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Is "just be yourself" good advice watch

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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    Average girl but I wanna transition into the hot diva stage
    So are going to rush it and just throw together a loose facade of a hot diva or are you going to take your time to see if you can work yourself in to and honest-to-god genuine hot diva?
    I take it you've got the hot down already, so with a little patience the diva bit should come around easily if you've actually got it in you

    I'd go for the genuine, secure, confident diva with a integrity of mind and action any day
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    (Original post by RobML)
    So are going to rush it and just throw together a loose facade of a hot diva or are you going to take your time to see if you can work yourself in to and honest-to-god genuine hot diva?
    I take it you've got the hot down already, so with a little patience the diva bit should come around easily if you've actually got it in you

    I'd go for the genuine, secure, confident diva with a integrity of mind and action any day
    Ain't nobody got time for waiting around,time is of the essence my dear!
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    Ain't nobody got time for waiting around,time is of the essence my dear!
    Good things come to those who wait my dear!
    I see that it is you want a boyfriend you are not truly compatible with; isn't that but a fleeting thing? A phase of desire? What happens when that phase passes or you cannot any longer pretend to be compatible with them yourself? Retain integrity, be yourself, and then your perfect prince will eventually fall for you. and then you live happily ever after and all that jazz
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    (Original post by RobML)
    Good things come to those who wait my dear!
    I see that it is you want a boyfriend you are not truly compatible with; isn't that but a fleeting thing? A phase of desire? What happens when that phase passes or you cannot any longer pretend to be compatible with them yourself? Retain integrity, be yourself, and then your perfect prince will eventually fall for you. and then you live happily ever after and all that jazz
    No. That only happens in Hollywood movies. Once you've experienced true heartache only then can you learn from your mistakes and I have.
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    No. That only happens in Hollywood movies. Once you've experienced true heartache only then can you learn from your mistakes and I have.
    I got carried away soz. Actually just totally ignore me because I've never been in a relationship and it's all so horrible and lonely and I honestly don't know what to think and I never usually post in this part of the forum
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    (Original post by RobML)
    I got carried away soz. Actually just totally ignore me because I've never been in a relationship and it's all so horrible and lonely and I honestly don't know what to think and I never usually post in this part of the forum and oh god soz.
    Dude,lay off the alcohol. I'm in no better position than you. Ive been single for over a year and completely isolated.
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    Dude,lay off the alcohol. I'm in no better position than you. Ive been single for over a year and completely isolated.
    I just don't think that pondering about being yourself or not is the direction to go. I'd step back for more general advice, start from the beginning. Obviously I'm not one to give that advice so I'll stop here if you want me to. A virtual hug is the best I can do
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    (Original post by Sam Walters)
    Don't insult him.....Foo and I have very similar approaches to our coaching. However where foo has gone down the dating coaching side. I'm a confidence and charisma coach specializing in social anxiety.

    I know sure as hell Id hate to be called a PUA.....Unfortunately life coaching and charisma coaching that is aimed primarily at men has been thrown into that term. Such a shame as most of the guys teaching "pick up" arnt really into the whole "pick up" bit at all. But in order to profit on their skills this is what they need to market as.
    Teach me confidence and charisma!
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    (Original post by RobML)
    I just don't think that pondering about being yourself or not is the direction to go. I'd step back for more general advice, start from the beginning. Obviously I'm not one to give that advice so I'll stop here if you want me to. A virtual hug is the best I can do
    What I need to do is step up my game,regarding the dating world etc
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    What I need to do is step up my game,regarding the dating world etc
    Then I wish you good luck
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    (Original post by RobML)
    Then I wish you good luck
    Thaaaannnkkkss
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    I have failed in the past by being myself so this can only be an improvement
    With a sample of one (douchebag Russian), great story

    Most men like girl who has slept around, are crazy feminists or mouthy or in general just 'out there' every night or wears very revealing stuff
    Where do you get this crap from? :lolwut:

    people just tell you what you want to hear, not what you need to
    That’s often true in life, but where uncle Foo is concerned you know you’re always guaranteed to get 100% realtalk

    to appear like you're not a simple girl but a hot diva who's been there and done that
    You appear to have conflated crazy feminist **** with complex and intriguing character* :facepalm2:

    (Original post by Lionheart96)
    Do you have any advice on how to be more confident/secure?
    Yup

