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Im 19 and my mother still hits me. HELP ME watch

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    OP

    Wow this is a mess and a half.

    I have to admit as a white british female i couldnt possibly understand the cultural issues you are facing however I will ask this:

    - Would you want to beat your children in the same manner if you become a mother?
    • #3
    #3

    This is so shocking.
    I respect my mum 100% and really...I have a brilliant relationship with her.
    But if my Mum started acting the way yours did - As in beating - I would have to move out.
    But I would do so in the minimal amount of contact with her as possible.
    Possibly involve my siblings too, but it is debatable on that - involving more people will cause more problems, sometimes, and it involves all the legal requirements that go on too.
    I wouldn't report my mother, but would make it clear to her that if she continues...that would have to happen.
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by NomadicBelle)
    Lol! It's so normal.
    I'm from an East African background and my mother is half Somalian Half Tanzanian. They are just brought up that way! There's nothing you can do about it! At all. My mother is a single parent too.. If you think about all the things they go through as single mothers, they really rely on their children to turn out near perfect. Their mentality is "I work day and night, and the least my child can do is become a good child"
    - She loves you! Means no harm. It's just she was taught by the hand and therefore she knows no other way but to teach but by the hand.

    (Also, take into consideration that she may be a bit bitter from your father passing away. I am almost near positive that my mother is bitter due to a tragic divorce)
    - East African woman are strong! They have been through so much! And in my case my mother has fled a massacre. So just take into consideration that they have been through a lot!
    - I figured out that if I try to build a relationship with her and try to build trust with her.. It should be fine! And my hypothesis has proven to be correct.
    It works!

    Hope that helped



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    I agree 100%
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Mimsycrafts)
    OP

    Wow this is a mess and a half.

    I have to admit as a white british female i couldnt possibly understand the cultural issues you are facing however I will ask this:

    - Would you want to beat your children in the same manner if you become a mother?
    Hell no. Never ever ever will i ever hit my children. There is no way im putting them through this
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hell no. Never ever ever will i ever hit my children. There is no way im putting them through this
    Then why is it so important for you to respect your culture but not your children? Do you not deserve the same treatment as them?

    Change comes from someone saying enough is enough , good luck x
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    People who say fatherlessness isn't a problem in our society, and the black community in particular, take note - it affects the lives of real people. Try to reason OP
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    People who say fatherlessness isn't a problem in our society, and the black community in particular, take note - it affects the lives of real people. Try to reason OP
    Yup
    Okay x
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    **** you both. Hell no would I hit the woman who brought me to this earth. I'd rather she killed me than to lay a finger on her
    Well get off TSR and don't ask for bloody advice! If she killed you, then that would be one less silly thread...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Lord Jon)
    Well get off TSR and don't ask for bloody advice! If she killed you, then that would be one less silly thread...
    very low blow
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    My mum was the same. I was forced to move out when it got to a point that my life was I'm danger.
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    This is not discipline, this is abuse.

    For your younger siblings sake, you need to soften your mum's attitude so they don't experience the same thing in the future. It's clear your mum worries a lot about you and isn't comfortable with you staying out late, so you have to stop that for now - the trick is to gently push the boundaries until you earn your mum's trust.

    Start slow, the next few times you plan on going out let her know in advance and tell her; where you are going, when you expect to return (start off early ~6-7pm) and who you are going out with (brownie points if you've got a friend with a car who will drop you off home). Over time, as your mum gets used to it, you can start going out later and more frequently.

    Also, try and keep a cool head/try not to fight back when your mum is yelling at you, you end up saying things you regret and it can make the whole situation 10x worse. Your mum wasn't brought up the same way you were and attitudes don't change overnight, have patience.

    Best of luck
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    Smash her head in
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    (Original post by Black Cat)
    Can you read?

    Spoiler:
    Show
    She isn't allowed to move out before marriage.
    Can you read?

    She is >18 she can do what she wants.
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    OP, you can move out. You are allowing culture to dictate to you that you cannot move out and this is resulting in the abuse continuing.

    If you have the financial means to go, then go.
    • #4
    #4

    i know how you feel I as a child got hit on a regular basis because apparently in general I was a "Bad child." My dad has a quick temper sometimes he leaves nasty contact rashes after a good old skin to skin slap with his hands and he does what he wants I would say to find some way of excuses before/when you go out to make life a little easier I usually say my phone is dead and needs charged and I forgot to charge it and there won't be enough battery when you're out, just to ease the pain as for the question of where you really where take loads and loads of pictures and videos as evidence that's probably one way of getting round it and when you talk to your sister use txt or something so your mum can't hear or spy on you. I don't have any solutions just ways to make life easier.
 
 
 
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