Are the old concepts of love, commitment and relationships dead? Watch

Poll: Are one on one relationships dead?
No one on one relationships are very much alive (55)
80.88%
Yes one on one relationships are a thing of the past (13)
19.12%
The Reasoner
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#61
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#61
(Original post by xloichan)
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I agree. It's also in women's nature to procreate with multiple men so everyone wins (though I'm sure you knew this before you posted)
Source: http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2000/s...ne.theobserver

Not sure how 'women are no longer women'? Does a sexual relationship remove that second X chromosome? Kindly explain.
Are you in an open relationship or have any interest in open relationships? I agree, humans are not designed to be monogamous and it's in both genders nature to procreate with multiple partners, I honeslty believe all relationships will be non monogamous in the future. As you said everyones a winner. http://static1.tsrfiles.co.uk/13.0.2...lies/smile.png
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Yeah dude
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#62
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#62
No they're not, we focus on the wrong people


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Rom-Dom
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#63
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(Original post by xloichan)
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I agree. It's also in women's nature to procreate with multiple men so everyone wins (though I'm sure you knew this before you posted)
Source: http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2000/s...ne.theobserver
Another poor attempt from an incredibly tired argument trying to justify the degenerate lifestyle adopted by many today. Yes, we are genetically very similar to certain animals (certain animals too, by the way, practice monogamy), but we are distinct in so many ways also. Who is funding these tireless assaults trying to destroy the traditional family model, and why? Amongst the first things humanity but to paper and song were tales of love and "happily ever after". It's an ideal we live for - and an ideal which is the best environment in which to raise children. A polygamous environment sows distrust, hate and jealousy amongst partners - not because society imposes any state upon us, but because we greatly value loyalty, honour and integrity. I truly feel sorry for any person who thinks monogamy is not our "natural" desire or our "genetic disposition", and wish them the best of luck with their future STDs. Also comparing yourself to the animal kingdom, fantastic. Why don't you admit that you're a degenerate whore who simply can't keep her legs closed? God help you if you have children.
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Rom-Dom
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#64
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#64
Also if you truly love someone, and you have experienced real love you would realise that monogamy actually comes very naturally, you simply don't need anyone else. Comparing myself to an animal to justify my lifestyle is pretty pathetic, I may as well be an animal if that's the case. The difference is humans have thought and logic and can control their sexual desires. Otherwise we'd be roaming the streets naked having sex with anyone that goes by, seeing as that is our natural state. Tonight I won't use the toilet to take a dump because it's not natural, i'll do it on the carpet instead. :rolleyes:
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lucaf
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#65
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#65
(Original post by The Reasoner)
Men and Women are very much at war, perhaps it's you that needs to get outside more. Just the other week I saw a march near me with a bunch of feminists protesting against domestic abuse from males in relationships, ignoring the fact that this works both ways. Women have started the war but more men are starting to fight back. I predict a revolution in the coming years as men fight back against these aggressive feminists that exist in todays soceity.
Are you actually kidding? They are drawing attention to domestic abuse and you think that is an attack on men? Bloody hell I can't even tell if you are trolling, that is depressing.

But yeah, no. Most guys are too busy having sex with their girlfriends to participate in any revolutions :rolleyes:
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The Reasoner
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#66
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#66
(Original post by lucaf)
Are you actually kidding? They are drawing attention to domestic abuse and you think that is an attack on men? Bloody hell I can't even tell if you are trolling, that is depressing.

