Took my boyfriend on holiday for his birthday, he just got me a pair of earphones Watch

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BreakingBadx
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#61
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My earphones were £10... anyway I wasn't expecting anything big, just something that meant he put somethought or effort into it. And year I paid for both our meals for my birthday.

I was thinking maybe he was going to surprise me tonight with a dinner he cooked, but he's just message d to say he's got no food in the house and can I get something on my way to his from the library. Whilst, it's his day off, and he could've got something quite easily.

I don't get it... I'm too chicken to ask if he's taking the piss :o: He seems like he's happy in my company... all I want is for him to be happy, but I just wish he'd be a bit more considerate. I was planning to be in the library until 9ish... but if he's got no dinner, I really need to leave by 7. So fed up and stressed
You sound unhappy TBH, I thought you were breaking up with him? I'd say talk to him as has been suggested, but if he just won't change then maybe think about doing that as otherwise you're always going to be stressed out with this guy.

Also: ignore all the pathetic comments (not gonna name names b/c modding) from the misogynist forever aloners on here. TSR is full of bitter men who jump on every relationships thread made by a woman and screech at her in an attempt to forget about their virginity :rolleyes:
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Maid Marian
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#62
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#62
Sounds like you're not very well-matched. :erm: It sounds ridiculous to break over something like that, but if it bothers you so much that you'd dump him for it, perhaps he's just not the right person for you? :dontknow:

You've got to give and take, remember. He might just be bad at buying presents.:sadnod: Maybe give him some ideas next time of what you'd like?

I know that if I ever got a bf, I'll just be like, "give me a card and flowers for my birthday and I'll be over the moon" :lol: So at least he'll know. If you're not happy with your bf, tell him.
Pop_tart
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Birthday's are so overrated in my opinion :/ I really don't care at all about my bday to to be honest and haven't really celebrated it for years. I maybe decide what we eat that night but other than that I don't do anything special really.
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donutaud15
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#64
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Did he do something nice for your birthday? Maybe made food or something? That could make up for the headphones but if he didn't then I definitely agree he's not worth the bother. It's the effort not the cost of the present that counts imo.

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Holby_fanatic
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(Original post by Le Nombre)
That must be quite unusual for a married couple though, most will spend more than 20 quid on an anniversary present.

If someone earning 50k a year (decent money, yes, but not stupid money by an means) spends 250-3000 quid on a present it's less than 10% of their monthly salary, hardly going to ruin them financially.

I agree she was daft to do the holiday thing twice, but it's not ludicrous for some couples to do that. True, but he didn't pay for her bday meal, that's what, 30 quid?, that's a **** take.
He's not earning £50,000 a year working in a shop though. And they're not married.

I don't see what the big fuss is with gifts for birthdays. "Yay, you're a year older!"
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Le Nombre
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(Original post by Holby_fanatic)
He's not earning £50,000 a year working in a shop though. And they're not married.

I don't see what the big fuss is with gifts for birthdays. "Yay, you're a year older!"
No, I agree OP has gone OTT given their situation, I was just using 50k as an example to show a holiday isn't always outrageously extravagant.

No sorry, married I meant you and your husband, because you mentioned your anniversary.

Good excuse for fun stuff isn't it. Still think the meal's a bit much, if you're going out for a meal on someone's bday it's kind of implied you'll cough up for that (assuming they haven't insisted on Manoir or something).
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Clip
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Not being mean, OP - but what you are experiencing is what it is like to be a man.
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lozasaurus99
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Feeling pretty depressed about this tbh.

Last year, I surprised my bf, and took him abroad on holiday for his birthday. He bought me a pair of gloves (albet they were from Reiss).

This year, I took him to Belgium, he got me a pair of earphones.

Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty upset. It isn't about how much they cost, at all... I just thought he'd put more thought into it. He's 36, I'm 25. His birthday was in Sept and mine was yesterday.Meaning that his birthday was before mine and he put no effort into mine.

Last year I sort of made a little comment about how gloves were a bit ****, and my gran could've got me them... but he got upset, so this year I pretended I really appreciated the earphones.

I've started my MSc this year and so I planned for months beforehand as I knew I'd be a student again and so I'd have to budget well to take him away.

Thinking of breaking up. We've been together 4 years. But I don't know how to. First relationship, so would appreciate some advice.
Just interested how did you two first meet?

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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by lozasaurus99)
Just interested how did you two first meet?

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it was my weekend job at the shop he works while i was at uni...

For the people saying I went OTT doing it as a present, we were originally going to go for his birthday and he was gonna pay for his bit and never did, and I joked it could be his present from me and he was happy to accept it, not embarrassed like some of you have suggested. And I was happy to, because if you love someone you want them to be happy.

