When will I finally find a boyfriend!?!?!? Watch

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bluemax
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In response to the title: probably the same time I get a girl friend

So probably never. Forever alone. FTW
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sparklenshine
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(Original post by AnharM)
Well, unless I'm completely wrong, those girls were friends of the guys maybe? Or perhaps they were dressed a certain way so guys thought they were easy to pull? Or perhaps....super attractive girls don't get asked out a lot because guys think they have no chance with a hot girl. The average guy wouldn't have the confidence to go up to a super hot girl and start flirting etc. so maybe you're seen as a attractive girl?
They weren't. I was watching, they were random guys dancing alone and then they would go to these groups of girls randomly and dance with them. No one came to me and my friend. And I am not really hot haha. I am good looking and very sophisticated. Not really the hot girl.
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sparklenshine
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(Original post by inachigeek21)
A PhD in what field? Sorry, genuine interest.
You may think too much or think too highly of yourself?
Hang on. Didn't you do a masters in order to move onto the next level, PhD?
Theoretical Physics
I do not think too highly of myself
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sparklenshine
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(Original post by mikeA1)
So you don't want it as bad as your parents want it for you eh? See, so stop looking - since it doesn't sound like you're that hungry for a man. Just do you and if you're single forever - so be it. This time, love your single life. Hope you have a pet?lol!

Nah but on a serious note, when you hit 30 and you see you mates getting hitched, married etc. I bet this attitude of yours towards 'your typical bf' will change so fast, you'll wonder what sort of ideals were packed up in your head - and then you'll smile.

It happens all the time with females and you won't be the last.
No I want it just as much, in fact more than them. They can get over it if I am single forever but I won't. I'll be the lonely one. And no I can't just have that attitude. I am ready to do black magic to get what I want. I think it is the only way. I just have been cursed I guess. It's just impossible for a girl like me with looks and personality to be alone forever. Bad luck I guess. I want to get married I don't think I'll have that attitude. I think I'll feel worse in the future.
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sparklenshine
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(Original post by bluemax)
In response to the title: probably the same time I get a girl friend

So probably never. Forever alone. FTW
Well, that's just great!
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constance2013
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hi OP, I thought i would give you some advice. First congrats on getting to PHD Level of PHYSICS!!! WOW thats so amazing.

I have a feeling that you may be one of those girls who look and act perfect which in some ways scares a lot of men away. They love to see little imperfections which makes you human and approachable. Also they love to feel like they are in some ways superior to you...due to your imperfections. Maybe you are approachable but perhaps you dressed up smart and having perfect makeup and perfect smile can sometimes be very dauting...not just to men but to girls too.

My advice, hope it helps.
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holmes221
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(Original post by sparklenshine)
I went to a club recently and no guys came to dance with me. It was a party and at a club and I saw random guys going to dance with other girls but none came to me! They all look at me weirdly and ignore me!!! I hate guys. I really want to punch them all. They always ignore me! Even when I go up to one and am friendly they never bother to continue the conversation. They just smile and answer my question and never ask me anything. They just don't want to talk to me!! And they talk to other girls who are uglier than me. I am not going to apologise for saying that because I have a right to express my opinion and I am rather good looking and there are much uglier girls than me who have had 100s of boyfriends and are not even as smart as I am. I am doing my PhD currently! I just finished my BSc
So why is this happening to me!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? I am soo angry right now?! I was left humiliated yesterday when I was dancing all alone. I had fun but no one bothered about me. I felt so stupid. I just have grown to start hating guys. I mean how can they just ignore me? I do not ignore them! And how can they choose EVERY other girl over me. I mean at least one guy should prefer me right? NONE do!!! I can already predict the comments on this thread: Your personality is horrible, no wonder guys don't like you.
LOL my personality is great but right now I am in a very angry mood and venting so obviously it will seem like that. Just believe me when I say I am smart and intelligent. I was even told a few times to be a stand up comedian haha. And I am quite decent looking to attractive depending on your taste. I dress well too. So what is the problem??? I don't believe everyone has a soul mate but I DO believe everyone can find at least 1 person to date. I mean is that so much to ask!?!? Wtf is going on? I think someone cursed me. I feel like I need to do black magic to get a guy now.
I think you answered your own question. You sound quite bitter, like the girl from the film carrie or something. If you're horny for a man, you cant just sit on your butt. You still have to do some of the work like flirting or something..
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sparklenshine
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(Original post by holmes221)
I think you answered your own question. You sound quite bitter, like the girl from the film carrie or something. If you're horny for a man, you cant just sit on your butt. You still have to do some of the work like flirting or something..
I did not answer my own question. I can flirt if the guy approaches me first. I am not going to randomly approach a man like that. Men always complain that women never approach them, yet they try to act like it happens often. Other girls, many of whom are uneducated and unattractive don't, so why should an attractive and smart girl like myself do so? Also I am a bit old fashioned and want a man to approach me. I like decent, quiet, intelligent and sophisticated men who approach women.
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sparklenshine
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(Original post by constance2013)
hi OP, I thought i would give you some advice. First congrats on getting to PHD Level of PHYSICS!!! WOW thats so amazing.

