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If you could write your personal statement totally honestly, what would you say? watch

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    "After spending 3 months working in retail I would rather, willingly, spend 5 years at uni than spend another day there. Please let me in."
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    Please give me an excuse to leave this crappy village. Also, I quite like neuroscience.
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    (Original post by chazwomaq)
    So I want to go university because I'm middle class and it's expected of me and my parents would totally freak out if I didn't. People will thinks less of me if I go through life without a degree.

    I want to do this particular degree because it's a solid traditional subject which people won't look down on. I don't know what job I will end up doing, but I imagine my colleagues will all have degrees so I should too.

    Finally, this personal statement is a waste of my time and yours. Are you really sitting there agonising over which of two students to give your last remaining offer to based on the bollox they write here? Or are you going to put their grades into an algorithm which will tell you whether they get an offer?

    PS: Since an early age I have always had a passion for [insert subject]...
    I can't tell if you're serious.
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    You simply cannot write a PS 100% honestly. As mentioned in freakonomics, unless you state are amazing, they won't assume you to be.
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    Mine was actually pretty honest...
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    Hi please let me in!!
    Thanks
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    Whatever experience you'd want someone to have - I have it. My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the *******s in charge, and, at least once a day, retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble Hell.
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    In in Year 12 so not doing PS yet but I will next year and if I could put what I want I would say...
    The truth is that I'm passionate for Chemistry because I love all the Chemistry songs and analogies e.g. in the following reaction Mg+ZnSO4 ------> MgSO4 + Zn, Zinc Sulphate meets Magnesium which is more reactive(more attractive in Chemistry), so he dumps Zinc and marries Magnesium because they fell in love and Zinc is on its own now. It gets really funny especially with the electron configuration thing. But sometimes it gets confusing and boring but I all get it in the end and make up funny analogies and it gives me an excuse to listen to Chemistry songs on YouTube.
    Titrations are my biggest hobby so far, so I have the practical skills for some Chemistry in the future.
    I haven't bothered ever with any work outside school because I have no clue about how it would relate to Chemistry- how would volunteering in a Hospice help me get a job where titrations are what I mostly do? Also Im too passionate about Chemistry to do something else and I cannot volunteer in a lab because I could unfortunately make something explode but nevertheless I still want to be a Chemist. Also I want to study Philosophy because maybe I will become famous for my ideas, Oh and I love criticizing some philosophy theories which is another hobby of mine.
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    Economics and mathematics are absolutely beautiful subjects. I first fell in love with it at the age of 3 and a half, when my uncle taught me simple differential calculus which I then used to derive the profit maximisation equation. Seeing how firms use these equations in real life is truly awe inspiring. This is just one of thousands of reasons I want to study the subject at university level.

    Economics graduates often go into investment banking- that is no secret. It’s also no secret that investment bankers make a load of cash, which is exactly what I want. Learning the Fisher equation at age 4.75 really taught me the importance of money. If I do an economics degree, then I will have lots of money. So it’s logical that you should accept me into your course (I’m looking at you, Oxford!).

    Some people asked me why don’t I do a business degree. My answer is simple; I ask them to think of a number. I tell them to add 47 to it, and then I ask if their number is 130. They will say no. That’s because it just simply doesn’t add up.

    And to be blunt, me doing anything degree other than economics and math simply does not add up. That is why I want to do this degree.

    I am a very determined individual. Once, I ate 10 packets of rolos just to impress a girl. Afterwards, I did feel rather sick but I believe that this shows my drive to get the job done. I was also very committed in my A Level studies, when I studied use of maths, business studies, politics and general studies. In my AS Levels I achieved DUDE. I was thrilled about this because how many others can say their AS Levels spell such a cool word? It’s almost as cool as my GCSEs, which actually spell FUDGE (yes, G is a grade!).

    I really love engaging with the economy and am often told off by my teachers for constantly being on my phone. Little do they know that I am checking up on the economy. Just last night I was up until 4am browsing wallstreetoasis.com and tutor2u, indulging myself in the subject. I then woke up at 6am to replicate the life of an investment banker, which as discussed earlier, is my ambition. Models and bottles are my favourite part of being a banker.

