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Nobody wants to go out with me and I just don't know why watch

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    Stop trying to force it
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    As profesh said, make the first move. It's the 21st century, and noone will think bad of you for it. If you're attractive as you say you are they should respond positively for the most part.

    Also, it's kind of offensive to suggest all guys want is sex. It's like saying all girls are superficial and only want money/shoes/whatever. I mean such stereotypes do not apply to all or even most guys. Yes, most guys (and girls) have sex drives and sex on the mind, that doesn't mean they don't also want meaningful relationships at some point.

    You do come across as a little arrogant though. I mean while you may be a "9+/10" for some people, noone is objectively that good looking. Moreover, if an attractive person says they are extremely attractive to the point where they may be flawless or a 10/10, that makes them unattractive. Confidence is fine, but stating that you're a 9 or above on the rating scale pretty much does cross the line into arrogance.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Denial that my looks aren't as great as I think they are? Trust me, I'm not. I just think that saying that is such a stupid and offensive answer to my question.

    Regardless of how attractive I am, I think it is just plain rude to assume that someone who doesn't have a boyfriend, doesn't have one because their standards are too high for their level of attractiveness.
    Plain rude? It's been the situation in a majority of threads exactly like this over the past decade.

    I'm sorry you don't agree with the advice people are offering, if you're so certain of what is/isn't happening then why do you need to be asking a group of Internet strangers?

    At the risk of sounding 'plain rude' again perhaps it is your personality putting them off? I can't judge your looks from this thread but I can take a fair crack at your attitude.
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    (Original post by TorpidPhil)
    If you keep telling yourself that then you ain't gonna solve it. And being the sort that aren't there for that I know it isn't true anyway. Besides, you say you are at a good uni... Are you really? If so that should cut down on such students.
    Yeah I do go to a good uni, so i don't know. It still seems that loads of students here are like that.
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    (Original post by Danz123)

    You do come across as a little arrogant though. I mean while you may be a "9+/10" for some people, noone is objectively that good looking. Moreover, if an attractive person says they are extremely attractive to the point where they may be flawless or a 10/10, that makes them unattractive. Confidence is fine, but stating that you're a 9 or above on the rating scale pretty much does cross the line into arrogance.
    I know and I do apologise for this. I just needed to make my point that the reason I don't have a boyfriend isn't because of my looks, because the first few posts of this thread were people saying 'ugly', 'not good enough looking', 'lower your standards'. I'm really not arrogant, I just needed to post something that would get people to take note that it isn't my looks that's the issue.
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    (Original post by Reue)
    Plain rude? It's been the situation in a majority of threads exactly like this over the past decade.

    I'm sorry you don't agree with the advice people are offering, if you're so certain of what is/isn't happening then why do you need to be asking a group of Internet strangers?

    At the risk of sounding 'plain rude' again perhaps it is your personality putting them off? I can't judge your looks from this thread but I can take a fair crack at your attitude.
    Okay, well I'm sorry that we have had our differences.

    The reason I'm asking the question is because I am certain that it isn't my looks that is causing my lack of boyfriend... it is something else, which I'm not sure of, which hence is why I'm asking! You can rule out one thing, but still not know the answer to many questions.

    Well that's your opinion, but I just needed to tell people that were trying to say it was because i am not attractive enough, that that just isn't the case. That isn't a very easy thing to do without sounding rather *****y and arrogant.
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    Good luck, Anonymous; I hope you find what you're looking for.
    I don't have any wonderful advice for you, just that, in my experience it's when you stop looking for romance it tends to come your way. Sounds a bit airy fairy I know. Maybe you should just concentrate on other things for a while.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know and I do apologise for this. I just needed to make my point that the reason I don't have a boyfriend isn't because of my looks, because the first few posts of this thread were people saying 'ugly', 'not good enough looking', 'lower your standards'. I'm really not arrogant, I just needed to post something that would get people to take note that it isn't my looks that's the issue.
    I understand that, but I would have stopped at 'it isn't my looks', or "I would like to think I look half-decent". Without a pm of your pic I can't tell, but even if you show me and you really are victoria secret model levels of attractive, it's still better to be modest. In my opinion, arrogance is one of the worst traits a person can have.

