Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

all my life I have been told I chat *******s, how do I stop this? watch

    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Another)
    I've never seen you so vicious and evil before :lol:
    I have my moments! Or rather, I have moments where I don't manage to moderate myself :p:

    I'm in a large quandary about my summer plans at the moment, and it's driving me insane! Plus I'm going stir crazy waiting for uni to restart, and am lonely and recently single!
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by samba)
    I have my moments! Or rather, I have moments where I don't manage to moderate myself :p:

    I'm in a large quandary about my summer plans at the moment, and it's driving me insane! Plus I'm going stir crazy waiting for uni to restart, and am lonely and recently single!
    oh no what happened with the girlfriend

    I'm also waiting for uni to start, I need some structure in my life to stop me spending all day watching jeremy kyle and judge judy


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    he's positively callous to me these days
    These are probably questions you've heard many times before but, without meaning to sound rude...

    Could you not just not use any internet forums for a day?

    Could you not just refuse to visit these strange online websites which use terms such as "Redpill" or "Alpha male", which does absolutely no good to society at all? (And of which, the rest of the population have no clue what they're on about in the first place?)

    Could you not just see men and women as individuals, who may or may not subscribe to the same ideology as you? Many of the theories you come up with for example, don't apply to me in the slightest.

    Do you have an attention seeking disorder?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    he's positively callous to me these days
    I'm not callous to you lol. I sympathise with your lack of a connection to reality, your idiotic obsession with being 'alpha' and a 'high value male' and whatever. You're an easy target though; I don't choose easy targets.

    (Original post by Odd socks)
    oh no what happened with the girlfriend

    I'm also waiting for uni to start, I need some structure in my life to stop me spending all day watching jeremy kyle and judge judy


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Ahh, I didn't go to Canada over the holidays to meet her parents, and basically I dunno, she's thinking of transferring to uni back there and didn't think I was serious enough about it or whatever. Said she distance is too much and didn't want to be exclusive or stop meeting guys who lived closer. I told her to gtfo, and that was that, we haven't spoken since. I dunno how I could be MORE serious about a relationship than I was about that one... I even let her stayover many nights!

    And yep, running out of tv shows...
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by samba)
    I have my moments! Or rather, I have moments where I don't manage to moderate myself :p:

    I'm in a large quandary about my summer plans at the moment, and it's driving me insane! Plus I'm going stir crazy waiting for uni to restart, and am lonely and recently single!
    Hang on, restart? How much of a Christmas holiday did you get, dear lord... I've been back almost a month now = =

    I didn't realise that breaking up with a girlfriend could turn you into such a brutal person with no filters! I'll be sure to avoid such events in the future.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    'Attraction is amoral'-This is more deeply thought out by r/theredpill and the Manosphere than the BB Misc and original PUAs. It essentially relies, perhaps falsely, on the science of evolutionary psychology (often abbreviated by myself and others to 'evo-psych'.

    The theory is that men are naturally polygamous and desire the most fertile female with greatest aesthetics, optimal waist-hip ratio and maternal traits for potential offspring. Equally women are naturally hypergamous and seek out the optimal mate for first healthiest/fittest genes for their offspring, afterwards security of themselves and their offspring. In a modern/urban environment, this translates into both emotional and financial security for a family, after finding the most physically fit, aesthetic male for sex.
    I think it's good that you've noted that the evo-psych these theories lean on might be false. In many ways it doesn't make a whole lot of sense that men and women had different evolutionary pressures with respect to monogamy/polygamy. I'm not an expert, but I feel comfortable engaging anyway because I'm not sure your tutors are experts either. Usually species as a whole are either monogamous or polygamous, and the males and females don't usually fight over it. I think your idea of hypergamy is kind of a damp squib so I'm not really going to approach it.

    In any case, there are fairly compelling arguments that men are not naturally polygamous, or at least that it is not that simple. First is that babies are relatively rare, take 9 months and a lot of danger to make, and then need a lot of looking after (unlike tadpoles, for example). Having a monogamous bond, at least during those early infant years, is likely to have been selected for because the job is much easier with two people. As I understand, you are suggesting that the male part of that job is simply delegated to a beta male (this is your alpha ****s beta bucks concept), which is unlikely to have been selected for because I think it's fairly trivial that people care more for their own kids than other people's. I am curious to see the research your mentors are espousing, because their conclusions are counter-intuitive in many ways and they do require science, not just-so stories (if you haven't looked up and understood this term, you are likely to be reasoning inaccurately when it comes to evo-psych).


    tl;dr it is a way of saying that there is no point whining if my gf leaves me for a hotter, richer guy, or trying to rationalise how she could be so heartless/selfish/shallow etc. because the lady wants the manliest man and, unless exercising higher self-control over awareness of the limbic vs. frontal/parietal lobes like a RedPill woman, cannot help her actions!
    OK, I should have clarified. I understand the idea of attraction being amoral, I just think it's so trivial that what I don't understand is why you keep repeating it.