    (Original post by perspiracious)
    Are you a PUA?
    I’m a dating coach

    (Original post by queen-bee)
    guys only like for my looks
    News to me :hmmm:
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    With a sample of one (douchebag Russian), great story

    Where do you get this crap from? :lolwut:

    That’s often true in life, but where uncle Foo is concerned you know you’re always guaranteed to get 100% realtalk

    You appear to have conflated crazy feminist **** with complex and intriguing character* :facepalm2:

    Yup

    I’m a dating coach

    News to me :hmmm:
    Sample size of 2. My first ex and I lasted a while,I think he just got bored of my character in the end.
    I get this 'crap' from your threads/posts. Very great examples of certain characters which you have up on there which I aspire to be.
    Well it's always the hot ones who are wild,who seem to have an intriguing and complex character. The rest of us are just plain Janes. One thing you don't seem to realise is that guys don't go for cute,innocent little girls. Instead,they decide to run after the wild types who play hard to get or aren't even relationship material. Why? Because they're a lot fun to be around. They're more ready for anything and everything and probably wouldn't have reservations about sleeping with someone on a first date.
    Yup,99.9% of guys just like me for my looks/body and that I belly dance has always been an added bonus,that's it really. Mother had always warned me but never listened and here I am.
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    Sample size of 2. My first ex and I lasted a while,I think he just got bored of my character in the end.
    I get this 'crap' from your threads/posts. Very great examples of certain characters which you have up on there which I aspire to be.
    Well it's always the hot ones who's are wild,have an intriguing and complex character. The rest of us are just plain Janes. One thing you don't seem to realise is that guys don't go for cute,innocent little girls. Instead,they decide to run after the wild types who play hard to get or aren't even relationship material. Why? Because they're a lot fun to be around. They're more ready for anything and everything and probably wouldn't have reservations about sleeping with someone on a first date.
    Yup,99.9% of guys just like me for my looks/body and that I belly dance has always been an added bonus,that's it really. Mother had always warned me but never listened and here I am.
    This is true only for certain guys.

    I find it at odds with your goal for attracting men that you would be so insecure with yourself. You're more concerned about being boring than you are about your lack confidence which is by far one of the most unattractive personal traits a person can have. Rob ML is right, pretend to be a hot diva all you want but you're deeply entrenched insecurity will come to surface over time. You can't pretend to be 'interesting' indefinitely. Better to work on genuinely improving your confidence and that starts with being happy and secure about who you are.
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    Sample size of 2. My first ex and I lasted a while, I think he just got bored of my character in the end
    Oh, for some reason I thought you left him, no?

    I get this 'crap' from your threads/posts. Very great examples of certain characters which you have up on there which I aspire to be
    Perhaps if you are interested in what a person like me goes for you’d do better to pay more attention to posts in which I describe my ideal girlfriend/wifey, rather than posts in which I describe the diverse characters I have dated once or twice; different beasts :rolleyes:

    Well it's always the hot ones who are wild, who seem to have an intriguing and complex character
    Maybe to you. Quite apart from false associations, there is nevertheless an important balance to be struck between girls who are intriguing/complex on paper (may be faking it/only showing you one side of themselves) and girls who are loving and stable/dependable. Party girls almost never make for decent long term partners, and I personally would avoid like the plague. I wouldn’t even date a loud girl either, they'd just do my head in

    One thing you don't seem to realise is that guys don't go for cute, innocent little girls
    Yours is a false dichotomy. I like a girl who is cute at times/among other things, decent/upstanding rather than totally innocent, and not too ‘little’ as in small but younger than me. With all due respect, you do not strike me as a girl who is just this cute little innocent thing so I'd say you're good

    they decide to run after the wild types who play hard to get or aren't even relationship material
    Perhaps boys do, but sensible, settled men do not

    They're more ready for anything and everything and probably wouldn't have reservations about sleeping with someone on a first date
    Again, you seem to have got it twisted. Sleeping with someone on the first date is by no means the be all and end all. Having the capacity to seduce a woman quickly is both fun/exhilarating and something of a (limited) accomplishment, but whether you score on the first or fifth date is irrelevant, if you end up with the girl of your dreams :dancing:

    99.9% of guys just like me for my looks/body and that I belly dance has always been an added bonus, that's it really
    Just as well the one bloke who really counts is in that 0.1% of guys

    (Original post by Blaq_widow)
    This is true only for certain guys
    Thank you!