    Anyway, all I can say is putting yourself out there more, asking guys out and being patient is your best bet right now. No need to rush into things, you've said so yourself that you wouldn't want a relationship for the sake of it. It may sound cheesy but the right person will come along, and it doesn't have to be at uni. Just keep yourself busy, focus on work, hobbies and having an awesome time with friends. Then you won't even care you're not in a relationship and any guy that comes along will be a bonus, instead of a void-filler.
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    (Original post by Danz123)
    I understand that, but I would have stopped at 'it isn't my looks', or "I would like to think I look half-decent". Without a pm of your pic I can't tell, but even if you show me and you really are victoria secret model levels of attractive, it's still better to be modest. In my opinion, arrogance is one of the worst traits a person can have.

    Anyway, all I can say is putting yourself out there more, asking guys out and being patient is your best bet right now. No need to rush into things, you've said so yourself that you wouldn't want a relationship for the sake of it. It may sound cheesy but the right person will come along, and it doesn't have to be at uni. Just keep yourself busy, focus on work, hobbies and having an awesome time with friends. Then you won't even care you're not in a relationship and any guy that comes along will be a bonus, instead of a void-filler.
    Yes, I probably should have done this - was just worried people were less likely to take notice of it.

    Thank you for this. I think that is the best mindset to have. To just not worry about it until the right guy comes.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just can't understand why nobody wants to just go on a normal date with me with the possibility of going out with me
    The main things I'd consider first and foremost would include:

    • Where you are meeting men (other than bars/clubs)
    • What age/backgrounds both yourself and these men are/are from
    • How you are presenting yourself
    • How you are behaving
    • How you are responding to their (sexual) behaviour
    • How picky you are being, and on what basis

    If you provide context, in line with the above (apologies if you have already, subsequent to your OP), then perhaps we can provide more illuminating responses

    (Original post by sr90)
    Same boat but have accepted nothing will ever happen
    (Original post by Schrödingers Cat)
    Foo.mp3 we need some help in here
    Anyone who has struggled/is struggling with any aspect of 'the dating game' is welcome to seek general advice/enlist my professional services (although I should think sr90 would have already, should he have seen it as suitably potentially worthwhile) :holmes:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yes, I probably should have done this - was just worried people were less likely to take notice of it.

    Thank you for this. I think that is the best mindset to have. To just not worry about it until the right guy comes.
    Ah I see, well at least you didn't want to come across that way.

    You seem like a cool and understanding person anyway, so I'm sure the right guys will see that and line up to be with you, or you'll probably get 100% of guys saying 'yes' to a date if you asked.

    You already know loads of guys are into you, so just a matter of when the right guy comes, not if tbh. In the mean time like I say, not worrying and having fun, best bet. Down those jagerbombs and make shapes on da dance floor yo! Haha xD
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    (Original post by Foo.mp3)
    The main things I'd consider first and foremost would include:

    • Where you are meeting men (other than bars/clubs)
    • What age/backgrounds both yourself and these men are/are from
    • How you are presenting yourself
    • How you are behaving
    • How you are responding to their (sexual) behaviour
    • How picky you are being, and on what basis