    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    see you, keep applying humanistic values to a primal response. This does not work for the vast majority of individuals placed in a sexual scenario, of either gender. We cannot compare the reactions in the public and professional spheres to the private and sexual spheres, considering we are largely socially conditioned to be civilised and exercise self-control over our primitive instincts. Nor does it work when the fight-or-flight response has been sufficiently activated from a high-stress situation. See Attraction is Amoral*
    I think you are understating how much of our social conditioning comes from evolutionary pressures. See the above link for a kind of classic example of what your PUA friends might think is a "social construct," actually being conceived much earlier in the history of our species. So no, I am not convinced that those prehistoric men were beta males, I am not convinced I am, or you are, or that anyone is. In fact, our ability to naturally form more complex and fluid social structures is probably one of the things that was selected for that made us the dominant species on the planet. In absence of you giving me specific evidence, my initial reaction is that what you are actually espousing is anti-evolutionary psychology, if you get what I mean.


    Perhaps. I wouldn't have become a greater degree depressed and paranoid around social situations if it painted the rosiest picture of humanity, y'know...
    I'm trying to help you become more rational here, and I honestly think this is a classic example of confirmation bias. You are seeing an unpleasant picture of humanity when you interact socially because that is what you have trained yourself to look for by reading PUA blogs.

    Reading:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just-so_story
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Another)
    Hang on, restart? How much of a Christmas holiday did you get, dear lord... I've been back almost a month now = =

    I didn't realise that breaking up with a girlfriend could turn you into such a brutal person with no filters! I'll be sure to avoid such events in the future.
    Lol, I went back for 3 exams, and am off until a week on Monday :/

    I've always had sharp edges! I mainly keep them wrapped in polystyrene though. And how can a good woman not make one a softer person?!

    Solve my summer quandary for me.

    btw, 'do you have an attention seeking disorder' Was that a rhetorical question lol?
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by samba)
    I'm not callous to you lol. I sympathise with your lack of a connection to reality, your idiotic obsession with being 'alpha' and a 'high value male' and whatever. You're an easy target though; I don't choose easy targets.



    Ahh, I didn't go to Canada over the holidays to meet her parents, and basically I dunno, she's thinking of transferring to uni back there and didn't think I was serious enough about it or whatever. Said she distance is too much and didn't want to be exclusive or stop meeting guys who lived closer. I told her to gtfo, and that was that, we haven't spoken since. I dunno how I could be MORE serious about a relationship than I was about that one... I even let her stayover many nights!

    And yep, running out of tv shows...
    hmm, doesn't sound good, it probably wouldn't have worked out if you tried to have a long distance relationship. haha im guessing serious relationships aren't your thing

    I'm putting in overtime at work to give myself something to do but I do feel like I just want to get back to uni and learn something now


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Odd socks)
    hmm, doesn't sound good, it probably wouldn't have worked out if you tried to have a long distance relationship. haha im guessing serious relationships aren't your thing

    I'm putting in overtime at work to give myself something to do but I do feel like I just want to get back to uni and learn something now


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    I was being serious though!!! In my own special way lol. Ah well. Work = money. Money = good
    Offline

    13
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by samba)
    I was being serious though!!! In my own special way lol. Ah well. Work = money. Money = good
    haha really? if I'm sleeping with a guy the bare minimum I expect is to stay the night

    yeah it's good, gonna be debt-free (apart from student loan) by the end of February


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by samba)
    Lol, I went back for 3 exams, and am off until a week on Monday :/

    I've always had sharp edges! I mainly keep them wrapped in polystyrene though. And how can a good woman not make one a softer person?!

