Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Antifazian)
    You sound like you're being a bit self-centred about this - her desire for space has nothing to do with you, she has a lot of work to do, is likely as simple as that!

    You need to get used to the idea that your relationship is not the most important thing in her life right now, she is rightly prioritising her degree over it. You should want to support her in that. Even if she does mostly want to go to Bath because it's the best uni for her master's, so what, she's being smart about things.

    Just suck it up right now, encourage her with her coursework, and look forward to spending more time together in the Summer.
    so 2 questions

    a) how would you feel if he was the one in 3rd year/doing Masters and needing space

    b) How would you react if she chose to broke up with him now during this time, because he wasn't being ambitious enough in the interim etc.?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    so 2 questions

    a) how would you feel if he was the one in 3rd year/doing Masters and needing space

    b) How would you react if she chose to broke up with him now during this time, because he wasn't being ambitious enough in the interim etc.?

    There's no need to flip this around bro.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    One of those guys, indeed
    look mate I'm just warning you.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    look mate I'm just warning you, I saw my dad get divorce-raped by my mum, nothing is innocent where sex is involved. It's a biological world devoid of the social demand for morality we have created, and if you give her any reason to dump you, she is likely to jump on it. This means a) if you complain about not getting to see her, the women will hate you for selfish and weak demeanour-LOOK at the responses to your insecurity, b) if you do not improve yourself in the interim esp. career-wise, you will receive little sympathy in the worst case scenario…it happened to me!

    I have witnessed these boards for long enough to know that, except in heartless-***** gladly-cheats scenario where they're like 'you deserve better' because of the denial they would ever do that that comes from emotional etachment, there is a general pro-women bias to counter the occasional stupid misogynist troll thread. It's a product of both the age group of this site and the times, I warn you now because when this thread gets moved I'll be unable to discuss it with you.
    Stopped reading
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    There's no need to flip this around bro.
    there's not? Eh, you're the one saying you got insecure about the idea of distance and minimal contact. The ladies here (with the odd exception) did not sympathise with you for it, I warned you of the stakes at hand, it's your call now, read between the lines.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    there's not? Eh, you're the one saying you got insecure about the idea of distance and minimal contact. The ladies here (with the odd exception) did not sympathise with you for it, I warned you of the stakes at hand, it's your call now, read between the lines.

    You missed the point
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    Stopped reading
    good luck to you then. Remember: if you say or show you're insecure, you are ****ed. Make the most of yourself in this siesta, and when she comes back remind her why you are the **** and had no need to worry. You have very few other options that end happily.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    good luck to you then. Remember: if you say or show you're insecure, you are ****ed. Make the most of yourself in this siesta, and when she comes back remind her why you are the **** and had no need to worry. You have very few other options that end happily.

    "Divorce-raped" :rolleyes: ...
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    "Divorce-raped" :rolleyes: ...
    the divorce was traumatic for all parties, particularly my dad.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    evicted from the house, 70-30 equity split after promised a 5-50, meant he took up 2 jobs works 60 hour week. Developed depression, Mum used this against him to say why he was unfit for child custody in court. Mum cheated on him with my now stepdad and now works 40 hrs max. Dad paid part of mortgage of old house to Mum as part of equity split for apx. 3 years. My sister will only associate with him as father if he agrees to the terms Mum was right, he was abusive and did not deserve us.
    Poor you
    Spoiler:
    Show
    :rolleyes:


    Sad you call it "divorced-raped" lol

    He obviously did something very wrong I'm sorry to say.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    You missed the point
    I missed no point. I said you have to trust

    a) you are good enough for her not to reconsider during time away, so will not show insecurity about the situation HOWEVER you feel

    b) You can tangibly SHOW how you are a keeper i.e. self-improvement in interim (or yes the insecurity WILL creep on you)

    c) if she leaves to focus on career/Masters (50-50) or meets someone else/cheats (which she might, 20-80 probability imo) it's her loss anyway, and she senses this

    Women hate neediness bro. They also hate me for understanding some of the rules.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    haha I cannot conceive of a gf making this compromise in reverse, sorry to say.
    This is unfortunately probably true...if the situation was flipped I am fairly sure that the responses would be a lot different...

    About me saying about compromise, that is why so few people can maintain long relationships, as in this age both sexes wants and expectations of their partners have reached an un-achievable level

    Even in today's modern world, there are still embargo's about relationships and how they 'supposedly' should be...

    I agree with Dodgypirate, flipping the situation is not needed. The thread should be focused on helping the guy out, not flipping the issue to see how people would react...if the boot was on the other foot
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    Poor you
    Spoiler:
    Show
    :rolleyes:


    Sad you call it "divorced-raped" lol

    He obviously did something very wrong I'm sorry to say.
    don't bad-mouth my dad, please.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    yes my dad is such a pathetic little **** who deserves to die that Mum should cheat on him.

    Settle down sweetums, don't bring your family's woes into my thread!
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JBurt)
    This is unfortunately probably true...if the situation was flipped I am fairly sure that the responses would be a lot different...

    About me saying about compromise, that is why so few people can maintain long relationships, as in this age both sexes wants and expectations of their partners have reached an un-achievable level

    Even in today's modern world, there are still embargo's about relationships and how they 'supposedly' should be...

    I agree with Dodgypirate, flipping the situation is not needed. The thread should be focused on helping the guy out, not flipping the issue to see how people would react...if the boot was on the other foot
    yes but only one gender is expected to compromise on those unachievable levels, to be very frank. The fact he has no sympathy for my dads divorce 's symptomatic of the way this generation regards disenfranchised men. It's necessary to me, because it gives him time to prepare not to be bitter when he realises, the situation is unfair.
    • TSR Support Team
    • Very Important Poster
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    so 2 questions

    a) how would you feel if he was the one in 3rd year/doing Masters and needing space
    Gender makes no difference. The OP just needs to accept that his girlfriends degree comes before him.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dodgypirate)
    Settle down sweetums, don't bring your family's woes into my thread!
    I'm trying to help you realise, in a very brutal and somewhat sexist way, that your insecurity will for better or worse ruin the relationship.

    Good luck.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by JBurt)
    This is unfortunately probably true...if the situation was flipped I am fairly sure that the responses would be a lot different...

    About me saying about compromise, that is why so few people can maintain long relationships, as in this age both sexes wants and expectations of their partners have reached an un-achievable level

    Even in today's modern world, there are still embargo's about relationships and how they 'supposedly' should be...

    I agree with Dodgypirate, flipping the situation is not needed. The thread should be focused on helping the guy out, not flipping the issue to see how people would react...if the boot was on the other foot

    Thanks to Bandicoot this is turning into a "herr derr gender equality thing"
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by OU Student)
    Gender makes no difference. The OP just needs to accept that his girlfriends degree comes before him.
    I'm one of the few who gave OP sympathy for his feelings of insecurity, the terms 'suck it up' and 'you're selfish' were used. Gender makes a difference, because it helps him realise that there is more to this than what is being said-because there is.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by OU Student)
    Gender makes no difference. The OP just needs to accept that his girlfriends degree comes before him.

    Which I have no thanks to the majority of you.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: January 23, 2015
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Has a teacher ever helped you cheat?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Write a reply...
    Reply
    Hide
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.