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Why don't people try to understand asexuality?

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Original post by cole-slaw
But someone above claimed that asexuals do want to have sex and do enjoy sex, and they do feel physical arousal when they are about to have sex.



Well in that case I would say they are not asexual.
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
Well in that case I would say they are not asexual.


Well prepare to get shouted at for being ignorant by OP
Original post by cole-slaw
Well prepare to get shouted at for being ignorant by OP


"Researchers generally define asexuality as the lack of sexual attraction or the lack of sexual interest" - wiki says so. Wiki is always correct :adore:
Original post by cole-slaw
Your point didn't answer my question, it went off on a tangent. If you don't feel sexual attraction, how come you get physically aroused when you're about to have sex?


Because like I'ts been said before, physical arousal doesn't equal sexual attraction. To put it crudely, some rape victims have known to been aroused during their ordeal, that doesn't equal sexual attraction to the rapist.
Original post by Anonymous
Because like I'ts been said before, physical arousal doesn't equal sexual attraction. To put it crudely, some rape victims have known to been aroused during their ordeal, that doesn't equal sexual attraction to the rapist.


Bit of a taboo subject, but it kinda does, actually.
Original post by ChaoticButterfly
"Researchers generally define asexuality as the lack of sexual attraction or the lack of sexual interest" - wiki says so. Wiki is always correct :adore:


Funnily enough, that is also the exact definition of Loss of libido (sex drive), a common medical problem that can affect approximately one in five men, and even more women, at some point in their life.Its almost as if they're exactly the same thing
Original post by cole-slaw
Funnily enough, that is also the exact definition of Loss of libido (sex drive), a common medical problem that can affect approximately one in five men, and even more women, at some point in their life.Its almost as if they're exactly the same thing


:holmes:
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luckbox
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asexuality isn't real. its just a word for people who can't get any.
Original post by cole-slaw
Bit of a taboo subject, but it kinda does, actually.


I'm sure there are many rape victims that would completely disagree with you there. It's clear you're very determined to stick with your argument and that nothing I say will convince you otherwise. I hope if you meet someone who indetifies as asexual you will kindly accept that. Have a nice day. :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
I'm sure there are many rape victims that would completely disagree with you there. It's clear you're very determined to stick with your argument and that nothing I say will convince you otherwise. I hope if you meet someone who indetifies as asexual you will kindly accept that. Have a nice day. :smile:


Well I imagine it must be a very difficult subject for them to discuss, and they'd probably rather not think about it in too much detail.

Its not inconceivable that you could make a convincing argument, but at this point I will admit it is looking unlikely.
Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou
That was a mistake and looking at my post I would have thought that people would have seen it seeing as I was talking about romantic types. I meant "demiromantic" And I don't think arousal is all in the mind since people can get spontaneous erections even if all they're doing is filing paperwork.

For me arousal feels like a bodily reaction and not something that goes on in my mind. I suppose I could say that my brain is telling me that this woman has the features I think are attractive, my body gets ready for sex and yet in my mind I don't actually want to have sex. I suppose it does sound contradictory but, I never said asexuality wasn't a complex sexuality. Some asexuals still masturbate and even still have sex.


You can't expect people to see your mistakes, most people have never heard of these terms! Demiromantic makes no sense to me, surely it's normal to only feel romantic when there's a strong connection? Honestly, I think the labels are getting a bit unnecessary. If you like the other sex, you're hetero. Same sex, homo. Both, bi, neither, ace. Everything else is just an elaboration you can give if asked. I'm really into big boobs, but I don't have or want a term for it.

I get aroused randomly sometimes, but you said you get it specifically when looking at women, so I'd say you are hetero, just with a low sex drive or whatever.

Your body doesn't think in any way. You're talking about conscious and sub conscious. You don't feel hetero, yet you seem to have some subconscious heterosexuality there.

But hey, don't get caught up in labels.
Original post by cole-slaw
Well I imagine it must be a very difficult subject for them to discuss, and they'd probably rather not think about it in too much detail.

Its not inconceivable that you could make a convincing argument, but at this point I will admit it is looking unlikely.