    • Where you are meeting men (other than bars/clubs)So clubs is a big one for me to be honest. Other places are from the sport that I do at uni, and just through mutual friends.• What age/backgrounds both yourself and these men are/are fromBecause I am still at uni at 23, most of the guys tend to be a couple of years younger than me. So like 20/21. White middle class background mainly.• How you are presenting yourselfWell I would say I'm presenting myself well! I always try and look my best. At clubs I will dress in more revealing clothes than I would during the day. So I will show a bit of cleavage for example. I do get quite drunk when i go out tbh. During the day I dress nicely imo!• How you are behavingI'm just usually very chatty and sociable. I like talking to a lot of new people. Smiley, fun, up for a laugh. That's my personality.• How you are responding to their (sexual) behaviourThis is where I think I may be going wrong. I don't discourage it straight away. I do respond to it. The reason I do is because I think that if i cut it off straight away they are going to get offended and then there's no chance of them liking me. • How picky you are being, and on what basis
    I'm not overly picky. All I want is someone who I think is fairly attractive, nice and up for a laugh.
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    I mean there are two things probably going on here:

    (1) You are misreading some of the mens' intent (i.e. some are in fact not purely sexual but you are not realizing it).
    (2) You are not as attractive as you think you are.

    I mean you say you are a 9.5+/10 so I'm inclined to think (2) is the reason as that is almost certainly complete denial. 9.5/10 is absolutely drop dead gorgeous and incredibly rare, and any such girl would have no problem finding high quality males begging to be in a relationship with her (assuming her personality wasn't terrible, and even if it was I'm sure some would pretend they liked her just for the regular sex).

    Problem is without pics, which you are (understandably) not wanting to give we can never form a consensus on the matter, and so the vast majority of guys in this thread will just continue to tell you are probably in denial and (2) is the probable reason for your lack of success. There is a definite minority of the population who are in complete denial about how good (or bad) looking they are.

    Do your friends regularly tell you you are extremely attractive? Because if you were really that attractive you certainly would be getting regular comments!
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    (Original post by In One Ear)
    I mean there are two things probably going on here:

    (1) You are misreading some of the mens' intent (i.e. some are in fact not purely sexual but you are not realizing it).
    (2) You are not as attractive as you think you are.

    I mean you say you are a 9.5+/10 so I'm inclined to think (2) is the reason as that is almost certainly complete denial. 9.5/10 is absolutely drop dead gorgeous and incredibly rare, and any such girl would have no problem finding high quality males begging to be in a relationship with her (assuming her personality wasn't terrible, and even if it was I'm sure some would pretend they liked her just for the regular sex).

    Problem is without pics, which you are (understandably) not wanting to give we can never form a consensus on the matter, and so the vast majority of guys in this thread will just continue to tell you are probably in denial and (2) is the probable reason for your lack of success. There is a definite minority of the population who are in complete denial about how good (or bad) looking they are.

    Do your friends regularly tell you you are extremely attractive? Because if you were really that attractive you certainly would be getting regular comments!
    Yeah, I would say I get pretty much daily compliments where friends and other people that I vaguely know say that I look really good. I really don't think I am in denial, although this thread certainly is enough to get me to doubt myself!
    The thing is, is that at any one point in time, I would say I have like 8ish guys messaging me on a more than once daily basis trying to organise a time for us to have sex. I've had guys follow me to nightclubs that they know that I am going to on a particular night, even when their friends are not going / going elsewhere, just so they can try and get with me.

    So I really don't think that I can be that unattractive with all these guys wanting to have sex with me. This is what's getting me down. I just don't understand why all these guys are so fixated on the sex and don't want to get to know me as a person.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I would say I get pretty much daily compliments where friends and other people that I vaguely know say that I look really good. I really don't think I am in denial, although this thread certainly is enough to get me to doubt myself!
    The thing is, is that at any one point in time, I would say I have like 8ish guys messaging me on a more than once daily basis trying to organise a time for us to have sex. I've had guys follow me to nightclubs that they know that I am going to on a particular night, even when their friends are not going / going elsewhere, just so they can try and get with me.

