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    firstly where are you finding these girls you are asking out? online? the street? work? bar/club? social club? ...it can make a big differance to your results.

    secondly, are you waiting for some sign of signal before going in there and asking them out? doesn't sound like it if you are being rejected so much. contary to popular belief during successful relationship initiation it is actually the woman who picks the man in 65% of cases.

    what I am saying here, is that usually when a man is actually successful it is because the woman has sent some kind of sign which he has picked up on. If you are just cold approaching women without no signs [which it looks like you're doing] then you have to expect a lot of rejection.

    Also what is your race?
    are you going for women outside your race?
    If so [and you are not a white male] then expect a significant amount of dating discrimination based on your race. unfortunately dating is not equal oppertunities. Despite what people claim. Race matters A LOT

    Also what looks level of women are you going for?
    you may need to consider the fact that you are aiming too high and need to lower your standards. If you are as good looking as you claim, and going for girls of the same race, and going for girls around your level then i would expect you to be having a bit more success than you are currently.

    also try to meet women in social circles or social groups rather than the street or clubs as their standards are a bit lower.

    being a doctor is a good profession to have.
    30 - 50 years ago, you would have been able to get dates with desireable women just off the back of that.
    unfortunately things have changed and having a good job carries far less weight than it used to. Women these days are pretty liberated, feminism is rife, they earn a lot of money too these days so don't have to rely on men that much. As a result the majority of women your age are much more focused on LOOKS rather than him having a good job.

    For anyone hoping that their good job [money earnt] will have a significant positive impact on their dating life, you really need to be earning like £150,000+ per annum ...and im totally serious, i've seen studies done on it.
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    (Original post by infumed)
    Lol to be honest I can't do a cheeky smile and wit isn't really my strong suit either. Is that the only way to do it? That's actually really hard

    i always ask for the number and explicitly say we'll go out sometime, so I'm sure they know I'm hitting on them. But they either say they are already in a relationship or that they're not interested
    Maybe practice the smile in a mirror or something, try a little 'eye smile' too (though probably not at the same time).

    I think you have to do something earlier on, because by the time you've asked for her number you've presumably been speaking for a little while so if you haven't done anything a bit flirtly then the request might come a bit out of the blue for the girl. Women want to feel some chemistry, but just talking about their hobbies or favorite movies isn't generally enough.

    A couple of other suggestions for you: (they're probably a bit more risky but might be more natural for you)

    Physical contact - briefly touch her arm / shoulder infrequently (you don't want to do this too much as it will work against you, but 2-3 times is enough to break the touch barrier and maybe get girls to see you in a different way). Length is also important, you don't want to linger but you're also not just playing a game of tag.

    Space in between you and the girl - You could be having the most boring conversation in the world, but if your bodies are touching, your faces are a few inches away and you're looking into each others eyes then sparks will be flying. I'm not saying rush over and put your face inches away from a girl, but if you're just a foot away instead of 1.5 / 2 feet away it makes a big difference. If while you're talking you realise its going well you should try and get a little bit closer, she'll move back if she's uncomfortable but its probably not going to torpedo your chances.

    Also have you tried online dating?
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    Let the women come to you. Ask the women who like you on dates.

    Go to the gym, get your health in check, get hobbies, etc. Why do you want a girlfriend anyway? Lots of advantages to being young and single. It's not a race. Lots of people in relationships sometimes wish they were single.


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    I don't really accept that you should have to learn to become witty in order to meet someone. There will be other people like you. Lots of girls like a more serious man, or at any rate don't need their partner to be telling jokes all the time. And lots of girls would appreciate chivalry as much as flirtation. I never enjoy it when I can tell that someone has recently learned the banter/humour they're using on me. It's fake.
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    (Original post by infumed)
    I understand what ur saying. But I dunno how active 50 year olds are to play sports with their kids. Perhaps, but I doubt it's ideal

    It's just getting a girl to actually go out with you is like climbing Everest. I've literally been trying for over 20 years with absolute zero luck so far. It's probably the hardest thing I've tried to do in my whole life, and I'm a doc!
    Stop trying too hard. Just be yourself. You'll find someone when you least expect it. There's no rush, you're still young.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    firstly where are you finding these girls you are asking out? online? the street? work? bar/club? social club? ...it can make a big differance to your results.

    secondly, are you waiting for some sign of signal before going in there and asking them out? doesn't sound like it if you are being rejected so much. contary to popular belief during successful relationship initiation it is actually the woman who picks the man in 65% of cases.

    what I am saying here, is that usually when a man is actually successful it is because the woman has sent some kind of sign which he has picked up on. If you are just cold approaching women without no signs [which it looks like you're doing] then you have to expect a lot of rejection.

