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Why's it so hard to talk to your crush? :( watch

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    (Original post by Laaz123)
    Well, i said hello and the girl does actually seem interested
    Thats good - get to know each other (hobbies, interests etc).

    See if she wants to hang out sometime - get some food, do some sort of activities etc.
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    (Original post by Dazzzzzla)
    Thats good - get to know each other (hobbies, interests etc).

    See if she wants to hang out sometime - get some food, do some sort of activities etc.
    The only thing is she didn't reply :/
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    (Original post by Laaz123)
    The only thing is she didn't reply :/
    What did you say and how did she respond?

    What was the last thing you said?

    The problem with online communication is that there is a way out (people get busy/they read something but forget to reply) - speak to the person face to face, and there will be no escape, so to speak. You will get a quality conversation and will have more of an idea of where you are at!
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    (Original post by Dazzzzzla)
    What did you say and how did she respond?

    What was the last thing you said?

    The problem with online communication is that there is a way out (people get busy/they read something but forget to reply) - speak to the person face to face, and there will be no escape, so to speak. You will get a quality conversation and will have more of an idea of where you are at!
    I said hello but then i said tell me if ur trying to avoid me and btw she never responded in the first place
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    (Original post by Laaz123)
    I said hello but then i said tell me if ur trying to avoid me and btw she never responded in the first place
    At this stage showing your insecurities about talking to them doesn't help, I'm in the same situation at the minute, trying to figure out how to talk to them in order to get to know them more, obviously people have insecurities when it comes to talking to other people but showing them early on risks showing, uncertainty, lack of self-belief etc. As many people have finding an opportunity to talk to the person in person, even if its with a group, would be your best approach, even if you find out theres nothing there mentally between you two.

    I've just decided the next chance I get I'm telling my 'crush' I'm interested in them and would like to get to know them more (in person), even if it doesn't lead to a romantic relationship, takes some of the pressure of the person I feel if its just you'd like to get to know them, not sure how it will go.

    What usually stops people from just admitting things I think is the fear of awkwardness, but the showing of insecurities does not help, so asking if they trying to avoid you will most likely work against you, they may eventually reply but the problem with online chats and such is that they may construct a nice polite reply which confuses things, in person you can read a persons tone of voice, body language, eyes etc.

    Don't think the world is over though just because you display insecurities, the last time I was with my crush alone for about half-hour, I kept apologising for not being interesting conversation.. I didn't say the reasons was because I was over-analysing everything I said.

    Thinking is your own worst enemy I find in talking to people, but when your trying to impress/not dissuade a person, especially if your already a bit socially anxious.

    I'm not sure what you can do if you can find someway of seeing them in person without actually asking them out, and if you do want to do that, its better to be done in person.

    I hope some of that helps in some way..
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    (Original post by InnateRambler)
    At this stage showing your insecurities about talking to them doesn't help, I'm in the same situation at the minute, trying to figure out how to talk to them in order to get to know them more, obviously people have insecurities when it comes to talking to other people but showing them early on risks showing, uncertainty, lack of self-belief etc. As many people have finding an opportunity to talk to the person in person, even if its with a group, would be your best approach, even if you find out theres nothing there mentally between you two.

    I've just decided the next chance I get I'm telling my 'crush' I'm interested in them and would like to get to know them more (in person), even if it doesn't lead to a romantic relationship, takes some of the pressure of the person I feel if its just you'd like to get to know them, not sure how it will go.

    What usually stops people from just admitting things I think is the fear of awkwardness, but the showing of insecurities does not help, so asking if they trying to avoid you will most likely work against you, they may eventually reply but the problem with online chats and such is that they may construct a nice polite reply which confuses things, in person you can read a persons tone of voice, body language, eyes etc.

    Don't think the world is over though just because you display insecurities, the last time I was with my crush alone for about half-hour, I kept apologising for not being interesting conversation.. I didn't say the reasons was because I was over-analysing everything I said.

    Thinking is your own worst enemy I find in talking to people, but when your trying to impress/not dissuade a person, especially if your already a bit socially anxious.

    I'm not sure what you can do if you can find someway of seeing them in person without actually asking them out, and if you do want to do that, its better to be done in person.

    I hope some of that helps in some way..
    Seeing as she's new, she's became friends with people that I don't really like. I just don't want to look like an idiot and know asap if she's interested because she has given signs that she does
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    I think it's basically as you don't want to say or do anything that would make her dislike or be like "oh what a loser" so in turn that makes you more nervous?
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    (Original post by Laaz123)
    Seeing as she's new, she's became friends with people that I don't really like. I just don't want to look like an idiot and know asap if she's interested because she has given signs that she does
    What signs has she given you? You said she ignored you saying 'Hello' & 'tell me if you are ignoring me'?

    Maybe you're just hoping it is a sign.
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    (Original post by Dazzzzzla)
    What signs has she given you? You said she ignored you saying 'Hello' & 'tell me if you are ignoring me'?

