Turn on thread page Beta

Why isn't porn seen as cheating? watch

    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cherie Amour)
    Lol people still do that? Men are so weird with how they get off. I saw this clip where a man called into a dispatch operator just for impromptu phone sex.
    Well the channels are still in operation and there are always in newspapers. So I presume they do. Wow, that is so messed up. It is like when you hear stories that men have sex with their cars, or women have sex with horses. Which is a whole different story.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by EllainKahlo)
    Everyone is different but I personally wouldn't be okay with that.
    I'm in agreeance with you.

    I think porn is like a fantasy world where men and women can watch their fetishes. If there is any interaction (phone, webcam, stip club) between the two, then thats where the line crosses.

    What about dancing in a club? Say grinding etc? Or even something more innocent?
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dazzzzzla)
    Well the channels are still in operation and there are always in newspapers. So I presume they do. Wow, that is so messed up. It is like when you hear stories that men have sex with their cars, or women have sex with horses. Which is a whole different story.
    Yea it's...actually nothing like that lol
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cherie Amour)
    If he went so far as to watch interactive porn, yea, I'd have an issue but it's basically like going to a strip club So would you take issue with strip clubs? I still haven't thought about this. I feel like men will be men but if I ask for respect then grant it to me. That being said I wouldn't ban him from strip clubs or porn, I might engage in it with him but if he's all addicted or lying like saying he was at the office but really at the champagne room with Porscha there will be hell to pay.
    Hahaha agreed. It's all about honesty for me. I'd lay down rules in the beginning and expect them to do the same with me so there's no issue of miscommunication. If they know I'm not approving of something and they do it behind my back, I'm leaving them immediately since they have no excuses.

    If my partner wanted me to go to a strip club with them, I would. If they wanted to go with their friends and I trusted him, then I'd allow it but I wouldn't encourage it. If they wanted to go by themselves, that's weird and a definite no. If I'm here, why the hell do you need to go to a strip club? The only thing I'm perfectly okay with when we're not right next to each other, is them watching porn, probably because there's no interaction in that. Anything that has interaction is going to probably upset me.
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dazzzzzla)
    I'm in agreeance with you.

    I think porn is like a fantasy world where men and women can watch their fetishes. If there is any interaction (phone, webcam, stip club) between the two, then thats where the line crosses.

    What about dancing in a club? Say grinding etc? Or even something more innocent?
    No, I think that's where we cross into territory where I'm not happy. If I'm not available, they don't have to ask my permission to watch porn but when it comes to touching, talking or interacting with another person sexually or romantically I'm not happy and I'd probably leave them.

    The same goes for me, I wouldn't expect my partner to be happy with me touching other men or letting other men touch me so I don't want that happening to them either.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by EllainKahlo)
    Hahaha agreed. It's all about honesty for me. I'd lay down rules in the beginning and expect them to do the same with me so there's no issue of miscommunication. If they know I'm not approving of something and they do it behind my back, I'm leaving them immediately since they have no excuses.

    If my partner wanted me to go to a strip club with them, I would. If they wanted to go with their friends and I trusted him, then I'd allow it but I wouldn't encourage it. If they wanted to go by themselves, that's weird and a definite no. If I'm here, why the hell do you need to go to a strip club? The only thing I'm perfectly okay with when we're not right next to each other, is them watching porn, probably because there's no interaction in that. Anything that has interaction is going to probably upset me.
    I see, that's reasonable
    However when we're not right next to each other, god knows. This is what truly makes me wary about getting into a relationship. The fear of not knowing what he's up to when I'm away. As long as it's not interactive I agree, there's really not much to be fussed about, however I would be freaked if he has a whole bunch of weird fetishes that he runs to. He should be able to tell me what he's into. Not have secrets and ****.
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    (Original post by Cherie Amour)
    Lol people still do that? Men are so weird with how they get off. I saw this clip where a man called into a dispatch operator just for impromptu phone sex.
    Not into phone sex myself, let alone paying for it. Cybering is much more my kinda thing
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by WoodyMKC)
    Not into phone sex myself, let alone paying for it. Cybering is much more my kinda thing
    Lol would you do phone sex then if it were a free service?
    Cybering is what I mostly did when I was a teenager but sexting all the way for me if I like him enough :mmm:
    Of course in person intimacy is winner.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by EllainKahlo)
    Hahaha agreed. It's all about honesty for me. I'd lay down rules in the beginning and expect them to do the same with me so there's no issue of miscommunication. If they know I'm not approving of something and they do it behind my back, I'm leaving them immediately since they have no excuses.

    If my partner wanted me to go to a strip club with them, I would. If they wanted to go with their friends and I trusted him, then I'd allow it but I wouldn't encourage it. If they wanted to go by themselves, that's weird and a definite no. If I'm here, why the hell do you need to go to a strip club? The only thing I'm perfectly okay with when we're not right next to each other, is them watching porn, probably because there's no interaction in that. Anything that has interaction is going to probably upset me.
    That is fair.

    That's what it all comes down to. "Why do you need to do it when I am here?" Why do men/women have to watch porn/strip club/webcam when they have their partner?

