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Why do I have better luck w/ (conventionally) good looking men than unattractive men?

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Reply 60
Original post by MountKimbie
Most people need external validation. But I see you used the word rely, which is a bit different.

Tell me i'm pretty whorace. :teehee:


I'm talking about the girls who post pictures of themselves looking great (and they know it) but put themselves down for attention. It's the most frustrating character trait ever. There's a girl who posted in one of the threads earlier about how she thought she was pretty and people said she was arrogant, I think she's bloody brilliant.

No, I don't think you're pretty Sir, but then again I do like women so I wouldn't take it too seriously.
Original post by whorace
I'm talking about the girls who post pictures of themselves looking great (and they know it) but put themselves down for attention. It's the most frustrating character trait ever. There's a girl who posted in one of the threads earlier about how she thought she was pretty and people said she was arrogant, I think she's bloody brilliant.

No, I don't think you're pretty Sir, but then again I do like women so I wouldn't take it too seriously.


Self depreciation I think is a better trait than vanity. I think if you feel you are attractive, great. Keep it to yourself. There is no humble way of displaying your confidence when it comes to how you look.
Reply 62
Original post by MountKimbie
Self depreciation I think is a better trait than vanity. I think if you feel you are attractive, great. Keep it to yourself. There is no humble way of displaying your confidence when it comes to how you look.


I suppose both parties are guilty of attention seeking, if you are pretty why do you need to draw attention to it yourself? At the same time saying you are ugly, when you know you are not, is just crying for attention.
Original post by Jebedee
Looks like the ugly guys are intimidated by you. But you seem to have some insecurity issues too.

Girls who actively hunt out less attractive people tend to be extremely narcissistic and can't handle being the lesser attractive half of a couple.


Ah right. So it's narcissistic to go for someone below your level of attractiveness. I suppose it is narcissistic to go for someone above as well. Lose, lose then. I will try and find the male version of me next time then.

And I never said I was attractive so perhaps those guys I like are actually on my level.
Original post by xobeauty
Not so good looking guys can be pickier and expect more then just looks, and more critical.


Yes I guess some of them do expect more than looks. The thing is I don't think I'm even a looker myself, I've always known I would have to bring more to the table because of it. Still doesn't seem to be enough for them though.
Original post by whorace
If a guy can't look after himself why do you expect him to look after you?


Hmm that's a good point... I will keep that in mind :smile:
Original post by Dheorl
Clearly fishing, hoping to hear the answer you've already constructed in your own head. Try harder next time honey.


I'm not fishing for anything. I said I'm not even pretty. Although I am proud of my body because I work hard to maintain it though there's still room for improvement. I've not even posted a photo of myself so there are no compliments to fish for.
could be that you're an attention seeker
Original post by HmmIsIt
So you're saying these guys are not even average, and very bad to look at?
I seriously doubt that.


Yes.. They are what a lot of people would consider below average. I never said very bad to look at though again to give an arbitrary number 3-4 out of 10 which assuming 5 is average means below average but it could be worse. I've had many occasions where my friends, friends of the guy, work colleagues my own mum and even complete strangers have laughed at me for being with these guys or told me I can do better.

I would consider myself facially a 4 (so a bit below average, and I'm happy with that) but body wise a 7 because I work out hard and I make a big effort on the way I dress. The men I like always make pretty much effort with their bodies, grooming and clothing. Again these numbers are just to illustrate people will have different opinions.
Original post by Anonymous
could be that you're an attention seeker


Um, no. If I was attention seeking there would be much better ways to do it i.e. posting photos.
Original post by MountKimbie
This.. I'm so ridiculously picky I've only had one gf at 23 years old.


Well from your photo, I would probably not go for a guy like you because your face is too nice for my liking :tongue: Sorry :h:
Original post by Anonymous
Yes I guess some of them do expect more than looks. The thing is I don't think I'm even a looker myself, I've always known I would have to bring more to the table because of it. Still doesn't seem to be enough for them though.


You just deal with people who have high expections then.
Original post by Anonymous
Well from your photo, I would probably not go for a guy like you because your face is too nice for my liking :tongue: Sorry :h:


Aw :frown: does personality not count for anything
Reply 73
Original post by MountKimbie
Aw :frown: does personality not count for anything


If you like I can punch you to give it a rough shape :lol:
Reply 74
Original post by Anonymous
I'm not fishing for anything. I said I'm not even pretty. Although I am proud of my body because I work hard to maintain it though there's still room for improvement. I've not even posted a photo of myself so there are no compliments to fish for.


I said fishing for an answer, not for compliments. Please learn to read in addition to sorting out your vanity.
Original post by whorace
If you like I can punch you to give it a rough shape :lol:


Errr sure? Maybe anon will go for me if I look a bit battered
Reply 76
Original post by MountKimbie
Aw :frown: does personality not count for anything


Friend zonedddd
Original post by Anonymous
I'm baffled. Can anyone explain this phenomenon?

When it comes to attraction, I actually find myself more drawn to men who are below average. I don't really believe in ratings to illustrate a point for the purpose of this thread let's say I tend to go for guys who are like a 3 or 4 out of 10. However, I have come to find most of these guys were not interested in me and ended up rejecting me and some treated me bad. Many did not want a relationship generally but some simply didn't like me.

The guys that tend to go for me tend to be conventionally good looking tall, dark and handsome with athletic bodies and aesthetic faces like 8+ out of 10. They tend to treat me much better, be more respectful, compliment me, and show more interest and care, pursue me and want to be in a relationship with me. However, for some odd reason I'm not really into them and prefer my diamonds in the rough.

As for myself I wouldn't even say that I'm pretty. I get described mostly as 'cute'. I eat well and I workout (6-8 hours a week) and I'm slim so I would say I have a decent body I'm petite and a size 6 in clothes.

So what could it be?


Sexual psychologist here

The reason is because you prefer to "receive and believe". its the female version of pump and dump. However you like to "receive and believe" due to a stressful event with a male (Possibly father figure) in your formative years

Receive and believe is a powerful aversion to being let down and hurt by potential male spouse so you choose the low hanging fruit as you deem it more safe and yourself more worthy

Betelgeuse MD XXO
Reply 78
Original post by Anonymous
Yes.. They are what a lot of people would consider below average. I never said very bad to look at though again to give an arbitrary number 3-4 out of 10 which assuming 5 is average means below average but it could be worse. I've had many occasions where my friends, friends of the guy, work colleagues my own mum and even complete strangers have laughed at me for being with these guys or told me I can do better.

I would consider myself facially a 4 (so a bit below average, and I'm happy with that) but body wise a 7 because I work out hard and I make a big effort on the way I dress. The men I like always make pretty much effort with their bodies, grooming and clothing. Again these numbers are just to illustrate people will have different opinions.


Show us a photo of you
Original post by Anonymous
Ah right. So it's narcissistic to go for someone below your level of attractiveness. I suppose it is narcissistic to go for someone above as well. Lose, lose then. I will try and find the male version of me next time then.

And I never said I was attractive so perhaps those guys I like are actually on my level.


For a woman yes. Men care about looks far more than a woman but women care a lot about being considered more attractive than their partner.

Saying you are often approached by attractive guys is a heavy implication that you are yourself attractive.

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