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Colleague said something homophobic watch

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    (Original post by Veggiechic6)
    Did she in some way treat you differently after you revealed you were gay to her? If not, you haven't been discriminated against. Simple as.

    It seems quite confrontational to say that to you after you told her you were gay, but she's still entitled to her opinion.
    um no she is not "entitled to her opinion", there are company rules about not being racist and homophobic ya know.
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    She has a right to believe what she wants. Leave it to gay people to avoid her. I suspect they're perfectly safe from her. Besides, she probably chooses not to associate with them.

    I'm assuming your concern is for the safety of gay people. Apologies if I'm mistaken.
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    (Original post by Inexorably)
    It is homophobia, but she wasn't trying to openly attack you individually over it or anyone personally.. so I'd say let it go. I think you should have told her that her opinion was outdated and how you feel about it etc. but on this occasion, she wasn't trying to personally attack you so.. it'd be a bit unfair to try get her in trouble over that.
    so she wasn't trying to attack me individually, she was trying to attack millions of gay people as a whole? that makes her good?


    As I said, my boss is a gay man. I'm sure he would be delighted to know that one employee is being homophobic towards other employees.
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    (Original post by Inexorably)
    It is homophobia, but she wasn't trying to openly attack you individually over it or anyone personally.. so I'd say let it go. I think you should have told her that her opinion was outdated and how you feel about it etc. but on this occasion, she wasn't trying to personally attack you so.. it'd be a bit unfair to try get her in trouble over that.
    How is telling a gay person they are wrong for being gay not a personal attack?
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    Maybe I didn't say clearly enough in the OP.

    > I said I am gay
    > She told me being gay is wrong

    In that order.
    I'm curious. This was the first time that you ever spoke to this person. How did you get to telling her you were gay? I don't think I've ever discussed my sexuality with anyone at work, let alone someone I'd just met.
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    can't have been a slip of the tongue.

    when she said it, i was just stunned, gobsmacked that someone would say that to my face and at work. so I asked what she meant, and she just repeated herself.

    also she works here 2 hours a week i'm sure she will live. I don't care if she becomes more homophobic or whatever. that's her problem not mine.

    as for proof, one of my friends (colleagues) was in the conversation with us.

    I wanted to but I was in stunned silence.
    I doubt she would have been so vocal with her opinion if she knew you were actually were gay. You're going to get a lot of people like her in life, you just deal with it and get on with life. I'm a redhead and I can't even begin to tell you about the amount of bullying and abuse I've had because of my hair but if you don't let it hurt you, you will be stronger because of it. Just be like Superman let the hate bounce off you like bullets. Life will be difficult for you if you feel perpetually victimised.

    (Original post by driftawaay)
    I don't think she would need explicit proof. There is no reason she would make up a story about some random person at work (one whom she doesn't even know personally) making homophobic comments to her. The employer will believe her over the woman. As for 'she will become even more homophobic', who cares?

    I'm pretty sure OP has never told a person they are disgusting and inferior or wrong after someone told them they are biracial, so no, it wasn't just a slip of the tongue.
    Some people do, some people are nasty and vindictive. I highly doubt the OP has never said or done anything nasty in her life either. Everyone does nasty things sometimes.
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    um no she is not "entitled to her opinion", there are company rules about not being racist and homophobic ya know.
    But she wasn't being homophobic!! I've already said this, you're using the label incorrectly. Homophobia is hating gays, treating them differently etc, that's not what was said.
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    so she wasn't trying to attack me individually, she was trying to attack millions of gay people as a whole? that makes her good?


    As I said, my boss is a gay man. I'm sure he would be delighted to know that one employee is being homophobic towards other employees.
    You have an easy situation if the boss is gay as well
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    lmao are you serious? how on earth is it not homophobic?? yes it's her opinion but its an offensive bigoted opinion.If I told one of my black colleagues that I thought it is wrong of them to be black, that it was inappropriate for black people to be here, then I would get fired and rightly so.
    Why do you insist on comparing homosexuality to black people? You are not the first one to do this here. You are trying to latch on to the black movement to support your own gay agenda. I see that as bigoted and many black people find this very offensive.
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    so she wasn't trying to attack me individually, she was trying to attack millions of gay people as a whole? that makes her good?


    As I said, my boss is a gay man. I'm sure he would be delighted to know that one employee is being homophobic towards other employees.
    No, he probably wouldn't be delighted. He'd probably think you were wasting his time trying to use him to scapegoat people you don't like.
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    (Original post by driftawaay)
    How is telling a gay person they are wrong for being gay not a personal attack?
    Only originally read the FP and not any more of her posts, she made it sound like her colleague was making a simple offhanded comment. If the OP quite clearly told her she was gay and then she said it was wrong, then that is a problem and the OP should have the brainpower to go and tell her manager/supervisor about her comments.

    (Original post by Treeroy)
    so she wasn't trying to attack me individually, she was trying to attack millions of gay people as a whole? that makes her good?


