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    (Original post by BADBOY89)
    My personal reasons:

    1) I am a Christian, that is to say, a follower of Jesus Christ.

    2) I believe God made sex for us to enjoy but he has placed it in the boundaries of a committed relationship such as marriage.

    3) I think it's worth the wait. I have heard so many couples who had sex before marriage say 'I wish we had waited'. Waiting develops qualities like patience and self-control whilst in the 'In a Relationship' and 'Engaged' stages.

    4) If I aim for the bed when I am in a relationship, how does that make me a good giver? I am thinking of what I can give my girlfriend and wife-to-be, not what I can receive from her. Treating women as sex tools to satisfy my sexual lust is a big no no. People say that women should not be treated as sex objects, yet fail to realise that this is precisely what sex before marriage does.

    5) If a relationship does not work out, it is much more difficult for the couple, especially for the girl, to accept the break-up. Emotional pain for broken-up couples who have had premarital sex is much bigger than for those who have not had sex before marriage.

    God bless you, guys. Take care.
    Point 4)- you know girls enjoy and want sex too right? Saying that having premarital sex is seeing women as sex objects is sexist view, ONLY wanting sex; then yeah that would be using them and treating them as an object, unless that's only what they want (I know of successful friends with benefits etc) but if you're in a long term relationship and refuse sex because you aren't married, that's an immature and relationship damaging factor. A good giver? Hows about give an orgasm bro.
    Point 5) more sexism! Worse for the girl? Stop stereotyping.
    You know that break ups are emotional no matter what? (And not having sex before marriage is a reason relationships can break down, js) and you're acting like marriages can't be broken, well they can.


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    I always wonder how many people who have waited until they're married to have sex, discover on their wedding night that they just aren't sexually compatible in the slightest. A good few I imagine.
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    IMO waiting until marriage is ridiculous. Sex doesn't make you impure and if you find out you dont enjoy sex with your new husband or wife than you're screwed.
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    Having sex before the marriage? why not? We are not living in a prudish period of time anymore, where having sex before the marriage was regarded as a crime.
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    (Original post by kumon)
    Those that wait till marriage have much lower divorce rate than those sluts that dont, that's my biggest reason.
    Evidence?
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    (Original post by catsis)
    The guy then broke up with me because I wouldn't put out
    This could easily be said the other way around: "he broke up with me because I obviously didn't think anything of him to even do the most basic requirement of a relationship"

    (Original post by skinnylove25)
    because where I'm from, most guys only think about sex, they pretend to be nice and everything until they get sex and then they break up with the girl ..
    That's a worrying stereotype... Why would they break up with someone who gives them sex, if that's what they want?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My virginity is something I'm proud of and I'll never lose it for anyone except my spouse
    Virginity has no inherent value. It is purely societal. Sex with a virgin is 99% much much worse than with someone who's had it before.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Silly to marry someone before doing anything sexual with them? I would say the opposite. How do you know that person isn't using you?
    You don't. How do you know you aren't using him by making him wait (this is one of the worst things you can do to a guy)?

    (Original post by ppatience)
    I think the regret that would come with the realisation that I've given it to someone who doesn't care about me would kill me.someone once told me that regret is like cancer,it eats you from the inside then kills you fully.I try to avoid it as much as I can.but this doesn't mean I don't live my life to the fullest.i do many things on impulse but not giving up my virginity.
    That is the most stupid thing I've ever heard. Did the person who told you that have cancer? Or do you believe anything you're told?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want it to be special
    It's only as special as you think it is. There is no absolute 'special' value to a way of having sex. Sex is sex.

    (Original post by pamelagiggs)
    It's given me peace of mind in marriage and I think young people should make that choice.
    Why do you think young people should do the same as you? Do you see yourself as better than (any) others?

    (Original post by SiminaM)
    Also, I like to think that my husband would appreciate me 'only being his' which is a total cliche but hey, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone...
    You would be 'only his' regardless of whether you've had sex before. I think you mean to say something else

    (Original post by catsis)
    Truth is some men like to get the girl no-one was able to get and knowing that they're not going out with someone everyone had or could have had, if that makes sense. As a guy, if you're serious about settling down, you want to be proud of calling someone your wife. It's a sense of pride when it comes to 'show off' to your boys as well.
    As a guy, I'll say it how it is: All men want the hottest girl, the one only some are able to get. If a man 'gets' a hot girl, that is something not everyone could have had and is nothing to do with virginity.

