Lust doesn't go away in a long term relationship. You just have other things too. I think sometimes they become part of the furniture and then at random times it's like you really see them again properly and all the emotions from when you first met kinda rush forward. You feel more attracted to them, lucky that they've picked you and just really in love.
It can't be like that all the time. What's sexy and loving about laundry and the mortgage? But you do get moments where they're cooking the dinner or they've done something nice and you just get that moment of, I'm so glad I'm with you.
I don't get bored. At least once a day my partner makes me laugh so hard I worry about peeing myself! Some days we talk less but it's comfortable silence.
It's okay if you're not in the place to want that kind of relationship. We mature and want different things. We look less for people to fill particular gaps in our life for us.
People in long-term relationships: Don't you get bored of the same person? Watch
- 17-04-2016 00:27
- 17-04-2016 13:06
I think it completely depends on the couple. If you weren't compatible to begin with, once the newness and excitement of the 'honeymoon period' dies down the cracks begin to show. If you're meant to be together, that doesn't matter. The excitement dies down, but you move on to a more 'comfortable' phase which is different but a lot nicer, there's no constant worry that they're about to up and leave because they've stuck with you that long, and you can enjoy spending time together without that intensity. I agree with the above poster that every so often the feelings come rushing back and you remember why you're with them in the first place.
I do think it takes some effort to maintain that though, and you have to keep doing little things to stop the boredom from setting in, like making sure you do as much to help each other out and encourage each other in life as possible and celebrating your achievements, going out on dates, making sure you resolve your disputes properly and don't keep going back to the same ones time and time again. For some couples this is easy, but for others it gets difficult and resentment starts to build up. Sadly I'm beginning to wonder if I'm currently in that situation, after four and a half years together, because we haven't been doing those things as much as we should. But I look at my parents who have been together for 30+ years and are still not bored of each other and I feel like there is some hope.
- 17-04-2016 13:44
- 17-04-2016 14:00
Then it clearly isn't love
- 17-04-2016 14:01
To the OP: Love is a choice.
You choose to love. That means that, even when she's feeling overwhelmed by life and sobbing, that you take her in your arms and hold her and tell her that everything will be all right.
What do you get out of that? Nothing. At that moment, it will be solely about the person you love and that is okay.
A long term relationship isn't 50/50. It's 100/100, where you're each giving your all. And there will be times when your partner's 100 is lying in bed and needing to be wrapped up in a blanket and brought cookies and hugged. In those times, you need to be there for them.
Because there will be a time when your 100 is lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. When that happens, wouldn't it be nice to know that you have made the decision to love someone forever and so have they?
- 17-04-2016 14:04
If you're both in love and perfect for each other then why would you get bored? :/