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Need advice from Pakistanis / Muslims. Potentially ruined my reputation. Watch

    • #5
    #5

    The problem with our society is even if you repent, Allah will forgive you but people won't. It's stupid, you way are better than those who are arrogant to admit their wrongdoings. Consider this guilt as a blessing from Allah. Allah don't disclose anything to anyone and try to move on.

    I think wearing the hijab helps, especially when it comes to friends tempting you to go on nights outs and guys are less likely to leap on you.

    May Allah protect you sis.
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    Why all this fuss over a kiss?

    Thank Jesus I'm not a muslim
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Why all this fuss over a kiss?

    Thank Jesus I'm not a muslim
    Do you think the Virgin Mary every kissed a man?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Do you think the Virgin Mary every kissed a man?
    It's perfectly conceivable that she might have kissed Joseph, yes.
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    Everyone does things that they believe they shouldn't do. It's fine. Just speak to the guy and tell him to keep it on the low. Hopefully he will understand your situation.
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    You should break it to your mother. Never lie to those you love.

    And another thing that may seem harsh: these are your actions. Your decisions. They have consequences. So you will have to deal with it however you like. But promise yourself never to repeat this mistake.

    And if you're marrying someone, don't lie to them about this. That is extremely unjust.
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    It's perfectly conceivable that she might have kissed Joseph, yes.
    Then why was she called the Virgin Mary? Also wasn't the miracle at the time that Jesus was born without a father? Hence the term "Virgin".
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    (Original post by Tabstercat)
    LOL as if all this drama from one kiss - what a ridiculous culture
    You haven't seen Indian serials dude. The drama would make any sane person blow their brain fuses.
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    (Original post by IdeasForLife)
    x
    I don't think anyone will directly confront me about it. There'll just be rumours going around behind my back (if anything is said).

    (Original post by KINGYusuf)
    Yes you did do something wrong, but you are human after all and everyone makes mistakes. You live and you learn. So who the heck cares about what people think? Let them think anything, it's not like they're perfect, everyone is ashamed of something they've secretly done. Allah will forgive anyone, no matter what anyone does.
    Okay, thanks. This is the sort of thing I needed to hear. I guess I need to remind myself that, above all, God is the most important thing.

    (Original post by BrokenLife)
    Orite, orite, haram police. The OP is literally saying how she feels bad clearly she knows that's haram. No need to make her even more guilty. Ffs.
    Thank you!

    (Original post by noticemesenpai)
    Ahem. Let's not argue here, the girl needs advice! I doubt she wants to see disagreements!
    Thank you and thanks for your advice. I don't think that my mother will find out but I feel terrible if people are saying things about me / her and she's unaware of it. At the same time, I don't think I could physically bring myself to tell her. It would break her. I don't want her to carry my shame.

    (Original post by BlindingLight)
    South Asians piss me off.
    Tell me about it. People make it their business to know everybody's business..
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    The problem with our society is even if you repent, Allah will forgive you but people won't. It's stupid, you way are better than those who are arrogant to admit their wrongdoings. Consider this guilt as a blessing from Allah. Allah don't disclose anything to anyone and try to move on.

    I think wearing the hijab helps, especially when it comes to friends tempting you to go on nights outs and guys are less likely to leap on you.

    May Allah protect you sis.
    Thank you for your advice. I won't ever be doing that again.

    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    Why all this fuss over a kiss?

    Thank Jesus I'm not a muslim
    It's not really a Muslim issue, it's an issue within the South Asian community. The situation could have been just as bad if I was Sikh / Hindu. I asked for advice from Muslims because I thought that they might be able to offer me some religious guidance / solace (since I'm Muslim myself).
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Then why was she called the Virgin Mary? Also wasn't the miracle at the time that Jesus was born without a father? Hence the term "Virgin".
    :facepalm: if you think a kiss is equal to having sex with someone
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    :facepalm: if you think a kiss is equal to having sex with someone
    A kiss can potentially lead to sex. Where do you draw the line?
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    (Original post by BlindingLight)
    South Asians piss me off.
    Aren't you south asian?
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    (Original post by cuddle_me_in)
    I could really do with some advice from people that understand where I’m coming from. I feel really ashamed of myself. I know it’s a little long but I’d appreciate if people read it.