I'm just upset about the lack of effort on his part, which hurt... I'm not saying he should get me anything expensive.
Anonymous #1
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Turns out... he's just bought himself a bass for £800 :yy:
Jamie_11_x
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#71
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You could've planned a holiday together, pay half together for an anniversary rather than buying it for a present! A holiday as a present is outrageous! You shouldn't give to receive! It doesn't mean he doesn't care it means he's a bloke!
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Anonymous #1
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Also for those saying it's a bit OTT to give as a present... A LOT of people I know have done it for their partners
- A girls at work's boyfriend is taking her to the Canary Islands for Christmas
- Another girl at work took her bf to Spain while they were at uni
- A friend took her boyfriend to Amsterdam for his birthday
- Another friend took her boyfriend to Paris for their anniversary
- And another friend took his girlfriend to New York for her birthday

So after 4 years, I don't think it was overdoing it... It's a normal thing to do
Tiger Rag
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(Original post by Jamie_11_x)
You could've planned a holiday together, pay half together for an anniversary rather than buying it for a present! A holiday as a present is outrageous! You shouldn't give to receive! It doesn't mean he doesn't care it means he's a bloke!
I would have preferred this, rather than receiving a holiday as a birthday present.

Some people are rubbish at thinking about what gifts to give someone.
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Anonymous #4
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To all the people who say you shouldn't complain because it's "the thought that counts" stfu. The thought that counts? Well clearly because he was thoughtless and obviously spent no thought on it at all, whereas she probably spent loads thinking, planning, paying etc.

I say go to that gig and then leave him a few days after - it's not like he's losing on any money on that. True, you shouldn't have splashed out on him again when all he gave you were gloves and you should've gotten the hint at what kind of gifts to give.

It's not worth staying in, especially if it's affecting your studies. And while you're back at uni, use that opportunity to meet new people!

Guys do let themselves complacent if they get away with it. If you don't talk to your future boyfriends on what you will and will not accept you're not going to be very happy. Likewise, you shouldn't let yourself become complacent for your future man either. (I say future because you're defo going to break up with your boyfriend)
Jono-Wolf
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Well well well..... I'm no relationship guru or anything, but your boyfriend is pretty sad. Is he not "rich", sorry to use a poor term there
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username1229433
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You're doing too much for this guy.


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Juichiro
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Feeling pretty depressed about this tbh.

Last year, I surprised my bf, and took him abroad on holiday for his birthday. He bought me a pair of gloves (albet they were from Reiss).

This year, I took him to Belgium, he got me a pair of earphones.

Needless to say, I'm feeling pretty upset. It isn't about how much they cost, at all... I just thought he'd put more thought into it. He's 36, I'm 25. His birthday was in Sept and mine was yesterday.Meaning that his birthday was before mine and he put no effort into mine.

Last year I sort of made a little comment about how gloves were a bit ****, and my gran could've got me them... but he got upset, so this year I pretended I really appreciated the earphones.

I've started my MSc this year and so I planned for months beforehand as I knew I'd be a student again and so I'd have to budget well to take him away.

Thinking of breaking up. We've been together 4 years. But I don't know how to. First relationship, so would appreciate some advice.
Yes, you should break up, because, no offence but you come across as a rather superficial person if you are so upset about gifts.
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Anonymous #5
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I personally think he's not that bothered about you. You should break up with him.
Hes just taking advantage of your niceness
puddingbot
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To be honest, yes, some people are just crap at thinking up gifts (I USUALLY end up thinking of decent birthday & Christmas gifts for my boyfriend that he really likes, but it takes a few months of thought!) and I do also agree that after the first holiday you bought him maybe you shouldn't have bought the second one (although I don't think it's totally weird to buy someone a holiday after you've been with them for a while, I do pretty often hear of people who make decent money surprising their partners with tickets to Paris or whatever) but at the same time he does sound a little bit like he's taking advantage of you. The fact he couldn't even treat you to dinner on your own birthday -- I get that he doesn't earn much, but you didn't even have to go to a restaurant, he could have cooked you something at home -- and that he's expecting you to drop all your plans to go buy him food when he's been at home all day already... I dunno, just sounds a bit frustrating, and from reading your posts you certainly DO sound frustrated and pretty miserable.

Present-buying aside, have you brought up to him that you don't always feel like he puts as much into the relationship as you? It doesn't have to be an argument or an accusatory conversation, but if it doesn't seem to you that he's really expressing affection or appreciation in any way, then there's not much point in keeping things going imo.
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bittr n swt
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Loooooool wow so much disrespect

Tbh that was too much

He don't care about u
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