a bloody poofter". These days comments like that will get you fired. I can't see how social and commercial pressure against verbally abusing your employees or colleagues could be considered a bad thing.

The political correctness tag is often whipped out when someone resents being pulled up for using hurtful and insulting language, as if such language has been made illegal. What is actually happening is that as a society we are saying such language is unnecessarily cruel and thoughtless, and that there are social or commercial consequences for using it.
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