But yeah, no. Most guys are too busy having sex with their girlfriends to participate in any revolutions :rolleyes:
Why didn't they draw attention to domestic violence against males? Why did the signs say stop Males from domestic violence, as if that isn't attacking all men in some way? A revolution will happen, I predict it will happen in the next decade or so. I also believe the traditional methods of one on one monogamy will be dead and most if not all relationships will be open and non monogamous, not that I have a problem with that as I believe it benefits both genders especially men, but you'll see a huge change in the way soceity works in 10 years from now I can assure you of that.
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cole-slaw
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#67
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#67
I have not observed a lessening of the desire to end up in a happy and meaningful long term relationship from either sex. I think you're imagining things.
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The Reasoner
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#68
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#68
(Original post by cole-slaw)
I have not observed a lessening of the desire to end up in a happy and meaningful long term relationship from either sex. I think you're imagining things.
Maybe you just simply haven't paid enough attention? I see it more and more everyday, people are casually hooking up for the sole benefit of sex rather than looking for any kind of love or commitment, most women now don't want children or families but are instead choosing open relationships and multiple sexual partners. I see this increasing in popularity even further until all forms of monogamy are officially dead, we truly are heading back to the animal kingdom and it's women who are leading the way.
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cole-slaw
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#69
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#69
(Original post by The Reasoner)
Maybe you just simply haven't paid enough attention? I see it more and more everyday, people are casually hooking up for the sole benefit of sex rather than looking for any kind of love or commitment, most women now don't want children or families but are instead choosing open relationships and multiple sexual partners. I see this increasing in popularity even further until all forms of monogamy are officially dead, we truly are heading back to the animal kingdom and it's women who are leading the way.
If most women don't want children, is the population of the world rapidly declining?
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icdjabtjk
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#70
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#70
(Original post by The Reasoner)
With both genders seemingly more at war with eachother today than ever before and with feminism being so rife in the west, do you see the old concepts of love, commitment and relationships in general becoming a thing of the past? The old concept being one on one relationships between one man and one woman. Today we have seen a huge shift towards open relationships and mulitple partners as the genders slowly drift away from commiting to eachother. Do we see this being the future? Is traditional one on one relationships slowly dying and if so do we think it will die out completely in the next decade or less? Personally I see this as a great thing for soceity as a whole and hope this is very much the case. Discuss!
Ive always viewed serial monogomy as polyamory but one after the other, so yeah one on one relationships are completely dead in that sense. People grow up doing cyber sex with randomers age 10 and stuff these days it's normal :/
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lucaf
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#71
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#71
(Original post by The Reasoner)
Why didn't they draw attention to domestic violence against males? Why did the signs say stop Males from domestic violence, as if that isn't attacking all men in some way? A revolution will happen, I predict it will happen in the next decade or so. I also believe the traditional methods of one on one monogamy will be dead and most if not all relationships will be open and non monogamous, not that I have a problem with that as I believe it benefits both genders especially men, but you'll see a huge change in the way soceity works in 10 years from now I can assure you of that.
Because the reasons behind the two and they ways they need to be tackled are distinct, and because they don't need to protest every issue at once? 45% of murdered women are killed by partners or ex partners while only 4% of men are, do you seriously think the two are equivalent issues?

The thing that annoys me here is that you don't actually care about female-on-male domestic violence, it only becomes an issue to guys like you when it comes to online point scoring against feminists. How can you have the gall to complain that feminists don't protest it when the only time you mention it yourself is to complain that feminists don't protest it?

And no, I sincerely doubt open relationships will become the norm. They are an absolutely tiny minority at the moment, and there isn't any signs they are taking over. Again in the real world people are pretty happy with monogamy.
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The Reasoner
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#72
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#72
(Original post by lucaf)
Because the reasons behind the two and they ways they need to be tackled are distinct, and because they don't need to protest every issue at once? 45% of murdered women are killed by partners or ex partners while only 4% of men are, do you seriously think the two are equivalent issues?

The thing that annoys me here is that you don't actually care about female-on-male domestic violence, it only becomes an issue to guys like you when it comes to online point scoring against feminists. How can you have the gall to complain that feminists don't protest it when the only time you mention it yourself is to complain that feminists don't protest it?

And no, I sincerely doubt open relationships will become the norm. They are an absolutely tiny minority at the moment, and there isn't any signs they are taking over. Again in the real world people are pretty happy with monogamy.
A tiny minority? I know roughly 50% of people who are in open relationships so i'd say it's about even right now. We'll see a hugh increase in open relationships in the next decade as more women don't want children or families and the traditional methods of love and commitment will be gone as men and women only look for sexual pleasure instead of love & commitment between one man and one woman. We are already seeing a huge surge, I personally feel this is great news and can't wait until all relationships are non monogamous and open, it's basically being single with benefits.:cool:
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lucaf
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#73
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#73
(Original post by The Reasoner)
A tiny minority? I know roughly 50% of people who are in open relationships so i'd say it's about even right now. We'll see a hugh increase in open relationships in the next decade as more women don't want children or families and the traditional methods of love and commitment will be gone as men and women only look for sexual pleasure instead of love & commitment between one man and one woman. We are already seeing a huge surge, I personally feel this is great news and can't wait until all relationships are non monogamous and open, it's basically being single with benefits.:cool:
Nice anecdotal evidence you have there, but the actual statistics put it at 4%. Most people are still after traditional one-on-one relationships, and that doesn't look set to change.
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The Reasoner
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#74
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#74
(Original post by lucaf)
Nice anecdotal evidence you have there, but the actual statistics put it at 4%. Most people are still after traditional one-on-one relationships, and that doesn't look set to change.
Most people wouldn't admit they're in open relationships due to the stigma attached. I'm willing to bet theres a lot more than 4% of people in non monogamous relationships, i'd say it's closer to half of all young adults aged between 18-24 and that's not even taking into account the amount of people that would want to be in an open/polyamorous relationship if there wasn't so much social stigma and pressure from soceity to seek monogamy. Just looking at the article you provided alone shows that without the social stigma that non monogamy brings the vast majority of people would want to be non monogamous rather then monogamous.

