I don't see why you consider the two to be mutually exclusive.(Original post by Anonymous)
That just shows you don't really respect and like the person for who they are but want to jump into sex.
Do you think that kissing/other non-penetrative intimate acts are compatible with having 'values and respect for the person?'If you truly have values and reapect for the person you will wait for them.
Agreed.Else the person really needs to move on from a person thay thinks like that.
And that's a bad thing? How sad that people are finally entitled to their own sexualities instead of having it dictated to them by people like you.Truly shame is fading away in this century....epecially in the west.![]()
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- 06-05-2016 01:41
Last edited by troubadour.; 06-05-2016 at 01:44. -
youareworthy
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- 06-05-2016 01:53
"To thine own self be true."
You have a good value here, and though it flies in the face of what our casual sex culture says is acceptable, fun, even critically important, there are still plenty of people who share your values. It will be easier to live this value if the guys you date share it, so I suggest that you look to date guys in your faith, or that have a strong faith. Look for a guy who values sex as more than just fun and tension-relieving, but see it as the joining of the bodies AND the spirits of the two people involved (which is what I believe it is).
Blessings on you as you live your life swimming upstream! I know you will be glad you respected yourself, your man, and your marriage enough to wait! -
dairychocolate
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- 06-05-2016 02:02
If that's what you want, then I don't see the problem, even though it's not a belief that I hold.
I think the stuff about sexual compatibility is overblown. You're unlikely to run into problems as long as you are willing to communicate and keep an open mind about sex.
Good luck. -
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- 06-05-2016 02:09
(Original post by Hydeman)
I don't see why you consider the two to be mutually exclusive.
Do you think that kissing/other non-penetrative intimate acts are compatible with having 'values and respect for the person?'
Agreed.
And that's a bad thing? How sad that people are finally entitled to their own sexualities instead of having it dictated to them by people like you.
But i know and can understand that people have been lead to thinking that it is ok. But if you truly look into and the consequences of many cases then i can't see for sure if a person still promoting sex before marriage as a good thing are being serious. Or maybe they don' want the society to keep good values and take relationships or feelings serious as they may fear that they will not easily able to their thing. That is to just hook up with a girl for intimacy/sex.
I am just wondering sometimes. So don't get it the wrong way. By the way i am a girl and many times by bro have giving good teachings on guys and how to be careful. It is not that every guy will be like this who do get into long relationship before marriage and not agree to marriage yet...but it is the point of a guy asking for sex before the commitment/marriage shows straight away to me that they have lost patience and actually may not care that much to what the consequences maybe...or that they are not thinking as maturely enough yet.
As your a guy i am sure u very we know this and would want you to say it truthfully. -
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- 06-05-2016 02:35
(Original post by Anonymous)
I am sure deep down you very well know that it is a bad value to engage in intimacy/sex before marriage or with more than one person. Or maybe with 30-50 maybe more.
But i know and can understand that people have been lead to thinking that it is ok.
But if you truly look into and the consequences of many cases then i can't see for sure if a person still promoting sex before marriage as a good thing are being serious.
Or maybe they don' want the society to keep good values and take relationships or feelings serious as they may fear that they will not easily able to their thing. That is to just hook up with a girl for intimacy/sex.
I am just wondering sometimes. So don't get it the wrong way. By the way i am a girl and many times by bro have giving good teachings on guys and how to be careful. It is not that every guy will be like this who do get into long relationship before marriage and not agree to marriage yet...but it is the point of a guy asking for sex before the commitment/marriage shows straight away to me that they have lost patience and actually may not care that much to what the consequences maybe...or that they are not thinking as maturely enough yet.
As your a guy i am sure u very we know this and would want you to say it truthfully.Last edited by troubadour.; 06-05-2016 at 02:41. -
RivalPlayer
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- 06-05-2016 02:36
I don't see what the problem is. If that's what the OP wants to do then so what? I don't understand why some people are goading her to have sex with someone before marriage just because that's what the masses do. It's almost as if people are consumed with rage that someone in the UK still has a desire to wait until marriage.
I think it's a reflection of how disturbingly sexualised British society is these days,. When I see some of the attitudes expressed among these posts, it doesn't me surprise that kids today are becoming highly sexualised at increasingly younger ages thru the sheer pressure to fit in and appear "normal". There's nothing wrong with waiting. If that's what you want to do based on your personal principles then stick to it and forget what everyone else thinks.Last edited by RivalPlayer; 06-05-2016 at 18:06. -
Bang Outta Order
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- 06-05-2016 05:17
(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh I wouldn't blame someone for dumping me over it, it's just a pattern with me ATM and so I was wondering if it was weird. But that's kinda irrelevant now because I know in my heart that I want to wait until marriage and I want to be with someone who wants that to and won't resent me for it.
