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    (Original post by LegatusShadow)
    The fact that he was able to drive home drunk without being caught shows that our police is crap or your father is an excellent driver but an average driver when drunk you should either be proud or disappointed, may be both. Proud at his mad driving skills but disappointed he risked his and potentially others lives.
    thanks for lightening the mood
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    (Original post by Octohedral)
    I'm afraid I have to agree with this. I know you (OP) must feel shocked and betrayed, which is natural, precisely because you look up to your father as a strong character. However, even the most stoic and well intentioned individual can be subject to pressures they just can't suppress.

    I think it's likely that something has been building up for a while that you don't know about. It could be a big thing, but it could equally be just a lot of small things you would think trivial. He could be depressed (perhaps a fact he will never accept), or he could be dissatisfied with his job or some other aspect of his life. It sounds like he's supporting your whole family, which is a big responsibility. Unfortunately, it's usually the people who try their best to get things right who fall the hardest when things do go wrong that they can't control.

    I understand that men of a certain generation or culture simply don't talk about these things. I couldn't imagine ever bringing 'feelings' up with my father, and it's possible you will never know what the problem is. However, I think it's very important that you give him some allowance. Something has triggered this, and it's 100% not acceptable to drink drive (anyone who says it is, even once, should think about what would have happened if he had hit a three year old on the way home), but people do make mistakes, and they do sometimes need help rather than anger, no matter who they are.

    Please try to hear him out, and perhaps read between the lines. This didn't come from nowhere. Your father is clearly a good family man, and that won't have changed overnight, but there is something going on that he feels like he is facing alone, even if he refuses to admit it.
    Or maybe he met up with some old mates and wanted a drink?


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    (Original post by WannabeDoctor98)
    Or maybe he met up with some old mates and wanted a drink?
    Possible, but doesn't sound like it from the rest of the thread. I may be wrong.

    I'm not implying every man who goes out and has fun has something going wrong in his life, just considering the fact this is out of character, extreme, and coming from someone who appears to be strongly opposed to a lack of moderation.
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    (Original post by WannabeDoctor98)
    Or maybe he met up with some old mates and wanted a drink?


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    I know how and with who he got drunk. He sat down with one of his colleagues like he often did (but never drank before). This colleague does have a reputation as a heavier drinker so peer pressure perhaps? At almost 50? idk
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    Not sure if this is a troll. How can the OP be so self centred.

    He's probably lost his job, perhapse on verge of divorce, maybe even attempted suicide but you don't give a damn do you ? who's gunna pay your uni fees !
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    Welcome to the pressures of corporate slavery. He's probably just completely stressed out with work, may have financial issues or problems going on he doesn't want to speak about and is now drinking in the hope it all goes away. Approach him and help him before it all gets too much. People going down this route and then committing suicide is becoming more and more common due to the pressures being placed on people.

    Sadly, there'll be a plethora of morons on here who've never worked, who've lived off the bank of mum and dad forever, stating this simply isn't true. Ignore these. He has turned to drink in an attempt to forget about problems on his mind and drink is only going to mask them, not make them go away. Approach him and help him.

    If I may ask, what is his job?
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    (Original post by INTit)
    Not sure if this is a troll. How can the OP be so self centred.

    He's probably lost his job, perhapse on verge of divorce, maybe even attempted suicide but you don't give a damn do you ? who's gunna pay your uni fees !
    ok I'll just keep repeating myself then.
    1. I know my parents had a rough patch a year ago or so but have seemed verz happy in last couple of months and my dad was even more cheerful than usual
    2. He didn't lose his job. Actually it was going well and he was successful in something he worked for for a couple weeks. Would've thought it was a celebratory drink if it wasn't so out of character
    3. I know for a fact he wouldn't kill himself
    4. it's not about the money, it about what it represents. That our loving father doesn't really give a **** about us
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    What a self centred little brat
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    (Original post by ParadiseFound)
    What a self centred little brat
    oh piss off
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    4. it's not about the money, it about what it represents. That our loving father doesn't really give a **** about us
    Your father having a moment of weakness doesn't automatically equate to him not loving you or giving a **** about you.

    People do **** up at times.
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    (Original post by INTit)
    Not sure if this is a troll. How can the OP be so self centred.