    I also like economics because it is a method that I often utilise when I want to pick up girls. Sometimes I will perform some cost benefit analysis on a girl and then if the benefits outweigh the costs, I will use a chat up line such as ‘I like U- Shaped curves’. The success rate is approximately equal to 1/e.
    In conclusion you should choose me for your course because I am a good economist and I am also extremely passionate about mathematics.
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    I have helped out at several college open evenings so it looks like I'm actually doing something beneficial.
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    Dear Sir/Madam/Whatever they add on these days.

    I'm an international student who has good grades and speaks fluent English. My potential sponsor will pay more for me than you'll get from 3-4 UK students. So, do I need to add more and waste your time???

    Thanks,
    Overseas Student.
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    TLDR: Skip the bull**** , and just click accept . You'll get through the pile of Personal statements much quicker ^^
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    '...Please...?'
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    I could have 100% in all of my exams, but the opportunity cost (I love economics so much that I use economic theory in making every decision) of not sleeping or being unable to travel half way across the country to watch basketball games every weekend, to write the necessary essays to get a high grade. I even found a way to write essays on the overpriced monopoly of a bus service I have to catch to college each day in order to boost my productivity.
    Oh and its not my fault that my punctuality is ****, that would be the monopolistic bus company again who don't seem to understand basic statistical documents called timetables, which are a waste of both land (the materials used to make the paper), and capital goods used in the printing.
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    I wanted to apply to HYPSM but I have no important extracurriculars so here I am.
    I have no passion for this course, except that it has biology and chemistry. I would much rather be studying Neuroscience or something, but then that means I'd have no job.
    I have no money, so if you could give me a scolarship that'd be great.
    I'm super smart (just look at my grades) and I promise after graduating I'll become super famous and give you all the credit.
    So you see this could be a symbiotic relationship. What do you say eh?
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    mine's actually pretty honest. Basically said 'I used to think physics was boring, but now i think it's quite good. i've read some books. please let me in.'
    got an offer already so it can't be that bad!
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    "I don't know what else to do with my life, pls give me an offer"
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    I am fascinated with Computer Science because Computer Science is a diverse subject, and Computer Science can be applied anywhere, furthermore, Computer Science allows us to make discoveries about Computer Science, such as how computers are made. From the moment of my conception in the womb, it was clear that I was meant to study Computer Science, and I have been studying Computer Science ever since I was born.
    I've done a bit of programming in my spare time, and by that, I really do mean "a bit." That shows I at least have some interest in Computer Science, right? The most programming I've done was bits of a game that I never really was bothered to complete. Most of my time is just spent idly doing nothing after being tired from a day at school, and not doing ridiculous amounts of extracurricular activities just to make myself look like a better person. The only one I can name is being a library monitor which was in years 9 and 10 and has no relevance to the course whatsoever. I did some work experience, which I was forced into by my school twice, and on both occasions, I went to the same company, because I was too lazy to actually look beyond a 2 mile radius of my house. What I learnt from these two positions I have no idea, but hey I used computers, so there's a link to Computer Science.
    I also like learning Japanese and about politics. How this makes my statement look any better I don't know, it says everywhere to put "extracurricular activities" so I did that too. Don't tell anyone, but I secretly like these more than programming. I get up in the morning at 7:00am, and not 7:01am on most days which shows I am a highly motivated student, and I walk to school instead of taking public transport, which shows I have good time management skills. I am also very resourceful in the house, I eat whatever I can get my hands on without having to go to the shop to buy food, which shows my good money management skills and that I can make the most of everything I have.
    Anyway, give me an offer now. I will make your institute at least £27,000 richer, and rejecting my application will mean a missed opportunity to earn £27,000.
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    ur uni is a target and i want to be an investment banker so its a no brainer, accept my application so i can get out the ghetto. kk thnx bai
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    " I don't really want to attend your university, but I'm determined to move out and quit my extra ****ty job in retail, 5 years and 60K + debt with no guarantees is the preferable option... Please give me a low offer, I can't be arsed to revise. Good day!"
 
 
 
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