    So I really don't think that I can be that unattractive with all these guys wanting to have sex with me. This is what's getting me down. I just don't understand why all these guys are so fixated on the sex and don't want to get to know me as a person.
    Hmmm, perhaps it has to do with your style and the way you are representing yourself. In the absence of a picture of you, could you perhaps link some images of girls from the interwebz who have a similar style to you in terms of fashion sense and makeup application?
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    (Original post by In One Ear)
    Hmmm, perhaps it has to do with your style and the way you are representing yourself. In the absence of a picture of you, could you perhaps link some images of girls from the interwebz who have a similar style to you in terms of fashion sense and makeup application?
    This is really hard to do, but this is the best that I can find.
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    Attachment 461879

    http://wavygirlhair.com/wp-content/u...4871584320.jpg
    (Original post by In One Ear)
    Hmmm, perhaps it has to do with your style and the way you are representing yourself. In the absence of a picture of you, could you perhaps link some images of girls from the interwebz who have a similar style to you in terms of fashion sense and makeup application?
    Sorry don't know why it didn't work first time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    • Where you are meeting men (other than bars/clubs)So clubs is a big one for me to be honest. Other places are from the sport that I do at uni, and just through mutual friends.• What age/backgrounds both yourself and these men are/are fromBecause I am still at uni at 23, most of the guys tend to be a couple of years younger than me. So like 20/21. White middle class background mainly.• How you are presenting yourselfWell I would say I'm presenting myself well! I always try and look my best. At clubs I will dress in more revealing clothes than I would during the day. So I will show a bit of cleavage for example. I do get quite drunk when i go out tbh. During the day I dress nicely imo!• How you are behavingI'm just usually very chatty and sociable. I like talking to a lot of new people. Smiley, fun, up for a laugh. That's my personality.• How you are responding to their (sexual) behaviourThis is where I think I may be going wrong. I don't discourage it straight away. I do respond to it. The reason I do is because I think that if i cut it off straight away they are going to get offended and then there's no chance of them liking me. • How picky you are being, and on what basis
    I'm not overly picky. All I want is someone who I think is fairly attractive, nice and up for a laugh.
    The couple of years younger is definitely a thing. The guy I ended up in a relationship with, was 25 when I was 21. If there aren't any sexy postgrads/ medics/ others doing a five year course. I'd recommend getting tinder or something as there'll be guys your age/ older. A lot of guys who are 20/21 have no problem going with 18 yearold girls. Think about the maturity gap.

    I absolutely hate this thread. It has already made you doubt:
    - your texting
    - your body in terms of boobs
    - your general attractiveness.

    I am pretty confident it's none of those things. The valid points are the age gap and also meeting guys on night out/ sports guys being more promiscuous then average. I really don't get why people are keeping on about the attractiveness thing. I've seen plenty of couples where the guy is actually more physically attractive than his girlfriend. Personality matters more when it comes to long term and like I said, the only thing that could be possibly holding you back is the cyclic 'not been in a relationship for ages causes negative feelings about self , negative feelings about self repels guys'. Because even with the age gap thing, there are exceptions (family friends who are married, hubby is three years younger then the wife).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah, I would say I get pretty much daily compliments where friends and other people that I vaguely know say that I look really good. I really don't think I am in denial, although this thread certainly is enough to get me to doubt myself!
    The thing is, is that at any one point in time, I would say I have like 8ish guys messaging me on a more than once daily basis trying to organise a time for us to have sex. I've had guys follow me to nightclubs that they know that I am going to on a particular night, even when their friends are not going / going elsewhere, just so they can try and get with me.

    So I really don't think that I can be that unattractive with all these guys wanting to have sex with me. This is what's getting me down. I just don't understand why all these guys are so fixated on the sex and don't want to get to know me as a person.
    O.o Damn... well if all that is true, I guess I see why you're so confident. Lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well that's why I'm asking!! Look, without being conceited I know that I'm not fancying guys that are above my level. It's definitely not that. I am good looking and the guys that I have been messaging that keep going on about sex are not out of my league. If anything, I would say most of them are not as attractive looking as myself.
    You probably are attractive, but you may have a look that suggests you're openly sexual. Or maybe it's your make up that suggests you want the D?

    I've met a lot of girls who are really attractive, but their make-up and hair screams "she wants sex".
 
 
 
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