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    (Original post by Sluice)
    I wanted to spend time together like couples do. Yet she seemed like the idea of that was pretty awful, not even like she 'would rather not' or something softer. Of course I misread the signs but now I am left wondering if I never saw her again would I be bothered? And the answer to that is no.
    ok so spend some time with other people and re evaluate where you stand with her. no need to tell her you never want to see her again, just don't contact her for a few weeks. or months. however long it takes. Tell her you need some time on your own.
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    how could you possibly know that though?
    The way she shot him down, His eventual reaction makes me wonder if there ever was a friendship. I have a feeling he is not going to regret his decision if he walks away
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    ok so spend some time with other people and re evaluate where you stand with her. no need to tell her you never want to see her again, just don't contact her for a few weeks. or months. however long it takes. Tell her you need some time on your own.
    We live together so that's quite difficult.
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    (Original post by Sluice)
    But now she keeps asking why I'm acting differently, and in all honesty sex doesn't bother me. I just wanted her to be someone who I could be close with.
    It's very simple:

    "I'm sorry, I don't deal with rejection that well, right now I just feel irritated because I have feelings for you and they're pointless, you're not interested in me romantically, so I need some space, if I get to a place where I can be a friend with you I'll let you know ."
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    (Original post by the eurasiannation)
    It just seems to be an entirely superficial friendship. Maybe that's because I don't really have any friendship dynamics with girls in which they are a best friend. OP himself would probably be best placed to answer.

    The fact that she was so blunt and seemingly inconsiderate of his feelings when shooting him down itself contradicts her status as a best friend IMO.
    well i dont know where you got that from. he said they have been best friends for a year, and they obviously spent enough time together for him to develop feelings towards her.
    maybe he just interpreted it that way because his feelings were hurt. i doubt she could have meant to be insensitive. but then i dont know much about either of them so i cant tell.
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    Not really, but you should as heck weren't her friend.
    (Original post by Sluice)
    Considering she isn't exactly a stranger to sleeping with disgusting guys who she admits that she cant believe she ever looked twice at, it's just rubbing salt in the wound.
    Okay, changed my mind, you're a jerk.
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    (Original post by the eurasiannation)
    It just seems to be an entirely superficial friendship. Maybe that's because I don't really have any friendship dynamics with girls in which they are a best friend. OP himself would probably be best placed to answer.

    The fact that she was so blunt and seemingly inconsiderate of his feelings when shooting him down itself contradicts her status as a best friend IMO.
    EXACTLY!!!!!!!
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    (Original post by Sluice)
    We live together so that's quite difficult.
    you live together???

    jeez.

    i dont know maybe crash in with a friend for a few weeks. or move back with your parents if you need to.
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    (Original post by Green_Pink)
    Not really, but you should as heck weren't her friend.
    Okay, changed my mind, you're a jerk.
    Well look. These are things she has said to me. Not things I have decided about other people. And how the **** do you know what I was?
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    (Original post by there's too much love)
    It's very simple:

    "I'm sorry, I don't deal with rejection that well, right now I just feel irritated because I have feelings for you and they're pointless, you're not interested in me romantically, so I need some space, if I get to a place where I can be a friend with you I'll let you know ."
    This ^
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    (Original post by Ekemini)
    The way she shot him down, His eventual reaction makes me wonder if there ever was a friendship. I have a feeling he is not going to regret his decision if he walks away
    ok well i have been through rejection and i know how blunt it can sound when someone says they are not interested in you. afterwards i felt as though i could never face them again. it doesnt make them a bad person. :dontknow:
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    Nope, just delicate/needy; probably best to distance yourself by the sound of it e.g. until you no longer have those feelings/have found someone/man up :beard:
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    (Original post by Sluice)
    So I've been best friends with a girl for over a year now. I asked her three days ago if she wanted to go out (like an actual date) and she told me pretty bluntly no and that she never would want to. However she still clearly wants to be friends but I just can't be bothered. I now find talking and spending time with her tedious and I know I shouldn't but I do and I can't change that. Basically I wouldn't care if she never saw me again. Am I a jerk?

    To clarify further it's not like I feel she had no right to turn me down or anything and I find guys like that to be pathetic, but since she has my interest in any sort of friendship has gone down the toilet and I feel like I should just tell her I don't care anymore.
    max?
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    (Original post by Sluice)
    Well look. These are things she has said to me. Not things I have decided about other people.
    You sound like you're very judgemental about her having slept around. If you're someone's best friend you're meant to be supportive of them, not going around criticising their decisions. Also, if you've been that close for a year, and you live together, she's probably grown to trust you a pretty huge amount. The idea that you were actually just getting close to her so you could try and date her seems pretty disgusting if not downright scary to me
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    (Original post by sherlockfan)
    well i dont know where you got that from. he said they have been best friends for a year, and they obviously spent enough time together for him to develop feelings towards her.
    maybe he just interpreted it that way because his feelings were hurt. i doubt she could have meant to be insensitive. but then i dont know much about either of them so i cant tell.
    That's probably my own view of people leading me to come to that conclusion. In any case OP is the only one that can make the decision. Did she feel like a true and genuine friend? (and you will know yourself whether she is or not) If you do think she is a true friend then maybe take a break from being in her company etc. and work and ways to better yourself and increase your confidence. I just feel that if she has known you for a year within that close of a capacity then she wouldn't have reacted in that way.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    max?
    Cindy? No really I'm not 'Max'
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    (Original post by Sluice)
    We live together so that's quite difficult.
    You live together?!!!!?? Oh ****, oh ****, oh ****. OH ****!!
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    (Original post by Green_Pink)
    You sound like you're very judgemental about her having slept around. If you're someone's best friend you're meant to be supportive of them, not going around criticising their decisions. Also, if you've been that close for a year, and you live together, she's probably grown to trust you a pretty huge amount. The idea that you were actually just getting close to her so you could try and date her seems pretty disgusting if not downright scary to me
    I'm not judgemental. It just hurts when she acted so disgusted about me, when she clearly isn't averse to it in general. If she had been kinder it wouldn't have mattered. I sleep around too, but the last time I said no to someone, I did my best to make sure they felt like there was nothing wrong with them, even though they weren't even my friend, just some girl that stalked me

    And no I didn't make friends with her just to date her. I actually only spent time with her after falling out with another friend, and during the course of our time together developed feelings to the point of feeling genuinely miserable when she wasn't around during christmas.
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    (Original post by Sluice)
    So I've been best friends with a girl for over a year now. I asked her three days ago if she wanted to go out (like an actual date) and she told me pretty bluntly no and that she never would want to. However she still clearly wants to be friends but I just can't be bothered. I now find talking and spending time with her tedious and I know I shouldn't but I do and I can't change that. Basically I wouldn't care if she never saw me again. Am I a jerk?

    To clarify further it's not like I feel she had no right to turn me down or anything and I find guys like that to be pathetic, but since she has my interest in any sort of friendship has gone down the toilet and I feel like I should just tell her I don't care anymore.
    It's only three days ago that she rejected you; cool down a bit and reassess the situation when you're over being hurt. It's natural to be cheesed off, even subliminaly, after being spurned, but it's time to put all those feelings aside and be a good friend.
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    (Original post by Ozark)
    It's only three days ago that she rejected you; cool down a bit and reassess the situation when you're over being hurt. It's natural to be cheesed off, even subliminaly, after being spurned, but it's time to put all those feelings aside and be a good friend.
    But I don't want to be friends. I'm not being dramatic. I just don't care any more.
 
 
 
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