If I've not managed to convince you then I advise you to do your own research, there are a lot sites online that explain the spectrum of asexuality
Original post by scrotgrot
So what goes through your mind when you are taking care of yourself?


Boobs or butts, usually. That said, some asexuals do watch porn. I don't claim to understand all aspects of asexuality but it is a sexuality where what people do doesn't reflect what they feel. Like I stated before, some have sex for various reasons.
Original post by Anonymous
Please educate yourself before you make comments like this because you clearly have no understanding of the meaning of asexuality. As I said above its not about not wanting to have sex, that is celibacy. It's a lack of sexual attraction. You can WANT to have sex if you're asexual and you can ENJOY sex if you're asexual, to be asexual is to not feel any sexual attraction to the person you're having sex with. Simple as.


That's pretty much it. It's a sexual orientation. Asexuals don't choose to not feel sexual attraction anymore than people choose which sex they want to be attracted to.

Original post by cole-slaw
So you actively want to have sex, and you do feel physically aroused, but you don't feel sexual attraction.


What exactly do you think sexual attraction is if not the combination of the active desire to have sex and the physical sexual arousal required to be able to do so?


You can have sex while not feeling sexually attracted to a person. And sex is more than a physical act because there is a mental component involved and typically sex involves both components. For example, you can have sex because you're sexually attracted to your partner or perhaps you're not sexually attracted to your partner but you will have sex because it feels good. Or maybe you want to have sex because you want your partner to be happy. Like I said, it's about keeping an open mind.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou
Boobs or butts, usually. That said, some asexuals do watch porn. I don't claim to understand all aspects of asexuality but it is a sexuality where what people do doesn't reflect what they feel. Like I stated before, some have sex for various reasons.


So you're a heterosexual male suffering from a low libido, basically. There is no need to add extra labels to this just for the sake of it.
Original post by cole-slaw
So you're a heterosexual male suffering from a low libido, basically. There is no need to add extra labels to this just for the sake of it.


It does sound like he has a low libido, but that doesn't mean he's "suffering", plenty of people have naturally low libidos and are fine with that. Having a high libido isn't objectively positive, I know I'm not the only person who has sometimes wished there's was lower.
Original post by cole-slaw
So you're a heterosexual male suffering from a low libido, basically. There is no need to add extra labels to this just for the sake of it.


No, I'm a heteroromantic asexual male with a high libido, basically. It's funny, no-one actually asked what my libido is like but instead preferred to come here with beliefs founded on nothing rather than ask, But it's fun watching you try to be a smart-ass rather than trying to actual learn from the discussion going on here.

In regards to the question of this thread you're doing a good job proving my point.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou
No, I'm a heteroromantic asexual male with a high libido, basically. But it's fun watching you try to be a smart-ass rather than trying to actual learn from the discussion going on here.

In regards to the question of this thread you're doing a good job proving my point.


I think this person clearly isn't understanding or choosing to accept that libido is different from sexual attraction.
Original post by Anonymous
I think this person clearly isn't understanding or choosing to accept that libido is different from sexual attraction.


Regardless, I'm done with this discussion. It was certainly interesting however, there's no point in dragging this on any longer; all points have been made and anything else will probably just be petty bickering.

Thanks all.
Original post by TheWorldEndsWithYou
No, I'm a heteroromantic asexual male with a high libido, basically. It's funny, no-one actually asked what my libido is like but instead preferred to come here with beliefs founded on nothing rather than ask, But it's fun watching you try to be a smart-ass rather than trying to actual learn from the discussion going on here.

In regards to the question of this thread you're doing a good job proving my point.


I know some people are being mean to you, but your point still doesn't really make sense. Your body doesn't do anything, beyond maybe flinching, without your brain being behind it. There's no separation.

I think some asexual are hetero (or homo or bi), but it's so minor they identify as ace. Like how a lot of people who identify as straight will admit at least a little same sex attraction, like a Kinsey 1, but wouldn't ever have same sex relations. They're still not really totally hetero; sexuality is based on attraction, not behaviour.

It's weird how people deny asexuality exists. Like they accept you can like one sex, or both, but there's zero chance you couldn't like either? It's just from what you've said, you aren't, at least not technically. But there is no rule on this, identify however you like.

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