    Also what is your race?
    are you going for women outside your race?
    If so [and you are not a white male] then expect a significant amount of dating discrimination based on your race. unfortunately dating is not equal oppertunities. Despite what people claim. Race matters A LOT

    Also what looks level of women are you going for?
    you may need to consider the fact that you are aiming too high and need to lower your standards. If you are as good looking as you claim, and going for girls of the same race, and going for girls around your level then i would expect you to be having a bit more success than you are currently.

    also try to meet women in social circles or social groups rather than the street or clubs as their standards are a bit lower.

    being a doctor is a good profession to have.
    30 - 50 years ago, you would have been able to get dates with desireable women just off the back of that.
    unfortunately things have changed and having a good job carries far less weight than it used to. Women these days are pretty liberated, feminism is rife, they earn a lot of money too these days so don't have to rely on men that much. As a result the majority of women your age are much more focused on LOOKS rather than him having a good job.

    For anyone hoping that their good job [money earnt] will have a significant positive impact on their dating life, you really need to be earning like £150,000+ per annum ...and im totally serious, i've seen studies done on it.
    Yh i guess ur right, I'm not waiting for a sign before approaching women. But I've honestly never been given a sign at all so for me to wait would literally mean me not asking out any girl.

    My race is half Arab and half pakistani so I'm not sure what to say about that? lol i guess that means i can ask out arab/ asian girls? but tbh at this point i'd pretty much settle for absolutely any girl

    I generally go for absolutely any girl who seems in my age range (20-30). I usually ask out girls on the street but not when theres loads of people around as thats a bit uncomfortable. For me to ask out a girl, i think a maximum of 2 or 3 people need to be around her

    I really don't have the time to go to social groups or gatherings as i work as a surgical SHO so I'm always in hospital, in fact, going to the gym once every week or so is difficult enough. As much as i really, really, really, want a girlfriend, my career and training means more to me.
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    (Original post by jblackmoustache)
    Let the women come to you. Ask the women who like you on dates.

    Go to the gym, get your health in check, get hobbies, etc. Why do you want a girlfriend anyway? Lots of advantages to being young and single. It's not a race. Lots of people in relationships sometimes wish they were single.


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    Like i've said, i try to go to the gym as much as possible but anything other than this is just not feasible at the present time. Im literally always at the hospital and any free time is spent at home (or with a potential girlfriend in the future).
    Also i want a girlfriend coz I've NEVER had a girlfriend before. So although you seem like a man who speaks from experience, I've never experienced that before and literally don't even know what it feels like to be with a girl. Ive never kissed a girl or done anything physical with one ever. In fact, if i did get a gf by some miracle, i would literally have no idea where to take her on a date or even what to do on a date or even what to say to her!

    lol the day i get a girlfriend will be the day i post another thread online asking for help how to take out a girl.

    Ur a lucky man jblack, that you've been out with a girl and actually have the skills to successfully date a girl. Don't take that skill for granted, its the key for you to ensure you don't die alone and always have someone by your side. Other's are not so lucky...
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    (Original post by samzy21)
    Stop trying too hard. Just be yourself. You'll find someone when you least expect it. There's no rush, you're still young.

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Lol, well nothings happened for the last 20 years. Im literally at a loss as to how everyone on this thread managed to actually get a girlfriend. It's actually incredible that you guys managed to impress a girl. Was there some secret class at high school that i missed or something? lool

    I must say that if you all actually have managed to get a girl in the past (and ur not all just lying), the feat that you have accomplished is nothing less than praiseworthy. Very well done
    • #8
    #8

    Dude, I know somewhat how you feel. I haven't been in a relationship for 5 years and I look at myself like dayym I need to get back in the game. For me I think I'm just being overly patient and have had pretty bad luck too. A lot of my housemates just have one night stands and stuff, but I'd rather have something of significance.
    Since you're a fair bit older than me, it's understandable why you're concerned, I would be too! In fact, it's creeping up on me now because my best friends back home are all in relationships too lol. I find a lot of my friends find relationships through friends of friends. So maybe try to hangout more?
    I haven't got many good friends in uni yet, so it's slightly difficult at the moment, but a pretty girl in my badminton society said she'd message me when she goes to play outside of the club. It's been like week but I'm too afraid of chasing it up as I don't want to appear 'desperate' haha. Wish me luck xD
    All the best to you sir!
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    (Original post by infumed)
    Yh i guess ur right, I'm not waiting for a sign before approaching women. But I've honestly never been given a sign at all so for me to wait would literally mean me not asking out any girl.