    Maybe you're just hoping it is a sign.
    She stares at me a lot, and when my friend told her i liked her she smiled and told him to be quiet.
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    (Original post by Multitalented me)
    I think it's basically as you don't want to say or do anything that would make her dislike or be like "oh what a loser" so in turn that makes you more nervous?
    I get nervous because I don't want to do anything wrong
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    (Original post by Laaz123)
    I get nervous because I don't want to do anything wrong
    Yeah that's basically like me, come next week & when I'm planning to meet up with my crush, My heart rate will be pumping like mad You just have to be yourself at the end of the day!
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    (Original post by Multitalented me)
    I think it's basically as you don't want to say or do anything that would make her dislike or be like "oh what a loser" so in turn that makes you more nervous?
    Thats exactly what I mean, usually happens when trying to talk to someone you have a crush on and your shy, not sure if the OP is experiencing this but I found it to be quite common.. Also you summed that up much quicker than I did..

    (Original post by Laaz123)
    She stares at me a lot, and when my friend told her i liked her she smiled and told him to be quiet.
    How about you just try telling her you like her?

    Apparently girls/women do this weird thing that, unless the actual guy themselves says they like them they just brush it off, the same way it sounds like she did.. Also just telling her outright face-to-face will tell you if she's interested or not.

    (Original post by Laaz123)
    Seeing as she's new, she's became friends with people that I don't really like. I just don't want to look like an idiot and know asap if she's interested because she has given signs that she does
    Emotions make everyone look like an idiot. If you tell her alone in person, she may keep it to herself if she isn't interested, but don't let her choice in friends stop you, if she is interested and you get to know her and them more you may like them more than you think, we are complicated creatures with many layers and people can surprise you..
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    (Original post by Multitalented me)
    Yeah that's basically like me, come next week & when I'm planning to meet up with my crush, My heart rate will be pumping like mad You just have to be yourself at the end of the day!
    I'll be doing this myself at some point this month, its insane how you can feel so relaxed and fine confident imagining the conversation and meeting your crush but when your actually there.. Well nothing seems to work anymore!

    Multitalented is right, just be yourself, its hard to do so but you want her to like you, not some persona you create in order to be more appealing to her.
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    (Original post by InnateRambler)
    I'll be doing this myself at some point this month, its insane how you can feel so relaxed and fine confident imagining the conversation and meeting your crush but when your actually there.. Well nothing seems to work anymore!

    Multitalented is right, just be yourself, its hard to do so but you want her to like you, not some persona you create in order to be more appealing to her.
    Yeah, this is exactly what I experience. She is always around her friends and I am terrified of embarrassing myself in front of them and my own mates.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by phoenixsilver)
    Yeah, this is exactly what I experience. She is always around her friends and I am terrified of embarrassing myself in front of them and my own mates.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    The post above, I'm in the exact situation and I hate when she's with friends. It makes you the centre of attention which makes you even more nervous
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    (Original post by InnateRambler)
    Thats exactly what I mean, usually happens when trying to talk to someone you have a crush on and your shy, not sure if the OP is experiencing this but I found it to be quite common.. Also you summed that up much quicker than I did..



    How about you just try telling her you like her?

    Apparently girls/women do this weird thing that, unless the actual guy themselves says they like them they just brush it off, the same way it sounds like she did.. Also just telling her outright face-to-face will tell you if she's interested or not.



    Emotions make everyone look like an idiot. If you tell her alone in person, she may keep it to herself if she isn't interested, but don't let her choice in friends stop you, if she is interested and you get to know her and them more you may like them more than you think, we are complicated creatures with many layers and people can surprise you..
    So I should get to know her in person? The whole Facebook message thing went completely wrong, so I can't use that anymore
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    Wow ffs, she just messaged me and said she's been ignoring me, wow. This girl is nothing like she seems
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    (Original post by InnateRambler)
    Thats exactly what I mean, usually happens when trying to talk to someone you have a crush on and your shy, not sure if the OP is experiencing this but I found it to be quite common.. Also you summed that up much quicker than I did..



    How about you just try telling her you like her?

    Apparently girls/women do this weird thing that, unless the actual guy themselves says they like them they just brush it off, the same way it sounds like she did.. Also just telling her outright face-to-face will tell you if she's interested or not.



    Emotions make everyone look like an idiot. If you tell her alone in person, she may keep it to herself if she isn't interested, but don't let her choice in friends stop you, if she is interested and you get to know her and them more you may like them more than you think, we are complicated creatures with many layers and people can surprise you..
    I'm going to message her and say tht I thought she was different
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    (Original post by Laaz123)
    So I should get to know her in person? The whole Facebook message thing went completely wrong, so I can't use that anymore
    Yes get to know her in person, it takes a little longer and maybe more patience but you can better judge the conversation and get a better reading wether or not you 'really' like her.. It also helps that as you get to know her better you will start to talk on other things such as social media/texting etc, you don't use that stuff to initialise a friendship or relationship unless you literally can't see people because of distance.

    People don't really like to talk to strangers they vaguely know on the internet, complete strangers they seem fine with like forums for example but by spending time them in person you'll be able to if you actually like them and then hopefully if you do you just take a leap and say you like them.
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    (Original post by Laaz123)
    I'm going to message her and say tht I thought she was different
    I wouldn't, although you probably have by the time I've typed this, if she has been purposely ignoring you its a clear sign of little interest I'm afraid.. Also shows she isn't really that friendly as most people are willing to say hello back to people.. Or at least make up an excuse such as forgetting to reply.. It sounds like she's outright saying she doesn't want to speak to you unfortunately..
 
 
 
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