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Should I marry him? Please can I have some advice? Watch

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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Wow.

    The guy has been looking out for her and after her and her family for a very long time. He actually has shown he cares and has shown virtue and morality. Not only are her friends for it, so is her mother, who deeply cares about her. She's also physically attracted to him, and maybe even emotionally attracted also.

    Now, what you are trying to advocate to the OP is hey, marriage is pointless at 19, go and date guys, go through many, maybe half a dozen men who maybe want you as a temporary sex buddy and unlike the guy in the OP, actually WOULD take advantage of you, and throw away the chance to be with someone close to your family, has shown he will look after you and be there and actually stick around.

    OP, do not take her advice.

    Reject marriage depending on the guy at hand, NOT what this user has told you.
    1) Pathetic you're saying this on anon
    2) You're assuming her mother cares for her. It's not exactly a hard fact unless you know the Mum personally which you probs don't
    3) Where did I say go through many guys? Admirable of you to try twisting words. If you read my previous post, I said she should date him.
    4) Again you're making stupid and pointless assumptions that men are going to use her for just sex.
    5) How do you know he's not taking advantage of her? Read up on domestic abuse in marriage. Many of the girls were married young and claimed that the guy was "charming" until marriage.
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    age is simply a mediocre factor, don't let your age or the age gap stop you. I think it may be wise if you dated first though, actually get to know each other etc
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's sort of known the family for three years, has spoken to her on many occasions and has supported the family. I wouldn't call that knowing her totally, but he definitely knows her fairly in a sense, and has proven he has other good qualities.

    Put the loaded aside, and look at what else he has done for her and her family.
    She doesn't know him romantically and she's too young which is the bit that makes other people iffy about it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's sort of known the family for three years, has spoken to her on many occasions and has supported the family. I wouldn't call that knowing her totally, but he definitely knows her fairly in a sense, and has proven he has other good qualities.

    Put the loaded aside, and look at what else he has done for her and her family.
    All he did was pay for some ballet lessons and then he kissed her by the rose bush.
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    (Original post by mariam687)
    lmaoo, we're going off the topic m8, read the title, shes asking for advice not start some debate..

    but yeah, i would marry the guy because "mummy" told me to, judging by how OP has described him as, he seems nice, he's helped her through the hard times.
    And if he was abusive, im sure my "mummy" would tell me to leave him for the best. She wouldnt force me to stay with an an abusive husband.

    why think about the negative sides, what about the positives?
    OP dad passed away, maybe getting married my might her happier and satisfied ?
    I gave her advice. Yours wasn't exactly wise advice tbh.

    But your mother should've known he was going to be abusive surely? Since she knows best...
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    So you're not in a relationship with him?

    Do you even know what marriage is?

    You already know the answer. Had to read the OP twice cause I thought you was already living together and in love...
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    (Original post by Thomb)
    All he did was pay for some ballet lessons and then he kissed her by the rose bush.
    What is wrong with you? Your acting like this is funny when people are talking about this seriously.
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    (Original post by missdiorxx)
    WOAH! Guys, how come we completely missed the fact that she wrote SOMETIMES SHE'S SCARED THAT HE'LL TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER.
    I know that you wrote that you know he wouldn't, but how do you know for sure?
    It sounds strange considering he's ten years older than you, you're not dating, he's SECRETIVE, mysterious, paying for your dance, and then he kissed you.
    A ten year age gap is fine, but not when you're a teenager.
    There's no problem with getting married young, but from what it sounds like you're too scared about it and I think you subconsciously doubt him. The fact that you said he's secretive shows you can't be in an open relationship - how can you trust him?
    It sounds romantic what he's done for you, but you don't seem too wowed by it - only your mother and your friends.
    Your mum sounds like a gold digger as well. So don't trust her.
    Ask your self this:
    If I'm with him will I be happy?
    Be easy! You can't go around calling a person's Mother a 'gold digger', her mum probably only wants what's best for her - considering her misfortune
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    (Original post by missdiorxx)
    What is wrong with you? Your acting like this is funny when people are talking about this seriously.
    Its funny because the OP reads like a mills and boon novel or something.
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    (Original post by needhelp247)
    Be easy! You can't go around calling a person's Mother a 'gold digger', her mum probably only wants what's best for her - considering her misfortune
    Yeah the mystery man is probably her mystery next lover or something.
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    (Original post by MrsSheldonCooper)
    I gave her advice. Yours wasn't exactly wise advice tbh.

    But your mother should've known he was going to be abusive surely? Since she knows best...
    well obviously you wouldnt think my advice was wise, yours is completely different..

    ur making it seem as though i described the mother as some psychic, or fairy godmother lol
    people make mistakes God..

    "mother knows best" is just a saying, but genuinly a mother would never intend to hurt her child.. and if he was abusive, the only advice she would give is to move away from him.
    • #3
    #3

    It seems like she's being pressured into it, and it seems like she'll have a hard time saying no.
    Everyone put yourself in her shoes:
    Her dad died.
    Her mum, friends and probably sisters are persuading her to get married for the wrong reasons.
    She's not even 20 yet.
    She's scared around him and feel like she's going to be raped.
    There are people arguing over your personal life.

    To me, it seems like you are slightly uncomfortable around him. As much as he is trying to protect you, you said that HE talks. Is it all about him or what? It's worrying that you're scared he might rape you...
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    (Original post by mariam687)
    well obviously you wouldnt think my advice was wise, yours is completely different..

    ur making it seem as though i described the mother as some psychic, or fairy godmother lol
    people make mistakes God..

    "mother knows best" is just a saying, but genuinly a mother would never intend to hurt her child.. and if he was abusive, the only advice she would give is to move away from him.
    Rightt...
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    (Original post by Thomb)
    Yeah the mystery man is probably her mystery next lover or something.
    plot twist
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    (Original post by needhelp247)
    plot twist
    Well its obvious that her mother is trying to replace her deceased husband with a younger model.
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    (Original post by Thomb)
    Well its obvious that her mother is trying to replace her deceased husband with a younger model.
    I see your angle, but that's slightly far fetched
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    (Original post by needhelp247)
    I see your angle, but that's slightly far fetched
    Or he could possibly be a necromancer which would explain his 'mysterious' air.
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    (Original post by Thomb)
    Or he could possibly be a necromancer which would explain his 'mysterious' air.
    Oh please! necromancer? - don't be outrageous
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    bs
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    (Original post by georgiapullmanxx)
    If this is right....
    I know someone in real life called Harlow Berry...
    Who lives two roads away from me in the village mansion...
    And I know that her dad passed away
    I know that she is a STUNNING, shy girl
    and I studied with her at A-Levels...
    If this is the Harlow Berry i know then i am freaking out right now...
    Whats really weird is both you and her joined today and both of you made your first posts on the same thread./
 
 
 
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