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Would you leave your partner if they didn't want intercourse? Watch

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    (Original post by Ronove)
    It absolutely is the norm to ask people when they last got tested/whether they've been tested recently/since their last partner etc, at least where it's a new partner and the person being asked is known to sleep around. It's certainly not something you skirt too much around asking if you're worried - and it's not something anyone known for being quite sexually active is going to actually get offended over, especially if it's an inexperienced person asking.

    But either way, you sound a little vulnerable, OP. Don't take anyone's word for anything when just starting out - make sure you use a condom if you end up doing anything. To be fair I think it's very normal to be very worried about protection when just starting out - re. STIs and re. potential pregnancy. It took my first sexual partner and I a while to stop using condoms, even though I was on the pill, because we were both that worried about me getting pregnant.
    Thanks. Yes its normal to question about sti's but I don't think it's that usual to tell someone to get tested before sex (correct me if I'm wrong). How come I sound vulnerable, if I was vulnerable I probably would have been persuaded into having sex/relationships in my teens like a lot of girls are but I've gone against social norms and refrained from it for years (somehow lol) and now I'm just worrying about getting sti's from a male with a very sexually active history.

    I should bring it up with him and will certainly require him to use protection I wouldn't have sex otherwise.
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    (Original post by xylas)
    Glad we agree. Also you shouldn't have sex with someone you don't trust.
    I do trust him as in I know he wouldn't do anything harmful intentionally but I suppose some people are just the opposite of me and don't worry much/at all about sti's.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks. I'm actually too old for the hpv vaccine I'm inexperienced with sex even though I'm way too old for the vaccine ha. I was looking up ways to get it without having to pay as I can't afford it but they don't give it to people my age as it's not recommended for some reason. I've not had intercourse but still because I'm out of the age range I won't be able to get it. I'm not struggling to insert tampons but it does hurt as they go in (it's fine once in) and I'm sure nothing larger than them will fit in : / I'm not keen on the idea of intercourse mainly because of sti's as I said plus I doubt it would do anything for me it would just be for the guys benefit. I would be more willing to try if I knew he had no sti's but it's not really the norm to ask people to get tested it can offend people.
    I'm not too clued up on the HPV vaccine for those past pubescence, but I do know you can get it privately - it's a shame you can't pay, might be worth having a second Google around to make sure you don't qualify for protection?

    It absolutely is normal to ask about STIs - perhaps not so much with a ONS, but with a new (planned-to-be) longterm partner this is certainly the norm!
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    I wouldn't. But I know he'd leave me

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks. Yes its normal to question about sti's but I don't think it's that usual to tell someone to get tested before sex (correct me if I'm wrong). How come I sound vulnerable, if I was vulnerable I probably would have been persuaded into having sex/relationships in my teens like a lot of girls are but I've gone against social norms and refrained from it for years (somehow lol) and now I'm just worrying about getting sti's from a male with a very sexually active history.

    I should bring it up with him and will certainly require him to use protection I wouldn't have sex otherwise.
    It is absolutely normal to ask someone to get tested before you start having sex if the person has been having unprotected sex with other people.

    You just sound a bit vulnerable in the sense that you're letting yourself be led (a tiny bit) as to what's acceptable/normal by someone who wants to have sex with you, and asking people here. It doesn't even matter what the norm is - even if it weren't the norm to be careful re. STIs, you are absolutely allowed to insist on him getting tested before you have sex, and you both using condoms even after that, if that's what you want to happen. He can take it or leave it.
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    It depends on the situation of course, but I think practically and realistically, I would leave the guy.
    As most people have said, if it were a medical condition or something, obviously I would try and help the guy get past it or whatever, but if it was just no sex for no reason, I probably wouldn't stay with him.

    As well as that, I think that if I was in a relationship with a guy long enough to fall in love with him and all that mushy stuff, I would hope that he would have had the decency to tell me that he never wanted sex, probably earlier in the relationship when the topic first came up, and then I could make a decision then on whether I wanted to stay with him, knowing all the facts. Otherwise I might just end up feeling like he tricked me somehow, as sex is a big part of most relationships.

    And this might just be me, but I think that sex is quite an important part for a healthy relationship (well, any relationship I would be in) as it's not just a physical act (although you know, that too ), but I think there is a sense of intimacy and closeness that comes with sex, which I would miss.
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    (Original post by xylas)
    Bad logic mate. That's like me saying I don't only buy a car for it's brakes...
    You make it sound as if sex is NEEDED for a relationship - well technically yes if you want to have children but otherwise it's just another way to pleasure each other. Obviously I would have the desire to have sex with them lol but if they weren't able to then I wouldn't leave them because of that... (if I genuinely liked them)
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    No, I don't think I would. It may sound overly "morally correct", but I feel like sex isn't that big of a deal. Sure, sex and seaxulity is awesome and great, but there's so much more I enjoy in my realtionship with my partner that is part of making the relationship as good as it is. There are som much more I gain; a since of belonging, fellowship, interpersonal saftey, an incredible sense of mutual love and consideration - it can't really compare when in a caring and loving relationship, I find. I don't think I need sex to experience emtional intimacy and closeness.
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    In. a. heartbeat.
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    (Original post by Kangie)
    You make it sound as if sex is NEEDED for a relationship - well technically yes if you want to have children but otherwise it's just another way to pleasure each other. Obviously I would have the desire to have sex with them lol but if they weren't able to then I wouldn't leave them because of that... (if I genuinely liked them)
    Well it's not just a friendship is it?
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    (Original post by MiniR)
    It depends on the situation of course, but I think practically and realistically, I would leave the guy.
    As most people have said, if it were a medical condition or something, obviously I would try and help the guy get past it or whatever, but if it was just no sex for no reason, I probably wouldn't stay with him.

    As well as that, I think that if I was in a relationship with a guy long enough to fall in love with him and all that mushy stuff, I would hope that he would have had the decency to tell me that he never wanted sex, probably earlier in the relationship when the topic first came up, and then I could make a decision then on whether I wanted to stay with him, knowing all the facts. Otherwise I might just end up feeling like he tricked me somehow, as sex is a big part of most relationships.

    And this might just be me, but I think that sex is quite an important part for a healthy relationship (well, any relationship I would be in) as it's not just a physical act (although you know, that too ), but I think there is a sense of intimacy and closeness that comes with sex, which I would miss.
    *high five*


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    (Original post by Kangie)
    You make it sound as if sex is NEEDED for a relationship - well technically yes if you want to have children but otherwise it's just another way to pleasure each other. Obviously I would have the desire to have sex with them lol but if they weren't able to then I wouldn't leave them because of that... (if I genuinely liked them)
    For most adults, sex is needed in a relationship. Obviously there are people with low sex drives, medical conditions, phobias, etc, but I don't think most people would be really happy never having sex. The idea that many people have supported on here, that wanting sex in a relationship means you care less about the person, is ridiculous. It's like when people say "looks or personality". Both are essential. It's like saying "would you rather lose your heart or your brain".
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    (Original post by Precious Illusions)
    If they NEVER wanted sex? Yes I would probably leave them.
    You have to be honest, innit. People like sex, and if a person who likes sex is in a relationship with someone who never wants to have sex, it would be a bad relationship to be in.
 
 
 
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