I have a feeling that you may be one of those girls who look and act perfect which in some ways scares a lot of men away. They love to see little imperfections which makes you human and approachable. Also they love to feel like they are in some ways superior to you...due to your imperfections. Maybe you are approachable but perhaps you dressed up smart and having perfect makeup and perfect smile can sometimes be very dauting...not just to men but to girls too.

My advice, hope it helps.
Hi thanks you're sweet. I'm sure I have some imperfections though
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Eboracum
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(Original post by sparklenshine)
Well guys always say it is easier for girls but it is not. Do you see online the kind of tips people give to girls so that they can find a guy? They have to dress a certain way, wear make-up, be friendly, be a little flirty, do this, do that. It is ridiculous. Girls have to struggle, especially unlucky ones like myself. Guys never struggle. And guys are lucky, they are supposed to ask out a woman. It is what a man does! Yeah I don't believe it will happen soon for me. It just doesn't seem like it and nothing seems to be changing so I don't know. I am really going mad. If I knew what the problem was that would be ok but right now I just do not know why this is happening and that is why I am frustrated. And what facade?
Thanks for your help.
Thanks for your message. This is an interesting debate.

The problem here, is that you've only addressed things from a girls point of view. So yes, I agree, a girl has to dress nicely (possibly a touch provocatively), put on make up, be a little flirty...I accept that and agree with you. So you are a girl and see things from a girls perspective, but I am a boy and see things from a boys perspective. Have you stopped to consider what a boy has to do?

First, theres going to be the question of height and build, which in many case a boy can't do anything about. You might have it a prerequisite of muscles/six pack...but what if one doesn't like going down the gym? Then theres the question of confidence, a boy would have to have the confidence to initiate, which from your post you probably take as a given, but it can be extremely intimidating to initiate a conversation and hold it with a beautiful woman, and can be nearly impossible if it's a group of women. If you're a girl, eventually you'll get hit on, but if you're a boy, you might go through your teens and maybe all the way through your 20s without having a relationship if you don't have this confidence. There's also issues such as being an alpha male, avoiding the friendzone...so there's a lot you have to consider from a mans point of view...it doesn't come naturally to a lot of men that one is six foot, well built and full of confidence, some will never be that. I think to say guys never struggle is very unfair.

In terms of yourself, you seem very nice in some of your posts, and your PHD makes me think you're very intelligent, so try to display these qualities more and you'll do better but also, try to understand men more...see things from the other side.

One final point, you must have had approaches? Or would you say they were all from weirdos only. Were they all weird? Did you give them a proper chance?
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Anonymous #4
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If I lived in your country and know that your culture fits with mine, I would ask you out and probably marry you. I am honest by the way and I even don't know how you look. You seem to be fine, just don't be so deperate and sad. We all seek for warmth and tenderness, you are not alone.
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OnionRing
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pics or you're lying

or dance with guys, don't wait for them to come to you
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BullViagra
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lol sorry but some people are saying you might be too attractive that scares men away, that is complete bull****. a 10/10 girl standing alone in a club is like the greatest pulling opportunity for any man. you're not too attractive, if you were people wouldve approached you in a heartbeat.

i have a feeling you have a look that may seem okay for girls, but really off putting for guys. just like how girls always think their friends are attractive when they're not. you might not look nice enough for them when you think you are.