    Porn to me is all good - if you're not together, as you said. What if they follow their favourite porn stars on insta or twitter - how would that make you feel?
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by EllainKahlo)
    No, I think that's where we cross into territory where I'm not happy. If I'm not available, they don't have to ask my permission to watch porn but when it comes to touching, talking or interacting with another person sexually or romantically I'm not happy and I'd probably leave them.

    The same goes for me, I wouldn't expect my partner to be happy with me touching other men or letting other men touch me so I don't want that happening to them either.

    I agree, once again.

    Here is another one to chuck out there - how about arranging/or going out with one of their exs (in a group) whilst you weren't around?

    Edit: Say on a night out? Where alcohol seems to help people disregard relationships and have some sort of excuse.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DiddyDec)
    Thought police?
    Huh?
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cherie Amour)
    I see, that's reasonable
    However when we're not right next to each other, god knows. This is what truly makes me wary about getting into a relationship. The fear of not knowing what he's up to when I'm away. As long as it's not interactive I agree, there's really not much to be fussed about, however I would be freaked if he has a whole bunch of weird fetishes that he runs to. He should be able to tell me what he's into. Not have secrets and ****.
    Very true. I know myself better than anybody and I'd never cheat on somebody and hurt them like that, I'd rather tell them things aren't working out. But I can't say that other people are the same as me or would see cheating as big as a betrayal as I do. I'm the kind of person that would stay friends with an ex but never speak to them again if the reason we broke up was because they cheated on me.

    If I have to be open and honest in a relationship (which I would) about my fetishes, my feelings, my past etc. then I expect nothing to be kept from me equally or it's just not going to last.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Implication)
    Huh?
    Are people not allowed to visualise?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by chester.)
    If my best friend had done porn, then I guess that's his prerogative. But we both know that's not what you're talking about, so it's a silly thing to bring up.
    Similarly, visualising is entirely different.
    Why's it a silly thing to bring up?

    Point is, for most people there is a line. Most of us agree that sleeping with another person is definitely not okay, and most of us agree that masturbating over someone who may not be our partner is okay. The line between 'okay' and 'not okay' is somewhere in the middle, and I don't think it's at all obvious that porn is (or should be) inside the 'okay' region for everyone.


    For me it boils down to...
    If porn is an issue for someone in a relationship then they ought to give themselves a shake- it's just porn.
    "It's just porn" is precisely what I thought when I stopped watching porn. My fiancée doesn't like it, so why not just stop? It's just porn. :dontknow:
    • Political Ambassador
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    Political Ambassador
    (Original post by Cherie Amour)
    Lol would you do phone sex then if it were a free service?
    Cybering is what I mostly did when I was a teenager but sexting all the way for me if I like him enough :mmm:
    Of course in person intimacy is winner.
    Nah, as I said, not into it really. Yeah, cybering, sexting, all the same to me, good fun When I get into it though all I really wanna do is get hold of the girl I'm talking to and bang their brains out :lol:
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by DiddyDec)
    Are people not allowed to visualise?
    What do you mean 'allowed to'?
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Cherie Amour)
    XD No man unless he's Mormon (and even still probably not...maybe then Amish) in the 21st century doesn't watch porn.
    Not sure if srs but if so then this is definitely not true haha.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Implication)
    What do you mean 'allowed to'?
    You suggested that visualising people could akin to watching porn.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Implication)
    Not sure if srs but if so then this is definitely not true haha.
    Ok. Then Muslim or no Internet access :yawn:
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Dazzzzzla)
    That is fair.

    That's what it all comes down to. "Why do you need to do it when I am here?" Why do men/women have to watch porn/strip club/webcam when they have their partner?

    Porn to me is all good - if you're not together, as you said. What if they follow their favourite porn stars on insta or twitter - how would that make you feel?
    (Original post by Dazzzzzla)
    I agree, once again.

    Here is another one to chuck out there - how about arranging/or going out with one of their exs (in a group) whilst you weren't around?

    Edit: Say on a night out? Where alcohol seems to help people disregard relationships and have some sort of excuse.
    Well, as I've said, all couples are different so their rules and what constitutes as too far is different for each of them. I can respect that some people aren't comfortable having a partner who watches porn at all, but I personally think it is ridiculous because if I'm not around or I'm busy, I'm hardly about to tell my partner they can't experience any pleasure without me. As long as it's over porn and not over another person, it's fine.

    Now if I found out they were following their fave pornstar on twitter or something, I guess I'd just want them to be open about their reasons. Pornstars are people too, so if they're following them because they just so happen to upload really funny things or they make interesting comments/observations etc. then cool. I'd do it too. But if they're following them because they're hoping they can chat one-on-one or meet-up, that's entirely different and the same as cheating with any other, non-pornstar.

    Again, if I trust them and they just so happen to still be friends with their ex, that's fine. I think I'd have to question myself, and why I'm still with them if I couldn't trust them to simply talk to their ex even around others, even around alcohol. Now if I find out they've cheated on me in that instance, then I was wrong to trust them and I'll just have to deal with that. But hopefully that will never happen to me.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: September 16, 2015
Poll
How are you feeling in the run-up to Results Day 2018?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.