    Better to work on genuinely improving your confidence and that starts with being happy and secure about who you are
    Absolutely agree, easier said than done of course but it’s got to be the #1 goal
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    Oh, for some reason I thought you left him, no?

    Perhaps if you are interested in what a person like me goes for you’d do better to pay more attention to posts in which I describe my ideal girlfriend/wifey, rather than posts in which I describe the diverse characters I have dated once or twice; different beasts :rolleyes:

    Maybe to you. Quite apart from false associations, there is nevertheless an important balance to be struck between girls who are intriguing/complex on paper (may be faking it/only showing you one side of themselves) and girls who are loving and stable/dependable. Party girls almost never make for decent long term partners, and I personally would avoid like the plague. I wouldn’t even date a loud girl either, they'd just do my head in

    Yours is a false dichotomy. I like a girl who is cute at times/among other things, decent/upstanding rather than totally innocent, and not too ‘little’ as in small but younger than me. With all due respect, you do not strike me as a girl who is just this cute little innocent thing so I'd say you're good

    Perhaps boys do, but sensible, settled men do not

    Again, you seem to have got it twisted. Sleeping with someone on the first date is by no means the be all and end all. Having the capacity to seduce a woman quickly is both fun/exhilarating and something of a (limited) accomplishment, but whether you score on the first or fifth date is irrelevant, if you end up with the girl of your dreams :dancing:

    Just as well the one bloke who really counts is in that 0.1% of guys

    Thank you!

    Absolutely agree, easier said than done of course but it’s got to be the #1 goal
    I left them both for the reason I told you in the past but I'm saying both of them must have been really tired of me being 'myself' so instead they decided to go for sluts who had nothing to offer them but a one night stand
    Surely actions speak louder than words? It's one thing to say you would go for a decent/stable/loving girl but then end up dating party type girls? I don't know,I find you confusing. But it's expected of men. I'm sure most of the girls you've dated or been in relationships with in the past have been the wild type who would be up for short term stuff,not really the type to hold back or think twice about their reputation when it comes to sex and I kind of do sympathise with why you have been excited/we're excited about dating them. Boring girls are no fun at all.

    That's where you're wrong. You even see it in movies. It's always the good girls who are single,the ones who sleep around and do crazy stuff or act like sluts end up getting any guy they want. Why? Because they know they are high in demand and use that to their advantage and ofcourse,it always works. Most men are desperate to get into the knickers of just about any girl who is a party goer just because she appears hot and has this glam life and please don't deny because we both know it's true. If a guy had the choice of dating a decent girl who's smart and has good morals or a choice of dating a girl who's somewhat smart but parties every weekend or easily get with any guy or sleeps around,he would most likely go with the second girl and that's a fact.
    Guys don't genuinely like girls who are hard work and that involves girls who aren't easy and give out on the first date. These type of girls hold themselves highly and I respect them as I follow the same code.i think it separates them from other girls.

    Same goes for guys. Girls always go after the guys who let them down, who act tough and way too dominant. It's usually the thoughtful guys who are left being single. But this is how the world works.
    The nice girls/guys who actually are decent are not taken into account but the sluts and studs get everything they want.
    So it's no wonder why some girls/guys feel like they have to try to put on this fake persona just to impress their dream crush,coz guess what?! Being yourself will never get you anyway these days.
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    Smart,geeky scientist,Russell group uni graduate,guys only like for my looks,not sleeping around or going clubbing ever weekend
    Basically boring
    So my type then....ha!

    Big up on the scientist front. One of STFC`s slaves here.
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    (Original post by Sam Walters)
    So my type then....ha!

    Big up on the scientist front. One of STFC`s slaves here.
    I'm your type?! Lol What's STFC?
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    (Original post by queen-bee)
    I'm your type?! Lol What's STFC?
    Aye, pretty much! What i love is people whom have passions. Scientists are passionate about what they do generally. You're a scientist and you don't know what STFC is?! They only own. RAL. ISIS. CERN and ITER! Not a real scientist then clearly
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    (Original post by Sam Walters)
    Aye, pretty much! What i love is people whom have passions. Scientists are passionate about what they do generally. You're a scientist and you don't know what STFC is?! They only own. RAL. ISIS. CERN and ITER! Not a real scientist then clearly
    Oh now I get what you're talking about . I do have a passion and it's the whole bioscience/medicine field. Hopefully it pays off
 
 
 
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