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    (Original post by lccy)
    Also - you should think about if YOU like the way YOU like... if you don't... then you could diet but only if that's what you want... never change yourself to attract guys. The right guy will come along and he'll think you're just right the way you are. It all starts with you.
    I don't see the issue with changing yourself to attract guys. If you are happy to lose weight and think it will get you the attention and confidence you want, what's the issue? Losing weight may be a means to an end, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, provided it won't cause you harm in any way.
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    (Original post by hektik)
    I don't see the issue with changing yourself to attract guys. If you are happy to lose weight and think it will get you the attention and confidence you want, what's the issue? Losing weight may be a means to an end, but it doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, provided it won't cause you harm in any way.
    If it was something that she also wanted to change, then that's fine. But I don't think it's healthy to change something you maybe don't want to. Sorry if I wasn't clear
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    (Original post by lccy)
    If it was something that she also wanted to change, then that's fine. But I don't think it's healthy to change something you maybe don't want to. Sorry if I wasn't clear
    I agree, if you like the way you are, you shouldn't let someone make you change. But if you want the change, well, that's fine too.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not really fat at all but I'm slightly overweight (like not much but I'm very self conscious about it) and I'm worried the fact I have a bit of a tummy/ bigger thighs will put guys off if we decide to take things further. From your experiences, do guys generally get put off by girls being slightly bigger or do they care more about other things?
    People like different things. Your weight will be a dealbreaker for some guys, but not for others, just like with every other attribute.
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    (Original post by MaseratiJay)
    I prefer girls with a bit of meat on them to be honest...what do I need a rake for? I'm not a gardener
    You a whaler then?

    Bizarre thing to say.
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    (Original post by iAmanze)
    Find a guy your weight and relax.

    Or just loose weight... -.-

    Personally I would never date a larger girl, it shows she lacks self control and self worth thus self confidence.
    Or perhaps she just doesn't base all her self worth on how physically attractive you might find her...? Or feel the need to always "control" herself...?
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    (Original post by TurboCretin)
    You a whaler then?

    Bizarre thing to say.
    May I ask what was bizarre about it?
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    #4

    Ino how you feel. Like exactly.
    And im also not even fat im just very curvy. I have a big ass, which i love, thick thighs, which i love, and im VERY busty which makes me look much bigger than i am but i love having them i guess. Yet you can have all these good features but one bad one, in this case for me my stomach, can just totally bring you down.
    My advice is just get some nice lingerie. I go for the ones that cover your stomach and emphasise your chest or even corsets and i cant tell you how much more confident it makes me feel. You look sexy and your problem areas are covered so your not worried hes looking.
    Im lucky enough to have a boyfriend who tells me he adores my body exactly how it is. But unfortunately theres guys out there who will judge you based on size and i bet they dont have the perfect body with six packs and big d*cks so who are they to judge.
    Real women have curves and real men appreciate them
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Oh unclench! What I mean is that if weight (within a reasonable amount) is a deal breaker then the guy is an idiot. If a guy has that approach he could be missing out on an awesome relationship. I also said it was my opinion of which I am entitled...as are you!
    Not really, because if he found the weight particularly off-putting then that wouldn't be an awesome relationship but whatever
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not really fat at all but I'm slightly overweight (like not much but I'm very self conscious about it) and I'm worried the fact I have a bit of a tummy/ bigger thighs will put guys off if we decide to take things further. From your experiences, do guys generally get put off by girls being slightly bigger or do they care more about other things?
    This is tough. I don't know your body shape, but personally I was always athletic but with a large frame, so even when I was quite fit I wasn't "skinny". At the moment I am about 15 pounds more than I'd like to be, which doesn't make me all that much bigger, just less toned, so...
    To me, at least here in the US, men seem to really like curves, and a booty on a girl. But they also like slim girls. So don't worry about them liking you, it doesn't sound like you're even "large".
    If you're really concerned about it, try working out a bit and maybe see if there's some things you can change in your diet. But I'm sure any guy would like you, despite what you describe, which seems insignificant.
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    I don't understand why not being attracted to someone because of their weight makes someone a bad person? So many posts ITT making out that you're a bad guy for disliking a large girl...it's all about personal preference surely? I'm a big guy myself but I prefer smaller girls. I don't feel like that is hypocritical because some smaller girls like bigger guys haha. It doesn't make you horrible, it's just whatever you prefer personally...
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    (Original post by dhr90)

    Besides, have you ever hugged one of those size 6/8 stick thin girls? Its like hugging a slightly warmer lamp post that has arms...
    So you're making her feel better by insulting those who are 'stick thin'? What if her issue was being too thin? Would you go ahead and say "besides, have you ever hugged a size 20 girl? It's like hugging a whale with human arms!!!111"

    That's NOT how you make someone feel better.