    My race is half Arab and half pakistani so I'm not sure what to say about that? lol i guess that means i can ask out arab/ asian girls? but tbh at this point i'd pretty much settle for absolutely any girl

    I generally go for absolutely any girl who seems in my age range (20-30). I usually ask out girls on the street but not when theres loads of people around as thats a bit uncomfortable. For me to ask out a girl, i think a maximum of 2 or 3 people need to be around her

    I really don't have the time to go to social groups or gatherings as i work as a surgical SHO so I'm always in hospital, in fact, going to the gym once every week or so is difficult enough. As much as i really, really, really, want a girlfriend, my career and surgical training means more to me.

    ok, i can see the big picture now and where you are going wrong. I'm gonna drop a few more truth pills on you, .. you might not like it, but it's for your own good as you are getting knowhere with this.

    Firstly stop hitting on women in the street.
    I don't care what PUA guru told you can get laid like a rockstar if you put in the hours and become good enough, ... the reality is very few guys actually get laid that way. Notice how most of the main guru's are moderately good looking white dude's too. Years ago when I didn't know any better when I was into PUA I went to some meetups. Some meetups were so big had over 50 of us hitting the streets at a time. I often used to ask around at the end to see if anyone got any numbers. I would say only like 10% of the people there managed to get a number on any given day, and this was a normal occurance. I also would ask around who's ever had a date from a street approach or got laid. I would say like 5% or less had gotton laid from this.

    second truth pill you need to realise, is that in general white women are not keen on Arab's. I hope you are not approaching white women. You're not a freshie, which is good ... but trust me, if you are approaching white women on the street as an Arab it's like playing your favourite video game on the hardest setting with one hand tied behind your back. I live in an area where a lot of arabs approach women in the street and women are really cold towards them.

    go to a socially acceptable place, like a bar/club/social event and hit on Indian/arab women around age 20 for best results [you are 26],
    ideally though wait for a signal.

    if you really must hit on women in the street then do it on friday/saturday night. the differance in receptability is like night and day. Women are in the mood to meet men.

    regarding gym, i appreciate that you work a lot so find it difficult to go often ...but i'll be honest with you, going once a week is not really enough to make good gains. it will take you like 3 months to put on like 2lbs of muscle, and that's if you're lucky. You're right in your thinking though, in that most likely putting on muscle will make you more attractive to women. however, you really need to be going 2 or 3 times a week if you want to see resonable progress.

    if you only take one thing from this post stop hitting on women in the street. It's not really a socially acceptable way to go about finding a partner. Yes, it does work for some men, but for much much more it yields absolutely nothing. In general it is extremely rare for women to send signs [in the street] that they want to be hit on, this is probably partly why you arn't seeing signs. Go to a bar/club/social event

    Surely you can take one evening [once a week] to go to these places. If you won't go then obviously you don't want a gf as much as you claim.
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    (Original post by infumed)
    Hi I was hoping someone on here could help me out. For a long time now, i've found it incredibly difficult to meet a girl. In fact, it's come to the point that i really have no idea what to do anymore. I consider myself an average to above average looking guy. I'm a doctor so i have good job and i'd say I'm pretty well off financially as well (at least until the new junior doc contracts are imposed). I try to go to the gym as much as possible, although it's difficult working as a surgical SHO as I'm pretty much always in the operating theatre. However, no matter what i do, or how many girls numbers i get (and tbh i don't get that many) i haven't been able to go on ANY dates. I'm 26 this year and i've never had a girlfriend or even kissed a girl. It's frustrating because i see people all around me who make it seem incredibly easy and technically, something like meeting a girl and forming a relationship shouldn't be that hard in theory. I don't think it's got anything to do with confidence really, as i talk to SO many people on a daily basis, ranging from co-workers to the many hundreds of patients that i see in any given week. So my question is that, is there anything i can really do to boost my chances to get a girl. Although i never try to exhibit this is any of my interaction, i personally feel soo desperate for a girl that i would pretty much settle for any girl.
    You're a doctor, you shouldn't be having problems getting a woman

    Instead of focusing so much on getting a woman; concentrate on your career, relax, be confident and woman will come to you. Desperation is the biggest turn off ever. Act like you don't care and women will be attracted. Being funny and witty helps a lot aswell.
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    (Original post by infumed)
    Lol, well nothings happened for the last 20 years. Im literally at a loss as to how everyone on this thread managed to actually get a girlfriend. It's actually incredible that you guys managed to impress a girl. Was there some secret class at high school that i missed or something? lool

    I must say that if you all actually have managed to get a girl in the past (and ur not all just lying), the feat that you have accomplished is nothing less than praiseworthy. Very well done
    Lol 20 years? You must have been what 5/6 and you were looking for a girl then?