    Up until the age of 22 (I’m now 23) I’d never put a foot wrong. When I started working at an office everything was great until about half a year down the line. I was kinda talked in to going out with a few friends from work one night (after work). I was like no no no and they were like yes yes yes. It was all on a whim and, in the end, I thought I’d experience it just once. I feel so ashamed about lying to my mother for a group of people I worked with who told me to do it. I told her I was sleeping at a friend’s house and she trusted me and I completely broke her trust. I feel so ****ing awful about it. On this night out, I did drink but the part that’s really getting to me is that I kissed a guy from work. He initiated it and it was literally like a prolonged peck on the mouth. I never speak to this guy.

    Anyway, a few months down the line some other guy (Pakistani) starts working in the same office. His extended family knows my whole family very well and both our families know like 90% of Asians in our town. He is the biggest gossip, constantly asks me questions about whether I’ve ever drank, smoked, been on nights out etc. I’m from a pretty well-respected background and out of fear of judgement I said no (not that it was any of his business in the first place). The thing is that he’s good friends with another Asian lad at work who also happens to be good friends with the random I had a sort-of kiss with. They’re on different shifts to me and I’m so sure that they’ve talked about it / or will at some point in conversation.I’m basically so stressed out right now because he will tell his whole family and everyone in my community is going to look down on me like I’m a total ****. I’m crying right now. People are gonna talk about me and my poor mother won’t even know it. I can’t even express how ashamed I feel. It was literally the only time I did something that I wasn’t supposed to and now it’s gonna come back to haunt me. This Asian boy I work with drinks, does drugs, gambles and is cheating on the girl he claims to want to marry. But none of that matters because he’s a boy and he’s open about all of it. Me? I feel like my reputation is going to be ruined. It is eating me up inside that my mother doesn’t know and I can never tell her either. I hate myself for doing this to her.

    TL;DR: The only night out I ever went on in my life, I ended up kissing a boy from work. Other Asian guy from work most likely knows about it now and he’ll tell all our mutual family friends from outside of work about it. Everyone in the Asian community is going to think I’m a slut, especially because I come from a relatively respectable background. I feel the worst for my mother who has already been through so much and then on top of that she has me for a daughter.
    That's a horrible position to be in. Why don't you just tell the other dude (the one you kissed) to not mention anything about it? Or is it not that simple? Also, is that guy Pakistani too? Maybe if he isn't, he'd understand the position you're in and is more likely not to gossip about it (since a lot of desi people love gossip, back biting, etc).
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    What will your mother be upset about more drinking or smoking
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    A kiss can potentially lead to sex. Where do you draw the line?
    So if I kissed my auntie or my uncle you would think that it's sexual in motivation?
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    (Original post by fire_and_ice)
    That's a horrible position to be in. Why don't you just tell the other dude (the one you kissed) to not mention anything about it? Or is it not that simple? Also, is that guy Pakistani too? Maybe if he isn't, he'd understand the position you're in and is more likely not to gossip about it (since a lot of desi people love gossip, back biting, etc).
    I don’t think I’ll get the chance to now. I don’t see him as we’re on different shifts (apart from 20mins when he’s at the other end of the office). There isn’t an opportunity for me to say something to him in private. No he’s not Pakistani.
    I really messed up.
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    (Original post by AngryRedhead)
    So if I kissed my auntie or my uncle you would think that it's sexual in motivation?
    If it's on the lips then that's really weird and inappropriate. But even a kiss on the cheek is a sign of closeness and familiarity.
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    Go back to sleep
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    not that i am being racist or anything but why are South Asian people like this? yeah you made a mistake but who are other people to judge you. its between you and god (am Muslim btw so i know where your coming from). why don't you find a job some where else? and just get away from these people? don't feel the pressure to be friend with anyone just so they can keep your secret just move away from these people and just be careful next time. i wish you the best gurl xx
 
 
 
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