    'Showing off a wife' would only be desirable if she was the hottest around, not if she was the most chaste.

    (Original post by catsis)
    I wouldn't worry about that. I have come to realise that when guys graduate and/or start to mature, they become more willing to wait.
    Because they are more desperate. You mean start to age not start to mature.

    (Original post by pamelagiggs)
    I understand the feeling guilty part perfectly. If I didn't wait till marriage to have sex, I wouldn't also have been able to handle the guilt.
    That's unlucky. Sex before marriage is not committing a crime...
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    I'm not religious (maybe borderline agnostic) but I wanted to wait until marriage to be sure that I'm not with a complete Buffoon. I've never had any relationship of any sort so maybe I'll change my mind eventually.
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    (Original post by BADBOY89)
    My personal reasons:

    1) I am a Christian, that is to say, a follower of Jesus Christ.

    2) I believe God made sex for us to enjoy but he has placed it in the boundaries of a committed relationship such as marriage.

    3) I think it's worth the wait. I have heard so many couples who had sex before marriage say 'I wish we had waited'. Waiting develops qualities like patience and self-control whilst in the 'In a Relationship' and 'Engaged' stages.

    4) If I aim for the bed when I am in a relationship, how does that make me a good giver? I am thinking of what I can give my girlfriend and wife-to-be, not what I can receive from her. Treating women as sex tools to satisfy my sexual lust is a big no no. People say that women should not be treated as sex objects, yet fail to realise that this is precisely what sex before marriage does.

    5) If a relationship does not work out, it is much more difficult for the couple, especially for the girl, to accept the break-up. Emotional pain for broken-up couples who have had premarital sex is much bigger than for those who have not had sex before marriage.

    God bless you, guys. Take care.
    Great reasons, I think the weak willed non-virgins can't handle this and are trying to taint your reasons, never listen to their foul lustful thoughts
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    i dont know, i just dont want to untill after im married i was brought up the old fashioned way haha thats probably why
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you know what? I'm a guy and I'm a virgin and I'm proud to say it. I'm happy with myself for not succumbing to peer pressure or how society thinks that men need to sleep around in order to look cool and tough. I think it's sad how men compete with each other in these worthless things. I have friends who tell me I'm 'missing out' but I don't care. I don't need to sleep around to have fun and never will. I expect my wife to be virgin too and so I'll also keep my side of the bargain. IMO guys who remain virgins till after marriage are the stronger ones as living in a society where there is constant temptation everywhere is extremely difficult, and I praise those who do not give in to those temptations. It takes a LOT of courage to do that. Especially when society is judging you 24/7. Well done for standing up for yourselves
    More guys like you are needed.
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    I love my wife. I don't know who she is yet but I know she will be an amazing person and she will have to put up with me. I'm a 20 year old male and I've had plenty of relationships including the pressure to have sex with them. But i don't know if any of these were going to be my wife until i actually marry them. I want to save a special part of me just for her. Sex is the most intimate form of physical affection and I want to share it with only one person.
    I don't know about the rest of you but I don't want to have sex with anybody else's wife so why have sex with anyone I'm not going to marry? People who want you to have sex will tell you you're a crazy religious nut because that means you supposedly have no reasoning behind your decision beside the fact that someone told you to do it. There are plenty of reasons not to have sex before marriage.
    I PROMISE you if everyone in this world waited to have sex after marriage the world would be a better place. There would be less children born into poverty, AIDS and other STDs would not be running rampant, I'm sure marriages would last longer. HELL the Trojan war wouldn't have happened.
    Don't let anyone convince you its stupid to wait to have sex after marriage.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by kumon)
    We always here why horny chavs and other people like AlphaLADs don't wait to have sex and I don't judge them either way as that's how they were brought up or view their morals...

    but what what are your personal reasons for waiting to have sex until after marriage?
    (Original post by kumon)
    Those that wait till marriage have much lower divorce rate than those sluts that dont, that's my biggest reason.
    Yeah, sure you don't judge...