    Solve my summer quandary for me.

    btw, 'do you have an attention seeking disorder' Was that a rhetorical question lol?
    100% srs - I know some people that need to have their point validated 24/7, because they constantly crave attention and affection, or something like that... so they will do absolutely every single obscene attention seeking thing they find. I do try my best not to get irritated by them, and I have a sneaky suspicion that Riku's the same

    Are you a fresher? Never seen such a lax timetable before lmao

    Oh, well how would I know, I've never dated a woman before! And of my friends who did, they didn't exactly come out the other side as better people. Whenever I'm in a vicious mood, I just do my best to stay away from people :lol:

    Summer? Eh. I got nothing much planned either, just moving into my new house pretty much. I'll spend the summer making it my cosy little den... Could you try for a summer job or internship?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Another)
    100% srs - I know some people that need to have their point validated 24/7, because they constantly crave attention and affection, or something like that... so they will do absolutely every single obscene attention seeking thing they find. I do try my best not to get irritated by them, and I have a sneaky suspicion that Riku's the same

    Are you a fresher? Never seen such a lax timetable before lmao

    Oh, well how would I know, I've never dated a woman before! And of my friends who did, they didn't exactly come out the other side as better people. Whenever I'm in a vicious mood, I just do my best to stay away from people :lol:

    Summer? Eh. I got nothing much planned either, just moving into my new house pretty much. I'll spend the summer making it my cosy little den... Could you try for a summer job or internship?
    Yep, you just encapsulated riku. Don't get irritated, it's more amusing than anything in my opinion!

    Yep, I'm a fresher! Though I have my own flat, so things are pretty calm

    Haha, I'm constantly staying away or biting my tongue! Probably my biggest insecurity is that I'll hurt people so I drive them away or cut contact.

    Ah, I have plans! I was going to go on an Orca research internship in NZ, but now my best friend of manyyyyyyyy years who I've been in love with forever but I don't get to see a whole lot as she's from Iowa is basically begging me to go to the Galapagos Islands with her. So, it's either driving boats around looking for and swimming with Orcas which I love love love, or great hot weather and sex and a 'chance' to make something, though I don't want to particularly ruin a friendship either! But then I don't want to let her down as she's pretty desperate for me to go And the Galapagos is a pretty exotic destination too! Not to mention, both options will cost an absolute fortune.... No idea what to do!
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Another)
    These are probably questions you've heard many times before but, without meaning to sound rude...

    Could you not just not use any internet forums for a day?

    Could you not just refuse to visit these strange online websites which use terms such as "Redpill" or "Alpha male", which does absolutely no good to society at all? (And of which, the rest of the population have no clue what they're on about in the first place?)

    Could you not just see men and women as individuals, who may or may not subscribe to the same ideology as you? Many of the theories you come up with for example, don't apply to me in the slightest.

    Do you have an attention seeking disorder?
    1) I don't believe I have actually looked at r/theredpill since either last Sunday or the Sunday before, what has happened is their views on the world keep cropping up in any other scenario I try to engage in. For example I was reading Tender is the Night by Fitzgerald in 3rd year, and was like 'yep-hypergamy ugh'

    2) I have considered the dangers of hetero-normativity in the last month, which I'd previously failed to understand. The theories don't appeal to me, they're revolting. They're scary. That's why I think they're true, better safe than sorry. And I don't think anyone would find them appealing, but again morality is often a flexible construct and people have been known to rationalise their immoral actions, especially where sex is involved

    3) Anxiety problem, exacerbated by anything like this or high stress, lack of sleep etc.=highly impulsive, TSR is a major avoidance 'safety behaviour'. Depressive tendencies put down as 'low mood' on my diagnosis likely make me incredibly needy, this was mentioned before my former account was shut down. Dyspraxia impeded my social skills and it is becoming increasingly apparent I may be on the autistic spectrum. Mum did not want me to be labeled as such when I was younger. I have no outlet for my feelings to the same degree as TSR, and sometimes I forget that I am interacting with other autonomous human beings.

    I am also slightly detached from reality for whatever reason :/ I am at once incredibly introverted in real life and would beat the living **** out of a policeman if I was drunk enough because I am God.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Another)
    100% srs - I know some people that need to have their point validated 24/7, because they constantly crave attention and affection, or something like that... so they will do absolutely every single obscene attention seeking thing they find. I do try my best not to get irritated by them, and I have a sneaky suspicion that Riku's the same

    Are you a fresher? Never seen such a lax timetable before lmao

    Oh, well how would I know, I've never dated a woman before! And of my friends who did, they didn't exactly come out the other side as better people. Whenever I'm in a vicious mood, I just do my best to stay away from people :lol:

    Summer? Eh. I got nothing much planned either, just moving into my new house pretty much. I'll spend the summer making it my cosy little den... Could you try for a summer job or internship?
    that's just chronic insecurity/emotional immaturity, or neediness. Although it is more common amongst those with Borderline Personality Disorder, depression and those on the anxiety spectrum. It can occur in more severe cases of ASD/Aspergers and ADHD, particularly younger individuals (16 or younger).
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Profesh)
    Oh, Christ; the resident paranoid AI has gone rogue again. Can we not establish a dedicated sub-forum for this kind of pseudo-intellectual w**k?
    haha why am I Artificial Intelligence now?
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by samba)
    I'm not callous to you lol. I sympathise with your lack of a connection to reality, your idiotic obsession with being 'alpha' and a 'high value male' and whatever. You're an easy target though; I don't choose easy targets.