For the record, I don't think the world is as black and white as good and evil. Everyone has good and bad inside of them, it's what you do with your life and the paths you choose that define you. Regarding the whole kinks thing well I'm not interested in 50 shades of grey activities so when such a topic came up of what he liked and and what I liked then I'd mention not wanting anything if that kind.
I don't actually care if he's a Virgin or not, it's a personal choice and helps me to reconnect with my faith. So if he wasn't a virgin he could just tell me his preferences before marriage.
Marriage isn't just a piece of paper to me, it's a coming together of 2 people and 2 families in the presence of God and expressing your love for each other and wishing to remain together always. It's also known that women who are Virgins when married are less likely to cheat/divorce so your notion that being a Virgini could lead to me later cheating is wrong, at least for me perosnally -
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- 06-05-2016 08:00
No, not at all. People can choose to not have sex before marriage, for whatever reasons.
I personally go along the lines of 'try before you buy' but that's just me -
Lawliettt
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- 06-05-2016 08:10
Abstinence is genuienly ridiculous. Even more so if you're doing it out of free will and not because of religion.
If sticking a penis into a vagina ruins your relationship then you were never meant to get married in the first place.
Although at least with faith, while i still disagree i can understand why they don't do sex before marriage. But there's no valid reason for an athiest to do it. All you're doing is putting off the majority of the other gender since many people don't practice it.Last edited by Lawliettt; 06-05-2016 at 08:13. -
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- 06-05-2016 10:56
(Original post by youareworthy)
"To thine own self be true."
You have a good value here, and though it flies in the face of what our casual sex culture says is acceptable, fun, even critically important, there are still plenty of people who share your values. It will be easier to live this value if the guys you date share it, so I suggest that you look to date guys in your faith, or that have a strong faith. Look for a guy who values sex as more than just fun and tension-relieving, but see it as the joining of the bodies AND the spirits of the two people involved (which is what I believe it is).
Blessings on you as you live your life swimming upstream! I know you will be glad you respected yourself, your man, and your marriage enough to wait!so lovely of you to say
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- 06-05-2016 10:58
(Original post by RivalPlayer)
I don't see what the problem is. If that's what the OP wants to do then so what? I don't understand why some people are goading her to have sex with someone before marriage just because that's what the masses do. It's almost as if people are consumed with rage that someone in the UK still has a desire to wait until marriage.
I think it's reflection of how disturbingly sexualised British society is these days,. When I see some of the attitudes expressed among these posts, it doesn't me surprise that kids today are becoming highly sexualised at increasingly younger ages thru the sheer pressure to fit in and appear "normal". There's nothing wrong with waiting. If that's what you want to do based on your personal principles then stick to it and forget what everyone else thinks. -
username1894983
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- 06-05-2016 11:26
Yes it's weird, risky and immoral to have sexual relations before marriage.
Last edited by username1894983; 06-05-2016 at 16:49. -
Lord Samosa
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- 06-05-2016 11:35
(Original post by Anonymous)
Both really, I'd hate to give my Virginity to someone and then they dump me? I just want to have sex with one person who I love and spend my life with.. But also religious reasons, I've been trying to re establish my relationship with God and knowing that I'm following my faith really helps! It can just be rubbish when guys end it with me because they can't be bothered waiting and quote 'can get it somewhere else.'
It's not weird, its your choice and people have to respect it. There will be guys out there with the same mindset or willing to wait until marriage. -
bethwalker85
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- 06-05-2016 11:43
I wouldn't personally just because I enjoy sex too much but if you want a relationship, look places like forums and stuff where people will be of a similar mind to yours. This might be Christian forums or dating. I'm not sure you'd have much look finding a guy who wasn't a christian that would wait til marriage, not in my experience anyway.
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- 06-05-2016 11:49
It's not weird,it's pretty much up to you
From my experience, these thoughts change as years pass by,so you may have different thoughts few years down the road -
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- 06-05-2016 13:21
(Original post by Kraixo)
Yes it's weird, and immoral. -
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- 06-05-2016 14:32
I honestly think you're inhibiting your own quality of life if you're not being pounded twice a week.
Last edited by Tom78; 06-05-2016 at 17:16. -
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- 06-05-2016 16:14
It's up to you. It doesn't matter your reasoning why, it's what matters to you. Wait until it feels right for you both, it should be a mutual decision rather than forced by one or obligatory
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- 06-05-2016 16:31
No, not weird at all (replying on title question). Everyone is different.
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nightwing51214
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- 06-05-2016 17:32
Just speaking from personal experience- but I'm waiting until marriage so that my first time goes to someone worthy (the love of my life)
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