    As I said, my boss is a gay man. I'm sure he would be delighted to know that one employee is being homophobic towards other employees.
    RE: Millions of gay people. She wasn't attacking anyone DIRECTLY - she uttered her own opinion to you, she didn't find the nearest gay person and start dehumanising them. Sure she probably should have kept her opinion to herself, but she is still entitled to think that way regardless of how messed up it is.

    I also don't appreciate your attitude by trying to make it out as if she was going on some kind of gay crusade, what she did was ****ty but it doesn't mean you need to exaggerate to that extent.

    See my reply to drift also.
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    I would ignore it, why would you want to potentially ruin someones career due to an opinion they have? They are not stopping you being gay, they just don't agree with it which is a perfectly acceptable view to have
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    (Original post by Inexorably)
    Only originally read the FP and not any more of her posts, she made it sound like her colleague was making a simple offhanded comment. If the OP quite clearly told her she was gay and then she said it was wrong, then that is a problem and the OP should have the brainpower to go and tell her manager/supervisor about her comments.
    Yes that is what happened. OP told her she is gay and then the woman told her being gay is wrong.
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    At work today, we have a woman who is in our store every saturday morning, we pay her to make balloons and facepaint for customers with little kids. I talked to her for the first time today and she said something homophobic to me ("it's just wrong to be gay" I wanted to smack her... I do not tolerate homophobia at all and especially not at work.

    What should I do? She is not a normal employee she is almost like a 'contractor' person I guess.
    she's entitled to her own opinion and you are to yours. Feeling angry won't change her opinion.
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    (Original post by Plantagenet Crown)
    Inform her that homosexuality is not a choice and present in many animal species, therefore not wrong.

    Tell her that discriminating on the basis of someone's sexual preferences is what's wrong.
    Aaaah because if an animal does it it must not be wrong.
    I guess because pigs watch their partners mate with other pigs that's okay for me to allow my wife to walk in on me 'mating' with her sister or i guess because many animals are polygamous its okay for me to get a load of women pregnant and leave.

    You cannot compare a humans morals to the morals and actions of animals.
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    (Original post by driftawaay)
    Yes that is what happened. OP told her she is gay and then the woman told her being gay is wrong.
    God I am literally the worst at phrasing my paragraphs. I meant to say in somewhere that I did read some more of her posts and saw that it was a direct attack
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    (Original post by Howard)
    I'm curious. This was the first time that you ever spoke to this person. How did you get to telling her you were gay? I don't think I've ever discussed my sexuality with anyone at work, let alone someone I'd just met.
    she was talking about celebrities and she asked me who I thought is hot.

    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    I doubt she would have been so vocal with her opinion if she knew you were actually were gay. You're going to get a lot of people like her in life, you just deal with it and get on with life. I'm a redhead and I can't even begin to tell you about the amount of bullying and abuse I've had because of my hair but if you don't let it hurt you, you will be stronger because of it. Just be like Superman let the hate bounce off you like bullets. Life will be difficult for you if you feel perpetually victimised.Some people do, some people are nasty and vindictive. I highly doubt the OP has never said or done anything nasty in her life either. Everyone does nasty things sometimes.
    I have red hair too, stop telling me to "just accept it". For a long time I did just try to ignore homophobia. Now it really ****s me off and I want to hurt anyone who is homophobic to me.
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    (Original post by Treeroy)
    i am not interested in changing her views or "debating", i just want to not be discriminated against at work! is it that hard to understand??
    Firstly, there's no need for the attitude, I haven't said anything wrong by you. Maybe you should work on that.

    Secondly, I'm not talking about a debate but a discussion. If you're not interested in having a discussion with someone to see if you can come to terms or develop (very questionable) then you're essentially asking to have someone either lose their job over this (possible), accept your opinion without you reasoning with them (impossible and irrational), or have them suffer some type of suspension (possible).

    Therefore, your only option given what you've said is to report this person to the head of their company (if they're a contractor). They will most likely either lose their job or get some type of suspension. As I said before, I don't understand why anyone would choose this over a critical, constructive discussion unless they have some kind of social problem where they can't talk to people (which I'm not implying you have) but then again they probably wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

    So there you go, the only answer you can expect given that you refuse to adhere to the natural process of human discussion- report them.
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    (Original post by driftawaay)
    But homophobes don't have the mental capacity to understand complex explanations like that...
    (Original post by driftawaay)
    Wait that's actually a good idea...
    I'm sorry but you are the stupidest person i have ever seen.

    Complex explanations such as whatever an animal does must be okay? No that's what is stupid. Please refer to my previous comment.

    Please enlighten me to where you found that mental capacity and homophobia correlate and is a proof of causation.

    Recommending Physical Abuse and Violence; seems you have great intellect.

    Where the hell do you find that racism and homophobia come together? No, i think you are just very ignorant and closed minded to consider that maybe things in which society have been made to think is right isn't in fact right!
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    Someone said something, you took offence, and now you're blowing it out of proportion. Unless they live a private life of going round punching gay people, I don't see why you're taking this so hard? Everyone has worked with absolute cretins in work or school, but that's life. You can't just cry and complain your way through growing up.
 
 
 
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