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    (Original post by xleoanimusx)
    I don't understand why not being attracted to someone because of their weight makes someone a bad person? So many posts ITT making out that you're a bad guy for disliking a large girl...it's all about personal preference surely? I'm a big guy myself but I prefer smaller girls. I don't feel like that is hypocritical because some smaller girls like bigger guys haha. It doesn't make you horrible, it's just whatever you prefer personally...
    Yeah you're right, though I always feel like it's superficial of me to not like guys who are overweight... Though I don't know how I could be with someone who doesn't care about sports or fitness


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    (Original post by D_ecrivaine)
    Yeah you're right, though I always feel like it's superficial of me to not like guys who are overweight... Though I don't know how I could be with someone who doesn't care about sports or fitness

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Nah it's not. You like what you like...if someone doesn't find me attractive because they like skinny guys I wouldn't be offended...that's just how it goes. I don't think you should change yourself to attract more people, unless that's what you're into. OP is bothered by it by the sounds of it so maybe she should try and lose some weight.
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    (Original post by xleoanimusx)
    Nah it's not. You like what you like...if someone doesn't find me attractive because they like skinny guys I wouldn't be offended...that's just how it goes. I don't think you should change yourself to attract more people, unless that's what you're into. OP is bothered by it by the sounds of it so maybe she should try and lose some weight.

    Hmmm...Although hearing someone say that they wouldn't like me because they like slim girls (even though I'm not big!) would offend me maybe it shouldn't.
    However, I think you shouldn't dismiss someone because of one physical feature...I mean if you're not attracted to them so be it. But maybe if you like them and just aren't into it because of their size? Come on.
    Yeah it's unfortunate because I doubt she's much bigger than I am. And even though I want to lose weight it didn't make me think someone wouldn't like me.
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    (Original post by D_ecrivaine)
    Hmmm...Although hearing someone say that they wouldn't like me because they like slim girls (even though I'm not big!) would offend me maybe it shouldn't.
    However, I think you shouldn't dismiss someone because of one physical feature...I mean if you're not attracted to them so be it. But maybe if you like them and just aren't into it because of their size? Come on.
    Yeah it's unfortunate because I doubt she's much bigger than I am. And even though I want to lose weight it didn't make me think someone wouldn't like me.
    It depends how picky you are. I'm extremely picky, some people aren't. For me, certain things can be deal breakers, like I will NEVER date a smoker. I don't think it makes anyone a bad person, everyone is different and you have the right to choose someone that suits your desires, exactly as you see fit. No one is obliged to be with anyone if they aren't perfect for them, if that's what they desire.
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    So many idiots in this thread. If you don't know someone you're going to judge from appearance. If you don't like what you see then you're not going to go for them.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm not really fat at all but I'm slightly overweight (like not much but I'm very self conscious about it) and I'm worried the fact I have a bit of a tummy/ bigger thighs will put guys off if we decide to take things further. From your experiences, do guys generally get put off by girls being slightly bigger or do they care more about other things?
    Men have lower standards than women because females are more selective (supply of horny men is high, demand from women is lower).

    That being said you've said your only 11 stone, so get a good exercise regime, eat healthily and in 3 months you could be under 10 stone.

    (Original post by megxn)
    if he doesn't like your weight then he really isn't worth your time!
    (Original post by esjae)
    Darling, if he isn't interested in you because of your weight, then you can shed a couple of stone, by kicking his sorry ass to the curb!
    This is women logic.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting your girl to be the best they can be. It's only a bad thing if he starts calling her piggy ect.. and insults her. A fair few women are happy to want to change their man for the better.
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    (Original post by xleoanimusx)
    It depends how picky you are. I'm extremely picky, some people aren't. For me, certain things can be deal breakers, like I will NEVER date a smoker. I don't think it makes anyone a bad person, everyone is different and you have the right to choose someone that suits your desires, exactly as you see fit. No one is obliged to be with anyone if they aren't perfect for them, if that's what they desire.

    Yeah I guess. I don't really think there's anything wrong with being picky as long as you're realistic/not hypocritical. For example, I had a friend who didn't date until she was 21. Up until this, she was always lusting over guys, their abs, facebooking stalking ever relatively cute guy she knew, overanalyzing the slightest interaction, etc. She would always complain about how no guys ever liked her and seemed to expect a gorgeous dream guy to drop at her feet, despite being very overweight, eating very unhealthily, not taking care of her skin, and not dressing in a flattering manner (though this was because of her weight, I guess). She was also very clingy and jealous, she would get mad when I hung out with my friends from school (she graduated before me) and our friendship ended when she got mad that I thought her birthday was august 31 instead of the 30th despite have worked 11-12 hours shifts the previous two days (and I had gotten her a present, I hadn't completely forgotten) and she didn't speak to me for two weeks.
    Anyway, I think sometimes people have unrealistic expectations.
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    It just depends what kind of guy you want. If you're not willing to shift the weight then don't be picky about your men.
    If you shift the weight (all of it, not just a few flimsy pounds) then you can afford to up your standards.

    Plus if you're busty and carrying a lot of weight then those boobs go to waste. You'd look much better slimmer even if your boobs get smaller. It's all about proportion. Much rather a C cup on a size 6/8 than an E on a size 12/14.
 
 
 
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