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you know what? I'm a guy and I'm a virgin and I'm proud to say it. I'm happy with myself for not succumbing to peer pressure or how society thinks that men need to sleep around in order to look cool and tough. I think it's sad how men compete with each other in these worthless things. I have friends who tell me I'm 'missing out' but I don't care. I don't need to sleep around to have fun and never will. I expect my wife to be virgin too and so I'll also keep my side of the bargain. IMO guys who remain virgins till after marriage are the stronger ones as living in a society where there is constant temptation everywhere is extremely difficult, and I praise those who do not give in to those temptations. It takes a LOT of courage to do that. Especially when society is judging you 24/7. Well done for standing up for yourselves
    The trouble with both you guys is you can't just say "look, this is the right choice for me", you have to self congratulate, talk about how courageous and wonderful you are. You aren't having sex, you don't deserve a medal. Just live your life. Most people don't have sex "to look cool", they do it because it feels amazing, it's an incredible way to connect with someone.

    No one should be looked down on for their sexual choices. Yes you get **** for being a virgin, but that doesn't excuse you slut shaming ever.

    (Original post by catsis)
    Well I have always been a Catholic but I kind of deviated of it a bit when I went to college. Then I was open to the idea of having sex providing I was in a serious relationship. I got a few failed relationships in college so I didn't lose my virginity then.

    Then when I got to uni I got my first proper relationship and it still didn't feel right to do it so I didn't. The guy then broke up with me because I wouldn't put out and as I moved on with life I got to understand that this is all young guys want. They just want to sleep with as many girls as they can and maybe be 'virgin slayers' sometimes too.

    On top of that, last year I got much closer to my religion and I just decided it was better to wait.
    See, this is the kind of black/white thinking that you tend to get preached at you (I was raised Christian but am an atheist). Just because a guy wants sex, that doesn't mean that's all he wants. Most adults, male and female, would expect sex as part of a loving relationship. To think that automatically means that is their only concern is ridiculous, almost everyone will have a multitude of conditions, of varying importance, for a relationship. Real life isn't black/white, God/Devil, sin/virtue. How can you say all young guys want is sex, when so many are in monogamous relationships?
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    I love my wife. I don't know who she is yet but I know she will be an amazing person and she will have to put up with me. I'm a 20 year old male and I've had plenty of relationships including the pressure to have sex with them. But i don't know if any of these were going to be my wife until i actually marry them. I want to save a special part of me just for her. Sex is the most intimate form of physical affection and I want to share it with only one person.
    I don't know about the rest of you but I don't want to have sex with anybody else's wife so why have sex with anyone I'm not going to marry? People who want you to have sex will tell you you're a crazy religious nut because that means you supposedly have no reasoning behind your decision beside the fact that someone told you to do it. There are plenty of reasons not to have sex before marriage.
    I PROMISE you if everyone in this world waited to have sex after marriage the world would be a better place. There would be less children born into poverty, AIDS and other STDs would not be running rampant, I'm sure marriages would last longer. HELL the Trojan war wouldn't have happened.
    Don't let anyone convince you its stupid to wait to have sex after marriage.
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    (Original post by Scoobiedoobiedo)
    I always wonder how many people who have waited until they're married to have sex, discover on their wedding night that they just aren't sexually compatible in the slightest. A good few I imagine.
    Sexual compatibility isn't something that just clicks, it takes time and that time and effort and exploring is something a new married couple can enjoy
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, sure you don't judge...



    The trouble with both you guys is you can't just say "look, this is the right choice for me", you have to self congratulate, talk about how courageous and wonderful you are. You aren't having sex, you don't deserve a medal. Just live your life. Most people don't have sex "to look cool", they do it because it feels amazing, it's an incredible way to connect with someone.

    No one should be looked down on for their sexual choices. Yes you get **** for being a virgin, but that doesn't excuse you slut shaming ever.