look at girls commonly seen as attractive by men and then imitate them if you're that desperate and your situation is so dire as you're making it out to be.
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DLau88
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#74
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#74
Approach a guy
Laugh at everything they say
stroke their arm a little
Job done.
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holmes221
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(Original post by sparklenshine)
I did not answer my own question. I can flirt if the guy approaches me first. I am not going to randomly approach a man like that. Men always complain that women never approach them, yet they try to act like it happens often. Other girls, many of whom are uneducated and unattractive don't, so why should an attractive and smart girl like myself do so? Also I am a bit old fashioned and want a man to approach me. I like decent, quiet, intelligent and sophisticated men who approach women.
Let me clarify. Its ok to expect the man to approach you, but you can't just sit there spectating when hes flirting with you. Maybe you are too entitled? Now I hate to go down this route but I can't fully help you unless I saw what you looked like, because men are very visually oriented.
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DCMed96
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(Original post by sparklenshine)
I went to a club recently and no guys came to dance with me. It was a party and at a club and I saw random guys going to dance with other girls but none came to me! They all look at me weirdly and ignore me!!! I hate guys. I really want to punch them all. They always ignore me! Even when I go up to one and am friendly they never bother to continue the conversation. They just smile and answer my question and never ask me anything. They just don't want to talk to me!! And they talk to other girls who are uglier than me. I am not going to apologise for saying that because I have a right to express my opinion and I am rather good looking and there are much uglier girls than me who have had 100s of boyfriends and are not even as smart as I am. I am doing my PhD currently! I just finished my BSc
So why is this happening to me!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? I am soo angry right now?! I was left humiliated yesterday when I was dancing all alone. I had fun but no one bothered about me. I felt so stupid. I just have grown to start hating guys. I mean how can they just ignore me? I do not ignore them! And how can they choose EVERY other girl over me. I mean at least one guy should prefer me right? NONE do!!! I can already predict the comments on this thread: Your personality is horrible, no wonder guys don't like you.
LOL my personality is great but right now I am in a very angry mood and venting so obviously it will seem like that. Just believe me when I say I am smart and intelligent. I was even told a few times to be a stand up comedian haha. And I am quite decent looking to attractive depending on your taste. I dress well too. So what is the problem??? I don't believe everyone has a soul mate but I DO believe everyone can find at least 1 person to date. I mean is that so much to ask!?!? Wtf is going on? I think someone cursed me. I feel like I need to do black magic to get a guy now.
no one dance with me either
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lou_100
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(Original post by Eboracum)
Interesting debate.

I think the central point is one that we agree on; that it is incredibly easy for a girl to pull on a night out, and it is rather difficult for a boy to pull. I'd argue if you are a girl, even average looking and well kept, you'd probably get 4 or 5 offers during the night. My experience of nightclubs is that they tend to be "sausage-fests" anyway. Another point is, girls are often in groups...it's incredibly difficult if you're a bloke to roll up to a group of four or five women and just start chatting. If you know of anyone with the confidence to do this, I want some coaching from him...

But on the latter point, I don't agree. I think the problem is that girls are often "too picky" and too often they'd group actually what are quite decent chaps in the group of the "just some drunken guy". It might be the case for example, that in a night out, if you're a girl you'd get 5 offers, actually 1 or 2 of them might be decent chaps that just deserve a chance.

Same point with dating websites. I've heard women say "yeah I get loads of messages but they are all weirdos", no probably at least a third of them are decent blokes.

So I'd argue it's fairly easy for a decent well kept girl to pull somebody decent, where as if you're an average looking bloke, pulling a decent girl is incredibly difficult.
See I just think guys get bitter and say rude things like "girls are picky" and "the guy was decent and she didn't give him a chance". Some guys go as far as to phrase it like the girl did something wrong. When really, it's just bitterness because she just didn't fancy him. If an average looking guy goes out looking for any pull vs. an average looking girl going out for any random pull, the girl would get a guy far quicker than the guy would get a girl in the night. They'd probably both still get someone in the end, the girl would just find it easier/quicker.

But guys can be quite gross in the sense they can even lower their standards by far to get a kick out of pulling anyone they can. Why should girls have to get comments like the above said about them just because they actually aren't looking for any random pull of any random guy. Maybe a guy is "decent" as you say, but if she doesn't fancy him she doesn't fancy him. Guys don't need to get rude about it.
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Nicholas Nelson
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I'm sorry to hear that, from what I've read you sound like a nice person unfortunatly I'm not the person to give advise in this field. (or spelling for that matter)

Hope things get better.
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sparklenshine
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#79
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(Original post by BullViagra)
lol sorry but some people are saying you might be too attractive that scares men away, that is complete bull****. a 10/10 girl standing alone in a club is like the greatest pulling opportunity for any man. you're not too attractive, if you were people wouldve approached you in a heartbeat.

i have a feeling you have a look that may seem okay for girls, but really off putting for guys. just like how girls always think their friends are attractive when they're not. you might not look nice enough for them when you think you are.

look at girls commonly seen as attractive by men and then imitate them if you're that desperate and your situation is so dire as you're making it out to be.
No I am a very good looking girl. I am not going to get into the details of how I know this because most people would just assume I am making it up but I am. I also own a mirror so I can see my reflection daily and I am a conventionally attractive female. I am not hot though. I would just say I am beautiful. I don't want to imitate girls seen as attractive by men. I don't like their looks with all the makeup and slutty clothing. I like my style and my sophisticated and elegant and feminine dress sense. I don't want to look like them. I cannot take your advice. sorry.
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President Putin
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Stop being so desperate for a boyfriend. If you really want one, go to a nightclub in a short skirt and you'll probably leave with one.
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