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Opinions on stay at home girlfriends/wifes? Watch

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    (Original post by dairychocolate)
    RIP the man's finances if they get divorced.

    Not going to fall into that trap.
    Prenup
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    (Original post by RivalPlayer)
    Just because you turned out "fine" doesn't mean a nurturing mother isn't necessary. It's essential in my opinion. Obviously your mum didn't have a choice at the time so that's understandable.

    And no, not everyone has to work. I know it's trendy to downplay the importance of traditional family units these days but there are women out there that are happy to be stay-at-home mothers because they want to spend time with their children.
    It's not one or the other. A woman can work while also being a nurturing mother. I agree that in the first few years of a child's life it's very important for the child to form a key bond with the mother, and so perhaps full time work may not be appropriate then. However as the child grows and enters school, there's really no need for the mother to feel that she cannot work and must stay at home in order to ensure her child's wellbeing. What's so wrong with a woman working during the hours that her child is at school?
    (If you are just talking about the early years then my bad)
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    (Original post by Hydeman)

    It could drive your husband insane, too, unless he's the paternal type.
    Good point...my boyfriend seems to want kids more than me though. I honestly don't think I could stomach even a week of just sitting about with a baby
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    (Original post by dairychocolate)
    RIP the man's finances if they get divorced.

    Not going to fall into that trap.
    You can get a prenup. Only problem with that is how humiliating it is, cos it shows there's not alot of trust in the relationship.
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    Imho.... The housewife seems to do more work than the average working husband.
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    Do we even need to mentioned those men that are unemployed, on benefits and still don't contribute to jack in household???
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    (Original post by Josb)
    Stop hitting me.
    Okay, I will (for now). :console:

    (Original post by infairverona)
    Good point...my boyfriend seems to want kids more than me though. I honestly don't think I could stomach even a week of just sitting about with a baby
    Hmm, it should work out alright, then. :crossedf:
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    (Original post by childofthesun)
    Not all Arabs think the same or have the same attitudes, clearly. My views on this matter are shared by other arabs I know.

    Perhaps reducing was the wrong word to use. I'd feel like I was wasting my potential;I have a very clear idea of what I want to do with my life, and I'm very passionate about the future career that I'm aiming for, so being a housewife would be very limiting and I know I wouldn't be happy living that kind of life.I have no doubt that it's not easy work, but it's just not something I want for myself.
    I honestly never said they all do, it just seemed very strange since you seemed to clearly despise the concept of a"limited and shackled' role as a housewife. If one were to read theyd easily believe you to be some sort diehard feminist.

    Eitherway I completely respect your decesion of pursuing that path, i just wanted to clarify that someone wouldn't be 'less than you' if they chose to be a housewife.

    I also wanted to ask, do you plan to have children? If you do and your man makes enough income to support the household by himself and he wanted you to look after the children what would you say? Would you rather instead send your children to daycare?
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    (Original post by donutellme)
    You can get a prenup. Only problem with that is how humiliating it is, cos it shows there's not alot of trust in the relationship.
    Lool imagine half way through your wedding and the priest your bride and her family are waiting for you to say 'I do'. Then you pull out a scruffy contract and a pen and say 'sign here first please'.

    But srsly i dnt think its having trust issues by agreeing to a prenup its just being realistic and smart considering the rate of divorce here in the UK
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    (Original post by Mentally)
    I honestly never said they all do, it just seemed very strange since you seemed to clearly despise the concept of a"limited and shackled' role as a housewife. If one were to read theyd easily believe you to be some sort diehard feminist.

    Eitherway I completely respect your decesion of pursuing that path, i just wanted to clarify that someone wouldn't be 'less than you' if they chose to be a housewife.

    I also wanted to ask, do you plan to have children? If you do and your man makes enough income to support the household by himself and he wanted you to look after the children what would you say? Would you rather instead send your children to daycare?
    I'm not some sort of 'diehard feminist'(whatever that means). I made no judgment on women who choose to stay at home, I'm just saying that I could not live that kind of life. All mothers(and fathers) who do their best to raise their children are deserving of respect, regardless of whether they work or not. Yes I do want children,and is his demand a permanent thing or just while the child is young? When the child is still young I'd want to dedicate my time to them and keep work to a minimum, but when they're of school age I'd return to work.
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    (Original post by Mentally)
    Lool imagine half way through your wedding and the priest your bride and her family are waiting for you to say 'I do'. Then you pull out a scruffy contract and a pen and say 'sign here first please'.