    See, this is the kind of black/white thinking that you tend to get preached at you (I was raised Christian but am an atheist). Just because a guy wants sex, that doesn't mean that's all he wants. Most adults, male and female, would expect sex as part of a loving relationship. To think that automatically means that is their only concern is ridiculous, almost everyone will have a multitude of conditions, of varying importance, for a relationship. Real life isn't black/white, God/Devil, sin/virtue. How can you say all young guys want is sex, when so many are in monogamous relationships?
    We aren't "self congratulating" or patting ourselves on the back, and the Christians your slamming don't judge those who do have sex. The most respected and remembered people in Church history started off as the worst sinners.
    You know what else is an incredible way to connect with someone? Going out, hanging out with their friends, or playing a board game, no relationship NEEDS Sex.
    "Most people have sex to look cool"? I really hope that was a joke because thats definitely not how society or anyone I know views it.
    No one should be slut shaming, and if people want to be proud of their decisions why is that so wrong? No one tells the person bragging about their sexual conquests to quit patting themselves on the back?

    If you're atheist i'm sure you have your reasons and have had some ****ty experiences with ignorant, judging, hateful "Christians", but in the end what really matters is that you live your life not for yourself but for others.
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    (Original post by xylas)
    This could easily be said the other way around: "he broke up with me because I obviously didn't think anything of him to even do the most basic requirement of a relationship"
    Basic requirement of a relationship? How old are you?

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    See, this is the kind of black/white thinking that you tend to get preached at you (I was raised Christian but am an atheist). Just because a guy wants sex, that doesn't mean that's all he wants. Most adults, male and female, would expect sex as part of a loving relationship. To think that automatically means that is their only concern is ridiculous, almost everyone will have a multitude of conditions, of varying importance, for a relationship. Real life isn't black/white, God/Devil, sin/virtue. How can you say all young guys want is sex, when so many are in monogamous relationships?
    When you say 'it's off the table' and they run it means that's all they want.

    It doesn't matter that they are in relationships some just end up 'officiating' things because it's 'sex on tap' or something to pass the time. So many young guys end up in relationships that they have no intention to be in the future. A few relationships end up making it but it's not norm for young people to stay together for a long time in this day and age.
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    (Original post by kumon)
    Great reasons, I think the weak willed non-virgins can't handle this and are trying to taint your reasons, never listen to their foul lustful thoughts
    (Original post by kumon)
    Those that wait till marriage have much lower divorce rate than those sluts that dont, that's my biggest reason.
    Out of curiosity, OP, is seeking validation for your lifestyle choices the whole point of this thread? It seems like it, given that you seem to derive comfort from people who share your disdain for those who don't choose to lead sexually dysfunctional lives.
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    (Original post by catsis)
    Basic requirement of a relationship? How old are you?
    Old enough to know not to ask a person's age on the internet.

    If you disagree that sex is needed for a relationship I'm guessing you've never had sex before.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by ZaneHC)
    We aren't "self congratulating" or patting ourselves on the back, and the Christians your slamming don't judge those who do have sex. The most respected and remembered people in Church history started off as the worst sinners.
    You know what else is an incredible way to connect with someone? Going out, hanging out with their friends, or playing a board game, no relationship NEEDS Sex.

    "Most people have sex to look cool"? I really hope that was a joke because thats definitely not how society or anyone I know views it.
    No one should be slut shaming, and if people want to be proud of their decisions why is that so wrong? No one tells the person bragging about their sexual conquests to quit patting themselves on the back?

    If you're atheist i'm sure you have your reasons and have had some ****ty experiences with ignorant, judging, hateful "Christians", but in the end what really matters is that you live your life not for yourself but for others.
    Did you not see I quoted someone having a go at "sluts" there? Of course Christians often judge people who have sex, I'm not saying all Christians do, but many do. I do those things too, but lets face it, if you can equate the fun of a board game to the fun of your sex life, you've got a pretty bad sex life. Or one hell of a board game, perhaps. All relationships are different, but many people would feel very frustrated and unloved if their long term partner refused to have sex with them.

    Yes they do, frequently.

    Not really, I still have Christian family and I don't resent them at all, my personal experience of religion isn't that negative at all. My dislike of religion more comes from scientific rationalism and my studies into history and politics, which have led me to conclude organised religion is generally a negative force in the world, promoting hatred, division, exploitation and ignorance.

    (Original post by catsis)
    Basic requirement of a relationship? How old are you?