    Ahh, I didn't go to Canada over the holidays to meet her parents, and basically I dunno, she's thinking of transferring to uni back there and didn't think I was serious enough about it or whatever. Said she distance is too much and didn't want to be exclusive or stop meeting guys who lived closer. I told her to gtfo, and that was that, we haven't spoken since. I dunno how I could be MORE serious about a relationship than I was about that one... I even let her stayover many nights!

    And yep, running out of tv shows...
    mm, well thanks for that still seems that you do not talk to me as either a) a friend or b) an adult like the rest of them. :/
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by SmashConcept)
    I think it's good that you've noted that the evo-psych these theories lean on might be false. In many ways it doesn't make a whole lot of sense that men and women had different evolutionary pressures with respect to monogamy/polygamy. I'm not an expert, but I feel comfortable engaging anyway because I'm not sure your tutors are experts either. Usually species as a whole are either monogamous or polygamous, and the males and females don't usually fight over it. I think your idea of hypergamy is kind of a damp squib so I'm not really going to approach it.

    In any case, there are fairly compelling arguments that men are not naturally polygamous, or at least that it is not that simple. First is that babies are relatively rare, take 9 months and a lot of danger to make, and then need a lot of looking after (unlike tadpoles, for example). Having a monogamous bond, at least during those early infant years, is likely to have been selected for because the job is much easier with two people. As I understand, you are suggesting that the male part of that job is simply delegated to a beta male (this is your alpha ****s beta bucks concept), which is unlikely to have been selected for because I think it's fairly trivial that people care more for their own kids than other people's. I am curious to see the research your mentors are espousing, because their conclusions are counter-intuitive in many ways and they do require science, not just-so stories (if you haven't looked up and understood this term, you are likely to be reasoning inaccurately when it comes to evo-psych).



    OK, I should have clarified. I understand the idea of attraction being amoral, I just think it's so trivial that what I don't understand is why you keep repeating it.


    I think you are understating how much of our social conditioning comes from evolutionary pressures. See the above link for a kind of classic example of what your PUA friends might think is a "social construct," actually being conceived much earlier in the history of our species. So no, I am not convinced that those prehistoric men were beta males, I am not convinced I am, or you are, or that anyone is. In fact, our ability to naturally form more complex and fluid social structures is probably one of the things that was selected for that made us the dominant species on the planet. In absence of you giving me specific evidence, my initial reaction is that what you are actually espousing is anti-evolutionary psychology, if you get what I mean.


    I'm trying to help you become more rational here, and I honestly think this is a classic example of confirmation bias. You are seeing an unpleasant picture of humanity when you interact socially because that is what you have trained yourself to look for by reading PUA blogs.

    Reading:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just-so_story
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Confirmation_bias
    will let this sink in, thanks for the suggestion

    edit: hypergamy a damp squib? It's a loose reapplication of the term outside the caste system of course.
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Another)
    100% srs - I know some people that need to have their point validated 24/7, because they constantly crave attention and affection, or something like that... so they will do absolutely every single obscene attention seeking thing they find. I do try my best not to get irritated by them, and I have a sneaky suspicion that Riku's the same

    Are you a fresher? Never seen such a lax timetable before lmao

    Oh, well how would I know, I've never dated a woman before! And of my friends who did, they didn't exactly come out the other side as better people. Whenever I'm in a vicious mood, I just do my best to stay away from people :lol:

    Summer? Eh. I got nothing much planned either, just moving into my new house pretty much. I'll spend the summer making it my cosy little den... Could you try for a summer job or internship?
    I really hope bolded is a joke
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    mm, well thanks for that still seems that you do not talk to me as either a) a friend or b) an adult like the rest of them. :/
    You're not a friend or an adult.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Smash Bandicoot)
    will let this sink in, thanks for the suggestion

    edit: hypergamy a damp squib? It's a loose reapplication of the term outside the caste system of course.
    Well the way you are talking about it, it basically means that women want a mate who isn't useless, which is kind of obvious. Obviously the original meaning of the term is not obvious.
 
 
 
Poll
Do you agree with the PM's proposal to cut tuition fees for some courses?
Useful resources
AtCTs

Ask the Community Team

Got a question about the site content or our moderation? Ask here.

Welcome Lounge

Welcome Lounge

We're a friendly bunch. Post here if you're new to TSR.

Groups associated with this forum:

View associated groups

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.