    He's probably lost his job, perhapse on verge of divorce, maybe even attempted suicide but you don't give a damn do you ? who's gunna pay your uni fees !
    This is the first thing I was thinking too. Sounds very selfish and I feel sorry for his dad, sounds like that family would be stressful for anyone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ok I'll just keep repeating myself then.
    1. I know my parents had a rough patch a year ago or so but have seemed verz happy in last couple of months and my dad was even more cheerful than usual
    2. He didn't lose his job. Actually it was going well and he was successful in something he worked for for a couple weeks. Would've thought it was a celebratory drink if it wasn't so out of character
    3. I know for a fact he wouldn't kill himself
    4. it's not about the money, it about what it represents. That our loving father doesn't really give a **** about us
    He doesn't give a **** about you because he had a drink? Woah the fun police right here. He needs a drink with a child like you. Maybe he wants to let loose, maybe he went out for a drink with work colleagues, maybe he met up with a few mates or maybe he wanted to escape your nagging.

    My parents drink, go on all girls/all guys holidays (and come back with no voice and a bad hangover), go to concerts, go on nights out (and get back at 2am) but you know what I say good for them because they are working their arses of and I'm happy they have such a good social life and are enjoying the one life they get. They haven't neglected me as a child? They've shown me too live my life.

    How about you stop being so selfish.


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    Honestly, it sounds like you're determined to hold on to your anger. The purpose of ranting online is to vent and have support. Granted, you have gotten some stupid responses but you have also gotten some sensible ones (and yes I am the same anon on pg 3) but it would appear that you are hell bent on condemning your father and holding on to your anger with the sole excuse that he is a family man and therefore not allowed to make mistakes. Your anger on its own makes your attitude towards your father totally selfish. If he has to always be on top of his game and love you all constantly, who loves him back? You have repeated yourself over and over again about how angry you feel that he got drunk. Now let go of your anger, stop making excuses for yourself or insist on running him down and go show your father some love and concern. I know you are not 12 but the way you call everyone names suggest you have some anger issues to deal with and some growing up to do.
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    (Original post by WannabeDoctor98)
    He doesn't give a **** about you because he had a drink? Woah the fun police right here. He needs a drink with a child like you. Maybe he wants to let loose, maybe he went out for a drink with work colleagues, maybe he met up with a few mates or maybe he wanted to escape your nagging.

    My parents drink, go on all girls/all guys holidays (and come back with no voice and a bad hangover), go to concerts, go on nights out (and get back at 2am) but you know what I say good for them because they are working their arses of and I'm happy they have such a good social life and are enjoying the one life they get. They haven't neglected me as a child? They've shown me too live my life.

    How about you stop being so selfish.


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    easy with the judging and assumptions buddy. He doesn't give a **** about us because he risked his life drunk driving. I thought I made that clear.
    I know how he got drunk. He'd been drinking glass after glass from 1pm to evening. Who decides to "let loose" at 1pm?
    No one f*cking nags him, but I guess you know better what happens in my family than me, thanks for that mate.
    Well good for you champ, my parents aren't like that. I guess yours are just superior.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Honestly, it sounds like you're determined to hold on to your anger. The purpose of ranting online is to vent and have support. Granted, you have gotten some stupid responses but you have also gotten some sensible ones (and yes I am the same anon on pg 3) but it would appear that you are hell bent on condemning your father and holding on to your anger with the sole excuse that he is a family man and therefore not allowed to make mistakes. Your anger on its own makes your attitude towards your father totally selfish. If he has to always be on top of his game and love you all constantly, who loves him back? You have repeated yourself over and over again about how angry you feel that he got drunk. Now let go of your anger, stop making excuses for yourself or insist on running him down and go show your father some love and concern. I know you are not 12 but the way you call everyone names suggest you have some anger issues to deal with and some growing up to do.
    I guess I haven't been clear. He's the kind of guy who would've destroy me verbally and virtually disown me if I got drunk at 16. He was so strongly against it and determined to make me never get drunk (didn't work, surprise surprise). Actually we had a family dinner with a friend who showed up drunk once and my dad expressed his utter disgust.
    And now he does the same thing. he just betrayed his principles (not saying they were right, but he lost credibility) and presented himself as a hypocrite when whole my life I've thought of him as the exact opposite. Man of principles and conviction and iron will. Now if he told me when I was 16 it's not a catastrophe to get drunk I wouldn't be nearly as upset. I just feel betrayed,plain and simple.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    easy with the judging and assumptions buddy. He doesn't give a **** about us because he risked his life drunk driving. I thought I made that clear.
    I know how he got drunk. He'd been drinking glass after glass from 1pm to evening. Who decides to "let loose" at 1pm?
    No one f*cking nags him, but I guess you know better what happens in my family than me, thanks for that mate.
    Well good for you champ, my parents aren't like that. I guess yours are just superior.
    One glass can lead to two, two to three and so on if you start drinking at lunch time. Doesn't mean its intentionally to get drunk? Before he knew it he could have been really drunk, he wasn't drinking every drink like 'must drink drive and kill myself to get at my children because I don't love them' glug glug glug