    When you say 'it's off the table' and they run it means that's all they want.

    It doesn't matter that they are in relationships some just end up 'officiating' things because it's 'sex on tap' or something to pass the time. So many young guys end up in relationships that they have no intention to be in the future. A few relationships end up making it but it's not norm for young people to stay together for a long time in this day and age.
    I'm 23, I'd say that is the case for most relationships. You realise people have more sex as they get out their teens, not less, right?

    No it doesn't. I'd consider ending a relationship if a girl said that. Not because that's all I want, but because if she says that she either-

    - Isn't sexually attracted to me, so the relationship doesn't really have a future.
    - Is playing silly games, in which case she's probably a bit immature for me.
    - Doesn't believe in sex before marriage, in which case she probably has incompatable beliefs with me.

    Like I say, things are more nuanced, there's more than one reason a guy might do that. If you sat down and explained that you need to feel loved and safe before we had sex, and that might take some time, that would be one thing. I'd totally understand, and go with it if I liked you enough, but just to dictate to me "sex is off the table"? Nope.

    You can never be certain of how things will end up. It doesn't mean the relationship wasn't worthwhile, or that you were just doing it to "pass the time". Again, this is dichotomous thinking, the idea that just because the relationship didn't work out, he never had any feelings for you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Did you not see I quoted someone having a go at "sluts" there? Of course Christians often judge people who have sex, I'm not saying all Christians do, but many do. I do those things too, but lets face it, if you can equate the fun of a board game to the fun of your sex life, you've got a pretty bad sex life. Or one hell of a board game, perhaps. All relationships are different, but many people would feel very frustrated and unloved if their long term partner refused to have sex with them.

    Yes they do, frequently.

    Not really, I still have Christian family and I don't resent them at all, my personal experience of religion isn't that negative at all. My dislike of religion more comes from scientific rationalism and my studies into history and politics, which have led me to conclude organised religion is generally a negative force in the world, promoting hatred, division, exploitation and ignorance.



    I'm 23, I'd say that is the case for most relationships. You realise people have more sex as they get out their teens, not less, right?

    No it doesn't. I'd consider ending a relationship if a girl said that. Not because that's all I want, but because if she says that she either-

    - Isn't sexually attracted to me, so the relationship doesn't really have a future.
    - Is playing silly games, in which case she's probably a bit immature for me.
    - Doesn't believe in sex before marriage, in which case she probably has incompatable beliefs with me.

    Like I say, things are more nuanced, there's more than one reason a guy might do that. If you sat down and explained that you need to feel loved and safe before we had sex, and that might take some time, that would be one thing. I'd totally understand, and go with it if I liked you enough, but just to dictate to me "sex is off the table"? Nope.

    You can never be certain of how things will end up. It doesn't mean the relationship wasn't worthwhile, or that you were just doing it to "pass the time". Again, this is dichotomous thinking, the idea that just because the relationship didn't work out, he never had any feelings for you.
    Yes I saw the slut shaming but that is not representative of any Christian belief. No need to talk about my sex life. All relationships are different and people need different things to feel loved, but no one NEEDS sex. All of my long term relationships including my current one is without sex and my partner is completely understanding and I make her feel more than loved in many different ways. If you find it hard to show someone how much you care about them without intercourse than thats pretty sad.


    Its good to hear your generally experiences with Christians aren't negative. But I believe your scientific views and scientific rationalism and studies into history and politics are biased. Sure there have been plenty of blunders in history in the name of Christianity, but Christianity and organized religion are the most positive forces in the world, promoting love, and the unity of mankind. As for the science, the first universities were started by the Church, and it is ridiculous to believe that all of the universe and all of its complexities and mysteries are the results of randomness. The basic living conditions on this planet are so fragile and finely tuned, and people are supposed to believe that no one designed or planned it.


    I understand not wanting to date someone of your own beliefs but if you truly loved the girl and she wanted to have sex with you but only after marriage you wouldn't be willing to put your needs on hold for her and needs. You don't have to want to have sex with someone to show them you're sexually attracted to them.


    What is wrong with the idea of exercising self control, patience and sacrifice for those you love?
    Tell me of ANY negative repercussions to trying this?
 
 
 
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