    But srsly i dnt think its having trust issues by agreeing to a prenup its just being realistic and smart considering the rate of divorce here in the UK
    Ya I know, but imagine your wife/husband being really happy n stuff then you pull out a contract and start talking about if you guys get divorced....
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    (Original post by childofthesun)
    It's not one or the other. A woman can work while also being a nurturing mother. I agree that in the first few years of a child's life it's very important for the child to form a key bond with the mother, and so perhaps full time work may not be appropriate then. However as the child grows and enters school, there's really no need for the mother to feel that she cannot work and must stay at home in order to ensure her child's wellbeing. What's so wrong with a woman working during the hours that her child is at school?
    (If you are just talking about the early years then my bad)
    If they want to work then it's up to them. But where is the family time when both parents work high power jobs? How can a woman in such a position be an effective mother? It doesn't happen. It's kids that grow up in these kind of environments who usually become alienated and unloved because their parents are never around.
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    (Original post by Zargabaath)
    imo it should be the complete opposite. If you have kids, you should put their happiness before anything you may want. If you're raising another human life, unable to care for itself and totally dependant on you, it's selfish to compromise on that care for your own selfish wants and desires. Of course not everyone is in that position, but those that are able to should. We live in a very selfish generation, everything's me, me, me, people need to realise you can't raise a kid properly with that attitude.
    That is obviously not how I wrote it, and how you should have taken it. But I don't think being happy is selfish, we live in a very sad world if that is the case. If you are happy with your life, you will be happy to come home and you will raise your children well and as a result you will have happy children. If you're and exhausted, drained, depressed (not all, but it can happen) stay at home mother, the father is working long hours and he is exhausted, tired, angry and falls asleep the minute he gets home, your children won't be very happy, will they?

    If parents are happy, they work together and the family works in my opinion. It's not selfish to want to be happy, it really, REALLY isn't.

    You cannot raise a kid in a sad home.
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    (Original post by RivalPlayer)
    If they want to work then it's up to them. But where is the family time when both parents work high power jobs? How can a woman in such a position be an effective mother? It doesn't happen. It's kids that grow up in these kind of environments who usually become alienated and unloved because their parents are never around.
    Can a man lose his high power job? or does it only apply to women in your opinion?
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    (Original post by RivalPlayer)
    If they want to work then it's up to them. But where is the family time when both parents work high power jobs? How can a woman in such a position be an effective mother? It doesn't happen. It's kids that grow up in these kind of environments who usually become alienated and unloved because their parents are never around.
    I don't think you understood my post at all..
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    (Original post by donutellme)
    Ya I know, but imagine your wife/husband being really happy n stuff then you pull out a contract and start talking about if you guys get divorced....
    I agree it's definately akward and embarrassing then again when she asks for a divorce and then takes the house and the kids you have no right to complain.

    Also these kind of things were much more common in Europe in the past and is still very common in different cultures and religions. E.g in Islam we have something called the 'Nikkah' translating to a marriage contract.
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    (Original post by donutellme)
    Didn't you know?

    The husband could also be getting it on with his secretary as well.
    Hmmmm true, true!
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    (Original post by HAnwar)
    I personally would never be able to leave my kids in day care.
    It's important to spend as much time with them as possible, you'll never get that time back.
    If I grow old I want to have happy memories of me playing with my child, if I didn't have that I'd regret working those days.
    Even though the Prophet (SAW) spent his first 5 years with Halima (RA)?


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    (Original post by Hydeman)
    Agreed.


    I was going for the fictional one; I've always assumed that the idea of your username is to imply that you're the fictional Holmes's one and only.
    Oh I am, I wasn't sure what you were going for though!
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    (Original post by rEaR vIeW)
    Even though the Prophet (SAW) spent his first 5 years with Halima (RA)?


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    Yes.
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    (Original post by childofthesun)
    I don't think you understood my post at all..
    You're describing a woman who does a few hours a day in Tesco. I'm talking about the women who try to juggle motherhood with their high powered jobs and career aspirations. The kid ends up losing out.

    (Original post by TheonlyMrsHolmes)
    Can a man lose his high power job? or does it only apply to women in your opinion?
    Sure if he wants to be a stay at home dad. Although like I said I believe it's more important for a child to have its mother around.
 
 
 
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