Here's a few abstracts from the article provided that backs up everything i've been saying

Two weeks after the New York State Senate voted to legalize same-sex marriage, Timothy Dolan, the state’s Roman Catholic archbishop, warned that the ongoing redefinition of marriage will eventually lead to the acceptance of concur-rent marriages (which he considers to be synonymous with infidelity), and fears that non monogamy will eventually become a societal norm.

Even the Roman Catholic Archbishop acknowledges that non monogamy will eventually become a soceital norm, meaning monogamy will very much be a thing of the past in the not so distant future as I have been trying to say in this thread.

The proponent of non monogamy Dolan is referring to is the New York Times
profile of long time sex-advice columnist, Dan Savage. Savage recently critiqued what he considers to be our society’s obsession with romantic ideals of fidelity (Oppenheimer, 2011). According to Savage, our society’s discourse on monogamy is problematic, be-cause it inhibits honest discussions about sexual needs (Oppenheimer, 2011). The ability of romantic partners to have an open conversation about their needs and desires without fear of societal ramifications (i.e., avoiding affairs completelyor having a mutual agreement to have nonsecret extradyadic relations), Savage argued, may help to foster honest communication to avoid actual “infidelity.”

Dan Savage is an expert and knows what he's talking about.


But, one might wonder, is monogamy universal? Evidence suggests that not only do relational configurations vary across species (e.g., departures from monogamy are found in bonobo monkeys, chimpanzees, and several other non-human animals), but also across cultures (see Ryan & Jeth˚a, 2010, for furtherdiscussion). According to Schmitt (2005), women and men embody inconsistent mating styles across cultures, suggesting that human beings are not built strictly for long-term mating. One need to look no further than to the historical records of infidelity, divorce, and use of mistresses and prostitutes to conclude that humans are not always true monogamists and may not universally favor monogamy.

This shows that monogamy isn't very popular at all and doesn't exist in humans no matter how many people choose the monogamy path. Infidelity statistics prove this.

Consistent with the cross-cultural findings of Schmitt (2005), CNM does not seem to be as rare as some might expect

Exactly, and it's only increasing in popularity. There you have it, you basically just proved my point further, thanks for that.

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lucaf
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#75
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#75
(Original post by The Reasoner)
Most people wouldn't admit they're in open relationships due to the stigma attached. I'm willing to bet theres a lot more than 4% of people in non monogamous relationships, i'd say it's closer to half of all young adults aged between 18-24 and that's not even taking into account the amount of people that would want to be in an open/polyamorous relationship if there wasn't so much social stigma and pressure from soceity to seek monogamy.
If it was much more than 4% there wouldn't be a stigma! And it there certainly isn't close to half of young adults in them, otherwise I would think I would know at least one.


Just looking at the article you provided alone shows that without the social stigma that non monogamy brings the vast majority of people would want to be non monogamous rather then monogamous.

Here's a few abstracts from the article provided that backs up everything i've been saying

Two weeks after the New York State Senate voted to legalize same-sex marriage, Timothy Dolan, the state’s Roman Catholic archbishop, warned that the ongoing redefinition of marriage will eventually lead to the acceptance of concur-rent marriages (which he considers to be synonymous with infidelity), and fears that non monogamy will eventually become a societal norm.

Even the Roman Catholic Archbishop acknowledges that non monogamy will eventually become a soceital norm, meaning monogamy will very much be a thing of the past in the not so distant future as I have been trying to say in this thread.
And how is a Bishops opinion relevant or important? He was just scaremongering against gay marriage.