    I've never had a girlfriend either, I'm a girl lol

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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    You're a doctor, you shouldn't be having problems getting a woman

    Instead of focusing so much on getting a woman; concentrate on your career, relax, be confident and woman will come to you. Desperation is the biggest turn off ever. Act like you don't care and women will be attracted. Being funny and witty helps a lot aswell.
    No, honestly that doesn't work. Perhaps for you, women are throwing themselves at u with minimal effort on ur part, but obviously, things are very different for the rest of us

    You say like being a doctor is a magical title that automatically makes girls jump to your lap. The truth is far from that unfortunately. In reality, girls don't really care that ur a doctor and the only reason i mentioned it was to give you guys a picture of how my working weeks is pretty hectic and may not allow me to spend 5 days in the gym or whatever. I haven't really actively been approaching women since a short time before i began this thread. All throughout school, college and 6 years of uni- i didn't manage to attract even a single girl. I need to do something about this as it can't just keep going on
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    (Original post by samzy21)
    Lol 20 years? You must have been what 5/6 and you were looking for a girl then?

    I've never had a girlfriend either, I'm a girl lol

    Posted from TSR Mobile
    haha ok maybe i exaggerated. But it definitely feels that long! lol x
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    (Original post by ANM775)
    ok, i can see the big picture now and where you are going wrong. I'm gonna drop a few more truth pills on you, .. you might not like it, but it's for your own good as you are getting knowhere with this.

    Firstly stop hitting on women in the street.
    I don't care what PUA guru told you can get laid like a rockstar if you put in the hours and become good enough, ... the reality is very few guys actually get laid that way. Notice how most of the main guru's are moderately good looking white dude's too. Years ago when I didn't know any better when I was into PUA I went to some meetups. Some meetups were so big had over 50 of us hitting the streets at a time. I often used to ask around at the end to see if anyone got any numbers. I would say only like 10% of the people there managed to get a number on any given day, and this was a normal occurance. I also would ask around who's ever had a date from a street approach or got laid. I would say like 5% or less had gotton laid from this.

    second truth pill you need to realise, is that in general white women are not keen on Arab's. I hope you are not approaching white women. You're not a freshie, which is good ... but trust me, if you are approaching white women on the street as an Arab it's like playing your favourite video game on the hardest setting with one hand tied behind your back. I live in an area where a lot of arabs approach women in the street and women are really cold towards them.

    go to a socially acceptable place, like a bar/club/social event and hit on Indian/arab women around age 20 for best results [you are 26],
    ideally though wait for a signal.

    if you really must hit on women in the street then do it on friday/saturday night. the differance in receptability is like night and day. Women are in the mood to meet men.

    regarding gym, i appreciate that you work a lot so find it difficult to go often ...but i'll be honest with you, going once a week is not really enough to make good gains. it will take you like 3 months to put on like 2lbs of muscle, and that's if you're lucky. You're right in your thinking though, in that most likely putting on muscle will make you more attractive to women. however, you really need to be going 2 or 3 times a week if you want to see resonable progress.

    if you only take one thing from this post stop hitting on women in the street. It's not really a socially acceptable way to go about finding a partner. Yes, it does work for some men, but for much much more it yields absolutely nothing. In general it is extremely rare for women to send signs [in the street] that they want to be hit on, this is probably partly why you arn't seeing signs. Go to a bar/club/social event

    Surely you can take one evening [once a week] to go to these places. If you won't go then obviously you don't want a gf as much as you claim.
    Ahh man that sucks, i really like white girls. So you think i should definitely not be going anywhere near them?

    I think can try for twice a week to the gym but 3 times isn't gonna happen, I'm often working over 60 hours a week as it is. What exactly do u mean by a social event?
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    You will find someone, eventually
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    (Original post by infumed)
    Ahh man that sucks, i really like white girls. So you think i should definitely not be going anywhere near them?

    I think can try for twice a week to the gym but 3 times isn't gonna happen, I'm often working over 60 hours a week as it is. What exactly do u mean by a social event?

    You should not expect to achieve getting a white girl via cold approach in the street, and given your race it's probably best you forget about them. If you're very very lucky you might meet one via more normal means, but I wouldn't put money on it.

    Try citysocializer or meet up.com via Google to find social events.

    I honestly think you'd stand a decent chance with your own race if you went to some social events. Indian women value proffesion more than white women
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    Do I have one ????
    • #6
    #6

    Dude let me tell you something, you will NEVER find a girlfriend as a doctor. Quit and start a band or something. Girls love guys in bands.
    • #9
    #9

    This is why we need arranged marriages. Makes life easier.
 
 
 
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