    And he does give a ****? that's why he financially supports you and your siblings, that's why he feeds you, has provided love and support your entire life, provides you with a home, will always welcome you back etc. If he didn't give a **** he would just get up and leave, he would make you pay for everything yourself, he would spend all his money on himself, he would kick you out of the house. Don't be so spoilt as to think your parents life centres around you 24/7. He's human for Christ sake, he's allowed to make a mistake.

    Do you actually live in the real world like the rest of us?


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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess I haven't been clear. He's the kind of guy who would've destroy me verbally and virtually disown me if I got drunk at 16. He was so strongly against it and determined to make me never get drunk (didn't work, surprise surprise). Actually we had a family dinner with a friend who showed up drunk once and my dad expressed his utter disgust.
    And now he does the same thing. he just betrayed his principles (not saying they were right, but he lost credibility) and presented himself as a hypocrite when whole my life I've thought of him as the exact opposite. Man of principles and conviction and iron will. Now if he told me when I was 16 it's not a catastrophe to get drunk I wouldn't be nearly as upset. I just feel betrayed,plain and simple.
    Except he's not a 16 year old getting drunk... He's an adult. And he got drunk once. Give the guy some room the breath please.


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    (Original post by WannabeDoctor98)
    One glass can lead to two, two to three and so on if you start drinking at lunch time. Doesn't mean its intentionally to get drunk? Before he knew it he could have been really drunk, he wasn't drinking every drink like 'must drink drive and kill myself to get at my children because I don't love them' glug glug glug

    And he does give a ****? that's why he financially supports you and your siblings, that's why he feeds you, has provided love and support your entire life, provides you with a home, will always welcome you back etc. If he didn't give a **** he would just get up and leave, he would make you pay for everything yourself, he would spend all his money on himself, he would kick you out of the house. Don't be so spoilt as to think your parents life centres around you 24/7. He's human for Christ sake, he's allowed to make a mistake.

    Do you actually live in the real world like the rest of us?


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    You're not wrong. He still hasn't made the least effort to talk about it though and it's been a whole day.
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    (Original post by WannabeDoctor98)
    Except he's not a 16 year old getting drunk... He's an adult. And he got drunk once. Give the guy some room the breath please.


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    You seem to think I've been pestering him about this for hours when we barely said 5 words about it. I've always given him plenty of room to breathe. That's why I'm trying to talk it through anonymously with strangers instead of with him. And he seems to be fine with that.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess I haven't been clear. He's the kind of guy who would've destroy me verbally and virtually disown me if I got drunk at 16. He was so strongly against it and determined to make me never get drunk (didn't work, surprise surprise). Actually we had a family dinner with a friend who showed up drunk once and my dad expressed his utter disgust.
    And now he does the same thing. he just betrayed his principles (not saying they were right, but he lost credibility) and presented himself as a hypocrite when whole my life I've thought of him as the exact opposite. Man of principles and conviction and iron will. Now if he told me when I was 16 it's not a catastrophe to get drunk I wouldn't be nearly as upset. I just feel betrayed,plain and simple.
    You have made yourself crystal clear and I still maintain my grounds. If someone does something which is highly against their principle then there HAS to be a reason. It doesn't make it right but people don't just wake up and start drinking by 1pm for no good reason. He hasn't said a word because he is probably ashamed especially given the strict moral upbringing he has instilled in you all. What worries me is how you are holding on so tightly to your betrayal and hurt and you cannot seem to realise that those feelings including pride and selfishness are preventing you from acknowledging that something went very wrong with your father last night. It could have been many 'small somethings' that resulted in the showdown yesterday. You have no right to call your father a hypocrite unless you have never buckled under pressure before. If this is a repeated act you can call him a hypocrite but until then, you can choose to show forgiveness, love and support to your father and try to find out what caused his action whether he talks or not or you can choose to hang on to that betrayal and hurt and pain that you feel and let it destroy whatever else you father means to you. The choice is ultimately yours.
 
 
 
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