The proponent of non monogamy Dolan is referring to is the New York Times
profile of long time sex-advice columnist, Dan Savage. Savage recently critiqued what he considers to be our society’s obsession with romantic ideals of fidelity (Oppenheimer, 2011). According to Savage, our society’s discourse on monogamy is problematic, be-cause it inhibits honest discussions about sexual needs (Oppenheimer, 2011). The ability of romantic partners to have an open conversation about their needs and desires without fear of societal ramifications (i.e., avoiding affairs completelyor having a mutual agreement to have nonsecret extradyadic relations), Savage argued, may help to foster honest communication to avoid actual “infidelity.”

Dan Savage is an expert and knows what he's talking about.

He said that open relationships might be a good idea, not that they are increasing in frequency or that half of people are already in one (seriously, if you can't back up that claim stop repeating it)


But, one might wonder, is monogamy universal? Evidence suggests that not only do relational configurations vary across species (e.g., departures from monogamy are found in bonobo monkeys, chimpanzees, and several other non-human animals), but also across cultures (see Ryan & Jeth˚a, 2010, for furtherdiscussion). According to Schmitt (2005), women and men embody inconsistent mating styles across cultures, suggesting that human beings are not built strictly for long-term mating. One need to look no further than to the historical records of infidelity, divorce, and use of mistresses and prostitutes to conclude that humans are not always true monogamists and may not universally favor monogamy.

This shows that monogamy isn't very popular at all and doesn't exist in humans no matter how many people choose the monogamy path. Infidelity statistics prove this.

That shows that human are not innately monogamous, it does not show that non-monogamous relationships are becoming the norm as you are claiming.

Consistent with the cross-cultural findings of Schmitt (2005), CNM does not seem to be as rare as some might expect

Exactly, and it's only increasing in popularity. There you have it, you basically just proved my point further, thanks for that.
When it say they are not as rare as you may expect, they are still referring to the 4% figure. Non-monogamous relationships are still in a small minority and there is no reason to believe they will become the majority in the near future as you claim. So no, the article does not even come close to supporting your claims.
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The Reasoner
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#76
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#76
If you can't see that non monogamy and open relationships are increasing in popularity then you're either blind or stupid. That 4% figure is wrong for a start, plus that accounts for all adults not young adults which was what I was referring too. Young adults are our future, the fact that almost half of relationships I know of being open or polyamorous should tell you how popular non monogamy is, and that figure will increase in the next decade to become the vast majority of all relationships and therefore considered a soceital norm. Time you opened your eyes and faced the truth, that's the direction our soceity is heading in whether you like it or not and it's mainly women that are seeking it.
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The Reasoner
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#77
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#77
Would be interested to get more views and opinions on this too.
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lucaf
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#78
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#78
(Original post by The Reasoner)
If you can't see that non monogamy and open relationships are increasing in popularity then you're either blind or stupid. That 4% figure is wrong for a start, plus that accounts for all adults not young adults which was what I was referring too. Young adults are our future, the fact that almost half of relationships I know of being open or polyamorous should tell you how popular non monogamy is, and that figure will increase in the next decade to become the vast majority of all relationships and therefore considered a soceital norm. Time you opened your eyes and faced the truth, that's the direction our soceity is heading in whether you like it or not and it's mainly women that are seeking it.
Still not seeing any sources for any of the "facts" you just stated...
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The Reasoner
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#79
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#79
I didn't say it was a fact but it's things i've noticed based on my own personal observations. Also in most cases it was women that actually wanted the open relationship rather than men, debunking another myth that men are more promiscuous than women when we know that it's in fact the other way around.
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silverbolt
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#80
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#80
(Original post by The Reasoner)
With both genders seemingly more at war with eachother today than ever before and with feminism being so rife in the west, do you see the old concepts of love, commitment and relationships in general becoming a thing of the past? The old concept being one on one relationships between one man and one woman. Today we have seen a huge shift towards open relationships and mulitple partners as the genders slowly drift away from commiting to eachother. Do we see this being the future? Is traditional one on one relationships slowly dying and if so do we think it will die out completely in the next decade or less? Personally I see this as a great thing for soceity as a whole and hope this is very much the case. Discuss!
I like how you tr to equate feminism with the dying out of committed relationships.

Open relationships while more accepted and possibly in greater numbers than previous are hardly becoming the norm by any standards
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